Inuyasha arrives back at the camp site after his long conversation with Kikyo. He can't shake the guilt and nerves from knowing he'll have to face Kagome. He's not even in full view of his friends yet before he can tell instantly she's not there. Her sweet scent is missing among the others and trepidation creeps into his mind. Did she go home again? Is she ok? Just then he spots Miroku sitting peacefully by the fire with his staff resting over his shoulder and his eyes closed in contemplation.
"Hey where's Kagome! Did she run off home again?!"
Miroku popped one eye open to stare down his over eager comrade. "Calm down Inuyasha, she assured us she wasn't going to stray too far from here. She wanted time alone." More than a little agitate that Miroku let Kagome go off on her own; he was also relieved she hadn't just abandoned him altogether and went home. With that bit of information Inuyasha raced off to find her, it was not safe for her to be on her own in the middle of the night. Even if she could signal for help, demons are quick and who knows how long she would be able to hold one off if a demon tried to attack her.
As he jumped through the trees and sniffed her out he steeled his nerves for what he could be walking into. He thought he knew what he was in for, but even if he didn't, this needed to end. The sneaking, the lying, promises to two women when he simply could not keep all his promises.
On one hand Kagome is strong, resourceful, and brilliant. Her soul burns so purely and brightly her image is a true reflection of the beauty she holds within. She wants me to live, as I am. She accepts me as no other has and maybe had I met her first there would be no doubt in my mind that my future is with her.
But that's just not the case. As Kikyo was all those things and more. My first love, my companion as I wondered for so long on my own. She was home and peace. She may not be what she once was, but that is only because of what Naraku did and she should not be abandoned for what he did to her. She has my undying loyalty and I continue to lover her as I remember her, not for who she was forced to be.
While Kagome is not Kikyo and that is very clear. What are the chances that I fall in love with a woman and then her reincarnation? Just to have that same woman and her reincarnation love me back just as strongly. As I'm only able to be fully honest in my mind it becomes apparent.. What if it's simply the soul I was meant to be with? And ever since Urusuay; that soul is now in two people, how on earth do I choose between my past and my future, when in the end they harbor pieces of the same soul I was destined to be with?