AN: I am sorry about not updating sooner but this was the first chance I got.

"Peter, I say this because I care," Susan said slowly, gently griping her brother by the shoulders. "You. Are. Insane."

"I. Am. Not." He said back just as slowly.

"Come on, Peter." Susan rolled her eyes. "You can't seriously think your story explains anything that happened last night."

"I've been telling Mum they should lock him up for years but no one listened to me." Edmund joked, picking up a greasy hoagie wrapper with a pair of tongs, attempting to fling it over to the trash without actually making contact with it.

"That's because I'm her favorite." Peter teased, reached over and lightly whacking his brother over the head.

Edmund rolled his eyes and glanced down at the rug, hoping the red stain was juice and not blood-just like he desperately hoped the stain in the far corner of the room was apple juice and not pee.

Susan bent over and attempted to remove a stack of what she guessed was nachos and cheese off of the cover of one of their father's books. "I just cannot get over how you view last night." She sighed, shaking her head at Peter.

"Fine, then." Peter huffed, trying to scrape what looked like a mixture of gum and snot off of the bottom of the coffee table. "Then why don't you explain what happened last night?"

"Yeah," Edmund sneered, turning on her suddenly. "Too afraid you'll realize this whole mess is your own fault?"

"You know what?" Susan snapped, putting her hands on her hips. "I am going to explain what happened last night."

What happened at the Pevensie household last night, Susan's point of view:

"Alright, children," Mrs. Pevensie said with a kindly smile on her face as she grabbed her purse and headed for the door. "I've got to drop Lucy off at Marjorie's." She looked both ways, glancing at her oldest daughter as she walked down the stairs wearing a glittering diamond tiara on her head. Her hair was curled and clipped up neatly on one side with the other side fell straightly over the edge of the tiara.

"Hullo, Mummy." Susan said in a very polite and proper voice, waving her hand in greeting to anyone else who should happen to be in the room to be sure that no one in her wonderful family whom she loved so dearly would be left out. "Have fun tonight."

"I will, dear." Mrs. Pevensie sighed, her smile widening just a little bit as she glanced away from her daughter, scanning the room for her eldest son. "Peter?" She paused, seeming a bit confused. "Where's Peter?"

"He's right over there, Mum." Susan said helpfully, motioning over to the couch where Peter sat, having a sort of stare-down with a chess board set up on the coffee table.

Laughing madly, Peter threw his head back and exclaimed (to himself), "Hang it all, Peter, you've put my king in check!" He stood up, put on his father's glasses-which had been left near the reading lamp in the middle of the room-and walked over to the other side of the chess board. "Ha-ha! I, High King Peter the magnificent, have defeated even the greatest in the world, myself! Ha ha ha!"

Peter's voice cutting into the story: "Susan Pevensie! I do not talk to myself like that! And playing chess against one's self is a way to improve mental skills, it in no way insinuates that I have a split personality problem!"

Susan's voice answering: "Peter, calm down, you already had your turn. Now just let me tell the story."

Peter's voice: "Okay, okay."

"Peter, I need to put you in charge tonight." Mrs. Pevensie said gravely, shaking her head as her son, peering up at her with a dumbstruck look on his face, sighed deeply.

"Very well, I suppose that comes of being the eldest." Peter said dejectedly in a resigned tone of voice.

"If only Susan had come first." Mrs. Pevensie said, looking over at Susan as she carefully and sparingly began applying a little bit of light make-up, focusing on the mirror so that she didn't accidentally put too much on.

"Yes, if only." Peter agreed solemnly. "She's smarter than me, better looking than me, and unlike me, knows what gastrovascular means."

Edmund's voice cutting into the story: "That has got to be the biggest bold-face lie I have ever heard!"

Peter's voice: "Thank you!"

Edmund's voice: "I meant the amount of make-up she was putting on, not you."

Peter's voice: "Fine. Then I wasn't thanking you."

Susan's voice interrupting them: "This is my story, keep out of it!"

Peter's voice: "And she says I have an ego problem!"

Susan's voice: "Ahem!"

"Out of the way, you!" Edmund bounced into the living room, shoving Susan away from the mirror.

"Ed-" Susan protested weakly, reaching up and fixing her tiara which had nearly been knocked off with one hand while placing the other delicately on her heart. "I was there first..."

Edmund turned up his nose and rolled his eyes. "I'm doing you a favor, Su! Your face can't hold up all that make-up without crumbling."

"Oh, Edmund!" Mrs. Pevensie said sadly, reaching out a tender hand to comfort her daughter briefly before she left. "Why do you have to be so mean to your poor sister?"

"I'm sorry, Susan." Edmund said moving out of the way of the mirror. "Now to show you how sorry I am-" He looked over at the doorway to make sure their mother was really gone. "I'm going to call my rugger friends over for pizza even though I know you had plans to use our living room tonight."

Peter looked up from his chess set and glared at his brother. "Look here, Ed! I know you want to have some fun with your friends tonight but you cannot just invite them over like this."

"Thank you, Peter." Susan said, she would have gotten misty-eyed but she didn't want to smudge the brown eyeliner she'd just finished applying.

"You can't have your friends over either!" Peter snapped meanly.

Forcing herself to remember her eyeliner, Susan blinked back her tears. "But Peter," she bit her lower lip and took a deep breath. "I promised they could come. I can't go back on my word, that would be horrible..."

"You spend too much time with your friends as it is." Peter told her, unrelentingly.

A new realization dawned on Susan and her mouth formed a round O as it came to her. "I'm sorry, I know you both miss my company." She stretched out her arms to hug Edmund.

Edmund shoved her away and reached for the phone. "Get off me, prom queen!"

"Don't be so selfish!" Susan grabbed onto the phone and tried to pull it out of his hands.

"Back off!" Edmund hissed, pulling harder.

"Let go!" Susan pleaded.

"You let go." Edmund answered rudely, suddenly letting go and grabbing onto her purse.

"Hey, stay out of there!" Susan cried as he snapped the clasp open.

"Well doesn't the wittle princess have a dilemma!" Edmund laughed holding the purse out of her reach.

"What's it going to take?" She gulped, knowing the answer was sure to be rather painful.

"The phone," Edmund shot her a smug smile.

Desperately, Susan promised him ten pounds if he let her call her friends over and didn't bother them when they arrived. He took the bait, practically ripping the money out of her wallet.

"Hey!" Peter said sullenly, marching over to them as the bribe was taking place. "How come I didn't get anything?"

With a deep sigh, she pressed some money into her elder brother's palm as well. "Here."

"I don't want your charity!" Peter exclaimed self-righteously, tossing the money back to her.

"Well," Susan said slowly, shaking her head in wonder. How was it possible she was related to two such unreasonable jerks?

Peter and Edmund's voices cutting into the story at the same time: "Unreasonable jerks?!"

Susan's voice answering Peter: "Would you prefer older brother who still sleeps with a nightlight?"

Peter's voice: "That's for reading!"

Edmund's voice: "What about me? I don't sleep with a nightlight!"

Peter's voice: "Reading light!"

Susan's voice: "Well, Ed, why don't I change it to younger brother who once saved a piece of poop in a jar and then showed it to everyone?"

Edmund's voice: "Unreasonable jerks is fine with us, right Pete?"

Peter's voice: "I still say it's a reading light."

Edmund's voice: "You read in your sleep?"

Susan's voice: "Let me finish my story!"

Edmund hastily shoved the money she had given him into his pocket just in case she wanted it back (Which by the way, she still does).

Peter rubbed his forehead. "You two brats give me such a headache sometimes!" He yawned and looked towards the staircase. "I'm going to go take a nap and if there is any sign of either of you having fun when I wake up..." He paused and glared hard at both of them. "...Aslan help me." with that, he stormed up the stairs, tripping over a shoelace that had come undone.

"I think I willed that to happen." Edmund whispered to Susan.

As much as it pained her to admitted it, Susan sighed and said, "Me too."

Alas before poor Susan knew what had happened, Edmund's rugger team friends had arrived and had brought some more people with them and although they had not told her they were going to do so, Susan's friends arrived with their boyfriends, their boyfriends'...er...acquaintances...and in one case, a beagle puppy. The next thing she knew, everyone was partying and dancing and before she could do anything about it, one of her friends came running up to her looking like they might faint.

Being the concerned, good-hearted person she was, Susan rushed over to her friend. Realizing she was hyperventilating, she handed her a paper bag.

"I think I'm in love." Her friend moaned in-between deep breaths into the bag following by gasping sounds and crinkling noises.

Not because she wanted to gossip, but because she was honestly concerned, Susan gently asked her who it was.

"He's younger than me." Her friend admitted sheepishly.

"That's okay." Susan patted her on the shoulder. "Who is it?"

"Promise you wont think it's weird?" Her friend asked hesitantly.

"I promise." She assured her, taking a sip of what she hoped was just regular fruit punch while she spoke.

"It's your younger brother."

"What?" Susan did a spit-take and choked on the remainder of the punch.

Edmund's voice cutting into the story: "One of your friends is in love with me?"

Peter's voice cutting in teasingly in a sing-songy tone: "Edmund's got a girl friend...Edmund's got a girlfriend..."

Susan's voice answering them: "Cut it out!"

Edmund's voice: "What does she look like, your friend I mean?"

Susan's voice: "Ed!"

Edmund's voice: "It's not the one with the unibrow is it?"

Susan's voice: "It doesn't matter!"

Edmund's voice: "Yes, actually, it really does."

Susan's voice: "Fine. If you must know, no, it is not the girl with the unibrow."

Peter's voice: "I wouldn't write her off, Ed. She'd probably be rather good-looking if she ever discovered tweezers."

Susan's voice: "Boys, I think I've been very tolerant."

Edmund's voice: "Sorry."

Right when Susan was about to tell her apparently demented friend to seek help immediately, Peter rushed down the stairs.

"Who is that?" Susan's friend gasped in a dreamy voice.

"That would be my other brother." Susan winced, noticing the look on his face. "And he seems peeved."

Her friend started breathing into the bag again.

Edmund's voice cutting in briefly: "Thanks a lot, Pete."

Peter's voice: "Me? What did I do? All I did was walk down the stairs."

Edmund's voice: "Now Susan's friend likes you and not me!"

Susan's voice (getting rather huffy by this point): "You don't even know her!"

Edmund's voice: "And now I never will."

Peter rushed over to the radio and turned it off. "I want you all out of my house now!"

"Hey, mate, that's so not how we roll!" One rather large-boned guy snapped at him, cracking his knuckles.

Peter let out a whimper as the boy and his friends grabbed him and hurled him into a closet. "Meep."

Right away, Susan rushed over to the closet to rescue her brother but just as her hand reached for the knob, she heard a voice behind her.

"Phyllis? Is that you?"

"Um, no?" Susan instantly turned around and raced up the stairs.

End of Susan's story

"So as you can see from my story," Susan finished calmly. "I am completely innocent; I spent pretty much the whole party hiding from that weird boy who thinks my name is 'Phyllis'."

"You could have let me out of the closet first." Peter grumbled, picking up a half-eaten bag of raisins from under the couch wondering why some of them were moving.

"And I thought Peter's story was pathetic." Edmund chuckled, shaking his head as he tied yet another garbage bag shut.

AN: Please review.