July, 2006

It was mid-July, hot and breezy. South Park wasn't exactly a beach destination but the summer weather had kissed the town and left its mark in the air. I walked between Kenny and Kyle and Cartman trailed behind, acting as if none of it was his idea.

We were on our way to Token's house whose family had recently installed an outdoor pool feature. He'd been kind enough to invite us all round as well as a bunch of other people for the night to test it out, perhaps we were supposed to keep it a secret from Cartman but even we felt bad excluding him from a night at Token's house; it was too fun. If a party was thrown by Token, everyone would be there.

"Did you remember your goggles?" Kyle asked me.

"Dude… I'm not wearing goggles at a pool party." Kenny heaved in laughter beside me, I'm sure my face looked a treat.

"Alright, but don't blame me if you get pool water in your eyes" he said.

"I did forget my towel actually." Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Stan."

The sunset looked like an abstract painting of yellow, orange and cream, and the only sounds of the evening were the chirping of birds and four pairs of footsteps against concrete, and the two behind us of course. The evening was still, but highly animated. Looking back, I remember feeling something was going to happen that night.

I observed Kenny from the corner of my eye in silence, waiting for him to deviate. Once he drifted behind us and began tormenting Cartman, I leaned in closer to Kyle and cleared my throat. "Do you think Wendy will be there?" I asked below my breath. Kyle gave me a sad smile.

"I don't know" he said "she might be."

"That's not helpful."

"What do you want me to say? You two broke up two months ago, you need to start being in the same room with her without feeling awkward about it."

"It's hard…"

"Wendy's nice, she wouldn't be mad at you. There's no reason you two couldn't be friends."

"Yeah, I guess so." I hated how he was always right; always a voice of reason.

Token's house soon came into view, large and grand. The gate was open for visitors and we made our way up to the door where Token invited us in himself. He fistbumped the first three of us and grimaced at Cartman before begrudgingly inviting him inside as well.

There were a few people loitering in the kitchen, filling paper cups with alcohol and mingling with one another. I recognised most of the faces.

Kenny and Cartman bounded towards the food stand and began eating their weight in cheesy poofs and cocktail sausages. "Anything to drink?" Token asked us "Free access to the liquor cabinet for you this evening." I felt my mouth go wet and my fingertips twitch ever so slightly. What an offer I thought, and I wouldn't be modest.

"Whiskey-coke?" I asked. I felt Kyle's eyes settle on me.

"Coming up. Kyle?"

"No thanks… Oh I mean, what the hell, I'll have the same."

Token smiled and disappeared to fetch our drinks. We both took our bags into the lounge and changed into our swimming trunks while we waited.

"You don't usually drink" I remarked "don't you have temple tomorrow?"

"I'll go to the afternoon service. As long I go that's all my mom cares about" Kyle said as he pulled his shirt over his head. I watched him quietly from the corner of my eye. His abs screamed basketball but his arms whispered math homework.

The two of us made our way outside to the pool where Token passed us our drinks. The pool itself was outside but covered with a large glass structure that kept the heat in, kind of like a greenhouse. Everything was sparkling and new, the sound of our classmates splashing and laughing echoed against the glass. There were various cups strewn across the poolside and the pool lights were purple, casting a warm glow on everyone's faces.

"Looks good" Kyle said "Want to swim?"

I sat down at the end and dangled my legs in the water before scanning the pool. Kyle joined me and began conversation with Butters beside us. I noticed Wendy at the far end of the pool, Bebe was on her shoulders and the two were laughing. She probably hadn't noticed me, or maybe she didn't care. I took a long sip of my whiskey-coke and tried my hardest not to stare at her.

I didn't still have feelings for her, I think. We both broke up together, but still, there was never a real reason I stopped loving her. Maybe I thought I owed her something.

"Do you wanna play?" Kyle broke my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"With Wendy and Bebe. They look like they need two opponents."

"Kyle…"

"You're never gonna resolve this tension unless you face it. Staring at her like a weirdo from across the pool isn't going to help either." I shot him a dirty look. There was a faint smirk on his lips. Nevertheless, he was right.

The two of us bobbed over towards Wendy and Bebe and the group of surrounding girls. It felt strange, like we were intruding or something. "Hey girls, mind if we join?" Kyle asked suavely. A few of them giggled. "Sure" Bebe said as she eyed Kyle up and down from Wendy's shoulders.

"Shoulder wars?" Kyle asked.

"Yes."

"Ok, Stan lift me up."

"Huh?"

I hadn't realised I'd been letting him do all the talking and floating conspicuously behind him. Hiding more like.

I bobbed underwater to let him mount my shoulders. He wrapped one leg over at a time and shuffled forward until his thighs were either side of my head, brushing my cheeks softly. I held onto his ankles and quietly avoided Wendy staring at me. I could've gone on top and wrestled Bebe instead, but I knew Kyle wouldn't be able to take my weight for that long.

I finally returned Wendy's gaze at one point and she smiled at me, it was almost as if a knot in my stomach had untied itself. "You look good" she said quietly.

"Oh uh.. Thank you, so do you…" My voice trailed off like a wimp. She giggled.

"Hey Stan, there's no bad blood between us, is there?"

"No, I mean, I hope not?"

"You've been avoiding me. I thought maybe there was."

"No Wendy not at all, I'm just an idiot. Kyle's been telling me to talk to you for ages." She raised her eyebrow coyly. "You should listen to him."

"I know."

Just as I thought a conversation started rolling, Bebe splashed my face with her foot and interjected. "This is very touching and all but I'm ready to beat you boys."

"Stan can hold me up for hours" Kyle said.

"We'll see about that. Wait until I get my hands on you." Bebe's tone had a hint of fervour, she was flirting. Had Kyle flirt back with her, it could've made things a lot more awkward with Wendy.

We spent the next few hours wrestling the two girls, taking breaks to refill our drinks and dry off in the house where a gathering of people were dancing around in shorts and bikinis. I found myself loosening up around Wendy, Kyle's gentle reassurance helping me. He appeased Bebe as long as he could before she started snaking her hands around his bare shoulders and taking long unbroken gazes at his ass. I couldn't tell if he mind or not, but also I couldn't help but get in between them too, maybe because I didn't want to be left alone with Wendy, or perhaps because I didn't want Bebe to take Kyle away.

"Looks like you need to go home" Wendy chuckled and tore Bebe away from Kyle's arm. The prosecco had suddenly hit her like a rock. We said goodbye to the two and Wendy smiled warmly at me before she left.

"What did I tell you?" Kyle grinned, the grin he had when he knew he was right.

"I get it, fine. You sure you don't want to catch a ride with Bebe?" I nudged him.

"Uh, no, I'll pass."

I checked the time, it was about midnight. Cartman had crashed out somewhere in the lounge and Kenny was entertaining a group of people in the kitchen. I thought they might've been smoking something funny actually…

"One more dip in the pool before we go?" I asked. He smiled in agreement and we chased each other outside once again.

The pool was empty, everyone had either gone inside or gone home. We ran like wild animals when the cold Colorado air nipped our skin until finally we were in the safety of the warm, steamy glass house. Kyle jumped in first and let out a long sigh of content before I jumped in after him. We floated around one another on our backs for a while, staring up at the black sky above us, clouds of purple steam. I remember feeling at that moment like something was unsaid, but I couldn't make out if it was me or Kyle that needed to say it first.

"Bebe seems to really like you" I said.

"I know."

"You could've got with her."

"I guess so."

"Then why didn't you? I wouldn't mind if you'd went off. You haven't got your dick wet in… Well, a long time I think."

"Jeez, well thank you for giving me your approval to get laid, I really appreciate that. It's definitely wet now." The playful sarcasm made me chuckle.

"Sorry dude, you know what I meant."

"She's not my type."

"What is?"

Kyle stayed silent for a moment, perhaps in thought.

"Strong" he said finally. I felt myself frown and listened to the gentle slosh of the water and the drips from the condensation on the glass above us before questioning him.

"Strong?" I echoed.

"Yeah, like Wendy."

"Oh I- wait a minute!"

I splashed Kyle with my foot and he erupted into laughter before splashing me back. Before we knew it we were wrestling with each other, trying to push one another under water for long enough. Kyle, knowing he wasn't going to win, wrapped himself around my back and held on for dear life while I thrashed side to side in attempt to launch him off.

"I'm joking" he said almost in a whisper when I stopped to breath. I felt his nose brush the back of my neck, his breath fanned out against it and his hands were holding on tightly to my shoulders; his legs tied around my waist. In this moment I felt awfully aware of how close we were and how different it felt. We did this stuff all the time, why did it feel seedy? I thought to myself.

"Better be" I flipped him over in front of me and a few second later he bopped back to the surface, only the top half of his face staring at me above the water. His wet hair fell over his eyes; eyes that looked piercingly green all of a sudden. I stared back at him, unmoved. "My eyes hurt" I said.

"Should've listened to me about the goggles. See, that's the second time I've been right today" Kyle rolled his eyes and tutted at me as he spoke, a small smile hidden in the corner of his lips.

"I'd splash you if I had any energy to."

Kyle swam towards me, almost too close, he eyed me like how a hawk eyes a fish.

"Do you still have feelings for Wendy?" He asked.

"No, why?"

"I was almost certain you two were gonna end up going home together."

"What makes you think that?"

"You've got that look on your face, like how you did when you two were together."

"What look?"

"I don't know… It's like a far off look in your eyes, like you're thinking about someone."

I frowned at him, I couldn't think of anything I'd done tonight that was out of character. "Have you been staring at my face?" I chuckled.

"No... I mean, a bit, yeah" Kyle's voice went an octave lower and he sunk a little deeper into the pool.

"Can I admit something?" Kyle broke the silence "I probably won't be able to be this honest again without a little help from the whiskey." I swallowed a lump in my throat and wondered why he was making me so damn nervous all of a sudden.

"Sure" I said.

"Well, I'm glad you and Wendy broke up."

"What?"

"I don't mean it in a bad way, I was just a bit jealous is all…"

Jealous? I thought.

"We've only got one more year of high school left after this summer. I was worried if you and her stayed together that you'd go to the same college, move in together, get married or something, and you'd forget about me."

His eyes were hooded and he wasn't looking at me anymore, he looked completely forlorn and I could feel those knots in my chest tie up again. Suddenly, there was a deep sadness between us. I never thought we were drifting apart, but I never thought of the future either. A future without Kyle was unthinkable.

"You're my super best friend, I wouldn't do that to you" I told him; he cracked a grin.

"Ew don't say that…" His cheeks turned pink.

"I know, I shouldn't of said that, blame the whiskey" I swam around to face him. "I mean it though, I don't think I could ever forget you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Even if I had a wife and kids, they'd have to accept that you're apart of the family too."

"Dude."

"I'm going to the same college as you anyway, that's always been the plan."

"No offence Stan but I'm gonna be applying for ones that are… you know, smart."

"I'm smart!"

"No, you're an idiot, you said so yourself."

"That was-" Kyle splashed me again and giggled, water hitting my face every time I tried to speak.

I grabbed his wrists before he could splash me again. "I'm stronger than you though" I said, our faces only inches apart. Our knees bumped each other underwater and I could feel his breath on my face. We were so close it was almost wrong.

"I know" Kyle finally said. His voice was lower, enticing almost. "You're very strong…" His eyes were fixed on me now, they captivated me. I felt my cheeks heat up but blamed it on the steam and the whiskey; made a mental note not to drink and swim. We stayed in this position for a long time, not breaking eye contact. I felt enchanted, that would be the best way to describe it. Whatever it was, Kyle didn't feel like my best friend anymore.

It was inevitable really, he leaned forward first, tempting, safeguarding himself. My hands released their grip on his wrists and I found myself holding onto his waist, pulling him closer. He wrapped his arms around my neck and closed his eyes, it was safe. I closed the distance between us and we kissed. It was slow, tender and fleeting. When I pulled away, his eyes were sparkling, his lips were parted. I remember thinking for the first time how stunning he was, like a renaissance painting. We dived back in for another kiss, this time more ferocious, heated like we needed it. He wrapped his legs around my waist and I drifted towards the edge of the pool until his back was against it.

It felt so right and wrong at the same time, like I'd been waiting for it my whole life but never allowed myself to seize it. The thought of someone seeing or how wrinkly my skin had become from the water vanished into thin air, there was only Kyle; Kyle, in bright red passion, illuminated by the pinky pool lights and deeply set emerald eyes. I wanted him, in that moment I wanted him so bad; more than I've ever wanted anything.

"Are we making out?" He whispered, a little out of breath. So much for being smart I thought, but I felt a little disjointed myself. Was this really happening? Was it just a dream? The tightness in my shorts was telling me otherwise.

"I think so?" I whispered back. I couldn't believe it myself, I was making out with my best friend, what in the world was happening?! Did this mean something? I couldn't ask those questions with Kyle's body pressed against mine, so I kissed him again, I kissed him until our lips were swollen. I could've continued forever but eventually Kyle told me he was getting cold, and so was I. Our fingers looked like pink raisins.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" I asked as he climbed out of the pool. I didn't know what else to say, I was in mild shock, but I could tell Kyle had become shy all of a sudden, embarrassed about something.

"No, it's ok I'll uh… I'm fine" he shuffled around awkwardly with hands in front of his groin.

"Dude, do you have a boner?" I couldn't help but smile as Kyle's cheeks turned even darker.

"No!" He looked away in embarrassment "it's just the cold."

I wondered briefly what I'd do if it went further. Kyle's my best friend, and he's a guy, would it be ok? What would it be exactly? Why was I thinking about him like that? This was strange.

"Kyle."

"Yeah?"

"That was…"

"We don't have to talk about it, it never happened it's fine."

"Kyle, it was… nice." He looked surprised; I felt my face heat up again.

"Nice?"

"Yeah I mean… really nice" I swallowed "I liked it."

Kyle looked to the floor and drew circles in the stone with his feet. "We could do it again… if you like."

My heart skipped a beat as he scuttled out of the pool and back into Token's house. I stayed in the pool for a short while afterwards, swimming in circles aimlessly. I couldn't think of anything else but him and what happened. I hoped, with every tingle in my body, that it would happen again.