All characters, places, etc. are Stephanie Meyers!

His lips, vibrantly cold, pressed against my neck, leaving me completely out of breath. I turned around clumsily, leaning into his embrace, bringing my lips to meet his. An ethereal jolt rocketed through my body as our mouths touched, and I found myself lost in a mesmerizing aura of desire. I kissed him harder, suddenly unabashed and ravenous for the taste of his lips on mine. Breathless, my heart hammering in my chest, it took me several moments to realize that Edward's hands had left my skin. Suddenly his lips too were torn from me and I felt him withdraw from the touch of my body. The passion drained away quickly, leaving my lungs void of air and my limbs shaky.

"Edward..." I looked up at him, and found him shaking as well, his head cradled in his nacreous hands. "Edward, what's wrong?" He looked up at me slowly, his topaz eyes sprinkled with flecks of onyx.

"Bella, I'm sorry," his voice was pained, and I felt my chest tighten with apathy. "I can't...it's too much. Your scent...the feel of your flesh...it's incredibly overwhelming. I risk loosing control of myself amidst such...pleasure. Please forgive me."

By this point I could barely look at him without feeling awful. Slowly I turned my gaze skyward, "It's not your fault. I pushed it too much." Smiling, in an attempt to see the familiar sparkle in his eyes, I continued, "It's just like you to cause me to get so...passionate. You tend to have that effect on me you know."

His lips curled into a small grin, but I could tell that there was no happiness behind his faux attempt to copy my causality. "It would probably be best if you went home now," he said quietly, "I managed to ruin the mood, and besides, it's getting late."

I opened my mouth in protest, but I realized with a start that he was right. The sun was setting, painting the sky a subdued shade of tangerine. Charlie would be home soon, and I supposed he would appreciate an early dinner. I sighed, "Okay."

He lead me through the attic window and downstairs. "Do you want me to drive you home?"

It was apparent that he would be no less taciturn on the drive there, so I shook my head, "It's alright. I can manage to drive my own truck home I think." Again I flashed a smile, but this time I received none in return. Suddenly fearful, I gently touched his hand. A shiver rippled beneath his skin, echoing in my fingertips.

"You'll come visit later?"

His gaze was distant, as was his voice when he answered, "Of course." His reply did little to ease my growing apprehension.

"Alright then," I whispered, "I'll see you later."

Slowly, hesitant to leave his side, I shuffled to my truck, a million worries running through my mind.

"Stop it," I scolded myself as I climbed in, "Just focus on driving home." I turned the key in the ignition, listening intently to the rumble of the engine. As I drove away I glanced hurriedly in my rearview mirror, but he was already gone.

Wasn't it amazing how, I mused anxiously, that in a brief matter of seconds a moment could go from being absolutely phenomenal to leaving you with a growing sense of nausea? My hands clenched the steering wheel, and my eyes stared determinedly at the road ahead. Focus on driving. Focus on driving. Don't think about it. Just take a deep breath; everything is fine. But what if...

I accelerated, forcing the terror from my mind as I forced the petal down. Maybe if I distracted myself with enough speed the horrific thoughts would fade, at least temporarily. But even as the speedometer climbed, and the engine whined, my thoughts were forcibly drug back to the forefront of my consciousness. The drive to Charlie's was infinitely long as I battled feebly to barricade my fear. When I reached the driveway I was sweating from the mental exertion. Hurriedly I ran to my bedroom, nearly delirious with the need to distract myself. The first thing I registered was my c.d. player, and clumsily I pressed play.

Whatever paltry barricade I had managed to construct shattered instantly. The sound of my lullaby, the song he had written for me, swept aside all forms of distraction and the juggernaut of fear hit me, only magnified by my attempts at evasion.

What if Edward hated me now?

What if he was appalled by my forward behavior?

What if the entire evening had been a lie?

And worst of all...the thought that brought me to my knees...What if he left...again? I knew he had sworn not to, I knew that he loved me, I knew that I loved him, but still. That look that had filled his gorgeous eyes terrified me more than his innate attraction to my blood. Dying in his arms didn't scare me nearly as much as living without him, and I knew that should he leave me again, I didn't stand a chance.

Shaking feverishly I forced myself to stand, wiping hopelessly at my tears. My lullaby drifted through the room, it's heavenly sound horribly in contrast with the sudden hell that was my new existence.

As I stumbled downstairs to make dinner, my eyes still running with tears, I tried to convince myself that he would come, as he had every night for the past several months. But the doubt and fear overwhelmed any confidence I might have had, and as I pathetically warmed up some leftovers I only cried harder. When the microwave beeped I set Charlie's sad excuse for a dinner on the table and retreated back into my room.

I had left the c.d. player running, and I hurriedly turned it off, the sound of his harmonious music only worsening the pain. Collapsing atop my bedspread I buried my head beneath my pillows, wallowing in my selfish agony. As the tears continued I vowed to lay awake until he came...and if he didn't...than in the morning I was driving straight back to the Cullen's house. Whether he would be there or not was a question I didn't want to contemplate, but it was the only plan I could drudge up from the depths of my clouded, agonized mind.

When Charlie knocked on my door some minutes later I tried halfheartedly to pull myself together. Without coming out I explained that I had already eaten and was extremely tired due to a long day of activities. After sparse questioning he returned downstairs, leaving me to sit in hopeless anticipation as the night drug on.

11:00

12:00

1:00

2:00

3:00

When at three in the morning Edward had not appeared I was beyond tears. I sat now in stupefied silence, my mind unable to think about anything but the steadily spreading pain that was gradually filling my entire being.

He wasn't coming.

Sometime later, whether minutes or hours I wasn't sure, I felt my eyes drift closed. As my world went black, beneath the anguished exhaustion I felt a sudden stab of fresh pain, and the tears began all over again.

Yay so I actually continued this story! I'm pretty excited about where it's going to go from here so I can't wait to keep writing! Thank you for reading!