A/N: Thanks for everyone who reviewed. It means a lot that you review. And thanks for all the praises, they really boost my ego!

"The quarrels of lovers are like summer storms. Everything is more beautiful when they have passed."

—Suzanne Necker center

He had become something akin to evil; no longer did he laugh and play with us. He tended to like sitting off by himself staring into space, reading a book, anything but joining us. He acted as if we didn't exist, he still does but I have memories of us, we hung out, we played; it's what brothers are suppose to do.

I remember the day when we stopped being just brothers and we became b half /b brothers. How could he not understand how it hurt that he treated me like a stranger? I, his own brother! So we have different mothers? His mother treated me just as I know my real mother would treat me.

I'm tried of hearing:

"Move it half wit." I had been blocking his way to the refrigerator.

"What the hell are you looking at?" I had been staring off into space.

"I hate you."

I was only thirteen, I cried. Father punished Sesshomaru when I explain what had happened; Sesshomaru was grounded for a week and had to apologize, I never did get that apology. I never understood why, I knew he was human; he had to realize it hurt!

I remember when I was eight and he nine, I had been sick and he sat in my room reading a book. I wake up from my fever induced nap to see my brother crying, he quickly left after realizing he had been crying. I've always wondered why he was in my room, why he was crying but apart of me, even now wanted to believe he was checking to make sure I was ok, I guess I'll always look up to my big brother.

I pulled away from her; I never spoke to her unless I had to. When she came over to visit Inuyasha I was never in sight, I never said hi when we walked pass each other in school. I couldn't bear what had happened to us only eight years ago; my heart's first and last heart break.

I made new friends; I hung out with only my friends. I alienated my brother and his friends. I know what I was doing to my brother was mean and childish, I know he couldn't control Kagome's feeling but I couldn't help blaming them both, Inuyasha a bit more than her I guess.

I still love her to some extent I guess but I couldn't face her, the humiliation was too unthinkable. I remember I cried every day for a week straight. I always wondered where we would be if I had never told her my feelings, I still think I should have kept my mouth shut.

It's been so long, too long. It's been eight years since I've had an actual conversation with Sesshomaru. I know what I did to him was cruel but I was eight! I know he was hurt but what was an eight year old suppose to do? I didn't understand love and I'm sure he didn't either.

After that day we rarely spoke, it filled me with an inexpressible sadness and I thought maybe I did like him and I had lost my chance but then he became a jerk, he always picked on Inuyasha and myself sometimes, maybe he was just hurt but I didn't understand how he could be so cruel to his own brother, he made me sick after a while. I couldn't stand to be near him for too long but there are moments when I'd look at him and all I'd feel was pity but not now.

"Leave him alone!" I yelled to Sesshomaru as I made my way down the street to our bus stop, he'd been picking on Inuyasha again.

"Kagome stay out of this!" Inuyasha yelled as I made my way over.

"Yes, it would due will if you listened to your boy friend," Sesshomaru always did that, whenever he was forced to talk to me he'd always tell me to go look for my boy friend, tell your boy friend to shut up, blah, blah, blah! I wish he understood!

"Oh, shut up, Sesshomaru!" I yelled and we stood in silence until the bus pulled up. Inuyasha and I got on but Sesshomaru went to his car and drove around the school bus. Ever since Sesshomaru got his license over the summer he was suppose to drive Inuyasha to school but he refused. As punishment his father had him make sure Inuyasha got on the bus. I guess to Mr. Taisho that was the same as Sesshomaru driving Inuyasha to school.

Inuyasha and I got off the bus when it reached school, we saw Sesshomaru and his friends outside talking, I kept watching until Sesshomaru looked over and noticed me, and he turned back to his conversation. Asshole!

I can't believe after eight years our friendships have been reduced to this. Inuyasha doesn't say anything but I can tell his brother's way of affection hurts his feelings but being Inuyasha he doesn't say anything and plays it off. Both brothers are idiots at times.

We kept walking until we had to separate to go to our lockers. I took some books out of my locker and was just about ready to close it when I heard my name. I turned to find Sesshomaru's friends looking at me, I raised an eye brow in a very Sesshomaru fashion; they laughed.

"Whatever," I mumbled, slamming my locker and breezed past them. This was what I didn't understand: He left use for them! We were friends first; I even thought when we got older we'd all live right next door, each with our own little families, cute babies who grew up together, went to school together; like us! But then he ditched us and things were never the same. Whenever we hung out with Inuyasha Sesshomaru would be off somewhere, and birthday parties were the most awkward things in the universe: To invite Sesshomaru or not to invite Sesshomaru?

Either way he never showed up, though on my birthday's I did get his gifts. He's never attended a party where I was at, unless he was forced, he's never said a word if I join his family for dinner, when I was younger I use to cry over it and then I'd remember i his /i golden eyes filled with hurt and tears. I thought many a times about asking him to hang out but the new him scared me half to death.

I remember the day he told me he loved me; I'll never forget the hurt in his eyes. He must have felt so horrible, I know that's how I felt when I told Inuyasha how I felt about him; he didn't feel the same. That's why it hurts a little when Sesshomaru calls me Inuyasha's girl friend; he knew how much I had wanted that to be true but what he doesn't know is I've been over Inuyasha for two years!

A crazy idea began to form in my head, maybe I should confront him? It's been about eight years so I guess there are things that we need to talk about, I just wish I hadn't waited eight years. This was going to be a very awkward conversation, at least for me.

For the rest of the day Kagome had her head in the clouds, searching for a way to talk to Sesshomaru; he was almost always with his friends and she really didn't feel up to his friends ease dropping. Then suddenly the bell to end school was ringing and she was walking out the front doors, she hadn't absorbed anything all day.

She waited outside by the steps for her friends to come out. After a minute she kept looking around wondering where they were when she saw Sesshomaru and another girl saying goodbye, he gave her a peck on the lips before she smiled and walked onto her bus. Something parallel to anger filled her from top to bottom, her face twisted viciously into a repulsive sneer for a moment before she realized what had happened and she tried to remain composed.

What was that feeling? That hurt that filled her without reason? Sesshomaru did not belong to her, he was free as she was free but that didn't stop the fast pace of her heart which increased more as he glanced her way. She held his gaze before he turned away, maybe this was her moment; he was alone and besides from the sick feeling in her chest the moment was right.

She stood and fast walked to his side, he was surprised. He gave her his usual eye brow raise and she ignored it completely. She stood there for a second not sure what to say.

"Need something?" he asked, he was playing with his bangs in an almost bored fashion, as if saying she could lose his attention any moment due to the fact that he may have spilt ends.

"Yes," she took a deep breath trying to calm her heart's nervousness. What the hell was this?

"I think I've put this off for too long, eight years to be exact," at this Sesshomaru began to get nervous, he began to fidget and soon his hands couldn't stay in one area for too long.

"I don't understand you, I never have. One minute we're playing red light green light the next you're confessing your love and to make it worst when I turn you down you treat your friends like crap. Did you know every time I saw you I felt terrible? Did you know I even cried because of the way you treated me, Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku?—" she was interrupted.

"You want to talk about pain, anger, feelings? Understand how I felt! I was nine and I was confessing my love for you! It took me weeks to figure out how to tell you, my mother helped me with what to say and how to say it but you didn't feel the same. I cried for a week, I missed school the next day because I couldn't stop crying! And you what hurt the most? You preferred my own brother, as if there was something wrong with me! I felt betrayed by you and my brother! You want to talk about pain and torment? Look back on the last eight years Kagome! I've had to live with eight years of night mares so you know what, fuck off!" and he stormed off towards his car leaving a teary Kagome behind and some fellow students who had watched on in mild interest.

Kagome ran onto her bus without waiting for her friends, she took her seat and when Inuyasha sat next to her she refused to look at him; he might have seen the glassy look in her eyes, the tears that threaten to spill like run off from a flood, and the small blush forming on her cheeks. When she got home she jumped off the bus and glanced briefly down the block looking for Sesshomaru's sleek black car; she didn't find it and kept walking.

Her tears came down when she was locked in the solitude of her bedroom. Did he really think she hadn't thought about his feelings in eight years? Was he so blinded by his hurt that he couldn't see that? She didn't know what to do with herself. The tears poured out, hot, salty and carrying a burden from eight years in the past, what was she expected to do?

She ran out of her room, out of the house and down the shrine steps and marched to the Taisho's house. She reached in time to see Sesshomaru drive up the drive way, he walked over to the passenger side and that girl he was kissing at school stepped out ever so gracefully.

What has he done to me! Kagome thought as the burning in her chest came back. They walked into the house and Sesshomaru pretended not to notice her standing on his porch, the girl with him stared at her as if asking her silently if she was joining them.

It never occurred to Kagome that Sesshomaru might not be a virgin; you could say she thought because of his feelings for her he'd save himself or something like that plus he rarely had a girl friend. He was not the play boy type, though he did look it, he was just selective she guessed. She walked in and went straight to Inuyasha's room, hopefully Kikyou wasn't over. Though Kagome and her cousin were friends today she didn't want to be a third wheel.

How dare her! He thought as he kissed Samantha, a girl from his grade. She was nice enough, smart as hell and she was definitely cute. Her curly blond hair always neat, her nails always manicured, longest legs, she was a pretty good kisser too. His thoughts drifted back to Kagome, the first actual conversation they had was a fight, his heart hurt to think about it.

The kiss became harder, almost desperate. His hands roamed, hers did too; this was going to be the moment. He was about to be a virgin no more, it wasn't that he was in love with Sam but more of the fact that he couldn't go to college a virgin. He hated his silence when the guys talked about their encounters, hated how he wanted his first time to be with Kagome, he also really hated thinking about Kagome!

Sam's hands reached to lift his shirt; his muscles bulged and tensed at her touch. He paused for a moment, was that a good thing? His hands slid into her shirt and he rubbed her stomach with his thumbs, she straddled his legs and lifted her shirt over her head. He began to kiss her stomach and flipped her onto his bed, as he stood her admired her body.

Sex, that word was a way to show someone your feelings for them whether it is frustration or love. He didn't feel either emotion for Samantha at the moment. He walked to the side of the bed and picked up his shirt, stuffing it over his head he made his way to the door.

"I should get you home, it's almost six," she stared at him in silent question. Then as if this kind of thing happened to her everyday she began to get dressed. As she slid on her wedged sandals he left to wait for her by his car. He was met with Kagome down the hall, perhaps she had heard? A part of him wishes she had heard the moans, the squeaks in the bed, the shifting of clothes; Just to hurt her.

"Get the fuck out," he said as he made his way down the stairs, she followed him.

"Oh fuck you Sesshomaru! I'm tried of being sorry! Don't give a shit if you believe I'm sorry, it's not like I have a time machine because if I did we'd still be friends! If anything it's your entire fault this happened!" she yelled as they reached outside.

"Really, It's my fault you were a bitch at eight and still are?" he swiveled and faced her; her face was filled with sadness and rage.

"It's your fault because you're the fucking idiot that fell in love at nine! You chose not to talk to me, not the other way around."

"Don't pin this shit on me! You're the one who loved my brother; do you know how I felt? I wanted to die! I just couldn't understand why you didn't love me, why Inuyasha when we were practically the same person?" and he felt his tears fall, after eight years of holding them in they broke free.

"You don't seem to realize I was eight years old. I didn't know what I wanted, I still don't and won't for a long time."

"Then nothings changed; I still love you, you probably don't even like me and there's all these things left unsaid,"

"Then why not say them for once!" she was getting tried of not talking to him, being afraid to look at him, walk next to him; life was too short.

"Fine!" he walked over to his car and got in, he put his head through the window and yelled for her to get in, she did without question.

Samantha opened the front door just in time to see them reverse down the drive way and down the street. She cursed and slammed the door on her way out, took out her cell phone and waited as it rang.

"Hey mom, can you pick me up?"

An: It was hard to write this chapter. I hope you like it. In this chapter I got into some people's heads, something I won't do too often. I wanted to get in some feelings of the other characters, what do you guys think? I don't like this chapter too much. Oh, I'm not going to make any girl Sesshomaru sees into a total slut because I don't think Sesshomaru, high and mighty would want a girl like that nor would he tolerate her in his presence. That's what I don't get about most stories, they make other girls except Kagome stupid and weak and women aren't like that, at least not the ones that I know.

Please review!