"Don't worry child soon you will be back with..."
My eyes shot open only to close again due to the blinding light of the sun. The air around me was cool and crisp causing goosebumps to spread quickly across my skin. The smell of earth and decay hung heavily in the air giving my sensitive nose a welcome change from the scentless air of Helheim. The sudden barrage of sounds caused a sharp pain to go from my ears and meet in the middle of my skull in what could only be described as the world's most epic high-five. I slowly opened my eyes once again only to be met with the shocked faces of the Avengers.
"What the actual hell?" Tony asked, of course, being the first to break the stunned silence. I looked around at their faces. All of them were there but Steve. He was absent, even his scent wasn't lingering around the area. My heart gave a painful tug but I tried my best to ignore it.
"Baby, are you okay?" Nat questioned slowly. My eyes shot to hear, her face full of concern. I looked down at myself seeing my naked body in the flesh. I could feel the cool grass under me, smell the scents of my friends, taste the pollen in the air. My heart leaped and an awkward laugh escaped me.
"I'm fine. No, I'm more than fine I'm great." I said grinning. My throat was dry and raspy but it only served to reinforce that I was actually alive.
Suddenly everyone started talking at once, asking questions. How? Why? When? How again. My head started to spin due to the over stimulation. I held up my heads and everyone stopped talking, I could feel the hesitation in their bodies but I didn't take it personally. I'd just risen from the dead and at any moment I guess I could start craving human flesh.
The wind picked up around us and a familiar scent wafted into my face causing my body to tense. I slowly lifted my head to see Bucky standing awkwardly at the back of the group. He had no obligation to come to my funeral, he didn't have to be there. He looked away and took a step back raising his hands in front of his chest to show that he meant no harm. I gave a slight nod in response.
"Well, what do we do now? We came to pay our respects but with Jay being back; no need." Tony grinned causing Pepper to roll her eyes.
"Pay your respects? How long was I gone?" I couldn't hide the slight panic in my voice. I had been in Helheim for twelve years but Midgard time worked completely different. With everyone wearing black and holding flowers I figured it had only been a week or two.
"Jayson, man you've been gone for a year," Sam said. Had it really been a year? I looked around but no one seemed any older. Thor's hair was short and Not's was blond but I couldn't see any differences physically that weren't intentionally altered.
"Maybe Bucky should take you home so you can readjust and process everything." Maria's voice was soft and uncertain. Nothing like the dominating woman I remembered. I could only nod. Why had she sounded so unsure of me going home? Had something happened in the yeat I was gone? "But first you need some clothes before you get in trouble for public indecency."
I looked down at my naked body again. There were no scares anywhere on the smooth flesh that wrapped around muscles. No imperfections to mar the plains of lightly tanned, olive-toned skin. I suddenly felt a pang of hatred for my body. It was clean and any history that could mark it was a slate wiped clean as soon as it healed. I was forced out of my thoughts as soon as clothes hit my lap. I looked up at Nat.
"We're the same height so I figured mine would fit you best." She gave me a dazzling smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Something was definitely wrong.
I slowly stood allowing my legs to readjust to holding my weight. When they felt steady I quickly pulled on the clothes Nat had given me.
"Alright, after you have some time to get used to everything again we should throw a party. Like a welcome back party." Ton stated, Bruce muttered something about "any excuse to get drunk and everyone else rolled their eyes.
Too soon everyone was dispersing. I said my goodbyes while looking around the cemetery. Just thinking about my body resting here for a year sent chills down my spine. I didn't particularly like cemeteries and there was something about the land that had acted as my final resting place that was unsettling. Bucky kept his distance waiting for me to make my first move. With a final glance at my headstone, I motioned for Bucky to lead the way.
He led me to the car not pushing when I hesitated to open the door. It was Steve's car and yet I couldn't smell him through the open window. It was like the car had always been Buckys. Slowly I got in settling in the passenger side uncomfortably. I looked over at my companions face seeing a dismal and hesitant look on his face as he started the engine. Bucky's hair was a few inches longer but pulled out of his face, his facial hair was also better kept.
"Bucky, what's going on? what did I miss?" I asked quietly. Everyone was acting strange and I was very sure it wasn't just the surprise of a zombie being real and not trying to eat brains. The soldier sighed and looked like he was thinking.
Was Steve still around? Had he moved on? Not moved at all? Was he still alive? Had he done something? Was he okay? Was he in danger?
"Puppy, I'm going to try to get Steve home as soon as possible. He's on a mission right now but before you see him again I want to let you know, warn you, he's not the same and I don't think he'll magically go back to the way he was before. Have patience with him." Bucky's voice was strained almost like he was still hiding something.
"What do you mean?" I asked pushing myself into a straighter position. He was being almost cryptic with the way he was beating around the bush.
He sighed. "After you died he got really depressed then he..." He shook his head." Then he went off the deep end. He got angry, landed himself in some trouble, sow he just throws himself into work. He's still angry and distant. Just be careful."
Be careful? Did he become violent? And what kind of trouble? I felt that painful tug in my chest again. Because I died whatever had happened, happened.
"Quit thinking. It isn't you fault Puppy. You know it isn't." Bucky's voice was stern without being intimidating, I still flinched. He sighed. "I'm sorry."
"No, it's not you're fault. I'm getting better. If I'd been around then I could have gotten over the past by now." I kept my voice low and eyes forward. We pulled into the driveway. The house looked just as I remembered it. Inside it also looked mostly the same but something was missing. Steve's scent was nowhere to be found. The only scent that lingered was Buckys. The house also looked like it was only lived in by him. Any personality was wiped clean. All history healing perfectly instead of leaving any scars just like my body. I stepped further in feeling that the house was unreal just as clear and clean as it had been when it first began to act like my prison.
"I should probably pull your stuff out of the guest room. steve packed it all thinking it would help ease the pain." I turned to look at Bucky giving him a nod. It hurt a bit but I understood.
The soldier ran upstairs while I continued to look around. The throw pillows had been replaced, walls touched up and the kitchen completely remodeled. I heaved a sigh, had Steve really been so desperate to erase any memory of me that he went too far as to remodel the kitchen? No, it had to be something else.
"I got the boxes out. Do you want them in Steve's room?" Bucky called.
"Yes please," I called back making my way to the library only to find a panic room? The books and computer were gone it was just a blank room with bare essentials in it in case of an emergency.
Steve's room was the same, his scent even still lingered there in trace amounts. He'd been gone for a while if it was that hard to pick up his scent. Bucky mentioned food but scurried away quickly. I lightly ran my fingers over everything taking in every texture and sensation. It should have felt right, perfect. It should have.