"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE A YEAR OFF OF SMELTINGS!!!? I'VE ALREADY PRE-PAID YOUR TUITION!!! THE YEARS YOU SPEND AT SMELTINGS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT YEARS OF YOUR LIFE!!! YOU CANNOT HAVE A GAP IN YOUR EDUCTAION!!!" screamed Vernon Dursley over the phone as he first heard the news that Dudley reluctantly told him.

"Look, Dad, I knew you wouldn't be happy when I told you, but the truth is, I don't care. This is something I have to do for myself. I've spent my whole life eating my feelings away, and when that didn't work, I would just beat people up until I felt better. I can't go on living this way. 'The Biggest Loser' can help me find who I really am, and I really need to lose weight. I'm not healthy."

"MY SON IS NOT A LOSER. I WILL HEAR NOTHING ELSE OF THIS NONSENSE!!! MAYBE YOUR MOTHER WILL BE ABLE TO PUT SOME SENSE INTO YOUR HEAD, BOY!" replied Vernon.

"Duddykins?" said Petunia as she picked up the phone. "You really don't need to lose weight. You're the handsomest boy I've ever seen. How about you just stay at Smeltings another year, and Daddy and I can buy you a nice, new car when you graduate?"

"Mommy, I know that you love me, but this is something I have to do. The show is going to pay for my plane ticket and everything, and since I'm eighteen, I don't need your consent. I just wanted to let you know. Bye, Mom."

"No, Duddy-Nuddy!! Don't go!!" bawled Petunia, but Dudley had already hung up the phone.

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Dudley slowly walked down the aisle of the plane. He had never flown before, and was feeling very nervous. Row 28, seat F. It looked so narrow.

He sucked in as much as he could, but he just couldn't make it into the seat. His rear end was hanging over the arm rests like two hefty holiday hams. He looked at the disgusted face of the girl who was seated next to him as he smashed her dainty frame against the window. He eventually gave up and called over the flight attendant.

"I'm sorry that the seats are not the proper size for your body-type, sir. If you like, you could buy another seat and put the arm rest up so you can fit."

"I'm so sorry to be such a burden. I promise, next time I come on a plane, I will only need one seat."

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"Oh dear. Oh deary me. My oh my. Oh deary. Oh my dear," said the little old lady sitting behind Dudley after he put his seat back. "Oh dear. I can't breath. Oh my dear. My oh my."

"I'm so sorry ma'am. I'll put my seat up right away," Dudley said quickly as he struggled with the lever.

"Oh dear. I think I'm having lung failure. Oh my."

SNAP!

"EEEEEEeeeeekkkkk! I'm stuck! Get me out of here!!! OH DEAR!!"

"I'm so sorry ma'am. I can't get the chair up! FLIGHT ATTENDANT! LITTLE OLD LADY DOWN!!! FLIGHT ATTENDANT!!!"

As soon as the flight attendant came to free little, old Beatrice from her prison of the reclining-chair, Dudley ran to the bathroom in shame. Well, he actually ran there because of all the bean burritos he ate before he got on the plane. But that's beside the point. It was a little hard for him to fit through the door, but persistance paid off and he was eventually able to squeeze into the bathroom.

But he couldn't squeeze out.

"FLIGHT ATTENDANT!!! SLIGHT PROBLEM!!!"

"Good God!" screamed an appalled flight attendant as she averted her eyes. "We're going to need some sort of pulley system to pull you out!"

Thirty minutes, and a few bruises later, Dudley Dursley was pulled out of the bathroom, and pulled his monstrously-sized pants up.

"I'm so sorry for all the times you had to help me today, miss."

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Meanwhile, back in England, the magical world was going on as normal…

"Sir, I think that Harry Potter has been messing with things that he shouldn't have, if you know what I mean."

"I've known for a while. I can feel my soul dying. But I'm not worried. I've hidden one of the horcruxes somewhere Harry will never find. It's been strategically placed overseas…

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Dudley Dursley was so happy when he got off the plane. For once, he didn't feel like the only fat kid in a world of skinny people. He was in America.

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a/n- hey guys! i hope u like my story…if you do, review, so i'll know whether or not to keep writing…and whether or not u like my story, u should go read my friend's story Ta Doulear. it's really good! it's a hermione-draco love story, with some unique plot twists, and it's pretty funny, and it has some good naughty scenes, if u kno what i mean. so go read it, you won't regret it. unlike how u probably regret reading my story.