AN: I was wrong! Four people reviewed. But that's okay. Now I know that there are people out there reading this, so I will continue! Yay! I'm glad, I really like where this is going.

In case I pick up any new readers (unlikely) I will say again. This is only loosely based upon Sophie Kinsella's REMEMBER ME? And you don't need to read that to understand this. It is a really funny book though.

Disclaimer: I do not own HP or RM?... nor do I own the lyrics from 'Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee' from last chapter.

Lily

"I – what? Sophia... what are you talking about?" I manage to say.

"Lil, look at me. Do I look the same as what I did in fourth year?"

This is the first time I actually look at her. She's taller; leaner, yet curvier. Her legs are a mile long. She's still pale, her dark brown hair is still curly, but you can certainly tell she's older.

"Oh my God." I whisper.

"Lily... look at yourself. Do you look the same as you did in fourth year?" I look down, and I gasp.

Where I used to see no boobs I now see what have to be C cups. I keep inspecting myself, eyes rapt to notice and change.

I'm still pale, but my hair is no longer that dull orange-ish color. It's full out red now. It's a lot longer; it falls to my ribcage. It's curly.

"Lily, look at your face." Sophia hands me a mirror. I take it in both hands.

The first thing I notice is my eyes. They used to be so boring. They never had any life in them, they were always tired from staying up to finish some homework assignment, my eyebrows were never groomed and they were more hazel then green. But no. This older Lily Evans has bright green happy eyes. No black circles. And my eyebrows are groomed in a perfect arch. Not too high, not too pointy, not too straight.

My cheekbones are higher, I have laugh lines. Me, Lily Evans! Laugh lines! My teeth are white and perfectly straight. My lips are full and red.

"You're older, Lily." Sophia says. She's still crying.

"Sophia," I say pulling her into a hug. "Why are you crying?"

"There are so many things you don't remember. So many things you and Bethany and I shared – gone!"

It's only then it hits me. I lost three years of my life. I'm apparently not friends with Sarah and Alice anymore. I'm a totally different person. I'm seventeen.

I'm old.

"Sophia!" I say, worry in my voice. I grab her arm and pull her towards me. "You have to tell me everything that has happened since fourth year! You have to!"

She opens her mouth to speak, but is bumped out of the way by Madame Lou and Bethany, who I also notice is crying.

"Miss Churchill, Miss Winston, you may go. I must talk with Miss Evans." Madame Lou said impatiently. I was not happy. I wanted my friends here. I needed my friends here. "Now, dearie, your parents have been informed of your accident, and, when they arrive, I will tell them of your memory loss."

"They don't already know? Are they on their way now?" I ask, reaching for a box of Every-Flavour Beans and searching for my favourite flavour. I find one, and pop it in my mouth.

"No to the first, yes to the second. Now, I wanted to talk to you about your memory loss."

I find another one and pop it in my mouth. "Okay."

"Now, as Miss Winston has informed me, you are under the impression that it is 1973. Three years of memory loss is hard to bring back to Muggles and it isn't much simpler with wizards. There is not much I can do except hope and pray that it will come back. So," She smiled. "We had to remove your jewellery and such when we performed the X-Rays. Here it is." She hands me a small plastic bag. "Hopefully looking at these will trigger something." She smiles. "Your parents should arrive shortly." She pats my leg awkwardly and walks into her office. I look through the bag.

There is a heart-shaped locket with rubies forming a red rose on it, emeralds being the stem. I smile. It's so gorgeous. I open it, and what I see nearly stops my heart.

On one side, there is a picture of me and James. He's putting the locket around my neck. I frown when I realize it's a Muggle picture. But my frown turns into a mask of shock when I see what's written on the other side.

Lily,

I know I didn't need

To do this

I know that Lily

But I wanted to

Because I love you

James

Oh my God. I've been dating James Potter for a year? I can't stand to be five minutes with him! Oh God, oh God....

Then I pull out a gold ring, set with an emerald the size of the eraser on a pencil and a simple yet elegant band. Not too big, not too small. I quite like it, I think to myself. I notice and inscription on the inside.

Happy 17th! Mum&Dad

Phew! At least I approve of them giving me gifts. I pull out another ring. This one is the exact same as the ring my parents bought for me, but the stone is a ruby, not an emerald. I check the inside and groan.

Part of a set, Lils. Happy 17th. J

J for James? Has to be. There's another identical one, set with a beautiful aquamarine, from Sophia and Bethany. The inscription reads:

It was a cute idea! S&B

There are a couple of gold bangles, which I had before my accident, so I slip them on. I put on the rings my parents and Bethany and Sophia, but I can't bring myself to put on the jewellery James has given me. Not now.

It's weird, putting on the jewellery. I seem to know that the one from Sophia and Bethany was always on my left middle finger, and the one from my parents goes on my right middle finger. I'm assuming that since I found no engagement ring in my little baggie, that I always wore James' ring on my right ring finger.

My thoughts are interrupted by the door bursting open, and the sight of my parents running to my bed.

"Oh, Lily! Lily, we were so worried. Are you all right?" My mother said, her blonde hair swishing as she runs.

"I'm fine, perfectly fine now." I say.

"We were in Africa, so we tried to get here as fast as we - "

"Africa?!" I ask. We were never rich, but we were high-middle class. Where did my parents get the money to go to Africa?

"Yes, Lily, you know about Africa." My dad says, and chuckles nervously. "You were the ones that persuaded us to go."

"Mom, Dad, I don't know exactly how to tell you this, but - " I try to tell them about my memory loss, but the door bursts open again, this time, Madame Lou rushes in.

"Mr and Mrs Evans. You should come with me. There is something very important to discuss with you." Madame Lou takes them into her office, and I can't hear anything. I start to inspect my gift pile.

There are flowers from Sophia and Bethany, a red rose bouquet with a single white rose in the centre. I press the bouquet to my nose and breathe in their beautiful fresh scent. I've always loved white roses. I notice a cute little bouquet of posies from all the teachers, and an almost identical one from Gryffindor House. My eyes start to tear when I see that not only Gryffindor gave me flowers, but Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, too. I wasn't expecting Hufflepuff, because I rarely talk to anyone in that house, but I figured Sophia had something to do with the Ravenclaw bouquet. There is candy from almost everyone I've ever talked to; Chocolate Frogs, Acid Pops, Sugar Quills, Every-Flavour Beans, Liquorice Wands, the whole works. There is a Muggle candy basket from Dumbledore, with a note that confuses me.

Hope to see you at your duties soon, Miss Evans. Feel better.

Duties? I push it to the back of my mind when I realize there are no flowers or presents from James. I smile. This is all a hoax! We were never dating. He probably charmed the locket so it would look like we are. The J on the inside of my ring could stand for... Justin or Jude or Jacob or Joe or something. I think my uncle's name is Joe....

My parents come back in, tears in their eyes. "Lily?" Mom says nervously. She starts to play with her hands. "I am your mother. Do you know me? Do you recognize me?" I roll my eyes. I don't know how my mother graduated college with any type of degree.

"I told you once and I will tell you again, Miss Evans." Madame Lou says through gritted teeth. "She thinks it's 1973. She knows you. She only lost three years of her life. She is not three years old."

"So she has the mental capacity of a three year old?" My mother says eyes wide.

Madame Lou sighs. "Come with me, dearie." She takes my mother away – probably to explain again – and leaves me with my dad.

"Hi Daddy." I say, smiling. My dad and I have always been closer than my mom and I.

"Hey Red." He smiles at the thought of my old nickname. No one in my family has red hair, so, whenever we found out I was a witch, he would always say I got my red hair from the same person I got my magical abilities from. We both know it's not true, but we like to say it anyway. "So, you don't remember anything since fourth year?"

"The middle of fourth year, yeah." I say, looking down.

"I was thinking... Serena and Betty - "

"Who are they? I ask.

"Your best friends? You remember them." He says.

"Oh!" I say. "Sophia and Bethany!" I laugh. My father cannot remember names. I'm surprised he still remembers mine. "Continue."

"They told me they were putting scrapbooks of all the pictures they have of you together. James is doing the same. They said that the pictures might trigger your memory. Do you think it would help if your mother and I brought some, too?"

He said all that, and pretty much all I caught was James was making a scrapbook for me. I shrug it off. My dad can never remember names correctly. He honestly can't. I'm probably dating Joseph Wickham from Ravenclaw... ooh, he is cute! I slip the ring back on my finger enthusiastically. Because if I am in fact dating him, which I think I am -

"Lily?"

My dad's words bring me out of my happiness at the fact that I'm dating Joseph Wickham. "Yes Daddy?"

"Do you think it's a good idea?" My mother comes around the corner.

"I get it now!" She announces.

"Good! Anyway...? Is it a good idea?" My dad asks.

"Yes. It's worth a shot." I say.

'We're gonna head out now, Lils. Feel better, sweetie." Mom says.

"Who sent you that?" My father pointed to something on the other side of my bed.

I turned my head slowly, thinking it was something that God-awful Sirius Black sent me. Probably a toilet seat or something.

But no. It's not a toilet seat. It's a rectangular basket of flowers that's actually the size of small sofa. There must be millions of flowers. All different colors. All different sizes.

"It must have been Joseph Wickham." I say smugly. I smile. "Why hasn't he been in yet?"

"Oh God." Sophia and Bethany come back into the room. "She thinks she's dating Joseph Wickham?" Bethany says.

"Who else would be the J from inside the ring?" I say, taking it off my finger. "And how come he hasn't come to see me yet? We've been together for a year now; I would think he should be here."

Everyone in the room apart from Bethany looks down awkwardly. Sophia starts to cry again.

Bethany just puts her face into her hands. "Oh, God, you're really delusional. Listen, Li - "

"Lily! I tried to get here as fast as I could! I'm so sorry I wasn't here to see you wake up. And I'm sorry about your accident. I feel like it's all my fault, but you were falling so fast. I tried to swoop down under you, but it was too late! Anyway, I brought the scrapbook, and I was thinking we could look at it together and remember everything. Like this ring, remember that? You were so happy when you got the set. Bethany and Sophia have the same set from their parents, boyfriends and the other two in your 'posse'. Where's your necklace?! You swore you'd never take it off." He laughs.

"James." Sophia starts. "We don't know how to tell you this." Sophia starts to cry again.

"Lily lost all memory of you together. She doesn't know about you two." Bethany finishes.

James was shocked. I took the chance and said "I'm dating Joseph Wickham!"

"No, Lily." He says, and hangs his head. When he raises it again, tears are in his hazel eyes. "We're dating. And we were magical." His tears fall, but his breathing remains steady. "I knew it was too good to be true. We had a great time." He places the scrapbook on the absolute edge of my bed. "See you for rounds." He runs out of the room.

"Rounds?" Is what I say out loud. But inside, my heart breaks. I have no interest in being with James... so why did it break my heart when I broke his?

AN: I like this chapter. I find it funny. But... I want to know if you guys found it funny, too! Say so in a review!