Nikki: Oh my god! I love all of my readers! So I'm going to take the time to reply to the reviews I got.

XxDARKxX: I hope you love it even more as the story goes on. I'm trying to type the story down from my notebook as fast as I can so please be patient. Thanks for being my first reviewer!

Shiroyuuko: Okay, okay! Don't hurt me! I'm typing as fast as I can. I love Ciel like this too. Thanks for reviewing!

LOL (): I almost cried for Ciel, and I made him like that. Maybe I'm just too sensitive. Don't know where I came up with the disclaimer it just popped up on the screen. Thanks for reviewing!

ThatsRightKeepStarin: I've never read it until I read this review. This story was from my creative writing class from way back when! I knew this story was an idea a lot of people had, so I wanted to make it my own. But hey, great minds think alike! Thanks for reviewing!

Promocat: I know right, but I know what's going to happen in the end so I shouldn't really say anything, yet. Sebastian's going to show up very soon. HEHEHEHE…

Jenmoon1: Here's your update.

Disclaimer: I am not making money off of Ciel Phantomhive. So I'll just make money like every other person, by hoping to win the lotto.

I'm standing in my bathroom, my wrist and upper arms are covered in tiny cuts. I've never done this before, but I never expected it to hurt so… little. I expected a searing burn not a little sting. It's too late to stop though, the damage is done.

My left arm is in the sink and blood is trailing down my arm. Perhaps those cuts weren't as small as I thought…

The blood is a deep red; with a black tint at random spots. The palm of my hand is now a pool filled with blood. The sight is disgusting and elegant at the same time.

My arms feel heavy again, but not with sleep this time. This time the heaviness is a deep empty feeling. Maybe…I should stop the insistent bleeding.

I want to fall asleep but I don't think I should. I'm starting to see dots form in front of my eyes. I'm thinking I should scream for help but I can't find the voice within myself.

Damn, I should have stopped the second the bleeding got worse. My conscience said I should, but I didn't listen. Now it's too late and by the time my mom finds me I'll be a rotting corpse.

I'm starting to think, I wanted this to happen.I wanted to die. It doesn't seem bad, dying I mean… Cutting was a mistake from the beginning. I knew this was going to happen.

The dots are getting bigger and bigger. At one point they even seem to cover both of my eyes for long periods of time.

I'm still conscious I can tell. I still feel the numb yet searing pain in my left arm. From the T.V. shows I've watched and books I've read, you are supposed to feel nothing when you pass out. At least that's what I hope. Or else this is going to be one painful experience.

Is it just me or does the bathroom look darker than before? Has it always been so cold in here too?

Shit! I'm so dead…literally.
Then everything went dead… and black.

[*.*.*.*]

It's red. Everything is red… I want to scream for I know what is going to happen. I see a face flash before my eyes before the shrill sound can come out though.

I recognize the face, but before I scream at the sight of my attacker, the second one appears. This time when I try to scream the sound doesn't even form in my throat. I try again; the person I am is very persistent. Though I don't hear anything but a small distant voice.

"Ciel. Ciel! CIEL!" The voice is getting urgent- I couldn't care less.

Someone is touching me. It's a desperate sort of shove.

"Ciel, please wake up!" Now it's a wail-like sob.

Is that my mother's voice? It sounds like her but what would she be doing in hell with me. I'm sure she wouldn't have killed herself. She has so much to live for. So what in the world is going on?

"GOD DAMMIT CIEL WAKE UP!" The voice is angry and cracking. I feel like I should probably respond to the voice but the darkness is so calm and comforting. I don't want to leave it.

"I said wake up!" I feel like someone is touching me on my legs. Thank God they are smart enough to not touch my arms; I think I would die again if they did. My mother used to shake my legs like this for months after the accident. In actuality it does feel like my mother's hands and it sounds like her. Could I still be alive?

The thought alone frightens me, and I bolt up in the bed I can guess I'm in.

[*.*.*.*]

It's a sterile room. The walls and curtains are unadulterated white. I'm lying in an equally white bed, with unstained pure white bed sheets. Located next to me is an IV filled with a clear liquid in a bad and a deep red colored material next to it. I hope the red liquid is not what I think it is. (I'm just going to say it's Kool-Aid. Everyone likes Kool-Aid).

The hospital seems to be silent, with the exception of the monitor's dead-fast beating. I gulp at the sight of my mom and dad. I start to raise my left arm to wave with a nervous smile… though I can't. I visibly wince at the feeling shooting through my arm.

It's like a painful numb. The pain I got from cutting was nothing compared to this. This was like a million times worse. It hurt so much, like getting struck by lightning and getting shot in the head, 40 times.

I grab the miniscule bicep on my forearm. I can tell there are bandages around my arm.

My mom is crying and glaring daggers at me. The actions make me feel bad. I'm her only child, the multiple children she wished to have in her dreams died by a notice from a doctor. She was not meant to conceive a child. She lost a child before me, but it just happened to be that I lived. My mom already lost one child- I don't think she can bear letting another slip through her trembling hands.

My dad is looking at me with hate and repulse in his gray orbs. I could name every word I saw he was calling me in his head. I won't though because it isn't very nice language. My dad never liked me for some reason. He probably hates me because he never wanted kids and after he was rid of one another came- and lived.

There's a doctor next to my parents. He looks serious but there's a hint of mischief in his eyes. It's almost as if this is all a façade he put on since my parents are here.

I like him, I mean, I like it.

"Hello Ciel," That doctor says in a deep smooth voice. "I'm Sebastian Michaelis. It's nice to meet you." He continues and I must look like a complete idiot.

"I'm Ciel. It's nice to meet you to." I say bluntly. Now I look like a bigger idiot because I introduced myself when he obviously knows me.

"Excuse me Sebastian, but could you leave us alone with our son for a while." My dad joins the conversation and is hugging my mother for comfort. I'm pleading in my head that Sebastian is smart enough to realize that he shouldn't leave me alone.

"Sure, I'll leave you for a while." I'm cursing him because apparently he isn't the brightest.

"Ciel." It's my dad and his serious tone again. I noticeably gulp and shift to face my parents again.

"Hi mom. Hello father." I try to get away with my dangerous deed by throwing in a smile and sickly sweet tones.

Dad winces at how I utter his name. It's almost as if accusing him of doing something to me, which I am. He's never home and it makes mom sad in turn making me depressed, so that I did this to myself.

At least that's what I'm trying to convince myself to believe. It's futile though, I know it's all a lie to keep myself safe.

"W-why'd you do it?" My mother's voice is breaking as she speaks.

I sit silently in my bed staring into space, thinking. My parents wait anxiously for my answer. I can tell because my father is clenching and unclenching his fists and my mom is biting her lower lip.

"I don't know why I did it. I just did." It seems so simple to me, but my father thinks otherwise.

"What do you mean you don't know why! Ciel this is not you pushing Angela down the stairs, or any other stupid thing you did before, you tried to KILL YOURSELF!" He booms in a raspy voice. I cower under the gaze and tone.

"It was just a scratch." My voice sounds weak as I whisper.

"It was a scratch!" My mom snorts as she picks up a manila folder from my bedside. She opens it and lays the photos- none too gently- on my lap.

"Do those look like scratches?" Now it's my dad's turn again and I can feel the hate emanating off of him.

The photos are grotesque images that are stained with the color of red within them. The red liquid reminds me of my blood and the small patches of white you can see further remind me of my skin.

When I finally put two and two together I realize that this was my arm drenched in blood. The ivory skin now looks smooth, unblemished and pale. In the picture though,the skin was, most definitely, stained with red.

"I was…experimenting?"

The slap that follows echoes off the walls and leaves my face stinging and bruised. My dad looks shocked like he had been the one slapped and my mom looks furious. I can only imagine the look on my own face.

"Do you think this a joke? I don't think this is funny." My dad sounds frustrated and weary, almost tired. I should be sleepy one here.

"I'm sorry." My voice is weak and my head is bowed to my lap.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, 'I'm sorry', you know, for experimenting with cutting and stuff."

"Ciel, you better stop being a smart-aleck." Mom is more exasperated than ever right now.

"It's not my fault I was curious. Did you ever hear the saying curiosity killed the cat? Well think of it like this: curiosity killed the Phantomhive."

"You should have been curious about girls and stuff like that. I was prepared for that. I'm too old for this!"

"You are not old you are only 38, that's middle aged."

I can tell mommy and daddy are getting upset. They probably think I'm loony. Though by the way they are staring at me, I wouldn't be surprised if they did.

"Don't give me that look. I have not lost all of my marbles… yet.

My parents share a look and I even consider maybe I'm insane.

Nikki: Well That's all I have I'll probably be updating every Friday because it's the only day I'm free… HAHA! That's not even true, I just like Fridays the best. So...
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HeHehe. ByeBye!