Candy Shop
Morton kicked open the door of the candy store, drooling like a maniac and breathing heavily.
"Hey, Morton! How's it going?" asked the owner of the shop.
"Where's my motherfuckin' candy?" he growled.
"Uh…what?"
Morton grabbed a chair and tossed it at the shop owner's head, then laughed wildly.
"What the fuck are you--"
Morton chucked a spiky shell at the koopa, knocking him into unconsciousness. Morton jumped over the counter and started shoving all the sugary sweetness and other goodness down his throat, barely chewing any of it at all. Morton started to rapidly hop up and down and run all over the store, kicking over anything he could find. He stopped running when he found this gigantic bag of powdered sugar and just poured it all in his mouth. Morton yelled,
"POUR SOME SUGAR ON MORTON!! HA HA!!!"
"Dude, what the fuck happened to Morton?" asked a koopa.
"We have to call Dad." concluded Roy.
"NO! No! Dad cannot find out that we drugged--"
"That YOU drugged--" added Lemmy.
"Shut up! You were there, you didn't stop me, so that makes you an accessory to murder!"
"What--When the fuck was someone murdered?" asked Roy.
"Sorry, I was up last night watching CSI so I know all about this murder and shit, but anyways THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!!"
"Let's look at the bright side in this: The Mario Bros. are dead and there's only been one casualty. That's-That's a plus right?"
Iggy sighed heavily.
"I guess you're right. I mean, it's not like Morton's gone crazy; he's just OD'd on this pill."
Morton was angrily chewing on a Monty mole's ear.
"MY EAR'S NOT A GODDAMN GUMMY BEAR!!!"
"Morton eats candy! EAR IS CANDY!!" said Morton.
The Monty mole screamed again when Morton was slowly ripping off his ear.
Bowser entered the wrecked diner.
"Hey kids, what the hell happened here? Looks like a tornado hit this place!"
All the kids gulped. Should Bowser find out that one of his son's had been drugged, he'd roast 'em all alive and possibly eat the remains.
"Uh…h-hey Dad. What're you doin' here?" asked Iggy.
"I was gonna get some rotten eggs but--"
"Iggy poisoned Morton Jr. with this red pill and now we're all in trouble cause he killed someone and now you know and now we're gonna experience some physical pain--shit! I just told you everything!"
"WHAT THE FUCK LEMMY!!" shouted Roy and Iggy.
"…I have no idea what Lemmy just said, but I get the feeling it ends with me inducing physical pain on you three. But since Morton is supposedly high, let's go find him first so I can kick the shit out of all of you."
"Thanks Lemmy." said Iggy.
"No problem."
Bowser and his sons entered a candy shop that was half destroyed and had two koopas whose heads had somehow been ripped off. Morton was standing in the center of the shop, ingesting several packets of gummy worms.
"MORTON!!" shouted Bowser.
"DAD!!"
"KERFLARGLE!!""
"Lemmy shut your goddamn mouth!"
"Okay…Morton, you need to calm down."
"YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!!!"
"Holy shit son! Your breath stinks!!"
"Side effect." added Iggy.
"Okay, just calm down and release all your problems Morton."
"Exactly! Release--problems--bathroom--shit!!"
Morton suddenly ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Bowser and his sons heard grotesque flatulence and disgusting pooping sounds coming from it.
"Side effect?" asked Bowser.
"Side effect." said Iggy.
Morton came out of the bathroom smiling widely. Then he grabbed a box of extremely hyperactive inducing chocolates from the floor and ripped open the package.
"No, no, no." said Bowser.
"YES! YES! YES!!!" growled Morton.
"Morton! Don't you dare--!"
Morton dumped all the chocolates in his mouth and he suddenly became hyper, his pupils now filling up his whole retinas. He started jolting and sputtering random one-syllable nonsense.
"Let's just calm down…" said Lemmy.
Morton started sputtering again.
"Just take it easy…"
Morton screamed wildly again and started running past his father and his brother.
"Morton! You gotta calm down!!!" shouted Lemmy.
"Shut up! It looks like Morton's headed for the bank!" said Bowser.
"Oh, God, who knows what kind of chaos he'll cause at the Koopa International Bank of Security?"