A/N: Even though I hit the Complete button when I was posting Chapter One, I didn't realize it didn't take. So, I guess that means I'm exchanging a silly OS for a Two. ~Calla
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Staring at the two bottles sitting on the bar, Jane contemplated his next move. From the look in Lisbon's eyes, she knew he was crashing her space. How she felt about that was anyone's guess. He wasn't quite sure by the look on her face. While they had a dinner date after work tomorrow, he wasn't stupid enough to think that meant she wanted personal interaction today. He doubted he'd get much in the way of "personal interaction" tomorrow either. Not considering Lisbon was still angry with him.
A good meal and some passable company…he could see that happening…anything more…not likely.
Well, he wasn't sure he wanted that anything more right now anyway. Yes, he was, and he did. He was a man and he loved her. But, lusting after his lover didn't change the fact he wasn't too happy with her either. Lisbon wasn't being all that reasonable at the moment. Not all things considered. She wasn't even trying to see things his way. Or understand where he was coming from. If she was she wouldn't be so stubborn.
She'd meet him halfway; but, she wasn't.
Jane conveniently forgot he wasn't exactly meeting her half way either. Lisbon was determined to remain a cop and he was determined she wasn't. If he had his way, she'd hand in her two weeks notice and they'd hit the road. There were some pretty jamming places to see this time of year. But, he doubted that was going to happen. He knew it wasn't. They were staying exactly where they were and he might as well get used to it. To that and the fact they both had pretty irrational fears neither of them were willing to part with. Ones like Lisbon was scared of losing the only identity she'd ever had and he was scared of losing her to that identity. Literally.
Personally, he thought it was enough he'd almost lost her to Pike without all the rest.
He'd come too close in fact. Close enough he'd made a fool of himself in public. Not that he hadn't done that before, he had. Just never to get the girl. Oh, and he'd gotten the girl all right. Lisbon had nearly killed him before they ever left Islamorada. Not that he was complaining. There had been a lot of pent up passion in both of them.
What had turned him on his ear was the one thing he couldn't ignore.
The desperation of the moment made it crystal clear they were moving way too fast for him. While he'd known he loved Lisbon, was madly in love with her, he'd yet to make a single plan for keeping the girl. While not that big of a deal on cases where he excelled at pulling rabbits out of hats in the nick of time, flying blind in his current situation wasn't nearly as tenable.
One wrong move could cost him everything and that wasn't a thought he could handle.
While he might not know exactly where Lisbon fit into his existence beyond sharing his heart and his bed, he couldn't imagine living his life without her. He'd been through that hell a couple of times already and he didn't like it. Not one bit. Watching a bead roll down the long necked bottle, Jane rethought his stance. Maybe he had an inkling of what he wanted from Lisbon. Of where she fit beyond what they currently had. Maybe it would be more truthful to say he was clueless if he was ready for such a thing and, if he was, he was equally clueless about going about getting it given their current impasse. Maybe that made more sense.
He thought it did.
Glancing at Lisbon one last time, Jane motioned for Casey to pour him a stiff Bourbon. While mixing alcohols might not be the smartest move, he needed something stronger than a beer before he cornered the lioness in her den. Taking the glass in hand, he took a healthy slug before setting the half empty drink back on the bar. As reluctant as he was to admit such a thing, Lisbon had proven more difficult to read once they became intimate. She was doing and saying things he never saw coming. She'd always maintained he didn't know her as well as he thought and he'd always proven her wrong. Now she kept changing the game and proving him wrong. He wasn't sure he liked it; but, he did find those occasions she genuinely surprised him refreshing.
It was rare that anyone got one over on him and Lisbon was proving herself more adept than most.
What he didn't like was how recent events were making him feel. Like the nightmare could happen again. He'd come too close to losing Lisbon when that jail break went awry. They'd both known the truth even if she'd tried to pretend it wasn't that bad. Just another day on the job. Who was she trying to fool? She'd be pushing up daisies if he hadn't pulled a Jane stunt that could have gotten them both killed. If that wasn't enough, the last murderous psycho was almost more than they could handle. It wouldn't have taken much for things to turn really bad.
That hadn't happened so he wasn't going there.
Draining his glass and peeling off enough money to settle his tab, Jane grabbed the two beers before walking across the room to slide into the secluded booth beside Lisbon without bothering to ask her permission. Watching her stiffen at his audacity he proferred her favorite beer to restore the peace. Lifting a brow in disbelief Lisbon silently conveyed, while she'd accept the beer, she wasn't that easy.
He was still tops on her **it list and booze wasn't changing that.
"You look like hell." Jane said softly.
"Don't let it bother you." Taking a hearty drag from her bottle, Lisbon ignored his presence.
"Don't be this way." Jane stroked her arm not caring if anyone saw him. In fact, he was pretty sure Cho was doing just that: watching his every move. If he didn't miss his guess, Abbott was doing the same. "I've already said I'm sorry."
"Yeah, and you negated it by saying you'd do it all over again." Lisbon reminded him.
"I did say that." Jane agreed. "And I probably would."
"What do you want me to say?" Lisbon asked. "That it's okay for you to interfere with my work?"
"I know that isn't going to happen." Jane lifted his bottle to his lips trying to ignore the way her eyes involuntarily went to his finger.
He'd have to be a fool not to see Lisbon's pique went a lot deeper than just his desire to keep her safe. Although she hadn't said a word, she'd been staring at his ring a lot lately when she thought he wasn't looking. Unfortunately, due to the man he was and the life he'd led, he had eyes in the back of his head. He'd noted those stares weren't exactly happy and sensed another cloud forming on the horizon.
One he intended to ignore as long as he could.
It wasn't like she hadn't come to his bed with the ring on his finger. It wasn't like she'd said anything then or since. She hadn't. Just had those moody moments when he'd read the thoughts in her head. While he knew wearing his wedding band wasn't fair to Lisbon, he wasn't ready to give it up. Not just because of the memories. Because he'd been wearing the band so long he felt naked and vulnerable without it. Because somewhere along the way, it had become a part of him. Because he'd never have met his future without the past it represented. Because, deep inside, the man he used to be would never forget the life he used to have or the wife and child who'd inhabited it.
If Lisbon believed differently, she was in for a rude surprise. But, she wasn't because she wasn't that kind of woman. She'd proven that time and again.
She didn't expect him to forget his slain wife and child and she didn't expect him to stop loving them. She did expect him to move on which he had to a certain degree. He'd moved on enough to tell her he loved her. He'd moved on enough to take her to his bed. He'd moved on enough to start building a tenuous life with her. He'd moved on enough to indicate he saw them together for years to come. He'd moved on enough to be surprised and elated when she'd admitted to loving him.
He just hadn't moved on enough to give her what she truly wanted…The damned ring off his finger.
While he couldn't give her that, he could throw Lisbon a pretty substantial crumb…One meaningful enough to smooth things over until he figured out how to make things right….
"How about I promise not to pull any more stunts if you promise not to take unnecessary risks?" Jane ignored the snort conveying the only unnecessary risks she'd taken lately were his. "It's the best I can do."
"Don't make promises you won't keep." Lisbon rolled her bottle between her palms. "It'll only make things worse in the long run. You know I can't work with you if I can't trust you. I don't want that to happen."
"Neither do I." Jane agreed. "I'm not making promises I don't intend to keep so what do you say?"
"What do you want me to say?" Lisbon gave him the first real half smile he'd gotten in two days.
"How about you'll come home with me tonight after we show Abbott and Cho how it's done?" Jane watched her smile disappear and knew it wasn't because he'd suggested they hang out a little longer. It was because he'd suggested going to his place. Actually, it was their place since the only time Lisbon was at her place was when they weren't getting along which hadn't really happened before now. "Teresa, I'm not asking you to act like everything's all right between us and I'm certainly not asking you for sex. I'm asking you to let me hold you and get that good night's sleep that's eluded both of us for a couple of days. I don't think that's too much to ask."
Giving his words serious thought, Lisbon finally nodded her assent. "We can do that."
"Good." Jane stood up and drew her to her feet. "What do you say to that game? Cho and Abbott are expecting it."
"That we might as well get it done." Lisbon grabbed her half empty beer before halting Jane with her hand. "About the other, I'm trusting you won't let me down."
"I won't." Jane promised before signalling Cho they were coming to play.
Watching Abbott head from the bar towards the pool tables, Jane eyeballed his favorite cue hanging on the wall. Taking it from the holder, he watched Cho rack the balls as Lisbon silently finished her beer. Watching everyone assume their places, Jane realized he was as eager as the rest of their party to get things rolling. But, for entirely different reasons. While everyone including Lisbon were eager for the challenge, he was eager to finish so they could go.
It had been two days too long since Lisbon was home.