When we arrived back at Downton, I knew I had to talk to Mary more. You see, it wasn't that I had just heard her defend me in the drawing room. I had heard her entire argument with Sir Richard that followed it, since they had been arguing in the room right next to my own. I needed to clear the air with Mary as it really made me realise how I had made Mary feel. To make her think that she was to blame for Lavinia's death and that we were cursed was wrong of me to say and I had basically given her fiancé something he could use to his advantage to emotionally torture her.

'Mary, we really need to talk…' I started but she shook her head.

'Not now Matthew, I need to change out of my riding clothes,' she said before wordlessly sweeping her fragile frame up the stairs and out of sight. I sighed, knowing that she was trying to avoid me. But I needed to find out what was going on, so I followed her. I knocked on her bedroom door and opened it slightly.

'Mary?' I called out and I peeked around the corner, to see that she was not there. I sighed before retiring to my own room.

It was the evening the next time I saw Mary and Sir Richard had returned, claiming that he would rather spend time with his fiancé rather than at work and I decided to watch how the two interacted, because something just wasn't right, I could feel it in my bones.

'We need some entertainment!' Cousin Robert cried out, breaking me from my thoughts. I glanced over at Mary and her fiance and noticed that Sir Richard was watching me.

'Mary would be delighted to entertain, I'm sure,' he said, smirking at me, 'my beautiful fiancé has the most wonderful voice,' Richard said and I looked at Mary who glared daggers at Richard and I watched him push Mary up, 'Edith, go and accompany Mary,'

Edith stood up and walked over to the large harp in the corner of the room and Mary followed her, drifting pass me. She smelt of lavender and she walked so gracefully, carrying herself with pride that I could not take my eyes off of her. Edith began to play and Mary began to sing, her voice so enchanting it put a spell on me almost immediately.

'Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
He once was a true love of mine

Tell him to make me a cambric shirt
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Without no seams nor needle work
Then he'll be a true love of mine

Tell him to find me an acre of land,

Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

Between salt water and the sea strands

Then he'll be a true love of mine

Tell him to reap it with a sickle of leather
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
And gather it all in a bunch of heather
Then he'll be a true love of mine

Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
He once was a true love of mine'

Everyone clapped at her performance, including myself and she curtseyed before everyone before humbly sitting down next to Richard, who placed a hand on her knee and kissed her cheek. Suddenly I got up and walked over to the window. Their affection reminded me of what Lavinia and I would have had when we married. Suddenly I felt a presence behind me and turned to see Cousin Violet standing there.

'Cousin Violet,' I smiled at her.

'Do not pretend that you a hurt by what you see Matthew,' she said and I opened my mouth to talk but she cut me off, 'I was watching you back there and you could not take your eyes off Mary. You know as well as I that the spark between you has not gone and although you may try to deny it, we both know you are in love with Mary. I cannot really tell you about love, for I married to keep the nobility in my family, my son following in my footsteps. Luckily enough he managed to find love with Cora but after a year of marriage. When you look at Mary and Sir Richard, do you see love? Do you see happiness?' she asked me and I turned to look at them and suddenly it became evidently clear that Mary was not as happy as I thought she was. She sat stiffly next to Richard with a forced smile on her face and her eyes gave away that she wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

'No, I…'

'Do not live in the past Matthew, Miss Swire was a lovely girl and we were all very fond of her but while you may think that she was the one giving everything up for you, it was Mary who sat beside you whilst you were not in a fit state of mind, it was she that cleared all your wounds, mopped up all your blood when you first arrived, she was there all the time. Do not condemn her to a life of misery Matthew, only you can change that. She has suffered enough, and if she marries Richard, she will suffer her whole life because he has her under his control, Mary tells me everything.'

'What has she suffered? How is she under his control! What is going on?' I gasped; firing questions at her and Violet smiled sadly at me and shook her head.

'It is not my place to tell you I'm afraid, Matthew, but I can tell you that the reason she is suffering is the same reason as why she rejected you. She did not care for money, or titles, she cared about you and Sir Richard knows. She is trapped,' she said before patting my shoulder and returning to the chattering crowd in the room. I sighed and followed her before engaging myself in conversation with Edith.

'Dinner is ready m'lord,' Carson's voice boomed suddenly, making me jump and we all got up and went to the dining room. I had been seated next to Mary and she acted as if I wasn't there, talking only to Richard, her parents and cousin Violet.

'Why do you love her?' Edith asked me quietly and I looked at her, ignoring the cheery laughs of the others at the dinner table.

'What?' I said, looking at her with shock.

'I must speak with you later cousin Matthew,' Edith said before smiling and striking up a conversation with Sybil.

Edith kept true to her word and asked me to join her in the library and I saw Mary glance suspiciously at her as she shut the door.

'Why do you love her?' she repeated and I half laughed before realising that she was entirely serious.

'I do not love Mary, Cousin Edith. Not anymore,' I said but I knew inside that I was lying to not only Edith but also to myself.

'Cousin Matthew, I have seen the way you look her, especially when she sang. Mary is engaged, you cannot give her hope,' Edith said and I narrowed my eyes.

'I have not given Mary any hope Edith, none at all. In fact, I told her nothing could ever happen between us at Lavinia's funeral and she agreed with me. I told her that we were cursed and I could never be happy. I will honour Lavinia, even if it means that I never marry and produce an heir to Downton.' I snapped and Edith raised her eyebrows.

'I do not care for your lies to me Matthew, only for the lies you tell yourself. But I must warn you that Mary is not the person she makes out to be, she has a large web of secrets underneath her cool composure and icy exterior. I fear she will be like a caged butterfly in her marriage to Sir Richard,' Edith said.

'A caged butterfly?' I questioned and she nodded.

'Mary, with no doubt, is definitely the daughter that has the best looks and she has many suitors. But she also is headstrong and wild, although many do not see it. She cannot be contained and she will drive herself to insanity if she remains in the controlling relationship she has with Carlisle,' Edith sighed, 'so I will ask again, why do you love her?'

I struggled to find words, 'because she's my Mary,' I whispered and Edith smiled.

'Then don't let her get away,' Edith grinned and I nodded before returning to the drawing room with her. Mary was sitting on the sofa stiffly, looking a little pale which concerned me as her complexion was similar to what Lavinia had had.

'Lady Mary, are you quite alright?' I asked, biting my lip slightly.

'Actually, I'm feeling a bit under the weather. Perhaps it was the pheasant we had for dinner, I must have got the off part. If you'll excuse me,' Mary stood up but almost fell over. Richard pulled her back down.

'Mary, you must not leave, it would be very impolite,' he said and I frowned as I watched her resume her position next to Richard. Everyone exchanged glances of concern and worry and I sat as close as I could to Mary, just keeping an eye on her. After half an hour of watching her try to remain awake and fight off what looked like a terrible headache, I stood up.

'I am going to escort Mary to her room because I don't know about anyone else, but I am concerned for her health.' I said firmly, walking over to Mary and helping her up. She could barely stand and her knees gave way onto me almost immediately. I bent down and picked her up so she lay in my arms like a bride.

'Mr Crawley, I should be the one to escort my fiancé to her room,' Richard said to me, his eyes gleaming with anger.

'I'm sure it will be ok for me to take her, Edith, will you accompany me please?' I said and Edith jumped up and opened the doors for me as I carried Mary to her room. She was shivering now and her skin was very hot and I was extremely worried. 'Edith, call for Doctor Clarkson,' I ordered and she hastily ran out as I sat down beside Mary.

'Don't worry Mary,' I whispered, 'everything will be fine,' I said holding her hand, 'Dr Clarkson will be here soon and he'll make you well again,'

'Really Matthew, I just need a bit of sleep and I shall be right as rain,' she said, laughing weakly.

'Mary…' I started but we were suddenly interrupted by people bursting into the room and I instinctively dropped her hand.

'Dr Clarkson is on his way Mary, he should be with us shortly,' Cousin Cora said, taking the seat beside me. Edith handed me my cane and I smiled gratefully at her before looking back at Mary who was pale and weak. Richard was also present and stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed.

'Well what's the matter with her?' he asked and Cora sighed.

'We don't know Sir Richard, that's why Dr Clarkson is on his way and if anyone can find out what is wrong with her, he can,' Cora said softly and Richard sat beside Mary and took her hand and kissed it.

'Get well soon my darling,' he said softly and I noted his iron grip on her hand and the lack of emotion her face had in it. Moments passed before Clarkson entered.

'First off, I need everybody except two of you out of the room please, so choose amongst yourselves who will go and who will stay,' Clarkson said and just as Richard opened his mouth to speak, Mary's voice could distinctly be heard.

'Matthew,' The whole room went silent and I became very aware of people's eyes gazing at me. I looked at Mary, who licked her dry lips and inhaled deeply, all the while keeping her eyes closed, 'Matthew and Mother,' she said and Clarkson clapped his hands.

'Lady Mary has made her choice, now I would kindly ask that you all please leave the room,' Clarkson said and I resumed my actions of taking Mary's hands as Clarkson examined her.

'Well Clarkson?' Cora asked, holding her daughter's other hand.

'I'm afraid it's not good news Lady Grantham,' he sighed, 'it appears that Lady Mary has come down with the Spanish Flu. She has an accelerated pulse rate, she's showing symptoms and Mary was around the late Miss Swire a lot and she may have contracted the disease through her but it has just taken its time to show. The disease itself is tricky, it can be slow or quick to progress and can get better or worse within hours. My colleagues and I suspect it has something to do with a person's immune system because, from the persons we have seen with the Spanish flu, the younger ones tend to pass on. The stronger their immune systems, the higher chance of death because they go into overdrive and just give out. Mr Crawley, I would suggest that you be very careful,' Clarkson said and I felt the blood drain from my face. I couldn't go through this again. Losing Lavinia had been a great loss and had filled me with guilt but deep down I knew that it had been Mary I always loved, that was why I had kissed her, that was why I was with her now, 'you were right to call me in. We must hope for the best and pray that Lady Mary's life will not be claimed.'

'Thank you Clarkson, go out and tell the others and I will have a room made up for you. Do not let my daughter die Dr Clarkson,' Cora said and Clarkson sighed.

'I'm sorry my Lady, but I don't have the power over life or death, I'm afraid,' he said before leaving, Cora following behind.

'Matthew,' Mary said, her voice sounding similar to Lavinia's, raspy and weak as if her throat were closing up.

'I'm here Mary,' I whispered.

'Don't leave me, please don't leave me. I couldn't bear to die alone,' she said, a tear rolling down her cheek and I shook my head and gripped her hand tighter.

'I will never leave you Mary,' I whispered and I pressed my lips to her hand, 'just don't give up and fight this, you're strong and I believe in you.'

RxR please :D was pretty sad I only got 1 review. If you want to listen to the song is 'Scarborough Fair' by Amy Nuttall :3