Author's Note: So these little snippets won't leave me alone. I am still laid up from my recent surgery but my brain won't shut up. So here's more… I own nothing.

Song Of Remembrance

Lancelot was on patrol when he heard it. If he hadn't been paying attention at the time the noise would have passed him by. He paused, motioning the rest of the patrol on ahead with a wave of his hand. He spotted the figure in the darkness and ducked down behind a pile of firewood holding his breath until he heard light quick footsteps make their way past him. He waited a moment before he followed the figure. Whoever it was she was female and moved like the shadows that surrounded her. His first thought leapt to Morgana but she wouldn't be moving away from the citadel surely. He made the split second decision to stay silent and follow.

A few minutes later he was glad he had made that decision as whoever it was slipped into one of the siege tunnels under the main guard house. How they even knew it was there was a mystery in and of itself but Lancelot couldn't worry about that now. He had lost sight of the girl for a moment as the tunnel diverged into two and he paused listening. A golden glow came from the tunnel to his left and soft singing met his ears. He lowered his sword, he knew that voice.

"I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go. When all those shadows almost killed your light. I remember you said don't leave me here alone, but all that's dead and gone and passed tonight." He followed the low singing to an alcove in the tunnels that he hadn't known about. There were candles lining the walls that looked like they had almost never been used but they glowed with light now as the singing continued.

"Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound." It was then he spotted her. Merlin sat with her back to him watching the glow of the candle flames as they hovered above their candles making fantastic shapes in the air. He stayed back watching his friend carefully. He had never seen her look so openly sad before. She always hid it so well. But now she looked like she was about to cry as she continued singing. He'd never known she could sing like that. It was the saddest most beautiful thing he'd ever heard.

"Don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire. The war outside our door keeps raging on. Hold on to this lullaby, even when the music is gone." Tears slipped out of her eyes as they glowed gold once more returning the candle flames to the wicks. She curled into a ball sobbing into her blue neckerchief. Lancelot could feel his heart breaking. He took a step forward and accidently bumped his sheath against the stone wall. Merlin jumped and looked around guiltily. She spotted Lancelot and breathed a sigh of relief that turned into a hiccup about halfway through.

"Lancelot, what are you doing here?" Her voice broke. She tried to keep it from breaking but she couldn't. Lancelot knelt down next to her placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I saw you sneaking off through the dark and thought we had an intruder. But it was just you, are you alright?" She tried to nod but it broke into a sob halfway through. She ended up shaking her head violently tears streaming down her face. He pulled her into a hug and she sobbed into his armor for a while before she got up the nerve to speak again.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you with this." Lancelot gave her a halfhearted glare.

"Merlin, you are not a bother! You look like you need someone to talk to. You know you can tell me what's wrong Merlin. I won't judge you, I promise you that. I wouldn't judge you for anything." Merlin nodded, tears still making their way down her face.

"His name was Frey. He was a druid who was cursed to kill every night, he couldn't control it. A bounty hunter caught him and brought him to Camelot to sell him to Uther. I saw him in this cage and I couldn't just stand by, cause I couldn't help but think how many times that had almost been me. So I broke him out and hid him down here. We fell in love. He could control himself around me, when he turned into the monster the witch cursed him to be, he didn't have to kill when I was around. We were going to run away together. Live in a cottage by a lake with wildflowers everywhere. But he didn't want to take me away from my life here so he tried to run, but one of the patrols caught him and Arthur… Arthur struck the mortal blow before I could get there. There was nothing I could do." She sobbed into his armor again and he stroked her short slightly curly hair. He felt tears prick his eyes at her story, she had lost so much for Arthur for Camelot and felt she was in the way when she came down to this abandoned place to mourn her lost love, her first love. But apparently she wasn't finished with her story yet.

"When I found him he was dying. I managed to get him out of Camelot, to this lake I'd been to once before. He died in my arms. I set him on a boat and burned it." Fresh waves of tears rolled down her cheeks and Lancelot held her a little closer. She was his best friend and he was almost certain she had never told anyone about this loss before.

"It was four years ago today." He was astonished, four years holding this in, keeping this to herself. Being alone in a group of friends, it couldn't have been easy.

"I'm so sorry Merlin. I can't even imagine what you've been through, but you should never think of yourself as a bother because of this. You are the strongest person I know, living with this all these years, alone, you disserve so much better than that. You aren't alone anymore. You've got us. I know the others don't know and I doubt that's going to change any time soon but you can always talk to me, whenever you need to. I'm here for you." Merlin nodded into his shoulder and kept on crying.

They were there for another good half an hour until she cried herself to sleep. He blew out the candles and gently picked her up. As he did a single red rosebud slid from between her fingers and slipped to the floor of the tunnel. Lancelot gathered his friend up in his arms and carefully made his way to Giaus's chambers. The old man was awake and worrying as he normally did when Merlin disappeared. His worry doubled when Lancelot came in carrying her.

"She's alright, just asleep. Help me get her up to her room and I'll explain." Giaus nodded and opened the door for him. He lay Merlin down on her bed and pulled the blanket over her before he and Giaus went to talk in the other room. Lancelot explained to Giaus what had happened and his eyes widened in surprise confirming to Lancelot that he had indeed been the first living soul who knew of Merlin's lost love.

The next morning it was as if nothing had happened but when she thought no one was listening Lancelot heard her humming the same song she had been singing the night before. He smiled at her and she grinned sadly back nodding her thanks.