Somewhere in Egypt…
Bakura was sitting down waiting for the meeting to begin. He looked around the tomb feeling like something was missing.
"Okay why is it so quiet?" Bakura asked. "Where is everyone?"
"Well Steve Luna is still at the hospital taking care of Steve Umbris while his eyes heal." Zorc said.
"Oh that's right." Bakura said. "Who knew that Umbris had a rare Mooninite disease that would make his eyes burn out of their sockets if he saw a picture of two naked anime characters having sex."
"Luna said that it's a rare moon disease that affects one out of seven Mooninites." Zorc said. "And Marik is still pacing in his room trying to figure out a plan to get back at Dartz for the Yaoi picture he posted."
"Terrific. I wonder what sort of moronic and juvenile plan he'll come up with this time." Bakura wondered.
"I suggested a plan to him but Marik turned it down." Zorc said. "He thought it would be too obvious."
"What was your plan Zorc?" Bakura asked.
"I thought we could buy some Swedish chocolate and switch out the chocolate with Exlax and then send the box of ExLax chocolates to Dartz." Zorc explained. "Then when he ate the chocolates he would get diarrhea."
"Why Swedish chocolate? Why not just buy ordinary chocolate?" Bakura asked.
"Because the chocolate made in Switzerland is the finest in the world." Zorc said. "And the fact Switzerland is a great country. The have cuckoo clocks, chocolate, Swiss bank accounts, the Alps, and yodeling. I love Switzerland. It is one of the few places I can't destroy."
"Right then I'm going to enjoy the peace and tranquility before Marik comes bursting out with one of his fool plans." Bakura said. Bakura had just sat down in a chair when Marik came bursting out of his room screaming "I've got it! I know how we can get back at Dartz!"
"Well at least I got to enjoy the whole five seconds of silence." Bakura said.
Then Marik cried out "Evil Council of Doom members assemble!" Dan Green and Teddy walked into the room just as Pegasus came running into the meeting in his bathrobe and a shower cap on.
"What the EFF are you doing Pegasus? Why are you wearing nothing but a bathrobe?" Marik asked.
"Well you called for us to assemble just as I was about to take my fabulous bubble bath." Pegasus explained. "So I just grabbed my bathrobe and here I am."
"Yes along with your…personal belongings." Bakura said. Pegasus got the hint and fixed his bathrobe.
"So what's your plan to get back at Dartz Marik?" Dan Green asked.
"We are going to desend upon Dartz and his henchmen under a cloak of darkness." Marik said. "Then we will infiltrate their headquarters, make our way to Dartz's shower, and then steal every single drop of conditioner he posess."
"Why the bloody hell do you want to steal Dartz's hair conditioner?" Bakura asked.
"Well you've seen his hair right? I mean it's so frigging long and awesome looking!" Marik said. "He has to have some sort of special conditioner."
"And how will stealing his conditioner defeat Dartz?" Bakura asked.
"His hair won't be as awesome as it usually is! He'll have some many split ends and frizzes it will make Bakura's hair stand on end." Marik said. "His life will be thrown into so much hair related chaos Dartz will have no choice but to take down the Yaoi pic and concede defeat to us! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"That plan is simply fabulous." Pegasus said. "I'm almost out of hair conditioner myself and once we steal Dartz's I won't have to buy more. I just hope that it's the same brand I use."
"That plan really sucks." Rex said.
"Yeah man it sucks." Weevil said.
"Well I don't remember asking you two so shut the EFF up!" Marik told them.
"I agree with Rex and Weevil this plan does suck but I would like to volunteer to join this mission." Bakura said.
"Are you serious Bakura?" Marik asked.
"Yes. As much as I hate Umbris he is a member of our council." Bakura said. "And because of Dartz he's in the hospital with his eyes burning in their sockets. No one harms another member of this council except for me and Melvin and gets away with it. We owe it to Umbris to do something to get even."
"That's the spirit Bakura!" Zorc shouted. "I'm going too and while I'm there I will destroy Dartz's headquarters!"
"And I will send Dartz to the seven layer of hell!" Teddy shouted.
"He will rue the day he ever heard the sexy man voice of me famous voice actor Dan Green." Dan Green said.
"Then we are all in agreement!" Marik shouted hosting the Millennium Rod in the air. "We shall go forth and take Dartz hair conditioner once and for all! For Steve Umbris, for our Council of Doom!"
"For Switzerland!" Zorc shouted as the entire council left the tomb.
Deep beneath the ocean's surface…
"Everybody get in here!" Dartz shouted. "We got us a new member!"
"Crikey a new member?" Valon said. "I'd better throw another shrimp on the barby." Then Valon reached into a box of shrimp and threw another one on his barby.
"So who's joining us now Master Dartz?" Alister asked.
"Everyone feast your eyes on the guy known as… Dr. Zeeeeeeeeeeee…eee" Dartz said. Then a short white haired old guy dressed up to look like a scientist walked in.
"Hello there everyone." Dr. Z said.
"Boss is this for really? Are you really letting this guy join of council?" Alister asked.
"Of course you asshoe!" Dartz said. "We made a crucial blow to Marwik with Awisters Yaoi pic man and now that he is weakened we need to deliver another blow to Marwik. And with the Dr. Z's help we will defeat Marwik Ishtar and Yugi Mutoe once and for all man!"
"But boss how can he help us? Our show revolves around playing children's card games." Valon said. "Dr. Z's from Dinosaur King. His show revolves around chasing dinosaurs all over the world."
"That may be true but that doesn't mean I don't have any experience with trading cards." Dr. Z said. He then reached into his lab coat and pulled out a Tyrannosaurs Rex card. "You see in my show the dinosaurs can transform into trading cards."
"The dinosaurs transform into trading cards?" Valon asked.
"That is correct." Dr. Z told him.
"You've got to be kidding?" Valon asked. "There's no way that that card is a dinosaur."
"Perhaps you should demonstrate what your trading cards can do Dr. Z." Dartz told him.
"Well then if you insist Dartz." Dr. Z said. The doctor reached into his lad coat and pulled out the Alpha scanner and then swiped the card through it. "Show yourself Terry!" Then a red life size T-Rex appeared.
"Holy #$% on a #$% sandwich!" Alister cried.
"Sweet jumping kangaroos!" Valon shouted.
"What did he say?" Dr. Z asked.
"Valon said holy f#$% in Australian." Alister said.
"Oh I see." Dr. Z said. He then recalled Terry and placed him back into his card.
"Well are you duschbags convinced now?" Dartz asked.
"I'm convinced that dinosaurs can transform into trading cards." Alister said. "But I still don't see how this is going to defeat Yugi and Marik?"
"Do I have to expwain everything to you duschbags?" Dartz asked.
"Apparently so." Valon said.
"We send the doctor here to challenge Yugi Mutoe to a card game man. And when Yugi goes of his Do Monsters cards the doctor summons out the Terwe!" Dartz said.
"And then what?" Alister said.
"EFF! I hadn't thought that far man." Dartz said. "Um…then Terwe…eats Yugi's Grandpa!"
"You're going to have Terry eat Grandpa Muto?" Valon asked.
"Why the hell are we going to have Terry eat his grandpa?" Dr. Z asked.
"Because when Yugi watches his grandpa gets eaten he will loss the will to do!" Dartz said. "And if Yugi won't do then there will be no one to stop us and without his grandpa to run that card shop we'll be putting a business out of business."
"And then I can pursue my dream of building my dinosaur kingdom and becoming Dinosaur King!" Dr. Z shouted.
"What the hell are you taking about?" Alister asked.
"You see if I help you guys beat Yugi Dartz has agreed to help me build my dinosaur coliseum." Dr. Z said. "There I will have dinosaurs fight for the entertainment of all and I will rule over it as a king!"
"So let me get this straight you want to build a coliseum where these dinosaurs can fight one another for people's entertainment?" Valon asked. "And you want to rule over it and call yourself a Dinosaur King?"
"Precisely." Dr. Z said.
"That is by far the gayest thing I have ever heard." Valon said.
"Not to mention the stupidest." Alister said.
"How dare you mock my dreams you fools! Prepare to feel my wrath!" Dr. Z shouted. He pulled out the Alpha scanner again and swiped Terry's card. "Alpha slash! Get them Terry!"
Outside the room in the hallway Marik, Bakura, and the others were trying to sneak through Dartz's headquarters trying to find his shower. Before arriving Marik had changed into a ninja custom. They were passing the meeting hall when they heard Terry's roar and Valon and Alister screaming in fear.
"What in the name of all that's camp was that?" Pegasus asked fixing his rob.
"I don't know and I don't care." Bakura said. "Let's just find the conditioner and get out of here." As they walked Pegasus had to fix his robe again.
"Pegasus why didn't you change before we left?" Zorc asked.
"Well I was caught up in the heat of the moment and just forgot about it." Pegasus said fixing his shower cap.
"I wish I could forget about it." Bakura snared. "Marik how much longer is this going to take?" Marik looked back at Bakura and started making weird gestures with his hands. "Marik would you please stop waving your hands in the air and just speak."
Marik pulled off the ninja mask and said "But I can't talk Bakura I'm a ninja and ninja's don't talk."
"But you just did." Bakura pointed out.
"Crap in a bucket." Marik said. "I am a horrible excuse for a ninja."
"Enough of the ninja bulls#$t." Bakura said. "Let's just find Dartz conditioner and get out of here."
"But this place is like huge." Rex said. "I mean it's bigger than Mai Valentine's boobs."
"Yeah and even those are pretty huge." Weevil said.
"What we need are directions or even a sign." Dan Green said.
Bakura turned to Dan Green and said "Do you honestly think that there's going to be…"
"Hey guys look direction signs." Zorc said. Everyone looked in front of them and say arrows painted on the wall pointing to different rooms.
"Excellent! Now we can find Dartz's shower." Marik said. He ran up to the arrows and started to read them off. "Let's see gym, meeting hall, swimming pool, room full of souls taken from people using the Seal of Orichalcos, bingo living quarters. Follow me my evil council." Marik started down the hall and his council followed. They reached the end of the hall and found four doors. "Oh great!" Marik said. "Now how are we supposed to know which of these is Dartz's room?"
"I think it's this one Marik." Bakura said pointing to one door.
"How can you be sure Bakura?" Dan Green asked.
"Because it says 'Dartz's Room' right here on the door." Bakura said.
"Good work Fluffy!" Marik said. "Now let us go inside and complete our mission." Once they stepped inside Dartz's room Pegasus went crazy.
"Would you get a load of this place?" Pegasus said. "It's even more fabulous than my bedroom. Everything matches perfectly and it's all colored coordinated. In fact this place makes my room look so tacky."
"Shut up about your bedroom Pegasus and help us find the bathroom." Marik commanded.
"Could it possibly be behind the door over there with 'Dartz's Bathroom' on the door?" Pegasus asked.
"There is but one way to find out." Marik said. Marik opened the door and they all marched into Dartz's bathroom.
"I don't believe it." Bakura said. "This bathroom's bigger than the entire tomb."
"I could almost live in here." Dan Green said. "I wonder if Dartz would charge rent."
Marik stopped in front of Dartz's shower. "This is it gentlemen. Soon we shall have our revenge and Dartz's hair conditioner." Marik pulled back the shower curtain only to see the Pharaoh taking a shower.
"What in the name of Ra are you doing Marik?" the Pharaoh asked. "If I don't even let the fan girls watch me shower what makes you think that I'm going to let you." The Pharaoh pulled the shower curtain back and left Marik standing there confused.
"Marik do you have it?" Bakura asked.
"Have what?" Marik asked slowly recovering.
"An inflamed appendix." Bakura said sarcastically. "Dartz's bloody hair conditioner you twit!"
"Not yet." Marik said.
"Why the bloody hell not?" Bakura asked.
"Well when I pulled back the curtain the Pharaoh was in there showering." Marik explained.
"Marik what would the Pharaoh be doing in Dartz's shower?" Bakura asked.
"Well duh taking a shower Bakura." Marik said. "What else is he going to be doing, his nails?"
"Move out of my way you fool." Bakura commanded Marik. Marik stepped aside and Bakura pulled back the shower curtain and saw nothing but an empty shower.
"Hey what's the deal? Where'd the Pharaoh go?" Marik asked.
"Enough! Let's just get the conditioner and go!" Bakura declared. Marik got into the shower and started to check out all the bottles that were there.
"There's just so many bottles I don't know which one it is." Marik said. "We're going to have to call in the expert on this on Bakura."
Bakura turned around and said "Oh Pegasus could you come here for a moment?"
"What is it?" Pegasus asked.
"We need you to identify which of these bottles is Dartz's hair conditioner." Marik said.
"Well then let me take a look." Pegasus said climbing into the shower. "Let's see here moisturizer cream, bubble bath, shampoo, moisturizing bubble bath new formula, that's strange."
"What? What is strange?" Marik asked.
"I didn't know that Kaiba boy had his own line of soaps." Pegasus said.
"Never mind Kaiba's soap! Just get the conditioner!" Bakura yelled.
"Now there's no need to shout Bakura I have it right here." Pegasus said holding up the bottle.
"Excellent work! Now then gentlemen back to Egypt!" Marik declared. The council of doom turned around and came face to face with Terry at full size.
"What the bloody hell is that?" Bakura asked.
"This is Terwe and he's going to be the end of you duchbags!" Dartz said walking in. He was followed by Alister, Valon, and Dr. Z.
"Dartz you will pay for posting that Yaoi of me and that Yuma kid!" Marik shouted.
"I doubt that man." Dartz said. "Let me introduce you to my newest member, Dr. Z."
"Hello you fools." Dr. Z said.
"Why the bloody hell did you let him join your council?" Bakura asked. "He's from that show Dinosaur King."
"That maybe but they do deal with trading cards on that show and that's good enough for me man." Dartz said. Dartz then looked at Marik and saw the bottle of conditioner in his hand. "That's my hair conditioner man!"
"That's right we've got it! And there's not a damn thing you can do about it!" Marik said.
"You're right man there's nothing I can do but there is something Dr. Z can do." Dartz said.
"That's right! I can have Terry destroy you all!" Dr. Z cried. He pulled a move card from his jacket and swiped it through the Alpha scanner. "Go Neck Crusher!" Terry then charged forward towards Marik, Bakura, and the others.
"Ah it's so cute!" Zorc said. "I want to play with him. Come here little Terry!" As both councils of doom watched in shock and horror Terry lunched forward and bit Zorc in his dragon penis, spun him around, flung him into the air, and when Zorc came back down Terry swatted Zorc with his tail and sent him flying. When Zorc hit the ground he could be seen clutching his crotch and crying.
"Zorc are you alright?" Bakura asked.
"I think Terry broke my dragon penis!" Zorc cried.
"What the EFF was that? I thought you said that move was called Neck Crusher?" Marik yelled.
"Yes well Terry does have a tendency to fight dirty." Dr. Z said. Terry then turned his attention to the rest of the council. "Oh and don't even think of trying to use your trading cards to stop Terry because they won't work."
"And why not?" Marik asked.
"Because my cards and your cards come from two different shows. They won't have any effect on each other." Dr. Z explained.
"If that's the case then we're like totally screwed aren't we?" Rex asked.
"Yeah I think we are screwed." Weevil said.
"Silence you fools! We are not screwed just yet. We can still think of a plan to escape." Marik reassured them.
"Yes but what could we possibly use to get past Terry?" Pegasus asked.
"Maybe if we could blind them all or cause a blackout. Then we could sneak right past them." Dan Green said.
"Excellent plan Dan Green except we don't have anything to cause a blackout or blind them." Teddy said.
"We may have something." Bakura said.
"And what would that be Florence?" Marik asked.
"I can't believe I'm about to say this but Pegasus show them your funny bunny." Bakura said.
"Bakura are you sure about this?" Pegasus asked.
"Yes. It may distract them long enough for us to turn off the lights and sneak out." Bakura said.
"Well then if you insist." Pegasus walked up to the front to the council to face Terry, Dartz, Dr. Z, Valon, and Alister. Terry walked up to him jaws open ready to eat Pegasus when Pegasus grabbed his robe. "Prepare yourself Dartz to see my funny bunny!" Pegasus took of his robe and exposed himself to everyone in the room. Terry took one look and ran away.
"What the EFF'ing hell man!" Dartz said trying to block his eyes.
"He scared off Terry." Alister said.
"I'd run away to if I were Terry." Valon said. "Just look at the size of that thing!"
"Now Bakura the light switch!" Pegasus yelled. Bakura ran over and flicked off the lights casting the entire bathroom into darkness. Dartz found another switch and turned the light back on.
"Damn man they got away with my conditioner!" Dartz yelled. He turned to Dr. Z and shouted "This is all your fault man!"
"My fault! How the hell is this my fault!" the doctor asked.
"If your over grown lizard would have attacked Pegasus instead of running away I would still have my hair conditioner!" Dartz yelled.
"I don't have to take this kind of abuse from you!" Dr. Z yelled. "I quit the evil council!"
"You can't quit man because you're fired!" Dartz shouted. "Have your desk cleaned out by the end of the day man!"
"I don't even have a f#king desk here!" Dr. Z shouted.
"Then I guess you can just leave man!" Dartz said.
"Fine by me!" Dr. Z shouted. As Dr. Z stormed out of the bathroom he ran into Raphael and said "Your boss the stupidest mother f#ker I have ever met!" and he left.
"Yeah sometimes I feel that way too." Raphael said. He then walked into the bathroom.
"Hi Raphael." Valon said.
"Where the EFF have you been all day man?" Dartz asked.
"I was out shopping." Raphael said. He then reached into the bag he was caring and threw a bottle at Dartz.
"What the hell is this man?" Dartz asked.
"More hair conditioner." Raphael said.
"But how did you know Marik stole Master Dartz's old conditioner?" Alister asked.
"Marik did what?" Raphael asked.
"He and his council stole the bottle of hair conditioner that was in Master Dartz's shower." Valon said.
"Well there going to be sorry they did." Raphael asked.
"And why is that man?" Dartz asked.
Raphael faced Dartz and said "Because that bottle…"
Back in Egypt…
Marik walked into the tomb and placed the conditioner on the table. "Excellent work my evil council." he said. "Now thanks to us Dartz doesn't have any hair conditioner. He will have more split ends then Yugi has screen time. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"That's great and all Marik but I think we should take Zorc to the hospital to get his dragon penis checked out." Bakura said.
"Good call Bakura." Marik said. "And while we're there we can stop by to see Steve Umbris."
"Well if you guys are going to do that I think I'll take my bath now." Pegasus said.
"Oh wait a minute Pegasus." Marik said. Marik then tossed the bottle of conditioner to Pegasus. "Use this. It will add insult to injure for Dartz when he finds out that his conditioner was used on the hair of someone in our evil council."
"That sounds simply fabulous." Pegasus said. Pegasus opened the bottle to see if there was enough to do his hair when his face turned from one of joy to bitter disappointment.
"Um Marik you may want to take a look at this." Pegasus said.
"What Pegasus? What is it?" Marik asked.
"This bottle of conditioner is empty." Pegasus said.
"What the EFF do you mean it's empty?" Marik yelled. Bakura walked over and took the bottle from Pegasus.
"He's right! Dartz must have used up the last bit and forgot about it!" Bakura shouted. "Do you know what this means Marik!"
"That we should have checked the bottle before we left?" Marik asked nervously.
"It means you took us on another bloody fool's mission!" Bakura shouted. "We snuck into Dartz's headquarters, almost risked being eaten, and having to Pegasus funny bunny for nothing!"
"Well we stole the bottle from him so the trip wasn't a total waste." Marik said. Bakura had a look of pure rage when he walked up to Marik. Bakura reached around Marik's body and pulled the Millennium Rod from behind him.
"Ah Bakura what are you doing with my rod?" Marik asked. Bakura took off the end part of the rod to expose the sharp pointy end.
"I figured I would give you a five second head start." Bakura said.
"You've got to be kidding?" Marik asked.
"Times up Marik." Bakura said with an evil smile.
"Oh come one you're not going to do any…" Marik could not finish his sentence because he was running around the tomb screaming like a girl as Bakura tried to stab him with the Millennium Rod.
Dan Green looked at Zorc and said "I told you this was going to happen someday."
-Dan Green, Rex and Weevil, and Teddy took Zorc to the hospital to get his dragon penis checked out. It turned out that Terry had broken Zorc's dragon penis. He had to wear a cast that looked like a dog cone for four weeks.