"What, is she in a coma?" Prince Fletcher asked lazily. "I've heard of that weirdo lazy kingdom next door. All that princess does there is sleep. I love sleep as much as the next in line for the throne, but seriously, asleep for one hundred years? That seems a little unhealthy."

Prince Fletcher's father, King Skulduggery, frowned at his son. "Someone told me you have to go kiss the princess because then something neat would happen. Some fairy who threatened to attack me with her tiny sword. Now go." He pointed his royal finger out the door. Prince Fletcher scowled at his father, and his mother, Queen China, but he dragged himself out of the grand castle and moseyed on over to the neighboring kingdom. He met his father's trusted adviser, Lord Serpine.

"Good evening, Prince Fletcher," he hissed. Lord Serpine did that a lot. "What bringsyou to be out on this fine evening?"

"I have to go kiss a comatose princess," Prince Fletcher grumbled. "I don't wanna."

"I'd be happy to take over for you, Prince Fletcher," Lord Serpine murmured, tapping his fingers together evilly.

"Thanks for offering, but it's all good man," Prince Fletcher replied, waving Lord Serpine away. Lord Serpine scowled and seemed to slither off. He adjusted his bright red gloves and groaned in frustration.

Prince Fletcher carried on, heading through the woods and into a dense forest. He came across Professor Grumpy Troll. He was renowned for his grumpiness…and his troll-ness.

"Hey there Professor Grumpy Troll," Prince Fletcher greeted him. "You don't look a day over three hundred."

"Well guess what!!" Professor Grumpy Troll shouted. "I'm six hundred! Now get out of my forest!!" he bellowed. Prince Fletcher darted away, trying his best to heroically jump over bushes and branches, but he kept falling on his face. Professor Grumpy Troll wasn't a very nice troll, Prince Fletcher decided. But he did make a mean margarita. Oh, he also could heal decapitations, but that's not important.

Prince Fletcher reached the neighbor castle and knocked on the grand doors. Two knights came to the entrance and permitted him entrance.

"Howdy!" one knight said. "I'm Sir Sanguine!" he grinned goofily from beneath his helmet.

"And I am Sir Dusk," the other knight whispered, bowing low. "How can we assist you today?"

"I'm supposed to go kiss the princess because she needs to get her lazy butt out of bed. So yeah."

Sir Sanguine and Sir Dusk nodded and let him through, both bowing deeply. Prince Fletcher nodded at the two knights, then bounded up the stairs to the Princess Chamber, as Sir Sanguine called it. He pushed open the door and groaned. The princess was so messy! Prince Fletcher would have expected her to at least clean up every once and a while.

He stepped over the clothes and books strewn across the floor, and then knelt down at the bed. Princess Valkyrie looked peaceful in her sleep, though she didn't look so pretty. Her hair was a huge mess, and the blankets were all tied and strewn around her. She was wearing a huge poofy dress, which Prince Fletcher deemed impractical for wearing to bed.

Anyway, he bent down and kissed Princess Valkyrie on the lips lightly. Her dark eyes fluttered open, and she immediately slapped Prince Fletcher.

"SEXUAL HARASSER," she shouted.

"WHAT DID I DO?" he shouted right back.

"You kissed a defenseless woman!" Princess Valkyrie screamed, hopping from the bed, and almost falling over her big poofy dress. "Fairy Tanith you didn't say this would happen!"

Suddenly, a small creature appeared out of thin air. She had a small sword in her tiny little hand, with a sparkling star on the end. It shot out sparks at random points. "I said he'd do that!" she shouted. Prince Fletcher only assumed it was Fairy Tanith.

"You so didn't!" Princess Valkyrie shouted and waved the fairy away. Fairy Tanith scowled, but stomped away in mid-air, the sparks shooting from her sword like crazy now.

"So…" Prince Fletcher again. "Now that you're awake, General Ghastly of the Royal Army of Royal Ireland wants us to get married. Something about Lord Serpine. He kept saying that his magical-wizard-friend-man-thing Finbar had predicted that Lord Serpine would go all psycho and kill my father, so General Ghastly of the Royal Army of Royal Ireland wants us to get hitched super fast. Sound good?"

Princess Valkyrie considered it a moment, but finally nodded. "If I get a dog, I'll be happy," she said.

"A dog can be rearranged."

And together, Prince Fletcher, Princess Fletcher, Sir Sanguine, and Sir Dusk walked off unceremoniously in the sunset, careful not to stumble across Professor Grumpy Troll.

And they all lived happily ever after…