The sequel to Misunderstood~ (kind of :p)
It's a remake of episode 166, the handcuff episode (as I dub it), GinHiji style ^^
Hope you enjoy it :)
This chapter has a few swearing words and a green, sour lime |D
It was late morning. Hijikata had his tired eyes glued to the binoculars. He was in an alley full of rubbish and he was tired. He didn't sleep last night because he couldn't. The target is one of the Jouishishi; he could suddenly leave the house that he was spying on in the middle of the night.
The Shinsengumi was cursing in his mind. 3 days in the rubbish-filled alley. 2 nights without sleep. He was as grumpy as Scrooge on Christmas day.
Detecting no movement, his hand moved to the walkie-talkie in his jacket pocket. "Oi Sougo. Any movement from your side?"
"Roger." Sougo simply said.
"What roger? Reply me properly." Hijikata was starting to get annoyed. And Sougo had only said one word.
"All seems fine here, Hijikata-san, its safe and peaceful, roger. Oh, uncle, give me more beef…" Sougo said, with a slurp at the end.
"Oi. You're out eating ramen aren't you? You're ditching your work aren't you? You're just going to let me suffer here alone in this dirt hole aren't you?"
"What are you talking about Hijikata-san? I'm just taking a break. Aren't you hungry? Roger."
"Now isn't the time to be taking a break you retard. Get your ass back here."
"Oh, add an egg too, roger."
"There's no need for you to report that, you bastard." Hijikata was at his wits end.
"More soup too, roger."
"SOUGO. I'M GOING TO BAZOOKA YOUR ASS OFF TO RENHO IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP AND GET HERE."
"Oi, oi, it's too early in the morning to be shouting so loud…" a voice mumbled. Hijikata turned around.
Oh holy mother of fuck. It just has to be this day.
"You know, you probably don't own the dumpster, so can you get off?" Gintoki mumbled. "Some people have to throw their trash inside."
"Ok, ok, I'm getting off, sheesh." Hijikata got off the dumpster he was sitting on.
"No one would care if you were hobo-ing out here but…"
"I wasn't hobo-ing you dick."
"You know? People actually have to throw their things in the morning. It would help if you would hobo somewhere else in the morning."
"I SAID I WASN'T HOBO-ING YOU PRICK." Hijikata shouted. The ass just has to be here, on this day, at this time, AND STILL FUCKING ASLEEP.
Well, ever since they had their relationship problem sorted out, all has been well. Hijikata managed to get back on track. However, being a couple is still somewhat on a low level. Gintoki still annoys Hijikata when work is involved. Gintoki just has that sort of attitude that Hijikata finds really annoying at certain times. Not like that hinders any activities at night though.
"Could you not raise your voice? Its still early, people are trying to sleep…" Gintoki still mumbled sleepily. "And if you're going to spy on people's houses like that, do it more conspicuously…"
"I'm not spying…" Hijikata said, holding in his anger to pound the albino's head into the ground.
"You're not? Then what are you doing with the binoculars?" Gintoki pointed to the binoculars in Hijikata's hand.
"Work. Now get lost and let me do my job."
"Your job is to spy on people? First you steal from us in broad daylight and now you have the urge to know what every body is doing every day?" Gintoki said, his voice getting clearer because he was waking up.
"No, I couldn't care less what every body is doing everyday, but I DO have the urge to stuff that permed head of yours into the dumpster."
"Now, its not my fault I have a perm, Oogushi-kun. I really want it straighten out but I don't have the money for it…" Gintoki stroked his hair strands affectionately, fully awake.
Great. The only thing I need from him now is for him to wake up.
Hijikata rolled his eyes.
"Oogushi-kun! Rolling your eyes at people is rude!" Gintoki reprimanded.
Hijikata snapped.
So did handcuffs.
Gintoki raised his left hand, a handcuff sitting snugly on his wrist.
"What's this Hijikata-kun?"
"A handcuff." Hijikata said, lighting a cigarette.
Gintoki looked at Hijikata before saying, "Kinky. If you just wanted it you could have just said so…"
"What the hell are you talking about? I'm arresting you."
"If so, why isn't my other hand handcuffed?" Gintoki started shaking his left hand, making the cuffs jingle. Hijikata's right hand was still holding the other cuff.
"Cut it out." Hijikata said, whacking him with his left hand. Gintoki stopped.
Hijikata grew pale. His newly lighted cigarette fell to the floor.
Today. It just has to be today. First Sougo has to go eat ramen during duty. Then this bumbling idiot comes here half awake. AND NOW I'M HANDCUFFED TO THE DICKWAD.
"What's with you calling me all sorts of names for –beep-?"
"What?" Hijikata asked, frowning in confusion.
"I said, what's with you calling me all sorts of names for –beep-."
"…"
"Huh? –beep-. –beeeeeeeeeeeep- -BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP- -BEEP- -beep- beeeeeep-" Gintoki was censored as he tried saying something in different ways.
"SHUT IT WITH YOUR BEEPING." Hijikata shouted. His left hand reached into his jacket pocket.
"Oi Sougo. Since you're not doing anything, bring this idiot down to the station for obstructing a police officer's work and for insulting a police officer."
"Now now Oogushi-kun, you don't have to do that."
"I probably do."
"You probably don't. Anyways, we have a more important issue. I can't seem to say –beep-."
"What?"
"I said I can't say –beep-. I have to say –beep-! It's part of my body!"
"Whatever, you dick. Just shut up."
"How come you can say it?"
"I don't know. Sougo, oi, you there?" Hijikata said into the walkie-talkie.
"Yes, Hijikata-san?"
"I told you to come here and bring this idiot down to the station for obstructing my work."
"Kay, roger. Oh, uncle, give me another bowl, roger."
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO REPORT THAT. AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING? COME HERE NOW." Hijikata screamed into the walkie-talkie.
"Coming right up, roger." Hijikata heard the ramen uncle say.
"HEY UNCLE. DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! FORCE HIM TO COME HERE NOW!"
"Well Oogushi-kun, meanwhile, let's just sit here and let my hands roam over your—" Gintoki couldn't continue because Hijikata punched him in the face.
"Hijikata-san. What are you doing?" Sougo's head peeked into the alley.
"Sougo. Bring him down to the station for me."
Sougo ignored him and bent down in front of Gintoki on the floor holding his nose.
"Danna, what are you doing?"
"Recovering from having my nose punched in." Gintoki replied.
"Hijikata-san, you shouldn't do that to a civilian." Sougo looked up at Hijikata.
"Whatever. Just get him down to the station for me… wait, huh?" Hijikata's left hand was groping around his left outer jacket pocket.
"Where's the key?"
"Hey, you shouldn't lose the key at a time like this you know?" Gintoki said while picking his nose.
"Never mind that, Sougo give me your keys." Hijikata said, his left hand in front of him.
Only to receive a handcuff to the wrist.
So did Gintoki's remaining hand.
They stared at their hands, each chained to the other's hand, Gintoki's right hand to Hijikata's left, Hijikata's right hand to Gintoki's left.
"OI SOUGO! WHAT'S THIS?" Hijikata shouted at Sougo.
"It's a handcuff, Hijikata-san."
"We know that, Okita-kun. Why is it on our wrist?" Gintoki asked.
"SCREW THAT, JUST GIVE ME THE KEYS SOUGO." Hijikata shouted.
Sougo didn't reply, he just put a bottle of mayonnaise into Hijikata's pocket.
"SOOUUUGOOO! WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME MAYONNAISE? GIVE ME THE KEYS!" Hijikata screamed at him.
"Well, you always seem to want your mayonnaise, you mayora." Sougo replied, walking out of the alley.
"NOT NOW! SOUGO!" Hijikata shouted as Sougo got into the police car waiting outside the alley and drove off.
A few moments later, the target left the house.
"Damn." He cursed.
Hijikata moved forward but Gintoki turned and moved in the opposite direction.
"Where are you going?" Hijikata asked, annoyed.
"To the police station so I can redeem my freedom and justice."
"No no no, we're following him. We've been tracking him down for a month and I can't let it all go to waste."
"Then why didn't you just arrest him?"
"I was going to follow him to the meeting he's going to have soon so we can just catch the whole lot. Now come with me."
"What are you talking about? Set me free first then you can go stalk him."
"I'M NOT STALKING HIM."
Cheh. That means I have to somehow get him to join the investigation.
Hijikata mumbled something. Gintoki moved closer. "What was that, Oogushi-kun?"
"Can you… help me with… the investigation…" Hijikata mumbled blushing slightly.
"What are you doing Hijikata-san? If you want to ask him for something like that, you have to get on your knees." Sougo's voice was heard from the walkie-talkie.
"I don't want to." Hijikata stubbornly replied.
"On your knees? Hijikata-kun, what are you thinking of doing while working?" Gintoki smirked.
"Shut up! Get your head out of the gutter!" Hijikata spluttered, his face getting redder.
Gintoki chuckled. "Blushing makes you look so adorable, Hijikata-kun~"
Hijikata couldn't take it anymore. He raised his hands quickly, at the same time, send Gintoki flying up, before bringing them down again and smashing the poor man chained to him into the floor.
"THERE, I'M ON MY KNEES."
"GAHH!" Gintoki cried out as he was once again in the air.
"WILL YOU HELP ME WITH THE INVESTIGATION?" Hijikata shouted, smashing Gintoki into the concrete floor several times.
"OK OK, I'LL DO IT, JUST STOP DAMN IT!"
Hijikata stopped. They slowly walked out of the alley and started to follow the walking target into a market street that wasn't too crowded at the moment.
"Of all things, I have to be chained to you." Hijikata mumbled.
"Would you rather be chained to a bed?" Gintoki smirked. Hijikata just stomped on his foot.
Gintoki yelped in pain.
"I rather not be chained and STOP STARING AT US! ITS NOT LIKE WE WANTED TO BE CHAINED TOGETHER!" Hijikata screamed at the crowd, whose eyes were staring at them.
Everyone quickly looked away.
The target went into a diner. Hijikata and Gintoki paused outside.
"Right. Act natural and go in." Hijikata advised.
A few seconds later, he and Gintoki were waltzing (literally) into the diner, two hands intertwined in front of them.
"HOW THE HELL IS THIS NATURAL?" Hijikata hissed at Gintoki, who had a rose in his mouth. "And where did you get that rose?"
"I always had it, you just didn't see it." Gintoki replied.
"Do you have a black hole somewhere on your body or what?" Hijikata mumbled. "What?" Gintoki asked.
"Nothing. And why am I in the women's position?" Hijikata looked at the hand on his waist.
"Because you're the woman in our relationship." Gintoki tightened his grip on his waist.
Hijikata's vein popped. "I am not a woman." He gripped Gintoki's hand that was on his waist.
"I never said you were. I rather have my Oogushi-kun then some other woman."
Hijikata blushed slightly.
"Although I really want to know, Danna. Where did you get the rose?" Sougo's voice was heard from Hijikata's jacket pocket.
"JUST WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, TO BE SEEING ALL THIS?" Hijikata looked up and shouted to the air.
They finally got to a booth and sat down. Hijikata ordered a coffee and Gintoki ordered a chocolate parfait.
Gintoki was about to eat when his right hand got pulled because Hijikata was trying to squirt mayonnaise into his coffee with his left hand.
Gintoki retorted by yanking his hand and that caused the mayonnaise to squirt onto the table.
"Oi, you just ruined my aim with the mayo."
"Right. Oogushi-kun, what are you doing?"
"Putting mayonnaise in my coffee."
"Yeah, about that. Why are you putting mayonnaise in your coffee?"
Hijikata looked at Gintoki for a moment before squirting some on his parfait.
"OOGUSHI-KUN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"Making your parfait taste nicer."
"NO, YOU'RE TURNING IT INTO DOG FOOD!"
"APOLOGISE TO THE MAYO! MAYONNAISE IS A CONDIMENT THAT MAKES ALL TASTE GOOD."
"ONLY TO YOUR TWISTED TASTE BUDS."
Hijikata pulled his hands and Gintoki's body lurched forward, smashing his face into his parfait. Meanwhile, Hijikata took a sip of his tea.
Just then Sougo spoke.
"Oh Hijikata-san? I forgot to tell you something. The mayonnaise that I gave you had some aphrodisiac in it."
Hijikata paled. He could feel himself get aroused without him (or Gintoki for that matter) doing anything.
"Hi-ji-ka-ta-kun" Gintoki said slowly, his head lifting up from the parfait, crimson eyes looked at navy blue eyes.
"Uh oh." Hijikata said. He could see Gintoki's eyes full of lust with pupils blown.
Hijikata pointed behind him. "Uhm, Toilet?" He said, unsure.
Gintoki smirked and they got up.
Once inside the men's toilet, they checked all stalls to see if anyone was inside taking a dump (A/N: because men pee in the urinals… which aren't in the stalls…).
Gintoki used a bobby pin that he found in his pocket to lock the door.
Hijikata glared at him. "Why do you have a bobby pin?"
"Jealous, Hijikata-kun?"
"No, I'm just… curious…"
"Really now?" Hijikata is such a tsundere, Gintoki thought, smiling mentally.
Hijikata didn't reply, just pouted and blushed.
Gintoki growled and pulled him towards the nearest stall.
He's just so cute, blushing like that. It makes me want to just jump him right there.
He locked the door and grabbed Hijikata's collar and brought their faces together in a lip lock.
Gintoki's tongue slid over Hijikata's lip, hinting to him what he wants. Hijikata moaned. The aphrodisiac heightened their body's sensitivity. Hijikata willingly opened up, his member rock hard, wanting to be relieved.
Gintoki felt Hijikata's lips open up, and his tongue immediately went in, rubbing Hijikata's own tongue, forcing lovely moans from the black-haired man.
Hijikata was so occupied in the kiss that he didn't realize that he was being pushed back to sit on the toilet bowl, thankfully enough, with the cover down (and that it wasn't a squat toilet. Phew, right?).
Once seated, Gintoki immediately went to pull off the cravat tie (A/N: you know, that thingy around his neck) and started zipping down Hijikata's vest and unbuttoning his dress shirt.
Gintoki pulled away from the kiss and started sucking on the sweet, sweet skin on Hijikata's neck. Hijikata gripped Gintoki's wrists as he started to pinch his nipples, gritting his teeth to prevent moaning too loudly.
Gintoki's tongue dragged from Hijikata's collarbone down to one of his nipples, sucking, licking and biting the nub, while one hand was slowly drawing circles on Hijikata's tummy.
Hijikata couldn't help but squirm under Gintoki's touch, his tongue abusing one of his nipples and his hand tickling him.
Soon, his hands were on his belt buckle, trying to unbuckle it. Finally able to do so, fingers unbuttoned and unzipped, somewhat freeing Hijikata's aching hard-on.
Hijikata moaned as the albino's hands started rubbing him through his boxers. He started writhing, silently begging for more.
Gintoki finally unlatched himself to the overly abused nipple and looked at Hijikata's face, which was blushing and mouth currently spilling out small moans.
"You know Toushi, that blush really makes you look so adorable~"
"Shut up, you bastard" Hijikata said as his was face getting redder from the compliment.
Gintoki just chuckled and slid his hand into the black boxers and freed Hijikata's member from its confines.
Hijikata hissed at the sudden cold feeling. Gintoki was about to remove his pants totally when Hijikata stopped him.
"No sex."
"What?"
"I said, no sex."
"… My ears must be playing a prank on me…"
"Its not your ears. No. Sex."
"You gotta be kidding me."
"Nope."
"We're in the toilet alone, the door is locked, we're horny, and we can't have sex just because you say so?"
"If we did, I wouldn't be able to chase after the target."
"You always have work on your mind." Gintoki pouted.
"You always have sex on yours, you wild animal."
Gintoki grinned. He leaned up and whispered into his ear, "Why don't I just show you how wild I am?"
Hijikata shuddered. He really wish he would, but…
"No."
Gintoki sighed in disappointment. Then, he unzipped his pants and brought his hard manhood out of his boxers.
"We should at least jerk off."
"We have to, you moron. We got fed aphrodisiac."
And with that, Gintoki grabbed his and Hijikata's members and started pumping his hand up and down.
Hijikata gasped at the sudden movement and surge of pleasure, a familiar feeling pooling at the bottom of his stomach.
"Unngh, G-gintoki," Hijikata moaned.
Gintoki leaned forward and started licking and sucking the vice-commander's neck, kissing his jaw at the same time.
Then, his other hand started to move towards Hijikata's back and started to stroke. Gintoki knew that one of Hijikata's sensitive spots was his back and rubbed his rough hands over the smooth skin.
Hijikata moaned at the simultaneous feeling of most of his sensitive spots being touched, rubbed, and sucked.
"Nnnh, Gintoki, I… I'm going to…" Hijikata didn't finish what he was going to say, but instead, he acted it out.
Hijikata threw his head back and cried out as he came, seeing white as pleasure shook his body, come spraying out and staining their clothes. Gintoki looked down and, due to the erotic sight of Hijikata, came a second later, further staining their clothes.
Gintoki leaned forward to rest on Hijikata, both of them panting, glad that the aphrodisiac wore off quickly.
They stayed there for a few minutes, listening to their breathing as they came down from their high, only to be interrupted by an obnoxious voice.
"Hijikata-san? Danna? You alright in there?" Sougo's voice droned out.
"SHUT UP YOU BASTARD." They both yelled at the walkie-talkie.
They cleaned themselves up and fixed their clothes before Gintoki unlocked the door with the bobby pin.
"I still didn't get to hear where you got that." Hijikata glared at Gintoki again.
Gintoki sighed and ruffled his hair. "I had to dress up as a tranny for a job. Had to wear that."
Hijikata raised an eyebrow. "You dressed up as a tranny?"
"I didn't do anything! Just… danced on stage…"
Hijikata stifled his laughter, but to no avail.
"Hey!"
Hijikata stopped laughing and smiled at Gintoki. "You should really get a proper job."
"Yeah. Maybe I should join the Shinsengumi," Gintoki said, smirking at Hijikata, "Then maybe we could have sex every night."
Hijikata's eyes widened. "Don't you dare. I will do all it takes to stop that."
Gintoki just chuckled and they exited the toilet, just to see Hijikata's target entering a car outside.
"Shit. Let's go!" Hijikata said and immediately ran out of the diner.
As the car drove off, Hijikata whipped out his Shinsengumi badge, shoved it into a teenager's face, and borrowed (stole) his scooter.
They drove the scooter in a really amusing way. Hijikata was sitting on the seat with Gintoki straddling his hips, legs locking at the side of his waists.
"We're in the wrong position!" Gintoki yelled.
"Huh?"
"I said we're in the wrong position! Oh, and there's a truck behind us. Go left."
Hijikata swerved left, into the path of another truck.
"We are?"
"Yes! It's the opposite! I should be where you are and you should be where I am! And I said left, not right!"
"I did go left! And I think we should just leave it!"
"I obviously meant my left! Not yours! And I think we shouldn't leave it. Plus, I own a scooter."
"Whatever. We can't stop now anyways, we're on a highway."
In the end, Hijikata refused to stop the scooter so they could change their position and they stopped in front of the warehouse.
"Sougo. Oi, Sougo. We found the meeting place. Send back up. Oi, Sougo, you sadistic weasel." Hijikata spat into the walkie-talkie, earning no response from said sadistic weasel.
"Never mind that, let's just go." Hijikata said, starting to move towards the warehouse.
Gintoki was unsure and hesitated, making Hijikata pull him along.
"Oogushi-kun? Are you gonna just barge in there?"
"Yup."
"ARE YOU INSANE? WE'RE ONLY TWO PEOPLE AND INSIDE THAT WAREHOUSE MAY HAVE FIFTEEN TIMES THE NUMBER OF US PLUS WE'RE CHAINED TOGETHER. ITS SUICIDE."
Hijikata glared at him. "I'm not called the Demon Vice-Commander for nothing, you prick."
"Damn, you called me a –beep- again. How many times are you going to keep calling me a –beep-?"
"Much more when I find out what the hell 'beep' means."
"-Beep- means –beep-. It sucks not being able to say –beep- you know…"
"Whatever. Let's go, you dildo."
"Now you're calling me fake –beeps-? Seriously Hijikata-kun, mind your language, you asshole."
"Mind your own and I mind mine, you douche. Let's go." Hijikata said, pulling him towards the building.
"There should be a safer way then just barging in right?" Gintoki said, nervous.
Hijikata looked at the building and eyed the air vent.
They somehow managed to get into the air vent, pushing themselves sideways. It was a long and frustrating journey, typically because it was long.
The reached a vent where it was over the meeting place. Gintoki shifted to place his body at one side of the square opening and Hijikata shifted to the opposite side.
Because of the handcuffs, they set their hands beside the other sides of the square vent opening, peering down, nearly bumping their heads together, spied on the Jouishishi.
But of course, Sougo just has to give away their perfect hiding spot.
"Hijikata-san. Did you call? What about the target? Hijikata-san?" Sougo suddenly said loudly via walkie-talkie, making Hijikata drop it onto the vent's grail.
"Who's there?" Someone shouted, and before the two spies knew it, a square was cut from the metal vent and they were falling.
"WOOOAAAAAH." They both shouted as Gintoki and Hijikata tumbled to the ground. Gintoki twisted to let Hijikata fall on him (after all, he can't let his precious uke to get hurt, yeah?) but Hijikata was flailing so much that Gintoki landed on Hijikata instead.
"Looks like we got some pests around." A man said.
"Look at those cuffs. Really friendly guys huh?" Another said, chuckling.
"I'm not handcuffed because I want to, bastards! I'm not much of a masochist, you know!" Hijikata hissed.
Gintoki raised an eyebrow. "You just admitted that you were an 'M', Oogushi-kun."
"I… Uh… Sh-shut up, you sadist!" Hijikata blushed.
"Now, Oogushi-kun, what makes you think I'm a sadist?" Gintoki said, pouting.
"EVERYTHING." Hijikata shouted.
"Why don't you two continue your little lovers quarrel in heaven?" A man said, raising his sword above his head.
Gintoki and Hijikata quickly stood up as another man started coming at them with a sword.
With perfect synchronization, each lifted a left leg and kicked the two men charging at them in the face, hitting them at exactly the same time.
They found a good use for the handcuffs soon. The cuffs were pretty good stuff; they broke swords that came their way and used them as shields for the swords, before punching a few men in the face.
Gintoki jumped and stomped on a poor man's face, lifting himself and locking his calves onto a low-hanging pipe. He swung his arms and Hijikata was kicking everyone nearby hard because of the swinging momentum.
The two fought like dancers, literally. Hands intertwined, they punched any man daring to come close to them in the face, breaking a few dozen noses. Their footwork was matching each other's perfectly. They would make a good ice skating pair.
"What the hell are they! Everyone, attack all at once!" A man shouted, and immediately, everyone charged into attack the chained couple.
Hijikata grabbed Gintoki's wrist and whirled around, propelling people into the walls of the warehouse with equivalent power of a sledgehammer… or at least, a normal hammer.
The last man standing got his sword broken, and he turned to flee, only to get knocked out by an empty mayonnaise bottle to the head, bouncing off his crown comically.
"Shit, what a crazy combo." A man was heard. So the man dubbed as 'Last Standing' was actually 'Second Last Standing'. Well, actually he's now called 'Thirty-Third Knocked-Out'.
Hijikata and Gintoki turned as a bright light filtered in through the now open garage door, with a man on a Harley. He started to drive towards them, screaming, "YOU WILL DIE NOW."
Hijikata and Gintoki started running towards the bike as well, shouting back in response, " HELL NO."
They held hands and spread out as far as they can and ran directly at the bike, completely being missed by the bike but snagging the driver with their arms, then they stopped as the bike exploded due to hitting the garage door behind them.
Typical Power Rangers scene.
A shadow was seen through the smoke, walking towards them.
"Hijikata-san. Danna. You okay?" Sougo said as he walked through the smoke, only to be greeted by Gintoki and Hijikata on a pile of unconscious bodies.
How they managed to get them in a pile and climb up, ask the mangaka. I didn't create Gintama.
"You're late." Gintoki said simply.
"And you get to clean up." Hijikata added behind his lover's sentence.
The rest of the Shinsengumi arrived and cuffed the terrorists, some of them cursing the Shinsengumi with empty threats of revenge. Sougo whipped out a key and unlocked Gintoki's and Hijikata's handcuffs.
They both sighed as they rubbed their wrists.
"Know that you will be getting more then just cleaning up." Hijikata said.
"Yeah, yeah. You guys still did a pretty good job though." Sougo replied, "So do I still need to bring Danna down to the station? Interfering with a police officer's work and insulting a police officer right?"
"Wait, you're still holding me to that? And since when did I insult you?" Gintoki pouted.
"You called me a hobo, a thief, and a pervert," Hijikata glared, than sighed. "It's okay. Just ignore it."
Gintoki grinned. "Thanks. But I only insulted you by calling you a hobo and a thief."
"Huh? You also called me a per—"
"You're my pervert, Hijikata-kun~" Gintoki chuckled, slapping Hijikata's ass.
"YOU!" Hijikata blushed and tried to strangle the sugar addict, but he just kept on missing as Gintoki smoothly dodged the waiting hands.
Hijikata gave up and just marched away, Sougo and Gintoki looking at the vice-commander's uniformed back getting further away from them.
"By the way, can I have those handcuffs?" Gintoki asked Sougo.
"What for, Danna?" Sougo asked.
"You know, to tie Hijikata-kun to the be—" Gintoki said but got interrupted by a bottle of mayonnaise to the face.
"Ow! What was that for, Oogushi-kun," Gintoki said, rubbing his forehead, "If you didn't like bondage, just say s—" he got interrupted once again by a mayonnaise bottle shaped lighter to the face. Again.
"Ow! Oogushi-kun! This is physical abuse!" Gintoki whined as he rubbed his cheek.
"It is not!" Hijikata shouted back, blushing furiously. "And who the hell is Oogushi-kun?"
"Oh I know, maybe its not that you don't like bondage, but you're shy to admit that you really liked it!" Gintoki managed to finish saying his sentence without getting hit by a mayonnaise-related object.
Although he did get hit by the walkie-talkie right after he finished the sentence, Hijikata's face redder than before.
"Shut up!" Hijikata shouted at the albino.
Gintoki chuckled. "My little tsundere."
Hijikata's face got impossibly redder and threw everything that he could lay his hands on at Gintoki, even Yamazaki.
Sougo just stood there, enjoying the sight of a blushing Hijikata.
Perfect blackmail material. Sougo thought. I even have the recording of what they did in the toilet. MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAH. SOON, HIJIKATA'S HEAD WILL ROLL AND I WILL TAKE HIS PLACE AS VICE-COMMANDER.
Sougo turned to Gintoki as said man was still dodging a number of items thrown at him.
"You know Danna, I really envy your ability to get under Hijikata-san's skin."
"Oh please. I can do better. I can get under his clothes and inside his—" Gintoki didn't get to continue as Madao was thrown at him. The two jobless men collided and they collapsed to the floor.
Sougo just sighed and quickly vanished into the car, not wishing to be hit by that swordfish that was thrown to exactly where he used to be standing.
I hoped you enjoyed it! :)
i certainly had fun writing it XD
I might just write more :)