Pain ripped the last succulent strip of meat off the roasted chicken leg and swallowed without chewing. He regarded the bare bone mournfully for a moment before pitching it over his shoulder where it proceeded to bounce down a huge, smelly pile of rotten bones, drinking cups, Hercules' soda cans, Herc Bar wrappers, and other garbage. "Well, that was good." He burped contently and rubbed his stomach. "What shall we do next?"

Panic smiled contentedly back at him from Hades' throne, his body surrounded by paper wrappers and other debris. He jumped to his feet, kicking the Greek Fried Chicken bucket and sending it tumbling down the steps, spilling gnawed bones and paper in all directions. "I know, I know, why don't we have some girls over?"

"Good idea." Pain used his feet which were clad with Hercules' brand sneakers to kick aside garbage. "Now where did I leave the remote?" His questing tail dipped into a pile of bones and came up with the goo-encrusted remote in its coils. "Ah, here it is." He stared off into space with a dreamy smile while he fiddled with the remote. "How long has it been since we lost the Boss in the River Lethe?"

Panic considered this wearily before replying. "I've lost track." He giggled. "Isn't it amazing how fast time passes when you're having fun?" He took a long sip through a straw from his Hercules' soda, swallowed and laughed nervously again. "I'm starting to really and truly believe he's never coming back."

"Never is good." Pain nodded his head enthusiastically and then pointed the remote held in the end of his coiled tail at a pillar framed wall. There was a loud click and a section of the wall lit up. "It's great being able to play and record stuff. Now we can even talk to each other and watch movies."

The wall swirled with colors which shrank to a dot and then burst into an image of Phil the satyr reclining on a couch surrounded by nymphs and naiads. One of them was plopping grapes into his upturned mouth. The satyr choked and spat out a mouthful of grapes. He rounded angrily on the grape feeder who smiled sweetly at him. "Seedless. How many times do I need to tell you? Seedless grapes! The darn seeds get stuck in my teeth."

He suddenly seemed to be aware that he wasn't alone any more. He looked in their direction. "Oh no! Not you guys, again." He shook his head in disgust. "I need this like a hole in the head."

"Hey, Pops. We need some entertainment down here." Pain grinned lavishly and the girls surrounding Phil drew back with unpleasant murmurs. "Come on." He pleaded. "We're sorry about the food fight. He glanced over and whispered to Panic who was gripping a cannon. "Nixnay on the cannonshay."

"Exploding, rotting chickens was too much." A pretty green-haired nymph retorted. The others nodded vigorously in agreement.

Panic kicked the cannon out of sight behind him. It vanished in a mound of exploding papers and garbage.

Pain put on a false smile. "We'll be good, Pops. Greek scouts' honor." They both crossed their fingers behind their backs and smiled like foxes ensuring the chickens that they had no fowl designs.

"Hmmph!" Was the only reply from the nymphs.

The satyr was now red in the face. "It's Phil, not Pops and I'm not your procurer. Find your own girls!"

"Hey!" Shouted Pain. "Do you know how hard it is to find girls down here?"

Panic made a sad face and whispered sorrowfully. "Especially live ones. The others are just too…"

They looked at each other and shivered. "Yuck!"

Phil smiled evilly. "Simple solution, guys. Get the hell out of Hades."

"Do you know how scary it is on the outside for us, Pops?" Pain pleaded. "Hercules still hasn't forgiven us."

"Yeah." Panic said. "And now he's got a grownup daughter, Seph, who's as strong as he is and who until she and her dad had a falling out was just as eager as he was to kick our butts and did she do some butt kicking." Panic shivered and looked around anxiously as if Seph was going to come at him from behind one of the piles of garbage to do just that.

Phil grinned as a blonde nymph whispered suggestively in his ear. "Not my problem, guys. Come here, sweet cheeks." The picture did a fade.

A moment later it snapped to an image of Mount Olympus. "And this ends our broadcast day from high on Mount Olympus." A deep godly voice proclaimed. "The following program is brought to you by Morpheus, god of slumber- ". The picture snapped off as Pain savagely pressed the remote with the point of his tail.

"Well, that was a waste of time." He groused. "You got any more ideas, Panic?"

"I know, I know! We can watch the latest video."

"Oh, yeah? What is it?"

"Ooh, OOH! Seph Fights the Minotaur." Panic replied, waving a disk with a red-haired woman's picture.

"Don't we have anything else? We've seen that one at least twenty times."

"Well, we have some workout disks called 'How to get Buns of Granite just like Hercules.' They were a gift from Hercules. I wonder if he was trying to tell us something." At Pain's negative grimace, indicating no way, no how, he stuck a stone disk in a square rock.

The wall screen relit with a picture of an athletic red-haired girl with a well muscled but highly attractive body gesturing to a horde of Greek warriors behind her while she brandished a shining sword. Her armor plates flashed in the sun and her short skirt with leather strips swirled about her shapely legs. Peals of thunderous music filled the cavern. Panic leaned back and picked a bag of popcorn out of the trash. "Even if she likes to chase us, I never tire of watching her."

"She's certainly better built than the Parthenon and easier on the eyes." Agreed Pain. The two settled back with wolfish grins as the camera did a close up of the girl, filling the screen with her gorgeous face, dominated by deep green eyes you could drown in. "It's a good thing she broke off with her dad's hero bit and went into the movies or we would see her only when she was chasing us."

Panic grinned at him. "She's also a lot better looking than her dad, takes more after her mother, Meg."

"Good thing, too. Can you imagine if she took after her dad in looks? Eyuck!" Pain replied causing Panic to spit out a mouthful of popcorn.

Before Panic could recover, the wall screen abruptly exploded in a shower of rocks and smoke as flames consumed the disk player. The two of them were blown into a corner where they huddled, clutching each other in fear as bits of flaming trash fell around them. Their eyes grew wider and wider and their skins paled to almost bone white as a smoke shrouded figure with burning eyes approached them.

"How dare you defile my kingdom with trash like her?" A savage voice shouted. Green and purple flames surrounded them and the cavern shook to the reverberations of the deadly voice as rocks fell in a roar around them.