A Taste of the Weird World
Hey hey hey
There's silence over the city but it's so noisy
There is reason for looking up but I'm feeling down
You see I've got to catch a plane, won't buy a ticket
Cause it's hard to stop when you're spinning around
It's a weird world don't you know it
It's a weird world and it won't slow down
It's a weird world no matter how you roll it
Backstreet Boys - "Weird World"
Come Saturday night, Nick went to the local pub for a drink. Stu told him they had the best root beer this side of Barkcelona and he just had to try it to believe it, though he had never been to Barkcelona, and neither had Stu. Either way he went in, greeted the bartender.
-"Evening, Floyd."
-"Good evening, Mr. Wilde. It's good to see you again."
Floyd was a curious young lad. Midwestern accent, thin build, straight hair gelled back with gomina, pencil mustache and a bright as cuss smile, he was a powerful presence.
-"Slow night, isn't it?"
-"Indeed sir"
-"Well Floyd, I'm thirsty as a camel in the desert and word on the street is, you serve a great beer that can placate my dryness.
-"Sure thing, Mr. Wilde"
Floyd slid a glass across the bar right into Nick's hand. Nick drank it all with a jubilant grin and said:
-"Cuss, Floyd. Keep up like this and you're gonna make it big one day. You're my favorite, paws down"
-"Always a pleasure to serve you, sir."
And so Nick spent his night, chugging down glass after glass of sweet dark pop until his tummy hurt.
-"Bill, please", said Nick as he pulled out his wallet.
-"Nothing, sir. This one's on the house. Please come again soon, and bring your friends"
Nick said nothing but it all seemed pretty suspicious. He could've asked where exactly did he know Floyd from, but his head was starting to hurt from drinking so much sugar and he just wanted to go home with his family. However, he somehow felt like he had just done something bad, or was in the way to doing it.
He was walking very fast for someone with their belly full of soda. He couldn't believe he had parked his car so far from the pub, when suddenly he caught an oddly colorful figure with the corner of his eye in an alley. The figure looked at him and spoke nonsense:
-"Hey foxy daddy, you want a date? 10 bucks the hour, 5 extra for the knot. I don't do groups or rodents."
The thing revealed herself to be a young female caprine, too old to be a lamb but not enough to be an ewe.
-"I'm sorry lady, I'm a married fox. I can't give you a ride but I could call you a cab if you're looking for your dad." He moved on, ignoring she made a very rude signal at him. Finally, he found his car, got inside and started the engine, mind fleeting among the weirdness of the night.
He was almost home when a stray thought tugged on a spare neuron unoccupied in trivial cattlepoop. "The pie! You big son of a gun, you forgot to pick up the pie!" He made a not very legal U-turn and rushed to Gideon's bakery, wishing he hadn't closed yet. Gideon… Who would've thought a former bully would befriend such a nice fellow as Stu Hopps?
Nick relaxed a bit, knowing that even if it was closed, he could go to the bowling alley where they usually go to after work. There, he could ask Gideon for the keys and he could get the pie himself. "Well, maybe that won't be necessary", he thought to himself as he saw the bakery was still open.
"Hey Gideon…"