Chapter 2: Clouds in My Coffee

We're stuck in that confined spaced. Metal walls, metal roof, metal floor- what's left of the ship that brought us to this God-forsaken planet. About four foot of space wall to wall and all these people around me. I'm cold, the lights gone, and I'm so cold. We've been forced into here by those creatures. I'm trying to rationalise why we lost Shazza, to what I think is everyone's annoyance I do this out loud:

"She should've stayed down. If she only would've stayed down, she'd be okay. She wouldn't have died."

Then John's cuts in, voicing what everyone is really thinking: "Do you remember the bone yard?" Fry glares at him; how could you forget thousands of skeletons laid as far as the eyes could see? I shudder slightly at the thought of it, "These just might be the fuckers that killed every living thing on this planet."

I don't want to think about it so I ask to anyone: "What are we gonna do now?"

The two Arab boys speak softly to each other and Imam, while Paris cuts in with his self-preservation question, "Are these the only lights we have left? Is this everything?"

I start to panic a little; if this really is all the light we have we're screwed. I don't like dark places, I especially don't like dark confined spaces.

Fry answers him, "No, there's a cutting torch on the floor here somewhere I just can't find it."

Imam cuts across her: "Quiet please. Everyone." He's finally drawn our attention fully, towards the sounds of the creatures outside. Their strange squealing. I'm shaking from fear and shock but also curious:

"Why do they do that, make that sound?"

Imam answers, "Perhaps it's the way they see, with the sound reflecting back…"

He's cut off by a noise down the corridor, a squeal of bone on metal, a rattle of the side panels of the ship. Then there is a small silence as their sweet, musical, yet frightening and sinister calls can be heard echoing around the outside again…

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I woke up with that sound ringing in my head; echoing around my quarters. I was covered in sweat and breathing heavily. I had nightmares in fits and spurts, still do: about what happened on the planet, and what happened after- I shudder to think at the different outcomes that might have occurred…especially if…no, I shouldn't think like that

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply trying to slow down my racing heart. I could feel it pumping in my chest, the sound pounding in my ears. I felt sick.

Sighing I checked the time on the clock next to my bed, I still had two hours before my shift officially started but I couldn't sit around in my quarters- not after that dream- I needed to find something to do.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I was early and unsurprised that, upon walking in, I found Sickbay pretty much deserted. Bones was in his office and Peterson was still under sedation, although I could see the discolouration had become worse overnight. I walked over to inspect it further and found that it had now spread over most of his chest, arm and even down his leg. It had changed from a beige colour to a dark brown mottled colour, that was an exact shade of "dirt". The equipment showed that his blood pressure was up, his heart rate was fast and he had a fever of 102°. I frowned because this means only one thing; the anti-biotics weren't working.

"You're early Kiddo."

I turned around to see Bones stood in the doorway of his office. I shrugged and said simply, "Woke up early."

He looked at me weirdly but didn't ask anymore questions. Instead he changed the subject,

"I can't think of what it is," obviously referring to Peterson.

He walked over to stand next to me, "I've been observing him all night and it's just slowly getting worse."

He sounded worried but it didn't show it on his face. I looked back at Peterson and said, "Maybe we're treating it wrong then, maybe we should take the dermabrasion field off and wait for the infection to clear before we continue healing the burns. I mean it's basically steroids we're feeding him and it might be affecting the infection"

"Don't think I haven't thought about it kiddo, but the thing is, if we take it off and the infection gets worse…well it'd be a waste of time and he'd be in a lot of pain without it." Bones mused.

I frowned a little bit, "Well then maybe, we're trying to treat it with the wrong anti-biotics. It is possible, or even we are treating it correctly, but it's mutated to become immune to the treatment."

"Mmmmh" I looked at him, "I'd thought of that as well, but I don't know what else to treat it with, I mean, where do you start?"

"I guess, we should leave him on the current treatment because if we take him off it might just spread faster, and leave him on the steroids from the dermabrasion field as well, but try and find other treatments that might work, trial and error I suppose."

"I hate using patients and test subjects. I'm a doctor, not a lab tech." he said simply, a frown etched deep into his features.

I laughed despite the serious situation, "So am I, but what other choice do we have?"

He looked at me. He didn't say anything, he didn't need to. I could see from his face, and I could feel the words hanging in the air: we don't have one.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The rest of the crew was aboard but we weren't going to leave space-dock yet. The Captain came down to enquire after Peterson, although I think he wanted to talk to Bones more than that, and when he found that actually we were struggling to find, not just the treatment, but the cause of his problems, he decided to give us more time.

Whatever it was had sped up. Most of his body was now that dirt-coloured mottled brown and his fever was up to 103°. Bones and I were both worried that if it reached his brain, we're not going to be able to save him. Bones should've gone off shift about 4 hours ago, when I was supposed to start, yet he was still in Sickbay.

I was sat on the bed next to Peterson; with a plethora of P.A. containing the most recent medical journals in the vain hope that we'd find something to help point us in the right direction. I'd had no hits so far and there'd been no sound from Bones, in his office, apart from the occasional curse, when he got frustrated or annoyed. I think we were both starting to feel the pressure. If we don't find something soon, we really were going to lose him.

A sudden beep from the Sickbay comm. made me jump slightly. I waited for Bones to make a move but he didn't so I jumped down off the bed and answered it: "Sickbay?"

"This is the Captain, is Bones there?"

I rolled my eyes, "He's in his office…"

"What's he doing there?"

"Working, sir" I snapped, managing to hold back the "believe it or not" I want to add on to the end.

"Right, tell him I'm coming down to talk to him," that statement was followed by a rustle of movement from the other side of the comm.

Confused, I replied simply, "Yes, sir." I closed the linked and walked over to his office.

"Bones?" he looked up from his desk, "The Captain is on his way down to speak to you."

"Why?"

I shrugged, "He didn't say."

"Thanks Kiddo." I just smiled and returned to what I was doing.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

About ten minutes later the doors to Sickbay opened and the Captain walked in. He didn't look as if there was anything particularly urgent bothering him, but he completely ignored me and walked straight into Bones' office- to which I was rather relieved.

I went back to work not really paying attention to what was going on- because I had my priorities in the right order…for once. I'd settled down on the bed and skimmed through six or seven articles before they both left Bones' office and walked over to me and Peterson.

"How's he doing?" the Captain asked, looking sincerely concerned

"Well, his fever up from this morning and most of his body is covered in this discolouration now, it's even started to work its way up his neck. We've managed to slow his heart rate and lower his blood pressure but apart from that there's nothing else we can do." I said, simply.

Behind Bones and the Captain I can see four on duty staff nurses looking rather upset. From what Bones had told me Peterson was well liked, his sense of humour kept everyone going as the ship limped back from their last fight with the Narada.

The Captain turned to Bones, "Do you want to explain what that means in black and white terms?"

"He's not going to make it Jim. There's nothing else we can do now- just make sure he's pain free and comfortable." Bones replied sadly.

I turned away. I've always hated this part. I think it's because I'm so stubborn- I just won't let go. When a case ends like this it isn't fair, I got saved so many times and everyone else should too. It's the way I looked at things then. I was still naive. I looked back and see the Captain nodding.

"All right," he said solemnly, "Let me know when…" his voice trailed off.

"I will Jim."

With that the Captain left again and Bones went back to his office. I looked from Peterson to the sad faced nurses and then to Bones' office and decided that I couldn't stay there. I walked over to the office doorway and whispered: "We can't save him, but maybe we can give his family an answer why. We shouldn't give up just yet…should we?"

He waited for a moment, "No we shouldn't but I hate hanging around when they're dying like this. It's the worst part of the job. I feel like a mortician."

"I know the feeling. Why don't we take some of the medical journals down to the Cafeteria and get a cup of coffee? At least we don't have an ominous air of Peterson hanging constantly over our heads. Plus, you've got to be tired and since there's very little chance of you going to sleep, coffee might help." I suggested quietly, hoping he wasn't going to leave me on my own.

"That, Kiddo, is the best idea I've heard all day."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

My coffee had gone cold and there were clouds in the top where the milk had started to congeal a little bit. We'd been sat there for half an hour, leaving the nurses with Peterson- on the understanding that they'd contact us when he was near the very end. So far we'd not said a word to each other. We were both trying hard to find a reason why. The crew all around us were chatting and laughing, which at times was irritating, but anything was better than the solitary beeping of Peterson's monitors and the quiet whispering of the nurses.

Occasionally people stopped and talk to Bones and occasionally they'd acknowledge me, but they moved off quickly leaving us to our work. After another few minutes, I threw my P.A.D.D gently onto the table and asked: "Do you want another coffee?"

He looked up and gave me a small smile, "Yeah that'd be great; I think I'm starting to strain my eyes."

He rubbed his eyes and ran his hands over his face. I smiled a little bit and went to get us some sustenance.

When I returned there was a group of about four people sat around our table with Bones. I placed the coffee down in front of him and he introduced everyone: "This is Sulu, Chekov, Scotty and you already know Jim."

I nodded to the Captain and looked carefully at the others sat around: "I'm Lieutenant Karev but you can call me Jack."

Then, as if someone had switched on a light bulb in my head, I remembered what Annie said to me about the Chief Engineer and the accident with Porthos. I had to say something: "Scotty, would that make you the lame-brain who made Porthos disappear?"

Scotty turned to look me in the eye, "What or who is Porthos?"

"Admiral Archers Beagle. The one that some clever git, called Montgomery Scott made disappear and was unable to find again. Are you the clever git?" I replied carefully.

He looked at me indignantly and then to the Captain, "You were right, Cap'n. She does have 'n attitude."

Bones laughed and said, "But in her defence it's funny when she talks back."

Scotty looked back at me with a rather sheepish look, "Erm…well…in answer to your question, yeah that was me."

I laughed, "He still really hates you."

Scotty grinned, "Well, am not surprised."

I took a drink of my coffee, when, the very young looking Chekov asked, "How is Peterson?"

I exchanged a look with Bones. He stared down at the cup of coffee in his hands and answered: "Not good,"

I thought he'd finished because he paused for a long time, but then continued, "Whatever, it is has spread up to his brain and he probably won't see tomorrow."

I saw them visibly flinch at the thought of it: losing another member of the crew; losing someone else after the massacre at Vulcan. In a composed voice Sulu asked, "Do you know what it is?"

I would have answered that but Bones cut it before I could, "No, unfortunately we don't. It's why we're here with all these P.A.. We're trying to find out what it is."

"Is it frustrating doktor?" asks Chekov

I did manage to answer this one, "Incredibly. The cases like this drive you mad. You just want to be able to give their family an answer, but it's so hard. There's no respite from it either, it constantly goes eats away at you in the back of you head. It's like a para-" I stopped and met Bones' eyes.

"It's a parasite." I whispered.

The realisation dawned on his face, "Shit."

I sat back in my chair, staring at the ceiling with my head in my heads. It was completely unbelievable, all this time we were looking for an infection from the burns, but chances are it was already there.

I looked back to the table and everyone seemed to be confused. I decided to enlighten them; "The thing that's killing Peterson isn't and infection like we first thought, it's a parasite."

I locked eyes with Bones and I knew that he was thinking exactly the same thing I was: if only.

The Captain looked between us, confused, "Well, what difference would it have made to him, if you'd have found out earlier?"

I glared at him and Bones answered shortly, "He wouldn't be dying. Most likely, he'd been recovering nicely, without a care in the world."

He was about to go on but I put a hand on his arm, not for any of them but for me. I didn't want to hear it, I knew what would've happened- I knew some of it was our fault. Our comm.s went off at the same time, but I reached mine first, "Karev,"

"It's Nurse Chapel, Peterson's heart rate has dropped to 60 and his blood pressure is low. I don't think he's got a lot of time left." She stated quietly

"All right, I'll come up."

I closed the comm. and got up to leave when Bones grabs my arm and asked: "Where are you going?"

"To sit with our patient while he dies."

"I figured that; but why you, not me?"

"Because you've been awake for the last fourteen hours and I'm telling you to go get some sleep."

He scowled and replied, "Who died and made you CMO"

"You will, if you don't go to sleep." He gave me a small smile and I smiled back. I grabbed the P.A. off the table and left for Sickbay.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I hate this part. This stupid waiting game we have to play, when there's nothing we can do.

Peterson was slowly drifting. His vitals dropped and they crashed not long after. A monotone beep cut across the silence that was hanging heavily over Sickbay. Peterson was gone. Peterson was gone and it's partly my fault, I knew it was. I should have caught it, I should have seen it- it should have been obvious.

A few hours later I was sat at Bones' desk my head in my hands. I felt like an executioner- especially with this one. It's always worse when you know it's your fault. Ten minutes feels like an hour and slowly you can't find the strength or the inclination to move.

I called the time of death, signed the death certificate and I started the report. I looked at my watch, realising that I'd been on shift for nine hours, I needed another coffee and to get out of there.

I was about to get up and leave when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." I said, sitting back down

A nurse, who I don't know that name of, walks in "I need you to sign the nurses report, Doctor."

She placed a P.A.D.D in front of me and I skimmed over it quickly. I looked up at the nurse and asked off hand, "What's your name?"

"Ensign Marx, Kayleigh Marx." She replied as I scribbled my signature in my best doctor scrawl at the bottom of the report.

As I handed it back to her I said, "You'll have to get the Doctor McCoy to sign it as well."

"Erm… Nurse Chapel had a question about the post-mortem…" she whispered.

"I will be performing it in about half an hour. Please ask Nurse Chapel if she could assist me." I replied simply, knowing that no one wanted the job of assisting. I didn't even want the job of performing.

As she left I said quietly, in the hope of reassurance, "It's nice to meet you Marx, I just wish it was under better circumstances."

She didn't reply, she just left.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

I walked into Sickbay, five hours after my shift was supposed to start. I didn't mean to be late; I just didn't wake up when I was supposed to. In my office I found Jack, lounging around in my chair looking very bored and very tired, still wearing some scrubs.

As I walk in she looked me up and down, "You're late."

"Nah I'm not Kiddo, I arrived exactly when I wanted to." I grinned

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, okay, whatever you say Doc."

"Doc? It makes me sound old. Stick to Bones." I grinned again, trying to lighten her mood.

She smiled slightly and gently chucked a P.A.D.D across the desk to me, "That's the post-mortem report on Ensign Peterson. The nurses' report and my report are also on there. The cause of death was heart-failure induced by the parasites burrowing into the brainstem. You just need to sign off on it."

I skimmed over what she'd written quickly, and noticed a few things I wanted to change. She was too mechanical in her way of talking about things: like Peterson was a robot; not a person. I figured it was just her way of dealing with it. I expected her to go straight to bed after I arrived- mainly because she's been working for thirteen hours, but she was still sat in my chair.

"Kiddo maybe you should go get some sleep." I said with a subtlety of a brick. I was basically saying "get the fuck out of my chair."

She got up and threw herself down on the couch and answered: "If you wanted your chair Bones, all you had to do was ask."

"Sorry Kiddo."

"Never mind and I'm not tired to be honest. I'd just lay awake in my quarters thinking what a waste of time it is to just sit there and do nothing. If you have no complaints I'll stay here and do something constructive."

"I really think you should get some sleep…"

"Bones," she snapped, "I'm fine. When I'm tired I'll sleep. Until then, I'll be useful and get you a cup of coffee, because in all honesty, you look terrible."

I scowled and replied grumpily, "Fine, Black, two sugars and while you're up go see if Jim is wandering around doing nothing and send him to talk to me."

"Jim?" she raised an eyebrow in an almost Spock-like way,

"Captain Kirk."

"Oh, okay. Black, two sugars yeah?" I just nodded in reply, knowing full well that's she's putting off another meeting with Jim, but I had to talk to him about running checks on people. As a precaution to make sure no one else had the parasite, because we now know how to treat it and no wanted another Peterson.