Demented Dream of A Hormonally Disturbed/Angsty Teen-age Boy
A/N: In this part, comedy (well, I did try...) will be asserted. There will be SasuxHina in this chapter, of course. Ü thanks for the awesome reviews... Damn, it got me pumped up that I wrote this immediately. This is slightly A/U and some weird OOCness from all characters.
Oh, and thanks to : M-dono for helping me out in some parts.
-X-X-
Wha? Where am I?, Sasuke thought, as he looked around his surroundings. Everything was urbanized, as if he was transported to a (alternate?) universe that he doesn't know of. Shit, where the fuck am I? He asked himself over and over, he sat up and scanned his surroundings.. No one was around. But buildings there were similar to those from Konaha, apart that these were color grey while Konoha's houses were pretty much appeasing to one's eye.
He looked down on himself Oh my god.. What the fuck am I wearing?! He though as he looked at his outfit with eyes, widened in disbelief and horror. He had a black t-shirt on, with a printed label of a huge modern pen, and a caption that stated 'mypenisbig'. It looked weird. For his lower half, he wore simple, acid stained jeans. Which he had no complaints. He saw Hinata, well, what seemed to be the vivid, skimpy out-fitted version of Hinata.
Whoa.. Hinata looks like.. he paused, giving it some time to sink in on his brain. Hinata looked so.. free. As if she lost her sense of shyness. Sasuke thought, as he imagined Hinata with only her undergarments on.
Damn my hormones.. Sasuke thought with a malicious smirk on his lips. He stood up, then followed who seemed to be Hinata, but terribly different from the Hinata he knew, since this Hinata that he was following had only a short, short denim mini shorts, and a beach bikini overlapped by a plain white polo, which made Sasuke drool and cover his nose before he looses too much blood. He noticed that there was a box that has glass on it. What the hell is that? He pointed, curiously watching the scene that was going on inside the box. "What the fuck." Sasuke said, while his jaw hung widely open.
He stared down at the box, with his eyes nearly pooping out of his skull. He didn't want to believe what he was seeing.
His former idol/mentor was dancing some weird psychopathic choreography involving complicated moves such as putting your hands on your amongst your hips, and acting like a rabid, zombie-like chicken thingy with technically no purpose of whatsoever to exist in this world.
Is it me, or was that Orochimaru dancing? Sasuke thought, trying to picture in his mind that the cruel, sadistic, psychopathic, twisted, evil and what not gay snake thingy is dancing some weird dance with who seems to be two more clones of him. The other one was bald, with slits as his nostrils (Voldemort?!) and the other one had straight hair, just like Orochimaru's, the only problem is that this one looked like a ghost.(Horaay for M.J.!) He stood in mental shock. Does Orochimaru have brothers that are snake snake retards too?! He thought grimly, thinking that all of them were snake-clad perverts.
Sasuke shivered at the thought. So he continued to walk away, but the idea of Orochimaru and the Snake Perverts can't stay out of his head. He was shocked when two white, pearl white, arms latched at him from behind, dragging him to a certain body, which apparently was female, since there was 2 soft cushions that pressed on his back.
"Hello Sasuke-kun!" she said with a merry tune imminent from her voice.
"Uh..hi?" Sasuke replied nervously, trying to fathom who this girl might be.
His struggles succeeded when he managed to unclasp the woman's arms from his waist. He nearly dropped his eyes and lost all of his blood because the blood won't stop falling from his nose. It was Hinata. She looked damn sexy in her outfit, plus the sweat that littered her curved, petite body.
Sasuke wasn't prepared for what happened next. Hinata jumped at him suddenly and kissed him on the lips. O H M Y G O D was the only words that lingered in Sasuke's mind. He caught Hinata, who was dripping in sweat. He accidentally held her butt, more like groping. She smiled at Sasuke who was blushing the same color that his nose was spewing out, blood.
"Uh, Sasuke-kun? You can stop grabbing my butt now.." Hinata said to him teasingly. So Sasuke did what he was told, since he was praising all the gods that needed to be praised for what just happened. For a long time, he had this teensy tiny crush on Hinata, since she was able to stand out in his eyes. Now, that crush developed into something more of a fetish/love thingy.
"So, where to on our date?" she asked sweetly, while she licked and sucked on her lollipop, which placed vivid images of despicable things that Sasuke and his hormonally disturbed/distracted/attracted/and-all-those-thingies-that-you'd-like-to-think-of-mind.
"D-d-d-d-d-date?" Sasuke stammered, and then popped his conscience. Sasuke! This is one up for you! A star for you my friend, for you have managed to take Hinata out on a date, and what's more is that when you look at what she's wearing right now, you could launch yourself to outer space with your nosebleed. His conscience commented, pulling out a notebook/checklist of things, which was entitled "Things That Sasuke/Me Have-To-Accomplish-Before-We-Die-And-Burn-In-Hell-For-Our-Sins." He flapped a few pages and produced a ballpen from his pocket, which he used to check:
1. See Hinata wearing a sexy outfit
2. Take her out on a date
3. Kiss on the first date
4. Grope her ass
The thought of everything happening so fast made Sasuke smile. Ero-kun, the oh so beloved and perversely active alter-ego that only exists in Sasuke's head, the other hand, was singing and dancing the Numa-Numa with utmost joy.
-X-X-
Hinata looked really sexy on her current outfit. Especially how her sweat makes her clothes cling to her skin. She passed her petite, doll-like fingers through her face, then her hair, since she looked messy but bewitching when her shoulder-length hair would stray to her god-like face. Sasuke was absently staring at Hinata, while Ero-kun salivated pails and pails of drool.
Sasuke was in deep thought. He was in too deep in thought that his mind failed to register that he has just been dragged by Hinata to a lingerie shop nearby. Sasuke snapped back to reality when his eyes rested on. It resembled a regular office uniform, but it was stripped of its seams. Sasuke nearly dropped his head from the rest of his body when Hinata grabbed the lingerie in question and went straight to the fitting room.
Inevitably, Ero-kun bested Sasuke with his very own reaction..
'And the infamous reaction of our beloved conscience, Ero-kun, would be:
Death by nosebleed… but for some miraculous reason, he lives!
"Dear God! Is this true?! If I'm dreaming please don't wake me up!" the erotica enduced portion of our hero's brain screamed to the heavens with hands clasped together and stars in his eyes. Yes, this is heaven… for a hormonally challenged young lad such as Uchiha Sasuke at least.'
Sasuke felt himself growing. Shit! Shit! Shit! What the hell am I supposed to do?! He thought, with panic imminent on his face. Although he was wearing pants, that wouldn't do. The bulge on his pants made him freeze in total fear and confusion. "Calm yourself down, Sasuke," Ero-kun said with a positive tune. Sasuke followed Ero-kun's advice immediately. He sat down the nearest bench that he saw, which was apparently AND coincidentally facing the dressing room doors. "Oh shit." Sasuke said. After he sat down, Hinata emerged from the fitting room. Sasuke nearly jumped out from his skin when he saw how hot and fuckable Hinata looked. She was barely even wearing anything! Sasuke nearly dropped/fainted/died/sworn-that-he-will-never-look-to-another-woman-again. As Hinata walked out of fitting room, swaying her hips flirtatiously, pursing her lips in a pouting manner. Oh you should have seen how cute she was! Fuckable and sexy, yes. But at the same time oh so adorable.
"Sasuke-kuuuun?" She speaks in that soft girly sing-song voice of hers.
He could have just died then and there! He wanted to reply (if he could that is), but apparently he was cut of when our petite heroine pulled him towards the fitting room making him fall over.
What the hell?! Was she always this strong?
This was what all he could think of, since most of his thoughts and sight was preoccupied with Hinata crawling on top of him with a flirtatious 'come hither' look.
Oh he could have just died then and there! But death can come another time. He was focusing on the fact that the Hyuuga was nipping his collarbone while one hand tried to unzip his pants, and the other crawling up his shirt.
-X-X-
The blonde former Sasuke fanatic who was designated to watch over the store saw two familiar figures entered one single fitting room. She quickly walked towards the fitting rooms and knocked at the door. "Hey! No hanky panky stuff in my store!" Ino said, fumes emerging from her nose and ears.
-X-X-
Sasuke was at total loss because of Hinata's sudden aggression, perverse actions that she has done. "Damn, she's so hot when she's the seme," Mumbled Ero-kun.
Most of you would think that this was an immature random thought brought up by a hormonally challenged—disturbed—attracted--whatever you'd like to call it, pathetic, lust driven teenage boy. But then again, you'd feel the same you if you were in his shoes, but in this case, his boxers.
You could just imagine how hard he felt right now, unless of course you were an innocent fourteen year-old school girl who hasn't had The Talk yet, and just happened to read this fic. But back to the point! He could've wet his pants then and there! But the fact that she skipped second base and headed straight for third did kind of piss him off…
Aw, screw it! Let the fucking begin!
-X-X-
So much for the 'down boy! Down!' plan a while ago..Ero-kun said to himself, with arms crossed and foot tapping the ground.
-X-X-
Well at least, not then and there.(Aww..) Ino was nearly chewing the door of its hinge just to get them out of the fitting room. "H-h-hinata... Maybe W-we... should continue this... somewhere else..." Sasuke suggested submissively, although he was quite turned on of the thought that they'd do it inside a fitting room with a rabid saleswoman, who was wearing curlers, banging the door open.
"Fine with me." Hinata stated, kissing Sasuke passionately. He kissed her back. She started peeling off the dress that she donned earlier.
"Are you going to get that?" Sasuke asked, still hysterically enticed by what Hinata just did.
"Uhm.. Yeah" she said with a weak smile on her lips. She was now totally naked, and was in front of a hormone-guided Uchiha. So she pulled up her panties, next her denim mini shorts, then she wore the white polo over her two-piece bikini.
Sasuke took the liberty of buying the said lingerie since he was interested to know what wonders it could do for the both of them that night. He took out his wallet, eyeing the picture (which was Hinata with a vveerryy sseexxyy pose) and nearly loosing all his remaining blood from another nose bleed attack. He handed the cashier the money, ignoring Ino who was talking to Hinata, probing her of what happened in the fitting room.
"Hinata-chan!" Sasuke said, waving at the hot, bikini-clad goddess that was talking to a curler-bound blonde. "We can leave now" he said, adding a bit of sarcasm on the last word.
Hinata rushed to Sasuke, jumping on him with open arms like the innocent girl she was. "Ne, Sasuke-kun, we go to my apartment!" Hinata said cheerfully, kissing Sasuke on the cheek as she nudged him to carry her on his back.
Sasuke sighed in protest but eventually gave in to Hinata's request. "Uhh..Where's your apartment again?" Sasuke asked nervously, as he carried Hinata on his back out of the store. Hinata told him where to turn. Sasuke was about to ask something when he felt Hinata rest her head to his back, which he then realized that she was sleeping. Maybe she's just tired. Sasuke thought, Ero-kun nodded in agreement.
-X-X-
"Hinata", Sasuke said slowly, admiring the said Hyuuga while she was fast asleep. He laid her down against the wall as to wake her up. Go! Sasuke, Go! Ero-kun cheered, wearing a black and blue cheering outfit with the Uchiha symbol neatly stitched at the center of the shirt, and with matching black and blue pom-poms. Sasuke neared his face to hers. Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Ero-kun chanted.
Sasuke was mere inches from Hinata. No, scrap that. A mere inch was separating their lips from planting on the other. Hinata opened her eyes, shocked by Sasuke's half-lidden ones. Sasuke was dumbfounded when he saw Hinata's pearl eyes open and stared at him, panic and shock painted all over her cute face.
END
A/N(again): I am so goddamn evil, and so is my associate. She was the one who decided to make it a cliffie, and so be it! Well, sorry for the strange resemblance from Bullwinkle's Lady's "Light". Specially the quote 'Damn, she's so hot when she's the seme'. Generally, I thank my partner M-dono for some parts. See you on the next update Ü XD
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