Longed For Someone To Hold

A Penelope Garcia/Derek Morgan Multi-Chaptered Fan Fiction

Chapter Two

Derek hated the silence that filled the car, but he refused to turn the radio on. His current philosophy was that if Penelope wanted to listen to it then she could turn it on herself. She had no issue, in the past, of commandeering the radio and everything else within his life, so why would she now?

What he did not realize was that for the first time since she had met him, she was completely uncomfortable being around him. If he had not been driving and focusing on the road then he would have noticed it without using one of his skills as a profiler, because it was obvious that she would have preferred to be anywhere than with him in his SUV.

She had her feet firmly planted on the floorboard with her hands demurely folded in her lap. Her jaw was tightly clenched, her eyes casted downward, and her lip quivered ever so often as if she would start crying uncontrollably. Dear lord, why had she talked Hotch into persuading Rossi into having this cooking class, all she wanted to do was go home, cry until it hurt to cry more than the actual reason for the crying. She was ashamed and disgusted with herself for embarrassing and angering him. Was he angry with her, because she had wanted to kiss him or was it, because he finally seen what had been in front of him; that she was in love with him and had always wanted more than the close friendship that they had shared?

What she did not realize was that he thought that she was mad at him for propositioning her. After all, who would want someone that you only ever saw as a friend attempt to seduce you? When he had agreed to pick her up from her apartment he had not planned to use that as an excuse to seduce her, but their normal banter got out of hand entirely too fast. He mentally berated himself for his stupidity and confusion. He was so thoroughly confused with her behavior that he could not profile her to figure out why she reacted the way she did. How did she go from wanting him to seduce her only a few years ago to now only seeing him as a best friend? Did her love for Lynch cancel out the lust she had once felt for him? He snorted aloud at the thought and was not surprised when Penelope said nothing and did nothing in response.

Although, she did not outwardly respond to his random snort, inwardly she broke just a tad bit more. Just when she thought she could hurt no more, something occurred to prove her wrong. He was laughing at her. Derek Morgan was laughing at her, Penelope Garcia. She tampered down the bile that slowly rose up her throat. She felt as if he was laughing at her, because she had fleetingly thought that she had a chance with someone like him. She hated feeling like this. She was a confident woman that felt she was passingly attractive, but she knew that women like her did not ensnare men like Derek Morgan. Although, she knew that Derek was not as shallow as what she had once perceived him to be, she felt unworthy of him. A few years ago, she was sure that she could get him in her bed, but it would have been for one night only and she wanted so much more than that with him, for them. She had thought that Derek would have never hurt her, yet he was hurting her more than anyone had ever had. A bullet from Battle had not hurt this long and hard. Her injury had eventually healed and scarred over, yet she felt as if that same fate was not possible for her heart.

She recognized a landmark that was close to Rossi's house and silently sighed. They were almost to Rossi's Mansion and she could immerse herself into the team dynamic and distance herself from Derek for a few hours before the ride back home. She cursed Esther for needing maintenance work done and herself for dropping Esther off at her mechanic's garage. While Reid had driven her home from the garage, she should have tried harder at persuading him to come to the cooking lesson, because she could have ridden with him, which meant that she would not have made the mistake of giving Derek a glimpse into her deepest desires. She hoped that Reid would decide to come to the cooking lesson not only as an avenue of escape, he could give her a ride home, but because she hated to see her family crack from within.

Derek's phone rang when they approached the wrought iron gates that guarded the long driveway to Rossi's mansion. Startled by the unexpected sound, he quickly answered the phone. "Morgan."

"It's about damn time!" Rossi exclaimed. Derek winced at the sound and was grateful that he had not encountered Rossi when he was a green rookie. The man could have a hell of a bite behind his voice.

Before Derek could retort, Penelope spoke for the first time since entering the car over thirty minutes ago. "Oh, hush my Italian Stallion. I was busy seducing my very own personal Chocolate Adonis.

Derek's eyes and eyebrows flew upward as his head went backward to tilt upward before he inwardly muttered, 'what the hell.'

He had never met a woman who could infuriate and turn him on at the same time until he had met Penelope Garcia. As Derek listened to her flirt with Rossi about her seducing powers, Derek decided then that she needed to decide what she wanted from him, because he had wanted more from her for far too long. He was through with the hinting and implying that he was in love with her. He was no longer going to let her misinterpret his declarations of love. As soon as he got her alone tonight after the cooking lesson, he was going to tell her, and if by God if it took him telling her or showing her in front of the entire team, he would. He hoped that she was secretly in love with him or at the very least could see herself falling in love with him, hell at this point he would settle for her being in lust with him again. The only thing that had stopped him from declaring his feelings or taking advantage of her attraction for him in the past was, because he was afraid that it would damage their friendship to the point that they would only be friends and not Penelope and Derek, best friends. He was sure that his mini-seduction of her earlier had done some sort of irreparable damage. As it seemed as if he had already lost her, what else, did he have to lose?

"We are not late. You said to be at your mansion at seven, mon cher. It is fifteen minutes until seven."

The wrought iron gates finally opened and he handed the phone to her. His fingers brushed her palm and he heard her quietly gasp. He smirked at her reaction. If she felt anything at all for him, she still held unto the lust that she had felt for him earlier on in their friendship, it should have made him feel like a complete jerk, but it did not. He was through with being the nice friendly playful gentleman; Derek Morgan The Player was more than ready to come out and play with one hot mama named Penelope Garcia.

He hoped that she loved him as he did her, because if not he would spend the rest of his days disappointed within himself for temporary using her to satisfy his fantasy of being with her mind, body, and spirit. Her heart was something that he rarely thought that he could have, because who would want to love someone who she knew had not only trust issues, but commitment issues.

What he failed to realize was that often times a person does not choose who to love, it happens unexpectantly, and sometimes it hurts.

To Be Continued

Note: Thank you for taking the time to read this story.