AU starring Spamano~ C:

Romano has a really bad mouth O:

I hope I got this right… enjoy!

I huddled myself closer together as a raw, wintry breeze embraced my slight frame. Brrr, it was freaking c-cold… My thin layer of threadbare, weather-beaten clothes offered no protection against this abominable weather. No one in my state would expose themselves to the cold, not even the bravest souls – unless they got forcefully kicked out of their refuge by some old, evil witches with a broomstick ("Get your pompous ass out of way before I sweep you into the trash bin!" Well, the old hags didn't exactly said that, but they did imply it).

I sniffled in self-pity as another chilling wind slapped me in the face, but this one was accompanied by a really hard slap (punch, really) from a solid object.

Grabbing the ball which attacked me, I swiftly bolted up and staring murderously at the bunch of brats drowning themselves in peals of laughter. I could practically see red now, and I know it's not just my burning cheeks. "WHO DID THAT?!"

"YAHAHAHA! Tomato face is mad!"

I bit down on my lower lip hard and dug my nails into the ball. Grr… I'm gonna burst it okay! See if I don't! Oh look! My nails are sinking all the way in! Yeahahaha! Now bow down to me you fags! … Was what I had intended, but my fingers were hurting really bad now and the accursed ball was so damn thick. I resorted to scowling and glaring at them, which was what I'm really good at. And that, people, is talent. Ha, take that!

"Hahahahahaha…! Run! Hide! Away from the hideous tomato!" Laughing hysterically, they all fanned out and scattered pell-mell into different directions. I deepened my scowl. All had left running with their tails between their legs (at the sight of my extremely scary scowl, if I might add), all except one.

He was the new kid in the orphanage, Antonio. Wait, why do I even know that? Pfft, whatever. I shall not care, do not care, and I shall just glare at him, daring him to come forth. And no, I did not take a step back (ugh! That's gonna leave a bruise you stupid bench!) when he ran up to me, bobbing his head apologetically, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Are you okay?" He looked down at me with a (concerned?) twinkle in his eye.

Straightening my back to try and glower over him – which I failed terribly at, since he was at least a head taller than me goddammit! – I frowned at him, "What do you think?"

"Ah, you're alright then." Beaming down at me, Anto– he proffered his gloved (ooh that pink, fluffy thingy looks really warm and comfortable… er… nevermind) hand, "I'm Antonio; let's be great friends from now on, okay!"

A lump formed in my throat. What the… Didn't they all despise me? What's with this stupid kid randomly popping up and asking that question? Oh. Hmph, I know… He's just trying to befriend me so that he could make me a bigger laughingstock when I let my guard down. Nuh-uh, no way dude. Narrowing my eyes into slits, I hissed menacingly through gnashed teeth. "I. Will. Not. Fall. Into. Your. Lousy. Trap." With that, I shoved the ball roughly (shit, why did I do that? Should have kept it you idiot!) into his chest and stormed off.

That asshole wouldn't stop bugging me after that. And frankly, it was n-n-n-nic– annoying. I knew I should have sued him for sexual harassment when the neighbourhood police came round that other day. Every day without fail, that irritating bugger would pester me endlessly whenever he saw an opportunity. For example he would come and sit with me at the table during those annoying mealtimes (where everyone else is buzzing like stupid bees chatting and laughing with their stupid friends and spitting food everywhere from their stupid stuffed mouths that just wouldn't shut up) when he would keep blabbering his head off about how I should not keep to myself and make friends with the other kids and that they are actually nice people and…

Did I actually paid attention to that Antonio? …Dammit.

A-anyway.. The most annoying part was when he friggin' sidled up to my bed and had that cocky grin on his face staring at me early in that particular morning when I just woke up and that really freaked the hell out of me and no I absolutely did NOT pissed my pants.

G-g-god, that b-bastard.

…

O-Okay stop thumping now… Breathe breathe breathe…

… STOP TRYING TO BREAK MY CHEST OPEN YOU STUPID VIGOROUSLY THROBBING ORGAN!

S-so, anyway… The old grannies kicked me out again. I hate stupid playtimes goddammit. I strolled aimlessly around the park just several blocks opposite the orphanage. Winter was thankfully over, and I gratefully relished the warm sun on my skin. Ah, what a nice, peaceful (too peaceful perhaps) sunny day with no irritating kids irritating the hell out of me… But I spoke too soon.

Stifled sniggers made me stop in my tracks. Grrr… Those immature rascals were up to no good again. Swivelling to face the quivering bushes where those impish monkeys were not at all trying to hide from me, I stared – like I always do. The bushes stopped quaking and now leaves rustled instead. D-damn… I've a really bad feeling about this…

Squinting my eyes to see what they were about to do, I could discern a furry, chestnut ball prancing in my direction. My eyeballs almost detached from their sockets when I recognised what that ungodly furry thing was – a dog.

F-f-freak…! Flustered and panicky, I stumbled and tripped over my own foot (where did that other foot come from goddammit!) as I desperately tried to crawl away. Scrambling to my feet rather unsuccessfully, a strangulated squeak of fear – I mean, manly shout of bravery – escaped me. W-w-w-why… Why did it have to be a… a… a dog?! And I even had to sprain and twist my freaking ankle (oww, the pain!) now of all times! Damn damn damn damn damn damn damn, I started to chant.

And there came the ungodly "WOOF!".

I squinched my eyelids shut as I steeled myself for whatever came next. B… but nothing happened. Nothing disgustingly hairy (*grimace*) pounced on me.

Reluctantly, I pried open my eyes.

"Shoo!" Someone was waving his or her arms frantically in the air. "Shoo! Bad dog!"

It was Antonio. Brandishing a fallen tree branch balefully at the horrendous dog, Antonio chided, "Bad dog! Bad dog! Sit!" Rather surprisingly, the heinous dog obeyed, even though it lolled its freakishly long tongue and tried to act cute which was an absolutely freakishly revolting sight.

"Hahaha." I could practically feel the radiant beam on his face as he squatted and patted that disgusting abomination of a dog. "Good dog…"

Making sure the big freak of a dog had settled down and would not suddenly attack me (eep!), Antonio turned and scurried towards me. A Cheshire grin on his face, he stooped down in front of me. Once again, he held out his hand.

I- I didn't know what to make of it… I had no family, no relatives, and no friends. Stuck in an orphanage where mischievous little kids teased me every day. Everyone abhorred and bullied me… Everyone, except Antonio. He treated me differently. And… a-a-and I guessed it felt g-good to know that someone c-c-c-cared…

… I did not just say/think that.

…

It wasn't as if I c-cared anyway… Hmph, whatever. My ankle hurts here so yeah it's not as if I want to be Antonio's f-f-friend.

Swallowing, I took his hand.

Just as Antonio pulled me to my feet, I had a strange nagging feeling at the back of my head. The hairs at my nape bristled and goosebumps spotted my skin. And then I realised…

EEEEEEEEK! DOG ESSENCE!...