This chapter was written while listening to One Two's song Without You on repeat. My throat still hurts from the lump that formed there. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Merlin.

His mother wept on his bed as he packed.

She had entered silently as he dug through his drawers and threw random articles of clothing into his bag, and he only spared her a moment's glance as she stood crying at his doorway before he ventured into his wardrobe. Brief lapses of control led him to randomly check on her, only to see her face almost completely hidden from view as she cried into a white handkerchief, the parts that were visible vividly red from her tears, sitting on the edge of his bed.

He zipped up the bag slowly, as though not wanting to startle her, but she emerged from the handkerchief nonetheless, her normally radiant eyes shining with grief, tracks of tears still trickling down her soft cheeks.

"Please Arthur," she muttered, her bottom lip trembling in her effort to speak clearly. "Please, don't leave."

Arthur sighed deeply, eyes locked onto his mother's as he battled the fresh emotions rising within him. He gently took her hand and helped her up, enveloping her in his arms silently and placing his brow on her shoulder. Her form shook in his embrace.

"I can't stay here, mother," he whispered, not trusting himself to speak any louder. "I just... I won't."

A stifled sob and a sniffle left Ygraine, and her delicate hands reached to stroke his hair and rub his back soothingly. Arthur closed his eyes at the pang of nostalgia he felt at his mother's comfort, swallowing harshly and blinking rapidly. Still, he quickly wiped at his eyes as he pulled away from her, the sting of oncoming tears never leaving.

"Arthur," she said, and he looked at her again. Her blue eyes, the original to his own, looked at him with such sorrow and love. "I'm so sorry. Believe me, love, I'm so sorry."

He nodded, shifting his glance at the ground by his feet. He did not want to cry. He had had enough of crying lately, of waking up to a cold, empty bed in the morning as he blindly searched for a warmth that will never return, of running to the bathroom and emptying the contents of his stomach into the sink whenever missing Merlin just became too damn much.

He had had enough of home.

So why was it getting so hard for him to say goodbye?

"Merlin loved you so, Arthur," Ygraine continued quietly, and Arthur winced. "And I know you loved him just as much. And... I'm sorry that your father couldn't see that."

"I don't..." Arthur cut in, closing his eyes tightly. "I don't want to talk about him. Please, mother."

He found himself questioning whether he was talking about his father or Merlin.

Ygraine sighed, and Arthur opened his eyes once again to see his mother nod stiffly. Arthur pursed his lips and grabbed his bag, throwing the strap over his shoulder as he leaned down to grab the handle of his suitcase. It was time to leave.

"Just know, love, that there will always be a place for you here," Ygraine whispered.

Arthur hesitated for a moment, biting back the reply that he would probably never be ready to see his father again, before nodding, sinking into another hug from his mother. Ygraine gently patted Arthur's neck as she murmured, "I love you, Arthur."

Arthur closed his eyes. "I love you too, mother."

With a final kiss on the cheek, Ygraine let her son go. Arthur walked around her toward the door, but paused at the threshold, looking back at her. She watched him with noticeably increasing distress at her son's leave, and Arthur once again swallowed down the hard lump in his throat.

"Goodbye, mother."

Without another word, Arthur turned away, walking down the halls and out of the house he grew up in, trying his hardest to ignore the sobs coming from his room.