Experimental
Chapter 2
The Wonders of Growing Clones

* * *

Sitting cross-legged on the same hospital bed, Naruto and Naruko stared each other in the eye.

"You're pregnant."

"We're pregnant." She corrected. "We're technically the same person. The only difference is my female bits."

"And the sort-of clone you're growing."

"Well, yeah." Naruko shrugged. "It makes sense that if two people who are completely the same have a kid, it'll be their clone."

"Will it be male, or female?"

"God knows."

"Kyuubi probably does."

"Bastard. I bet this is his fault."

"Same."

The four worried medics exchanged glances, and then mustered their courage.

It was time for long and extensive medical examinations.

* * *

"Your pregnancy is not a normal one." A medic declared with absolute certainty.

Naruko eyed her. "No, really?"

Ignoring her barb, another continued. "The foetus--"

"The what?"

"The unborn baby."

"Oh. Carry on."

"The foetus is growing much faster than it should be."

"Meaning...?"

"Your prisoner may have something to do with this."

"I KNEW IT."

The current assembly winced at the volume of two loud voices screeching in unison.

"yes, yes, but we must focus on the matter at hand." Generic Medic 2 cleared his throat. "The point is, you'll probably give birth in the next two weeks. That's not normal AT ALL. It takes normal human females nine months."

"Well, I'm not technically pregnant. I'm just growing a clone who will probably be physical." Naruko pointed out.

"It only takes a second to make a Kage Bunshin." Naruto agreed. "And we're not creating anything new, here. I guess actual babies take that long to grow 'cause they've got a whole different body to build. But all of me is already here, so it can just copy what was done already."

"That was...surprisingly intelligent." The medic blinked.

"The Kyuubi was known for incredible regenerative powers." Another mused. "That probably helps."

"Probably."

"Yes."

* * *

"You BASTARD." Naruko screamed, emptying the contents of her barely-real stomach into the grotty toilet.

"You know you just insulted yourself, right?"

"YES I DO."

"Kami, you're moody." Naruto whistled. "I guess since you're squishing the whole pregnancy thing into two weeks, you'll have it much worse than other women."

Naruko screamed wordlessly, throwing up again and then passing out backwards. Naruto watched the resounding thump with interest, unconcerned for her safety, since he knew the chakra would protect her.

"I'm so glad I'm the original."

* * *

"NARUTO!"

The unmistakable shriek of female indignation sounded simultaneous with the resounding thump on the doors.

Naruto and Naruko froze in horror.

"Quick, hide! Into the bathroom, you can't risk the baby, and there's no way she'll go near that much vomit without being forced to!"

"What do you mean, risk the baby? I'm chakra reinforced!"

"You think that will stop her? GO!"

Trembling with fear, Naruko made her way into the putrid bathroom, taking refuge behind the sink.

Fearing for his life. Naruto reached out and opened the door.

He promptly found himself in dire need of being peeled off the wall.

Struggling back to his feet, he came face-to-face with an amused Kakashi, a mildly annoyed-looking Sasuke, and a fuming Sakura.

Cringing, Naruto looked up at them, large blue eyes begging for mercy. "...Hi?"

"NA-RU-TO!" Sakura intoned ominously. "Where have you been? You're later than Kakashi-sensei!"

He blinked, surprised. He hadn't been sure what he'd done to invoke his teammate's wrath, but hopefully, he could actually get out of this alive. If he was lucky. "What, you mean Old Man Hokage didn't tell you?"

Sakura blinked, tirade thrown off. "What?"

"What didn't the Hokage tell us?" Kakashi inquired politely, then his nose wrinkled beneath the mask. "That you're terminally ill? I can smell the vomit from here."

"So can I." Sasuke remarked.

"I'm not ill." Naruto protested. "She is!" He pointed towards the bathroom. As if on cue, the disgusting sound of splattering sick filled the air, followed by an unhealthy flushing sound.

"We're the same person, you IDIOT!" Naruko hollered.

"Who's that?" Sakura blinked, astonished.

"I didn't know there was a girl desperate enough to hook up with you." Sasuke smirked.

"Shut up, bastard."

"Shut UP, BASTARD!" Came the hauntingly similar voice from the bathroom.

"She's not a girl." Naruto explained. "Not really. She's my clone."

"Sexy no Justu? I'd heard of that." Kakashi's eye crinkled in amusement. "So, how is it possible for a shadow clone to be sick?"

"Well, Naruko--"

"Naruko?"

"We named her, alright?" Naruto snapped, irritated. "She's going to be around for a while, so it was a good idea."

"...Carry on."

"Naruko isn't a normal shadow clone." Naruto explained. "She used to be, but..."

"But...?"

Naruko waltzed from the bathroom, looking supremely annoyed. She held a green-tinged towel in her hands, obscuring the slightly bumped stomach. "There's a very easy way to explain this." She announced. "Two words."

"Ah." Naruto nodded. "I getcha."

"...And...?" Sasuke drawled, impatient.

Naruto and Naruko exchanged a glance, and then, in unison, said two words.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *