Hey. I have returned. Okay so to give you all a fair warning this chapter will be SUPER angsty. And will contain blood and gore, and both psychical and psychological abuse. So in case you are curious the main character here is Reita. I've been really neglectful to his true feelings and how deeply scared he is. I've pretended like all he's been through never even happened. I know for those of you who have read Unlocked Secrets may have given you an idea but let me tell you, it's alot worse. This may or may not contain SPOILERS for UD( look up nekocandy4life).

Pairings: Light Reita x Mino, One-sided Reita x An

Summary: Reflection on the life of Onodera Reita.

Rating: M

Caution: Once again this will be very bloody and very depressing. Those with weak stomachs and fragile emotions should turn away now.

Page Break.

Life without suffering isn't life at all. Pain and sorrow is what shaped this creature to what he is now. The great cycle of blood and tears scared so deep that even death offered no release. Though the victim of it all can not bring himself to such measures, not of fear of what lies ahead but of his desire to find some crimson thread to pull him out this eternal darkness.

-TwinkleOfStars

Page Break.

"Did...Did I do this?", A boy no older than maybe eight or nine looked at his tiny hands in horror. Crimson covered pale skin and soaked into the boys clothes. He had no idea what just happened. A couple minutes ago he was just playing tag with this stray kitten he found next thing he knew three of his cousins started to shove him around and he ended up being beaten with several bats mainly on his head. The boy blacked out as the next swing came towards him, the only thing he heard after that was screaming and splattering.

And then he gained control of his body again and was more aware of his surroundings. He looked down in horror at the bodies that now lied there motionless. Intestines spread across the grass along severed limbs, eyes that had once belonged to young skulls, and a river of blood that blended with the green beneath them.

The culprit quickly abandoned the scene, running home and straight into the bathroom. He looked into the mirror and gasped. He expected to see tears and guilt flooding in pools of green. Instead his eyes were empty and lifeless, no trace of guilt whatsoever. Every inch of him was covered in blood and torn up flesh. But the most shocking thing was the toothy smirk that didn't leave his face.

He tried to get rid of the twisted smile by pulling the corner of his lips down but his mouth kept quivering back up. Giving up, the brunette stripped himself and stepped into the shower. Getting all that blood off him would take a while but he couldn't exactly go around reeking of it now could he.

About an hour later, the young male exited the steamy tub. He wiped the mirror and felt his heart sink at the terrifying smile that still rested on his face, he wanted to cry. But somehow he couldn't.

After dressing in fresh clothes he slithered into his room, his body froze at the sudden weight that tackled him. "Nii-san!", It was none other than his than his precious ball of sunshine. The much brighter version of himself, his little Rittie. Emerald orbs filled with childish joy and warmth, completely opposite to his, looked up at him with nothing but love. Oh, he was so undeserving of any emotion thrown towards him. Even hatred. Though that's all he's gotten since he was brought into this disgusting world. But that one emotion, the one that was the center of everything peaceful, the twin was the most undeserving of.

Yet he felt that same emotion for the child embracing him at this very moment, and for what ever insane reason those feelings were returned right back at him. "Nii-nii?", The boy's worried voice snapped him awake and luckily the crooked grin that he thought wouldn't leave his face. The moment he stared back into his brother's identical orbs which were still shimmering with affection, though a bit sad now, he began to cry. He knew it would only frighten him more but he couldn't help it. Tears soaked his face and he buried his face into the younger boy's shoulder.

Odd as it was, he felt somewhat relieved. He thought he lost the ability to cry after dealing with the insanity that was his life. "Nii-san, don't cry! What's wrong?", his twin rubbed his back soothingly and whispered sweet words to calm the older boy. Why? Why was this boy so sweet? Why did he even give a damn about a monster like him?

Why was a monster like him even capable of love? He loved this boy so much and would do anything to keep him safe. Though even he had to admit his love was extremely twisted. Whenever Rittie got along with other people he instantly got jealous and wanted to take him away from any other human being that came close to his twin. But he couldn't, he couldn't bring his sunshine down with him into the darkness. So he let the boy communicate with others, including a cute girl that was the daughter of another rich family. Quite honestly, he had developed a light crush on her but of course the universe was too cruel to allow him any chance at happiness. The girl's parents arranged a marriage with her and his twin. And she fell for him not to long after meeting them.

At times he was confused who he was truly jealous of. On one hand his romantic interest gained feelings for someone else, on the other someone was constantly clinging to HIS twin and following him around. When it came down to it though, his jealously for Ritsu far surpassed overall. The girl was terrified of him anyways(as she should be). Yes his love was twisted indeed.

Unable to escape this cycle the little boy turned into a viscous animal.

Page Break.

"Where...am I?", I ask to no one. It was dark and I couldn't see anything.

Suddenly a image appeared in front of me, it was blurry at first but I eventually made out the scene. I gasped at what I saw.

"Please no more..", It was me when I was locked up in that place those bastards sent me. I try to look away as I screamed from the never ending torment those "doctors" put me through. But then I am strapped to a table and people in white coats are hovering over me. Sharp weapons are drilled into my skin. Opening every inch of me and playing with my insides.

Next I was watching myself murdering someone, I was laughing and enjoying every second of their screams. They told me that some day I would pay for my sins and attack the wrong person. This pissed me off and I just made an insane face, listening to them rant. Once I had enough I continued to stab them and enjoy all the blood that got on me.

I shut my eyes. No! That isn't me! Not anymore!

Are you sure?

No. That voice.

Yes. Psychotic laughter echoed in the darkness

I turn and see someone in a white kimono, tiny droplets of blood soaking the bottom half. Bandages were wrapped around their head revealing only a dilated green eye.

Terrified I back up,"No! Stay back!"

It laughs. Why are you so afraid? It's only me, well you.

"You aren't me! You're just a demon!"

Wow. Rittie really brain washed you. I've been you even before you were born.

"Shut up!"

Another image showed and this time Rittie was with me. I gasped as I watched myself choke my brother and ignore his desperate pleas for me to stop.

There's your solution right there. To keep him forever. Isn't that what you want? What we want?

"No...No, I'd never..."

Of course we would. After all, we're one fucked up possessive psychopath.

What is the true nature of this tormented creature? The sweet and childish character we love? Or the vial, psychotic beast that is capable of nothing but spreading blood and anguish, the one we despise?

How can we know this when the being himself is uncertain?

Another images flashes in front of me. I'm chained up in a light less room, my hair was a mess and I was completely dirty. Dried blood and other substances that no one could tell with how old they were.

I look away only to see another. Suddenly I'm no longer in darkness but in a empty building. I step in something sticky, there's a trail and I follow it. I see a figure hovering over motionless bodies. They turn and smile in a way that would make the joker run for the hills. Lighting flashes, it's me.

"Oh? Do you want to sleep too?", He (well I)laughs. I back up, no. "It's okay, I'll put you to sleep real fast.", He raises his axe with a wide smile,"Sleeep~ Just like EVERYONE!"

I thrash around and scream. Trying to escape. Until someone shook me,"Nii-san! Nii-san!", strong arms embrace me,"It's okay, it's okay!" Once I realize who was hugging me I calmed down. Hugging back, I cry hard into their chest. "Rittie...Rittie...", I whimper

He strokes my hair,"It's okay, big brother. It was only a dream."

My stomach bubbles up and right away I dash across the apartment, throwing up my guts into the toilet. I feel Rittie's hand rub my back. "Easy, easy."

Vomit soon turned into blood, I began to wheeze and cough. I hear sniffling behind me. Great job, asshole. You're scaring your baby brother to death, again. Rittie's tears soak the back of my shirt but I don't care. He has a right to cry, I don't. And yet I do, the pain in my gut and the burning agony in my throat was too much.

This causes him to rub my back more and kiss the side of my head,"Just breathe, alright?" His voice was cracking from his crying. I eventually stopped vomiting and just sniffled. Rittie hands me a towel and I wipe my face clean. "Sorry.", Yeah that word always works especially when you worry your brother every night that you might die.

"Don't apologize. Here.", He handed me a glass of water and a pill. Without arguing I take it. We head back to bed and Rittie holds me close. I resist the urge to shift away, in fear that if I'm too close I'll actually kill the one thing that keeps me alive.

I love you so much, otouto. That's why you stay away from me. I love you too much.

Page Break.

At work the next day, I feel dead. Mino comes in and sees my drained face. I resist the urge to flinch as his strong but kind arms wrap around me. He nuzzles his nose in my hair and gives me a reassuring smile. If I had the energy I would've laughed at Rittie's bright red face. Mino lets go and pets my head like I was a puppy. He sits and gets to work.

No, don't do that to me Mino-san. And don't do it to yourself.

T^T I'm sorry. A moment...*sniffle* Okay, I'm good. Takano: Fake ass tears. -_- Shut up,T! Takano: You enjoyed it and you know it. Sadist. Me: *ignoring* Review and tune in next time. Ja!~