ii. Sweet Escapes

Darcy kept smiling so much her face was starting to hurt. She needed to tone it down. She pressed her lips together as they got off at their stop.

They walked for another ten minutes until they found the place in Brooklyn, and from the outside it looked like an English tavern Darcy sometimes saw in travel shows.

"Oh, cute!" she said, until she read the sign above the entrance. "Sweet Escapes?"

"Yeah, uh, Sam made the reservation for me," Steve replied, and he stepped forward to open the door for her and Darcy gave him a small nod of thanks.

Inside it was more like a reception at a day spa, creepy so-called calming music playing on the loudspeakers above their heads while a young guy with slicked back hair and a bored face sat at the front desk.

"Hello, welcome to Sweet Escapes, I will be your host Kevin," he said with no inflection, looking at Darcy's chest and then her face. "Do you have a reservation."

Steve's face said it all. Confusion and mild disgust.

"I'm Steve Rogers," he said.

"Mr. and Mrs. Rogers for 7 o'clock, awesome," Kevin said, his voice like gravel.

Darcy and Steve exchanged a look and Steve opened his mouth, but Darcy smiled, stepping forward.

"Yes, I am the missus."

Steve looked confused until Darcy mouthed Go with it, pointing to the sign that read Couple's Special. If it was a real date she would have ignored the discount entirely, living in her own fantasy world where they guy she was with showered her with expensive things. She knew Steve liked good value. He was always telling her what a penny used to buy.

Kevin rose from his seat and came around the front, ushering them down the hall to a small room. Darcy had never been in an escape room before and she had her reasons. She didn't do well in confined spaces for longer than a short amount of time.

Elevators were hit and miss. If she was having a bad day she took the stairs. If she was having a good day she wouldn't mind being squished into the metal can.

The escape room they walked into looked a bit jumbled, like all the furniture came from different eras. There were doodads and kitschy little things on shelves that had Darcy's eyebrows hiking.

"First, housekeeping," Kevin said. "You have two hours to complete the task. If you finish it before the time is up you get a prize and you can leave. The timer automatically triggers the door to open again."

Kevin rose his hand in a half-assed gesture toward the door, which Darcy could see locked more like the kind for a safe than the small room they stood in.

"Did this place used to be a bank?" Darcy asked, interrupting Kevin's slow flow.

"Yes," he said. He gave a small wave with the same enthusiasm as before. "There are clues to finding the key."

"Is it a literal key?" Darcy asked, and Kevin just gave her a long blank stare before looking at Steve, handing him a laminated card.

"Your first clue. Good luck."

Darcy narrowed her eyes after Kevin's retreating back. The door glided shut and clicked loudly, making Darcy's stomach drop.

"Cool," she murmured. "Now we just have to get out of here."

Steve turned the laminated card over in his hand.

"That guy hates his job," Darcy said, hands on her hips as she looked around.

The room looked like things were salvaged from a Good Will. Everything was very ugly and clashed. A lot of it made Steve's eyes hurt.

"I'd hate to work here, too," he said, hitting his palm with the card. "We married now?"

"Sure," Darcy said, smiling. She twirled in her dress a little, making Steve smile back at her. "If you told me we'd be doing an escape room I probably would have said no to tonight."

"Why?" Steve asked, and he felt his heart sink a little.

"No reason," Darcy said, hands up. "I'm just not a huge fan of the concept."

He looked down at the card and finally read it:

"Which month has 28 days?"

Darcy had begun twirling again, answering, "All of them."

She stopped, pointing behind Steve at the calendar and he headed toward it, feeling for another card. She narrowed her eyes, nodding.

"Teamwork," he said, pulling out another laminated card from February's section.

Music suddenly came through a speaker and they were momentarily distracted.

"I get the feeling Kevin meant to have the music playing the whole time," Darcy said. "It's all… lovey shit."

Steve didn't know the song but recognized the genre at least. A woman singing about her teenage dream and his eyebrows rose at one of the more risqué lyrics. Darcy only laughed at him.

"Hey, Steve. Get a clue."

"Right," he muttered, turning over the card. "What has a face and a tail but no arms and legs?"

Darcy seemed to blurt the first thing that came into her head: "A hot dog!"

Steve burst out laughing, surprised by his own lack of restraint. Darcy blushed, shrugging.

"How does a hot dog have a face?" he asked, and she shrugged again.

"Aren't hot dogs made up of snouts or… faces?" she said, and Steve considered the clue.

"No, I know what it is. It's a penny," he said.

He joined Darcy as they rummaged through the shelves to find any money.

Darcy punched the air in triumph as she finally found the coin in the mouth of a stuffed lion. Under the lion's stomach was another card.

Darcy turned it over and read, "What has a neck but no head?"

Steve grabbed an empty beer bottle close to Darcy's hip. "Bottle."

"Jeez, you're good at this," she said, and Steve smiled, feeling a small burst of pride. If he managed to get this over with quickly he'd give her the prize and then they'd make their next reservation easily.

Inside the bottle was another piece of paper rolled up. Steve tipped the bottle and shook it, the paper falling to the floor. Darcy bent to pick it up and Steve saw down her dress and looked away, licking his lips. She unrolled the paper, and luckily she didn't seem to notice Steve's reaction to her cleavage.

He'd seen plenty of it before because she wore low cut sweaters occasionally, but he saw most of her bra in that moment. There was little left for the imagination and he scratched the back of his head, waiting for her to read the paper.

She turned the paper over several times. "What the hell? It's blank."

"No, that's…" Steve took it from her, and she crossed her arms.

"Gee. When I say something usually people take my word for it."

Steve realized his mistake; he'd not just listened to her, instead he wanted to make sure she knew what she was talking about. Natasha had pointed out he'd done that in the past. Now he'd done it with Darcy who was glaring at him like he'd questioned whether her IQ was over 100.

"Sorry, I –" he stared at the blank piece of paper, and then turned it over. "You're right. It just doesn't make sense. How do we know which clue to look for then if this is blank?"

Darcy looked at the array of objects that littered the room.

"Start turning everything upside down."

"We just trash the place?" Steve said, and Darcy stared him down.

"I don't see why not. We might improve the décor, actually. If we answer other riddles there might be –"

The song changed over to some other track that caused Darcy to groan. "Goddamn it. This is song will be stuck in my head for days."

"What is it?" Steve asked, lips quirking.

"More Katy Perry," Darcy said with a sigh. "Right, I'm flippin' shit."

They got to work, turning over knickknacks with messages under them, trying to find an order to them.

"I have two arms and a face – duh, clock," Darcy said, snatching a plastic black cat clock from the wall.

"That might have something to do with this one – I have nine but I am one. A cat," Steve said, lifting a rubber duck.

They worked together but it kept going in circles. Steve pinched the bridge of his nose at some point to try to anchor himself but he was growing more frustrated with each pass of a new song. He had some idea that they'd been at it for about an hour or more and Darcy was not happy.

"The clue in the bottle is obviously missing and Kevin or whoever else that works here didn't make sure it was there before we came," he muttered. "I'm tempted to complain."

"Oh, tempted?" Darcy repeated with a squawk in her tone. "I would have thought the serum gave you better brain power, not just throwing power."

"Hey! What the hell?" Steve said, feeling himself bristle. "This isn't my fault."

"Who doesn't check out the reviews to a sketchy place they've never been to? Sam just gets you a reservation and you don't double check if we might get ripped off?" Darcy snapped, incredulous. "I get that you're old but you have the technology now. So why not use information in the information age, I mean –?"

Darcy clutched at her chest, wincing. "Oh, shit."

She forgot her tirade and Steve watched her face go from fierce to afraid in a second.

"Darcy."

"I'm fine," she whispered. "I also lie when I'm panicking, though."

"You're having a panic attack?" Steve said, and she nodded.

"I don't do enclosed spaces."

"Why'd you get in an escape room with me?" he asked, and Darcy let out several shaky breaths, shrugging elaborately.

"I wanted to enjoy myself. I wanted to have fun with you. Fuck!"

She sank to the floor and Steve followed her, taking her hands in his. Her eyes were wide and she was struggling to get enough air like a fish struggling on dry land.

"Hey, hey, I'm here," he whispered. "I got you."

"I can't breathe."

Steve let go of her hands and marched over to the door, hammering his fist against it. There was no reply from anyone on the other side. The music kept playing above their heads like nothing was wrong.

"Kevin! Open up. We got a situation. Kevin!" Steve yelled, and he heard Darcy gasping behind him. "I'll rip the door off its hinges."

"He's serious, Kevin!" Darcy yelled, her eyes wide with fright.

There was some loud clicks and the door slid open, revealing Kevin staring blankly ahead. His eyes fell to Darcy on the floor.

"So you guys are forfeiting?"

"My wife's having a panic attack!" Steve snapped.

To his surprise, Darcy began to giggle. His eyes flitted over to her to see she was lying down and laughing weakly.

"I want a refund," he added. Kevin shook his head.

"We don't do that."

"Then I want alcohol or something. The clue was missing from the bottle."

Kevin finally became more animated, his eyebrows lifting slightly.

"Dude, I started my shift late. Raj was here before me. It's his fault."

"Who the fuck is Raj?" Darcy snapped, sitting up. She seemed to have recovered a little, still panting. "And who the fuck are you? Where are your parents? Where's the manager?"

Steve pressed his lips together to stop himself from smiling. She looked cute when she was angry.

"My wife's distressed, so…" he said to Kevin. "You could at least get her something to drink."

Kevin rolled his eyes and he turned his heel. Steve lagged behind, tugging Darcy to her feet.

"You okay?"

"I'm hungry." She said it in a small voice.

They joined Kevin back in the reception and he handed Darcy a bottle of something she squinted at in disgust.

"Kombucha? Are you serious?" Darcy said to Kevin, though she took the bottle anyway.

"We don't serve refined sugar here," Kevin said. Steve and Darcy exchanged a glance.

Steve refused to pay, and Kevin didn't fight with him about it. He was just glad to see them go, finally smiling as he said goodbye.

Darcy just scowled, shivering as they were back in the cold. She opened her bottle and sipped at it. She screwed her face up and spat on the ground. She lost it, letting out a growl as she threw the bottle into the street.

Steve just watched, seeing other people staring at them.

One couple walking arm in arm looked concerned but Steve forced a smile.

"My wife," he said, gesturing at Darcy with a thumb. "She's having a bad night."

The couple walked away, glancing at Darcy with concern over their shoulders. Darcy promptly screamed into the night like she was possessed and Steve waited, rubbing an ear pointedly.

She came back toward him, huffing. She was more composed. She patted her hair back into something neater.

She cleared her throat, looking up at Steve.

Her voice was only slightly strained. "So, you made a reservation somewhere?"