Chapter 2 – – Padfoot goes pranking
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Prank #1:
Paddy side along 'apperated' he and I to Privet Drive. We each applied a disillusionment charm to ourselves and 'apperated' to the roof of a house across from #4 Privet Drive.
"Now don't dillydally around, you do some strong magic in the front yard and get right back here and I will explain the actions as they happen."
I transfigured a nude male statue that was standing on one foot with the other leg pointed outward. The violin looked to be in play while his dangly bits, what there were of them, were clearly seen by the neighbors. I made it look as lifelike as I remembered Vernon Dursley's fat body. I returned to Paddy still under a disillusionment charm.
"Dam Pup! You really want to gross out the neighborhood with that sculpture. OH! See that old lady running over to the house, that will be Miss Figg who was sent by Dumbledore to report on you. I don't think she was here to keep you safe as she is only a squib."
Minutes later, "AND that's Dumbledore himself who just popped in, and that's Severus Snape, who is trying to look like greasy bat, the one I was telling you about who has committed crimes against your family, students, and the world at large. Those others that are arriving now are part of the Order of the Pheonix.
"How do you know all this Padfoot?"
"I was an Auror and part of the Order of the Phoenix before I went to Azkaban. Also a lot of Voldemort's followers were there in Azkaban and did a lot of talking among themselves about Snape. AND, that confused Owl off to your left is most likely from the Ministry about you're using underage magic. The Owl is confused because of the wards that Dumbledore has on you or most likely on that house. The only way the bird could deliver to this block is if Dumbledore authorizes the delivery.
Vernon rushed out of the house screaming, "What are you freaks doing here and what have you done to my front yard. I'll sue I tell you, I'll sue."
Snape shoved Vernon aside and stomped into the house followed by a couple from the Order. This of course was seen by the nosey neighbors and the arriving police car that was probably summoned by Vernon or a neighbor.
While the constables were stunned and then 'Oblivated' by Dumbledore, Snape returned with the bad news, "Potters not in the house."
"Mr. Dursley where is Harry?" Dumbledore asked.
"We haven't seen that's freaking brat in years. I want you freaks off my property." Vernon turned and stormed into the house.
"Mrs. Figg why didn't you tell me that Harry had left Privet Drive?" Dumbledore inquired.
"I warned you that these idiots are the worst type of Muggles possible. I also told you that they kept him locked in the cupboard under the stairs most of the time so how was I to know that he had left? I was never let into the house so there's no way to check on him." Mrs. Figg was thinking that she had now lost her free room and board. That was another reason she never told Dumbledore anything.
"I'll teach you freaks to harass normal people..."BOOM...BOOM". Yelled Vernon as he raced out of the house with his double-barreled shotgun.
Snape got one of the barrels in is billowing cloak and part of his abnormally large fanny. Dumbledore waived off the second barrel of buckshot which unfortunately ended blowing out the large front window of one of the neighbors. Dumbledore stunner missed Vernon who had fallen on his backside from the recoil of the shotgun.
Being this was a typical if not abnormal Muggle neighborhood, all of this magical display brought in a team of Aurors. The first thing the Aurors saw was Snape hopping up and down and screaming while waving his wand in their general direction. The reaction was to send a volley of stunners in Snape's direction. This caused Dumbledore to erect a shield or get stunned along with Snape.
The neighbors were by this time calling every emergency service that a Muggle could imagine. The police were flooded with calls, fire brigade and medical services also received their fair share of calls.
In the confusion Vernon had taken his pudgy little hands and loaded two more shells into his shotgun. It was fortunate that Vernon was not a marksman and the birdshot did not do serious damage at that range. However a number of the Aurors had several of the lead birdshot pellets pepper their bodies requiring a healer's attention. Vernon received at least a half-dozen stunners before he had a chance to reload a third time.
Meanwhile across Privet Drive heads were popping out of front doors and windows' attempting to see what was going on. The Ministry was quite busy sending in people to a 'Oblliviate' the entire neighborhood in the continual flow of arriving Muggle emergency services. But as in all government efficiency the Ministry of Magic's Obliviators missed a couple who knew a story when they saw one. They had a Polaroid instant camera, a lot of film and a phone.
Padfoot found the entire thing so hilarious that he almost rolled off the roof laughing. I myself found their actions inefficient and resembling some Muggle slapstick comedy.
While most of the Sun's subscribers agreed that it was probably a hoax perpetrated by aliens, the Headmaster of Hogwarts found himself in front of the Queen's representatives. The department monitoring the Magical community had recognized Dumbledore. Dumbledore was the Queens advisor for magical affairs and the Queen was not pleased.
Prank #2:
Padfoot turned out to be Lord Black and his prank was a real piece of art. As my legal godfather he had me make out a Will leaving everything in the Potter estate to Sirius Orion Black. Padfoot then legally adopted me as his son Harrison Black and made a Will that also made me the future Lord Black. Sirius then opened up a trust account for Harrison Black with enough Galleons that I could retire for life. He then he had the Goblins do some of their magic making me forever more Harrison Black and no longer a Potter.
AxBlade assured Padfoot, "Lord Black, Harry Potter no longer existed in the magical world. Should he ever wish to take up the title of Lord Potter all he needs to do is come to Gringotts and take a heritage test. The test will show him to be the last of the Potter line and he will be able to take the title of Lord Potter."
It was so complete that Harry James Potter's Last Will and Testament became active and everything in the Potter vaults were transferred to the Black vaults. I was then enrolled into Hogwarts, by the Goblins, as Harrison Black as an exchange student.
"Mooney, do you know where they got that description they're calling Harry Potter?" I was curious as I was sure the Dursley's never took any photos of me in my five-year stay with them. The rest of my time was in Japan and I never remember being photographed as Harry Potter, so where was this description coming from? An artist drawing of Harry Potter graced dozens of books telling of all my specious adventures was total fiction.
"I really don't know but it is a really interesting question isn't it?" Padfoot gave a bark in the affirmative. Sirius was in his animagus form as he was still a wanted fugitive.
I really wasn't interest a whole lot as currently my hair was long and was contained in a ponytail, not like some punk rocker's gelled up lightning bolt scar had scabbed up after the vision and was now completely gone. My dragon-tooth earring complemented my Dragon skin vest and boots and I did not look anything like when I was five years old and I definitely did not look like the illustrations on the cover of those fictional books.
If I thought that we had enough activities for the day Mooney escorted me down to Knockturn alley and purchased me my own personal elf called Penny. We then did an excessive amount of shopping getting me school supplies and more clothes. Then came Olevanders' wand shop.
As we entered the wand shop a small tinkling bell announced our arrival. The thousands of wand boxes piled to the ceiling gave the impression that this would be an all-day affair. I felt the old man slipping in behind us before he could say his,"good afternoon". When his silvery creepy eyes met mine I felt his mind probe as he stated, "Yes, I thought I'd be seeing you soon... Err!"
"Harrison, Harrison Black, please to meet you."
He seemed to enjoy testing out his merchandise, Wand, after Wand, after Wand.
"Right then, try this one, Applewood with Dragon heartstring, eleven inches."
"No, no, here try this Maple and Unicorn hair, nice and springy, fourteen inches."
I had no idea what he was up to; first off my wand was custom-made with each piece being personally picked out by myself based on my attractions. Furthermore the wand-maker that made my eight inch wand stated that the shorter the wand the more powerful wizard and here he was now handing me a fourteen inch wand. When sparks flew out a twelve inch wand he declared it a perfect match. I gave him his nine galleons and left with my Ministerial approved oak wand.
As soon as that farce was completed Padfoot dragged me back to Knockturn alley for some special holsters. I got a holster for my left arm for my twelve inch wand, a holster for my right arm and my eight inch wand but the best was the sheath for my Katana making it invisible as it attached across my back.
Should I have thought that this day was finally over with? Not hardly! Padfoot needed to rush off to accomplish something that he wouldn't talk about.
"Harry I need to go back to Gringotts and get a few Galleons from my fault." Mooney sighed.
"Mooney take what you need from my Gringotts pouch."
"No Harry that your money. Gringotts is just down the street so step lively cub"
Mooney and I had just stepped into the main lobby of Gringotts s when a shout rose up "Usurper of my clans wealth! Foul human, you will die for your treachery."
I have no idea what the Goblin's problem was but he was swinging his ax horizontally across by body which gave me the impression he was seriously trying to cut me in half. My training kicked in instinctively and I leapt upwards avoiding his swinging ax, I drew my Katana and in a downward swipe split the Goblin in half.
The main floor of Gringotts bank was now in panic. Wizards were running towards the exit as fast as they could. In a blink of the eye the door off to the left sprang open and dozens of Goblins poured out displaying knives, axes, and spears.
Total mayhem ensued as I was not about to be sliced and diced. With my Katana in one hand I drew my Wakizashi and blood flowed. Mooney seemed to go into overdrive and without any weapons was hurling Goblins in every direction. I was happy later that he kept his senses and didn't use magic i.e. his wand in Gringotts.
While I was making Goblin sushi and Mooney was giving them flying lessons the doors off to the right flung open and to security trolls lumbered onto the floor. All I could say was, "Oh Shit".
I would have not noticed a portion of the wall over the teller cages sliding and opening a door if not for the Goblin standing in the opening. The Goblin stated in a commanding voice, "HOLD". Unbelievably the trolls stopped as did most of the Goblins on the main floor. Some of the remaining Goblins that originally attacked continue to run into my swords.
Goblin who now appeared to be in charge of the situation then stated, "Escort the sword wielding child and his werewolf companion to my office immediately." The wizards on the floor were still trying to exit the front door but a singular Goblin approached us and indicated the door in which we should enter.
The office we entered was ornate in gold and silver but contained many items used in battle. I entered to what I thought was a respectable distance and executed a bow and stated, "Sir, I'm not aware of the proper greetings to your standing, please excuse any unintentional insults." It never hurts to butter up the bosses especially if you are deep in the enemy's encampment.
"Werewolf, take a seat, young wizard how are you addressed?"
"Harry is sufficient; my name however is legally Harrison Black."
"Yes it all makes sense now. You're dissolving the Potter estate made BackSlasher and his clan received quite a demotion in our society. Unfortunately he decided to act without much forethought. Since you and your werewolf friend did not use magic within the confines of Gringotts your actions are quite acceptable."
"Might I ask what debts have been called forth due to our actions?"
"None young Harry unless you decide to call for the death of the rest of his clan."
"I have no intention of calling in any debts, all we wish to do is extract a few galleons from my friends vault and depart you're fine institution in peace."
/Scene Break/
If I thought my magical training were coming to a close because Hogwarts was nigh on the horizon I was sadly mistaken. I had to practice drawing my wand using either wand and was warned to only use the twelve inch wand while at Hogwarts. Some of the curses that I had to learn were down right nasty but Sirius insistent.
"Now Mr. Harrison Black a.k.a. Little Dragon it comes time for you to become a junior Marauder." Padfoot was almost bouncing up and down with joy.
"Don't forget he needs a name for his animagus form." Mooney chuckled.
"Mooney you forget he has already names himself." Padfoot explained with too much happiness.
"What do you mean Padfoot?" I asked, already afraid of the answer.
"Fizzy, of course." Mooney and Padfoot said at the same time.
I had indeed been hanging around with these two fools for too long and I knew that arguing with them get me nowhere,"Oh, that's a great name! Really macho, that is". I replied with a straight face and watching some of their mischievous glee fade from their faces.
"Awe Fizzy, and here we were going to give you our Marauders diary with all of our favorite pranks." Padfoot whined and tried to give me a disappointed face especially when we renamed him Snuffles. There was always a possibility of our letters being intercepted and someone recognizing the name Padfoot.
Mooney slipped me the marauders diary on platform 9 ¾.