The second his feet touched the floor of Atlantis, a large part of Ronon wanted to be back with Dr. Weir—no Elizabeth, back where things made sense. That was not an option, for many reasons, but especially because a few feet away some very familiar belongings were being loaded into the back of a Puddle Jumper. Rodney was a few feet away, clenching and unclenching his fist, obviously trying to think of some way to stop what was going on.

Five years had given Rodney a few grey hairs that were almost invisible considering how short he wore it. Other than that and a few lines around the eyes, he looked the same. He wore his white lab coat, covered in some dark pink foreign substance that was also splattered on his face. His nose had the red marks from his goggles, meaning he had just come from the lab. He apparently didn't see Ronon yet, because his eyes were on the owner of the luggage.

She was there, naturally. Teyla Emmagen. Ronon felt his heart clench painfully, but forced it aside as he focused on getting his legs to work properly. Teyla's once caramel colored hair had been darkened and had also lengthened considerably. It was now held back by a sever braid that brushed her lower back. Her once Athosian garments had been replaced by hard dark blue military gear a month or so after Elizabeth left. Now she stood in the garb of her people. But instead of the warm browns and earthy tones, she wore dark well-worn leather garments reminiscent of armor. The hilt of a knife was sticking up from her mid-calf boot. He walked slowly towards her, his footsteps masked by the sounds of the Gate room. Her head half-turned as he stepped towards her. He caught a flash of her dark eyes, as hollow as ever, but she said nothing, turning back to the men.

Rodney on the other hand rushed over.

"Well?" he demanded. Ronon offered the data pad with her message as means of an explanation, "all right," he grinned, "maybe you're not as dumb as I thought."

"And you must be dumber," he said in a harsh whisper, "I thought you were going to stop her."

"I tried," Rodney hissed back looking at Teyla who gave no indication of listening, "I'm a genius, not a magician!" he sobered slightly, "didn't you say goodbye already?"

"Rodney," he growled in frustration, "keep it safe," he added. Rondey nodded and pulled the data pad into the folds of his coat.

Ronon walked past Teyla to where the last few packs were waiting. He picked them up and took them over to the Jumper, placing them with the others.

"What are you doing?" her sharp voice demanded.

"Coming with you," he countered.

"That is not necessary," she said striding over.

"I think it is," he said turning to face her.

Their gazes caught for a moment and Ronon wished she'd hit him, anything to give her an excuse for him to make her stay. She inhaled sharply, her fists clenching. Exhaling, she forced her fingers apart. She gave a quick nod before going back to say her goodbyes. Ronon walked to the Jumper and placed the packs inside, along with the rest of the Athosian things that had been left behind. Wrapped in bright cloth was a large bundle. He peaked out to see if Teyla was coming. When he saw she was busy, he tugged at the edge of the bundle. Nestled inside were fighting sticks.

Standing up he walked to the hatch and braced his arms against the frame. The longest goodbye, by far, was between Teyla and a radio version John Sheppard, who was currently off world. There was something between the two of the, something Ronon could not place but did not like. His arms protested how tightly his fingers were gripping the metal and he realized just how much he didn't like the connection between John and Teyla. Shaking his head, he released his fingers and stepped back inside the Jumper. He looked out and caught Rodney's eye.

"Do something!" Rodney mouthed.

A few minuets later he was facing Teyla as the Puddle Jumper took off. Teyla had her arms crossed across her chest and was leaning back against the wall. It was just the two of them in the back of the Jumper, the other few had wisely decided to 'hang out' in the front with the pilot. Both had stretched out considerably, though Teyla took care not to touch Ronon and he took care to 'accidentally' touch her.

"Would you stop?" Teyla demanded, exasperated, after their knees touched for the tenth time.

"Why is our touching my fault?" Ronon asked lightly.

"Because it is," Teyla said hotly. Ronon nodded and silenced reigned for a moment, "why are you staring?"

"You are more interesting than the luggage," he replied simply leaning forward, "Elizabeth has agreed to help."

"What?" Teyla gasped, her eyes widening, "how?" she frowned, "and why?"

"Ronon!" Marcus Lorne's laughing voice echoed to them, "Caldwell says you have to stay in Atlantis for the next twelve hours upon your return unless you are needed. That's your punishment for disobeying an iron-clad rule, not to mention several laws on Earth."

"That is why," Ronon said leaning on his elbows, "she agreed to help us, she cannot be here but she can communicate with us at all times."

Teyla nodded and leaned against the wall, looking away. Ronon felt disappointment surge through him and something sharper as well. Closing his eyes briefly, he looked up and leaned back as well with an audible sigh. He laced his fingers over his stomach and studied Teyla, knowing that everything was fruitless from this point on. She would not be returning with him. The sharp feeling disappeared, replaced by emptiness. He ignored the feeling, pushing it aside.

The jumper ride passed in tense silence. Soon they arrived. Men came up, greeted Teyla and removed the luggage from inside the Jumper. The process took the longest five minuets of Ronon's life. Only when the Jumper was empty and she had said goodbye to the Marines did she turn to him.

"About what you said earlier," she said carefully, "I am glad Dr. Weir has decided to aid you, truly I am," she bit her lip, "but I am not part of Atlantis anymore," her voice wavered slightly, "there is no us, Ronon, I'm sorry" she smiled bitterly, "goodbye," she said extending a hand.

He looked at it, disgust evident in his eyes. In that moment the anger vanished. He felt, for the first time in a long time, hollow. Like the world could see through him. He tried to push it aside but couldn't. He couldn't even tell why he felt the way he did, he certainly did not feel the emptiness when Elizabeth left. He gritted his teeth at how stupid he had become—how soft. He never should have trusted any of them, especially not her. Shaking his head, he turned and walked back to the Jumper.

"I'm sorry there ever was an us," he said, not stopping or turning around.

There was a time, not too long ago, when Teyla would have gone after him. But not now. She turned to greet her people now, she let him go without so much as an explanation. Walking to the last few packages waiting, she picked up the one with fighting sticks in it and pulled the corner open. There was a set for practice, a set for battle and a more formal set used for ceremonies and such. There was also a simple wooden one, taken as an afterthought. Teyla touched the top of the wood and closed her eyes, sighing deeply.

"I am not," she whispered to the wind before closing the fabric.


88 On Earth 88



"Ow!"

"Well Colonel if you had just stayed with the group this wouldn't have happened!"

"If you'd stop bending it, it wouldn't hurt!"

Dr. Malcolm Waters sighed and glared at his frustrating patient. Colonel John Sheppard glared right back. The Georgetown University Hospital was busy this time of day and checking up on his least favorite patient was not what Malcolm wanted to do at this point in time. Colonel Sheppard had been recommended to him by his old friend Dr. Carson Beckett, who explained that Colonel Sheppard had gone to help someone during some mission and gotten hurt by some animal. He had received a medical history filled with blacked-out dates. But, of course, he was dealing with a military man. When he met Colonel Sheppard he was more dead than alive, but he had worked with what he had and now the only indication that anything had happened to the man was the gruesome scar on his back and the brace around his knee.

"Colonel Sheppard," Malcolm said tensely, "I have been told I can't release you until you know how to walk."

"And?"

"If you can't bend your knee how the hell are you supposed to walk!" he demanded, patience failing.

"Aren't you supposed to tell me that?" John shot back hotly.

"If I were immortal maybe," Malcolm said, "Nurse please get physical therapy up here, Colonel Sheppard I have to go."

"Go?" John asked.

"Yes, go, I'm twenty minuets late as it is."

"Hot date?" John asked smirking.

"With a dog—two actually," he replied, "I promised a friend I would walk her dogs for her."

"Yes, wouldn't want you to disappoint the animals," John said easily.

"Maybe when you have something helpless depending on you, Colonel, you'll understand why disappointing them is not an option," he said pulling on his coat and leaving before John could protest.

Leaning back on the bed, he sighed and leaned his head against the pillows. He hated being on earth, he hated so much now that it shocked even him. Teyla and Elizabeth were both gone now. It seemed that all of Atlantis blamed him for their leader's departure in the first place. But it was not his fault, she left willingly, as she told the entire base. She left to 'pursue other projects'. And just like that she was gone. A ripple in the Stargate and it was like she had never been there at all. Two weeks later, Atlantis was militarized. He listened to their accusations, the silent glares until he couldn't take it anymore and relinquished all power he had, agreeing to stay on only to lead the team. Rodney wouldn't speak to him more than necessary, Teyla was leaving and Ronon was up to something—he just didn't know what. Even with all that, it had been almost four months and he wanted to get back to Atlantis.

He wanted to go home.