"Hey, is that her?" Hanna tilted her chin in the direction of Emily's left shoulder. "Paige McCullers?"
Before she could catch herself, Emily's head whipped around to see where Hanna was looking. Her head jerked so fast that Paige picked up on the motion in her peripheral vision and looked over on reflex. Emily, mortified, whipped her head back just as quickly as it had whipped over. Then, realizing how guilty it made her look, she turned around in a more controlled fashion, wiggling her fingers in a shy wave. Paige smiled self-consciously and waved back.
"Hanna!" Emily whispered, smacking her on the shoulder. "Why did you do that?"
"Do what?" Hanna sniped with a scowl. She knew that she hadn't done anything wrong.
"You made me embarrass myself in front of Paige!"
Hanna scoffed. "Oh, God, Em! Just admit that you have a crush on her." Hanna hung the Drexel sweater that she had been looking at back onto the rack, and, thumbing through some others, not looking at Emily, she continued, in a dry, matter-of-fact tone, "Admit it to me, admit it to yourself, and admit it to Paige McCullers."
"Okay, first of all, Hanna, I don't!" Emily's denial was a bit too emphatic. "And, even if I did, I couldn't, because Paige wouldn't, so you'd better not..."
"She's still looking at you," Hanna interrupted with a smirk.
"What?"
"She's staring at you," Hanna said firmly. "She hasn't taken her eyes off of you."
"Hanna..." Emily's tone was dismissive, but she subtly switched her position with Hanna's so that she could see for herself what Hanna claimed to be seeing. While they were doing their little pas de deux, Paige managed to shift her gaze away from Emily, but not quickly enough to keep Emily from confirming that she had, in fact, been looking, as Hanna had said. But Emily still wasn't willing to concede. Instead, she rolled her eyes. "She was probably just trying to figure out what our situation is," she said, pointing between herself and Hanna.
There was history behind Emily's words. It wouldn't have been the first time that people had wondered about her and Hanna. Emily tended to be very touchy-feely with her friends, and especially so with Hanna. It didn't bother them that people got the wrong impression, but they were both well aware of the "are they or aren't they?" vibe that they often stirred up.
Still, Emily found herself smiling at the thought that Paige McCullers might actually have been staring at her. She subconsciously adjusted her shirt and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to ensure that she looked okay from the back, in case it happened again. Hanna rolled her eyes. "Oh brother!"
" 'Oh brother' what?"
Hanna shook her head. "Nothing. Nothing. Here - just help me try this on."
"That's... uh... that's a nice color," Paige said, her eyes aimed at the hunter green top that Emily was wearing over a pair of dark leggings.
It wasn't a casual comment, although Paige hoped that it sounded like one. Paige had been rehearsing it ever since the beginning of practice. When she was walking out to the pool, she thought that she'd heard Emily say something to her, but, since she wasn't sure, she didn't turn around and acknowledge her. She spent most of the rest of practice worried that she had offended Emily - or that Emily thought that she was playing games with her, trying to seem aloof. So, she needed to come up with something that she could say to Emily; like something that a person would say to another person. She had noticed Emily's long-sleeved, green top, cinched around her waist with a wide black belt, before Emily changed for the pool. It looked nice on her, but how could she tell Emily that without being too forward or seeming inappropriately flirty?
She finally settled on words that seemed casual enough. The color was nice; not the way that the sweater curved where Emily did, not how soft and huggable it made her look; not the way that it begged to be touched.
(Paige had visualized herself touching the sleeve when she delivered the compliment. Had their roles been reversed, Emily certainly would have had no qualms about touching Paige's sleeve. But Paige was just fooling herself. She knew that she didn't have the guts.)
"Thank you," Emily said, with the sweetest smile, still running a brush through her hair.
Paige nodded once. Mission accomplished; compliment delivered. She turned to walk away, but stopped herself. "We should, um... have lunch sometime."
"So you've said!" Emily's smile was still inviting, as she reminded Paige that they had had that discussion before.
"Does tomorrow work?"
Emily didn't bother to think it over. "Tomorrow would be perfect."
"Hanna!" Emily whined, exasperated. "Quit playing around! Just tell that me you'll do it!"
"Emily… When did you become such a wimp? Back in high school, you had game!"
"That's because," Emily said, her voice growing more annoyed with each word, "in high school, things were different. If I liked a girl, she liked me, back. I mean, even if I didn't like a girl, she liked me."
"Jeez, Em," Hanna teased, knocking shoulders with her friend. "Cocky much?"
"You know what I mean…"
"I know," Hanna admitted. "So, why is college any different?"
"I don't know, Hanna!" Emily almost shouted. "I wish I did!"
"Em, you're still the same chick-magnet you've always been. That's my point – nothing has changed."
"Yeah – I haven't changed. I'm still the same fish. I'm just in a bigger pond. Paige McCullers can pick and choose any 'fish' she wants. And she's obviously not interested in this fish." Emily pointed at herself with both index fingers.
Hanna shook her head rapidly, not getting Emily's metaphor at all. "Well, you can have any fish you want, too, Emily. Or tadpole or platypus or whatever!"
"Whatever!" Emily had reached her limit. She wasn't frustrated with Hanna. She was frustrated by her attraction to Paige, and by not knowing whether or not she even had a shot with her. "Can you just work with me tomorrow?"
"Ugh, fine." Hanna threw her hands up in surrender. "I'll go along with your little scheme. I'll surprise the two of you on your little lunch date…"
"It's not a date!"
"and," Hanna continued, not acknowledging Emily's denial at all "drop little hints about which team you play for."
"And you'll be subtle? Promise?"
"Emily, please!" Hanna seemed genuinely shocked and offended at the implication. "Have you ever known me to be anything less than subtle?"
That question was so ridiculous that Emily didn't even bother to answer. She just rolled her eyes and corralled Hanna by the neck. "Just do your best. Not for my sake, but for Paige's."
"So, Paige, you got a girl back home?"
Paige's mouth dropped wide open. She couldn't fathom that this total stranger who had ended up behind her in the long cafeteria line would ask her something that forward.
"Or a boy," Hanna continued, when she got no reply. "No judgment!"
Emily crashed into Hanna, fighting to get her breathing under control. It had been a mad dash from the entrance to the cafeteria to the spot where, after scanning, she saw Paige, literally cornered by Hanna. She didn't need to be able to hear what Hanna was saying to Paige. She could read the expression of extreme discomfort on Paige's face, and she knew Hanna long enough to why the expression was there.
"Hanna!" she shouted by way of greeting.
"Oh, hey, Em!" Hanna gushed, sounding genuinely surprised. "I was just talking to my new friend, Paige! I think you guys swim for the same team!" Hanna's eyes danced at the innuendo. Emily tried to be subtle as she jammed a rebuking elbow into Hanna's ribcage.
"Paige." Emily gave her a nervous smile, nervously fidgeting with the charm on her necklace. "I see you've met my roommate." Emily glared at Hanna, her voice shifting to a growl as she whispered, "You're early!"
"Oh, I… uh…" Paige, overhearing, ran her fingers through her hair. "I didn't know that you two had lunch plans."
Paige picked up her backpack, already charting a course for the exit, but Emily grabbed her arm, and she froze. "No, we don't!" Emily said quickly. Her voice switching from desperate to angry, she repeated, "She's early!"
"Oh, whatever!" Hanna exclaimed, throwing up her hands. "We're all here now, so let's just eat, already! I'm starving!"
Emily's expression softened as she looked back to Paige and mouthed the word, "Please?" Paige shrugged and managed a smile. There would be less pressure on her if Emily's friend was there, anyway, she thought.
She had no idea what she was in for.
Paige sat down across from Emily at the rectangular table that they had chosen. Hanna sat next to Paige.
When a student with black hair, black jeans, and a black shirt walked past, Hanna nudged Paige with her elbow. "Hey, Paige," she half-whispered, "check out the goth chick! She looks just like Carzilla!"
Paige, in the middle of chewing, shielded her mouth with her hand. "Carzilla?"
"Yeah - you know! The lesbionic vampire from that Web series!"
Paige furrowed her brow in confusion, smiling nervously and glancing, helpless, at Emily. "I'm sorry?"
"Carmilla," Emily blurted out, shooting Hanna a look that said, "Chill!"
"I know!" Hanna mouthed, scowling impatiently and tilting her head towards Paige, upset that Emily had sprung the trap she had been trying to get Paige to step into.
But, unfortunately for Paige, that wasn't the only trick that Hanna had up her sleeve. Things went steadily downhill from there.
Paige had heard of people who had no filter, but she had never experienced it in real life; certainly no one on Hanna's level. She was a bit dazed and confused by the time the meal was over.
"So, anyway," Emily said with a sad smile as she and Paige walked over to drop their trays off at the conveyor belt. "That's my roommate. She can come on a little strong, but…" Emily trailed off.
"But… you get used to it after a while?" Paige offered.
"I don't know," Emily said, wiping her hands with a napkin after she let go of her tray. She tossed the napkin onto the tray as it worked its way down the belt. "I've known her for… 19 years? – and I still haven't gotten used to it!" Emily's smile was a little shy, and she bit her lip, turning her body to face Paige's fully. "But, I hope she didn't offend you. I mean, she's harmless, really. She means well. She could just do with a filter."
Paige shrugged, putting her hands into the pockets of her hoodie. Emily had already picked up on this as Paige's self-defense pose. "It was fine," she said, shaking the hair away from her face to reveal a warm smile.
"Well? How'd it go?" Pru came bursting out of her seat as soon as she heard Paige's key in the door. Her voice was squeaky from excitement, and she couldn't keep still.
"How'd what go?" Paige played dumb. She didn't want to have that conversation – not in the hyped-up state that Pru was in. And not in the sullen mood that she, herself, was in. She was, frankly, disappointed and a little angry that she had ended up spending most of the meal talking with Emily's roommate rather than with Emily herself.
Pru sighed, annoyed at Paige's avoidance, but still bubbly. "Your lunch date with your hot teammate!"
"Okay, first of all, it wasn't a date. She brought her roommate along, for crying out loud!"
"Her roommate?" That news threw Pru for a loop.
"And I don't even think she likes girls!"
"Paige. Please. After everything you've told me?"
"She's just a very friendly girl, who happens to be rather touchy. I know a ton of girls like that. And not one of them is gay."
Pru rolled her eyes. "You know, Paige, for a lesbian, you've got the worst gaydar of anyone I've ever met."
"Pru…"
"So, what was the roommate like?"
Paige chuckled, pausing a moment, trying to come up with a description. "She was… a handful." She went on to describe Hanna's no-holds-barred style of interrogation, pausing when she noticed the smile that was reappearing on her roommate's face. "What?"
"Now it makes sense! Emily was trying to feel you out, but she brought the roommate 'cause it would've seemed too forward if she had asked all the questions herself."
"Pru, why do you just assume that every girl I have a crush on is in love with me?"
"Or, more like, why do you assume that they're not?"
"Uh… because I'm smart!"
Pru sighed, pursing her lips sadly. She reached over and stroked Paige's hair. "I worry about you, Paige. You could have such a great dating life if you just had a little more self-confidence."
"Prudence!"
Paige winced as Pru yanked her hair as punishment for using her full name. "I'm serious, Paige. What are you so afraid of? You're Paige Mc-fucking-Cullers! What did you tell me they called you in high school? The Conquistador!"
"Okay, they called everybody on the swim team that, Pru. That was our mascot!"
"Well, I'm just saying, if you were going up against Emily in a swim meet, you'd wipe the floor with her! Or, the pool, or whatever. But, now, since she likes you…" Paige opened her mouth to reply, so Pru repeated herself louder, "since she obviously likes you, you run away from her like a frightened little kitten."
Paige let out a heavy breath. "I don't know, Pru." She started to pace, running her fingers through her hair. "It's not easy, okay? In the pool, it's straightforward." Paige dropped her hands in front of her in a chopping motion as she made her point. "I'm there to kick ass, and that's what I do. But talking to a girl…"
"Paige, you talk to girls all the time!"
"You know what I mean, Pru."
Pru gave her a hug. "I know, Paige. But I wish you could just take a chance, you know? Not just for your sake, but for Emily's sake."
"Emily's fine without me." Pru shook her head in disbelief. "Believe me," Paige reiterated. "She could have any girl – or guy – she wants."
"Well, what if she wants you?" Pru asked softly.
Paige walked slowly over to her bed and plopped down on it. "She invited me over for dinner next week."
"Ahhhhh!" Pru squealed, pulling Paige back up to her feet and into a hug. "Paigey!"
"Prudence!"
Pru backed off, with her hands up in apology for using the nickname that Paige hated as much as she, herself, hated "Pru." "Okay, but – this is good news, right?" Paige bit her lip, rocking back on her heels. "Oh, come on!" Paige raised her eyebrows questioningly. "Damn it, Paige! How are you going to spin this as a bad thing?"
"I'm not saying that it's a bad thing." Paige was trying her best to keep her tone even, hoping that her nonchalance would bring Pru back from the high that she was on. "I'm just saying, don't read too much into this. She asked me over for dinner to make up for Hanna's behavior at lunch, that's all." Pru still wasn't buying it. "You know, it's the same as when I invited her to lunch, to make up for getting up and leaving her all alone after she came over and sat down at my table the other day."
"Okay, so you're telling me that you weren't hoping that something might happen when you invited Emily to lunch?"
Paige sighed, realizing that there was no winning that discussion. "Okay, so it isn't exactly the same," she muttered to herself, hoping Pru would let it drop.
A/N - It's been so wonderful to hear from old friends - and some new ones - again. Thanks so much for your views, reviews, PMs, follows, faves, and tweets! I'm blown away! 3
