Disclaimer: Oops I forgot this on the first chapter...well it's obvious that I'm not Mrs. Meyer.

A/N: Read, Review, and Enjoy.

I hope you guys like this story if you think it sucks, let me know and it'll be a click away from deletion.

Last Chapter:"Good morning Kari."

"Good morning Edward." I smiled. He drove swiftly off of my property to Forks high school.

Chapter Two

Looking Back

"Kari, you look great." Edward smiled crookedly at me and I chuckled. Edward often told me how great looking I was. It didn't really mean much to me. I really just wanted him to tell me that he loved me. I knew he wouldn't, because I made him promise to never lie to me.

I never knew what made him attracted to me. I knew I was good looking, but I was nothing like Bella. I didn't have that hidden beauty she had. I was beautiful in an obvious way, a way I didn't think Edward would have liked. I hated that about myself. I hated that I looked like teen royalty and I hated that everyone wanted to treat me like it.

I remembered when I first moved to Forks. When I was in Malibu it wasn't so hard to blend in with all of the other perfect teens, but here I might as well had a huge sign on me that said 'I'm new! Talk to me! Look at me! Ms. Center of Attention!' I hated moving to this town. I hated that my mom made me give up my kitty, DecayDance. She was my only true friend, until I met the Cullens. Alice was the one who came up to me. She hugged me. I looked at her and she was beautiful and nice. She seemed like we could actually be good friends, like she'd be honest. I knew that I could trust her, but I also knew something wasn't just right with her. Truth is they saved me. I was going to kill myself, but Alice and Jasper came to me before I could. They explained everything to me. I never doubted them once.

Alice told me that Edward and I would be together. It seemed impossible at that time. Every moment he saw me, his eyes would turn black and he'd clench his fists. I'd never seen anyone look at me with such hatred. It was as if I'd killed the love of his life. It was as if seeing me was killing him. Alice would invite me over and I'd refuse. She had to drag me there, literally. Carlisle and Esme were so nice and loving. I often wished they were my parents. The first time Edward saw me there he looked at Alice as if she was killing him. He stared me down and then ran out of the house faster than anyone I'd ever seen. I started crying right there. I couldn't believe it. I was in a house full of vampires and the one that Alice had told me would love me hated me. I never knew what it felt like to be loved and I didn't like someone trying to promise it to me, when it would never happen. I ran out of the house as fast as my puny legs could take me and I ended up running into him.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to follow you. I'll go." I turned on my heel, but one of his hands caught my arm and spun me to face him.

"You smell like her and I can't hear your thoughts, just like her." I didn't know who Bella was at that time. I wish I never knew who she was, no, I wish she didn't die. I could have easily gotten away with suicide. My parents would have turned it into some great press. No one would have cared. I sighed at that thought.

"I'm terribly sorry, really, I wish I didn't smell, or that I wasn't around to smell. I wouldn't have come if Alice wouldn't have forced me."

"Don't be. You are exactly like her, but exactly different. I fear this is a waste of time. I don't care what Alice says, I can't love anyone, but Bella and I can't betray her memory."

"Oh." It was inadequate, but it was all that I could say at the time. He turned to look at me.

"You're very beautiful and you're very sad."

"Can you read emotions too?"

"No, just faces and minds."

"And you can't hear mine?"

"No. I couldn't hear Bella's either."

"I remind you of her."

"Yes and no. Bella didn't look or act at all like you do."

"Oh." There was my inadequacy again.

"Then again maybe you do act like her." He tilted his head to the side and smiled a crooked smile. That smile made me weak in the knee's even to this day. My heart rate increased and I was trying my best to calm it down. He looked at me with his eyes under his lashes, my heart rate doubled. He took a step closer to me and brushed his hand from my temple to my chin. I was surprised my heart didn't leap out of my shirt. He moved his face centimeters from mine and was about to brush his perfect lips to my pink ones, but he pulled back abruptly.

"This is wrong. I'm sorry. Let me take you home." I nodded. I was disappointed to say the least. I wanted him more than anything. The way he looked at me, like he loved me, like he wanted me, like he cared.

He drove up to my house.

"Money's not an issue then." He said approaching my gate.

"Money's never been an issue." I sighed at that truthful fact.

"You don't like having it."

"I don't like the way they spend it. I don't like the way you get treated when you have it. Like just because I could afford my own car I'm something special, or just because we can afford a maid we should have one. When we're all perfectly capable of washing the dishes we don't eat on and washing the clothes we never wear twice."

"There's more to you than meets the eye."

"Hah. I'm no saint. Trust me I've gotten into my share of trouble it just doesn't do anything, it doesn't change them. I know better though. I know that they won't change because of me. I know I can't make them do anything." I sighed again and looked down at my feet.

"You care too much?"

"They don't care enough. Why am I telling you this? You don't care either." I put my hand over his mouth to silence him before he spoke, "You can't be upset over losing something you never had." I threw on a weak smile and walked up to my house and entered the security code. I went inside and couldn't sleep the whole night.

I walked in every room and walked out of every room. I paced my room endlessly. I tried to read books or listen to music, but I couldn't focus. I felt like I was missing something, like something wasn't right. I couldn't put my finger on it. I didn't leave anything at the Cullens or drop anything in the woods. What was going on with me!? I changed into my bathing suit and decided I'd go into the hot tub.

I sat in my indoor hot tub and soaked in the warmth. It was nice to be in warm water, to be in a bathing suit again. I closed my eyes and I could see Edward's face again. The face of when he was going to kiss me, the same expression when I told him not to speak. Could he love me like Alice had seen? I opened my eyes and there he was.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked.

"Nope and I'm guessing you couldn't either." I chuckled. He chuckled too and shook his head no.

"I could try to put the past away."

"I could try to be more like her." I whispered.

"No. I wouldn't want you to change anything about you. You're wonderful in every way. Any guy would be lucky to have you, really."

"Don't say things you don't mean."

"I don't."

"You'll never lie to me?"

"Never."

"Even if I need you too?" He thought for a moment and then shook his head no.

Emmett tapped my window awakening me from my memories.