Author's Note: Wow. I don't think any of my stories or chapters have gotten so many views or visitors in less than a week so huge thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, followed, or even just peeked into to this story. Glad to see I'm not the only one who wanted to explore how this thing could have gone down.

I felt so bad for both Matt and Gabby on Thursday, but glad they seemed to work it out in the end. Was it just me though or was the lighting off when they showed Gabby's arms against Matt's back at the end? Her left hand looked so much lighter than her right that at first I thought it was Matt's hand, but he would have had to somehow awkwardly wrap his hand back around to his back and he would have had to have three hands since they also showed both of his hands on her back. Unless they shot the embrace a few different ways and edited it together strangely.

Anyways, this is my take on fitting part of the episode into my world. Once again it was not intended to be its own chapter, not even half of a chapter, but as it got longer and longer, I decided it would work well on its own. At this point, I have no idea how many chapters this is going to be, but I still want to keep this as a shorter story, definitely not the sort of long term venture I have going with Worth Fighting For. And Coconut, unfortunately I do not have most the story written. When I published on Monday, I had the first scene of this chapter written but nothing more, and I now have the first 1500ish words of the next chapter written but nothing more. I do have pretty much the whole plot outlined in my head, but I'm apparently fleshing it out a lot a more when I turn it into words on a computer screen. And at this point, while this story is flowing really well, I'm thinking it makes sense to split my attention between this story and Worth Fighting For so that I hopefully go months without an update there again.

That's all I have for now so sit back, relax, enjoy, and when you get to the end, please let me know what you thought.

Chapter Two

Gabby stayed rooted to her spot until Matt's truck was out of sight and then for a couple extra minutes while she tried to collect herself. Matt had taken a left at the first light just like he'd do if he was going home. He wouldn't have turned for a couple more blocks if he was going to Severide's. While that didn't necessarily mean he was going home and not somewhere else to get drunk, she took it as a good sign. She didn't believe for a minute that having to pick something up for his construction job tomorrow was anything more than an excuse to leave, not when he didn't have to be there until the afternoon.

"Hermann," she called as she returned inside.

"Yeah," he looked up from where he was standing behind the bar.

"Something's come up. Can you handle everything on your own tonight?" Gabby asked. She just wanted to go home and hopefully see Matt, to explain and try to get him to listen to her. It was clear he'd been more than hurt when he'd left, and all she cared about right now was being able to make things right.

"Sure," Hermann replied. It was pretty busy, and he suspected he'd come to regret it later, but while he'd been on the other side of the room, he'd heard what had been said earlier. He was pretty sure the whole bar had, and judging by what had happened next, he was pretty sure he knew what was going on so of course he wasn't going to stand in the way. They were both his friends, and he was pretty sure that if they hadn't worked things out in a few days, and his captain showed up for work in a bad mood, it wasn't going to be a fun shift.

"Thanks," Gabby called as headed to the back room to grab her bag and coat before heading home.

Watching her walk away, Jake couldn't help but smile before turning to talk to Atkins. This may not have been how he intended things to go, but it looked like it may just work out in his favor. Sure things might get a little more difficult for him at 51 now that Casey knew the truth. Considering that he hated the fact that Casey knew what Gabby looked like naked, Casey must be feeling the same way about him right now. And before long Casey would probably know exactly why Gabby had left him. All of that was going to count against him, but things were already difficult for him at 51. No one other than Gabby seemed to want him there.

And considering the look on Casey's face as he'd processed what Atkins had said and the way he'd stormed out of here. The fact that Gabby had returned alone and now leaving, indicating that Casey had truly left. Those were all good signs. Gabby may have kept their past from her husband for less than a week, but it was enough. The cracks in their relationship were relationship were already forming. That was worth celebrating.

"Let me buy you a drink," he offered Atkins.

When Gabby pulled into the parking lot outside her apartment building, she was relieved to see Matt's truck parked in it's usual spot. She pulled into her own spot and then headed inside.

"Matt," she called as she walked into their apartment. The lights were on so it didn't look like he had simply dropped his truck off and then left again. Only just like at Molly's, she didn't get any response.

"Matt," she tried again to no avail as she got further into the apartment.

When she made it to the living room, she finally saw him. If she hadn't already figured out that she screwed up in keeping silent, she would have definitely known it now. He was sitting on the couch, beer in hand, and staring off into space. She couldn't tell if he was actually drinking the beer or just holding it.

"Hey," she said as she tentatively approached. Matt didn't acknowledge her though, and she wasn't sure if he was so lost in he thought he wasn't hearing or if he was just determined to ignore her. Sitting down she, tried to take his free hand in hers, but he shook her off. Definitely ignoring her.

Taking a deep breath, she prepared to speak. On the drive home, she had tried to figure out what she was going to say. When that failed, she decided that she had no choice but to just speak and let everything come out however it came out. Beyond the fact that he was clearly pissed at her, she had no idea what Matt made of the fact that she and Cordova had dated. She didn't even know what sort of scenarios were running through his head or how he'd interpreted Atkins's comment. But he knew there was more to her history with Jake than she'd admitted to so she had to tell him everything. There was no more putting it off, no more hiding from her past.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

"What's there to talk about?" Matt retorted. "I know exactly what's going on. The floater's your ex, something I deserved to know, and you chose not to tell me. Not just that that. You chose to lie to me about your history with him. If you hadn't, you would have said something before I found out from some stranger."

"I didn't lie. We did work several shifts together when I was finishing up my training. I just," she paused and then sighed. "I just. I held something back, and I shouldn't have. I know that now, but when you first met him, that wasn't the place to say it."

"Cause there's really much of a difference, especially when you had plenty of chances to say something," Matt protested. "And your relationship was obviously a big deal. Why else would he have always avoided Molly's because of you? If someone you had a serious relationship with is going to be in our lives and work for me, I think I have a right to know what's going on there."

"Trust me it wasn't serious or a big deal. It was barely a blip. And if he really was avoiding Molly's because of me, I'm sure he was just worried I'd punch him again," Gabby started to explain.

"And I could tell there was something more there. I'm sure that's why he was avoiding Molly's," it wasn't clear if Matt was trying to argue against what she'd just said or if he hadn't really heard it. "The way he greeted you. How he was looking at you. But I figured if there really was something there, you would have said something, that you would have had the decency and respect to be honest with me. I trusted you so when you didn't, I figured I was just imagining things. Guess I was a fool. Should have just listened to my instincts. Won't make that mistake again."

"Of course you can trust me Matt," Gabby said, but the look Matt was giving her indicated that at least in the moment, he didn't believe her. "Matt, you, this," she held up her wedding ring, "That's everything to me. You have to know that I would never intentionally keep something important from you or do something that would hurt you. I know I screwed up here and that I did those things, and I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what you did or sorry that you got caught?" Matt asked angrily.

Gabby was taken aback by his words and his tone. She knew she'd hurt him, but she had never expected this reaction. In all the years they'd been together, all the fights they'd had, she could count on one hand the times he'd lashed out at her like this. He shut down. He ran a way. They both did if she was being honest, but they rarely acted with such venom. It hit her hard to realize just how deeply she had hurt him.

"All of it. I'm sorry I sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry you found out the way you did, and I'm sorry that those things hurt you the way they did. If I could go back and change things, I would," she admitted. "I can't though. All I can do is try to make this right, and I'll do whatever it takes because nothing it more important. I'll keep saying that. I'll keep saying I'm sorry. I'll keep saying whatever you need me to say for however long it takes.

"You have to know that there is absolutely nothing between Cordova and me. There hasn't been in a long time if there ever really was in the first place," she continued. "And my not telling you about what happened between us has absolutely nothing to do with me and him or you and me. It's about me, and only me. I've never told anyone the real story about what happened between the two of us, and I figured I never would. I was hoping I would never have to, and I knew I couldn't just tell you part of the story or what I told everyone else. If I told you, it was going to have to be the whole truth. It was all or nothing, and I didn't mean to choose nothing. I kept intending to tell you, but every time I tried I just couldn't. I don't really know why. If I was worried about how you'd react or if I'm still too ashamed about the whole thing to be able to talk about it or if after being silent for so long I just don't know how. None of that matters now because I finally see that it doesn't matter how hard it is for me, I need to get the words out. I'm going to do whatever I have to in order to just force the words out, no matter how long it takes. If I have to sit here all night trying to tell you everything, that's what I'll do. I just hope you'll listen.

"Here goes," she paused and took a deep breath. "I first met Cordova when I was doing the training shifts to finish up my CFD paramedic certification. I spent two weeks with second watch on Ambulance 30 out of Firehouse 129. Cordova was a second or third year firefighter on Truck there. Not really sure which. We got to talking on my first shift, and we must have hit it off because when I came back for the next shift, he pulled me aside and asked me out. I turned him down. He asked me out several more times until I finally agreed to a date just to get him to stop asking me. I had a good time though and wound up agreeing to a second date a few days later and then a third. Before I knew it, we were seeing each other practically every day we weren't on shift. Well, every weekday at least. I was having a lot of fun. I liked him, or at least who I thought he was. I never reached the point where I thought I was in love with him, but I stupidly thought the relationship actually had the potential to get there. The whole thing lasted I think about two months. It was so long ago, and it didn't end well. The specifics aren't something I've really remembered. The point is it wasn't some big, long-term, grand love story. Until he showed up at 51, I'm not even sure when the last time I thought of him was. I figured he was out of my life for good. I wanted it that way.

"Then when he did show up, I was caught off guard. I didn't know what to say or how I should react so I just tried to play it cool. Things were already so tense. We were all so worried about Otis. Everyone already hated Cordova simply because he's not Otis. You were concerned about how things were going to go before you even met the guy. If I said everything, that would have just given people another reason to hate him."

"That's an excuse for not telling the everyone. Not a reason not to have hold me," Matt finally said something. "Whatever happened between the two of you wasn't the house's business, but it was mine."

"I know. I should have pulled you aside and told you everything," Gabby replied. "Instead I told myself that it wasn't a big deal. That he was only going to be here for a few shifts, and then he'd be gone. He wasn't really part of our lives, and if that was true then some minor fling from over a decade ago didn't matter. I was convinced the whole thing wasn't a big deal so what was the point in bringing it up? Maybe I was just trying to justify not telling you."

"Quit making excuses Gabby. If things were reversed, if Brett was out and you got partnered with my ex, wouldn't you have expected me to tell you, no matter how short or long the relationship was or how long she was going to be there?" Matt countered.

"I'm not trying to make excuses for why I didn't tell you. I'm trying to explain that I was making excuses not to tell you when he first showed up. And I'm not saying that it was right. It obviously wasn't, but you need to understand where I was coming from," Gabby argued.

"If you're not making excuses, you're at least stalling," Matt pointed out.

"Maybe I am. I told you that this wasn't going to be easy for me to say and that I didn't know how to say any of it," she really hoped he wasn't about to walk away. "I thought I was over all of it. I mean between when I ended things with him and when we got together the first time, I had several relationships that were a lot more meaningful when they were going on than what Cordova and I had. And now I have this wonderful life with a husband I love with all my heart. As far as I'm concerned, Cordova's just a misstep on the road that led me to you. There is no doubt in my mind that I'm over him, but he left me feeling hurt and ashamed. Maybe I'm not really over those feelings."

Despite his hurt and anger, Matt couldn't entirely resist his need to comfort her when whatever she was trying to ultimately tell him had clearly been a difficult experience for her, and he reached for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze and holding it tight. Gabby felt reassured by the gesture. While she knew it didn't change how much she had hurt him or how badly she had screwed up, it was still good to see that no matter what he was on her side. Not that it was a license to put them in this situation again.

"I know it's not an excuse either, but once Chief said that Cordova would be sticking around, I did realize that it didn't matter if I thought it was a big deal or not, you needed to know. And I tried to tell you. I did. In your office yesterday when you were you thanking me for welcoming Cordova," Gabby started again after a minute or so of silence, where she'd wondered if Matt was going to say something.

There was a part of Matt, the part that wanted to simply react to how hurt he was, that wanted to snap at that last part and make some comment about the possibility that she was really only welcoming because of her past with Cordova and what the man must have meant to her. But while he still didn't really know what that past entailed, the words she was using seemed to indicate that her past with Cordova was the last thing that would have made her want to welcome the man to 51, and with that knowledge he couldn't bring himself to actually say it anymore than his anger would allow him to fully listen to the part of him that just wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her that whatever Cordova had done to her was okay.

"But then we heard Kidd telling Severide about the pizza and the moment was gone. I tried a few times earlier today to, but I just kept freezing. Told myself that I just didn't know how to tell you and that I needed time to figure out what to say. Maybe that was just another excuse and all I was really trying to do was protect myself, but I wasn't trying to keep something from you or hurt you. Those were the last things I wanted to do," Gabby continued.

"You're right. You did have a right to know that I'd dated Cordova, and you have a right to know why it's something I struggle to talk to about," she paused and took a deep breath. "I told you that we dated for about two months and that he hurt me and that I've never told anyone what really happened. When we broke up, I told everyone who knew I had a boyfriend that it was because he cheated on me. That didn't seem like a lie or anything, but it wasn't the whole story. I was ashamed and embarrassed and didn't want to admit what had really happened. I didn't want people judging me or realizing that I was an idiot.

"There's a lot about my relationship with Cordova that I don't really remember. Between how long it's been and the fact that I wanted to forget it, it's mostly a blur, but unfortunately, I remember the morning I found out what was really going on really well. I was a fully certified paramedic and had a permanent ambo spot at that point. I wasn't back at 129 or anything. I started at Firehouse 44 and then came to 51 after a few years so Cordova and I weren't working together anymore or anything. When I look back, I don't think he would have asked me out if I was going to wind up at 129 permanently. It would have been harder to hide the truth from me if I was going to be there.

"I know I'm stalling again…We had planned to meet at my place that morning, and we did. He got there from 129 maybe half an hour after I got there from 44. We had breakfast, and then we had sex. Afterwards, we were still in bed, fooling around when my mom called. I wound up having to shoo him out of the bed because it was hard to have a conversation with her while he was playing with me," Gabby couldn't help examining Matt's face as she spoke. His lips were pressed together as if he was trying really hard not to picture her and Cordova in bed together.

"He headed into the bathroom, and it was clear that I was supposed to join him afterwards. When I got off the phone, I he asked me to grab something out of his bag while he started the shower. That was his big mistake. There was a jewelry box in there, and I figured he was trying to surprise me with a gift so I opened it. Inside was a really beautiful diamond necklace and matching bracelet. I was looking them over, really happy, when I noticed the inscription on the bracelet. Jake and Diana – 5 Years," her tone turned bitter. "At that point I started going through the rest of his bag. Hidden in a side pocket was a picture of him with his arms around a tall, thin red head, big smiles on both of their faces and a card to Diana. As if the bracelet didn't make things clear enough, the card definitely did. Diana was his real girlfriend, his long-term girlfriend, and I was just his piece on the side. He didn't cheat on me. He cheated with me.

"I handled it the way any angry, scorned woman would. I put on a bathrobe and then took his clothes and his bag and threw them out in the hall, down the hall really, near the stairs. There were three apartments per floor in the building I was living in at the time, and I was living in the farthest one from the stairs, and there was a very prim and proper spinster living in one of the other apartments. I was hoping she'd get an eyeful and call the cops on him for public indecency. No such luck though. Anyways, after I'd gotten rid of his stuff, I went to confront him with the picture and the card. At first, he didn't see what must have been an extremely pissed off look on my face. All he saw was the bathrobe, and before I could even start yelling at him, he was trying to take it off me so I kneed him in the balls. That was fun, and I think he got the message. I yelled at him about what I'd found and even ripped up the picture and the card. He couldn't even come up with a good excuse. Just kept saying that I was gorgeous and that he really liked me, claimed that he thought he was falling in love with me. Never bought it though. I'm pretty sure he just wanted to keep fucking me, that to him that's all the whole thing was.

"He kept trying to call me for a month or so after that, leaving messages begging me to take him back and describing all the ways he wanted to touch me. He was basically having phone sex with my voicemail. I only answered a few times just to tell him that I never wanted to see him again, that it's be a cold day in hell before he ever got to touch me again, and that he needed to stop calling. He only showed up at my apartment once though, begging me to let him explain and to let him inside, the way he was talking it sounded more like he meant inside me than inside the apartment, and he didn't even have the courtesy to return the towel he'd stolen from my bathroom when I kicked him out. That was when I punched him in the face. Pretty sure I gave him a black eye. Wonder how he explained that to his girlfriend. Until the other day, I hadn't seen or spoken to him since."

"You deserve better," Matt couldn't help but say.

He didn't understand it. What was wrong with this guy that he would have just been using Gabby for sex? Sure, Matt knew first hand how incredible sex with Gabby was. It was one of his favorite pastimes. He couldn't imagine ever wanting that part of their relationship to end, but even as hurt and angry as he was right now, he couldn't imagine wanting any part of their relationship to end because Gabby was so much more than her skills in the bedroom. And yes, she was gorgeous on the outside, but she was even more gorgeous on the inside. She was an absolutely amazing person. How could not see that? How could someone see her as nothing more than a sex toy and only want the physical with her? How could someone know her and not want more?

"I lied to everyone about what had happened because I didn't want people judging me or realizing how much of a fool I was because I was. I was such an idiot about the whole thing. There were so many signs that I just didn't see. The whole relationship was just hot and heavy. We never did romance, and we didn't do a lot of getting to know you, just hanging out type stuff even though we saw each other all the time. We mostly just had sex. I never met anyone of his friends, unless some of the guys from 129 count, and I only knew them because I worked a few shifts with them. We never spent time with them when we were together. As much as we saw each other, it was only during the week. Never on a weekend, and he never stayed the night. In hindsight it was obviously because being with me while his girlfriend was at work was one thing, but if she was home, well he couldn't actually say, sorry hon, I want to go fuck my mistress. He always came to my place. I never went to his, and while we did go out on occasion, we always stuck near my place. He didn't live anywhere close, and every time I offered to meet him somewhere closer to his place, he shot me down. Obviously, he couldn't risk anyone seeing us together, and if I ever made it to his apartment, I would have seen all the evidence of Diana that I would have needed to realize I was just his play thing. Plus, there was the possibility that she'd come home early and catch us together. Back then I was all concerned about dating within the department. Ironic I know considering my history and our marriage, but I was worried about workplace romance, what it would mean and what people would think. When it felt like there was something really going on between us, I told him that, but I also said that I didn't want to stop seeing him. He said we could keep our relationship a secret. Sold me this bull story about how he didn't really want to but would do it to ease my worries, and I believed him. I constantly bought all his crap, believed that everything that should have been a warning sign was something he was doing to make things easier for me. What was wrong with me?"

"Nothing was wrong with you, and you have nothing to be ashamed of Gabby. You were young. Sure, you trusted someone you shouldn't have, but that's because you see the good in the people. I know you would have never intentionally slept with someone who was taken. The only person who's at fault, the only person who did something wrong is Cordova," Matt insisted.

"Thanks," she smiled at him. "That's the whole story. That's everything I didn't say."

"Alright then," Matt said as he finally took a swig of his beer.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Matt drinking and Gabby trying to gage his mood. She couldn't get a good read on him. On the one hand, he didn't seem as angry as he did earlier, he hadn't lashed out again or anything. On the other hand, he seemed to have gone back to ignoring her, and minus a few words and gestures here and there, he clearly had no interest in helping her deal with confronting her past.

"So I know telling you everything now doesn't make up for not telling you anything earlier, but are we okay?" Gabby finally asked.

"I get to be mad at you right now Gabby," was all Matt said in response.

"Okay then," Gabby said as she got up from the couch. Maybe there was more she could have or should have said to explain herself and why she'd handled things the way she had, but after telling Matt the whole story of her relationship with Jake, she was too emotionally exhausted to figure it out. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to stay and figure out how to make things right, but she knew Matt. She knew that she wouldn't get anywhere given the state they were both in so it was best to give him space and let him think it over. Hopefully, that would be enough for him to understand. "I'll be in the bedroom if you want to talk."

She headed out of the room, stopping when she was almost at their bedroom door to turn around and say one last thing.

"I love you, and I really am sorry Matt," she paused for a moment, hoping he'd say something back. When she realized he wasn't going to, she reluctantly headed into the bedroom.

Author's Note: So I know this chapter didn't move the plot a ton, but I thought it was really important for Gabby to explain the entire story of her relationship with Cordova to Matt and why it wasn't easy for her to talk about. Things should start moving a little more next chapter, and I hope you guys still enjoyed it.

Until next time.