HOLY MCNUGGETS! 154 views (and continually counting) on the first chapter! Thanks readers!

Gigi: Thanks for giving this story a chance. This is one of my darker stories and you should totally give 13 Reasons Why a look. It's currently on Netflix.

Special thanks to SwiftieForeverAndAlways and EpicKiya

Natasha sat through a very painful class, barely holding in her tears. She could see Steve sneaking looks to her and smirking before hitting Sam with a pencil. Natasha swallowed past a lump in her throat. Later she was standing at Steve's locker.

She heard footsteps before someone stopped and said" "Oh...hey Natasha" Natasha looked up to see the green eyes of Jade Okaia. "Hey," Natasha muttered. "I uh...found a picture of me and Steve when we were kids, thought I'd put it on his locker" Natasha just nodded.

"You okay?" Jade asked gently. Natasha gave her an annoyed look. "People keep asking me that, so don't" and with that she walked away.

Later that day, Natasha was sitting in her living room looking through pictures of her and Steve, when there was a knock at her door. Opening her door to see Bucky Barnes standing there holding a box. Once upon a time, Steve and Bucky were best friends; brothers almost. Until a week before Steve's suicide when Bucky just stopped being seen with Steve. The teen had obviously been crying ad his eyes were red and blotchy.

"Bucky what are you doing here?" Bucky shook his head and just handed her the box "Careful Natasha, and...I'm tape number eight" Bucky then walked to his car leaving the red-head confused.

Placing the box on her table, she opened it to see ten cassette tapes with numbers and names on them.

1. Kara

2. Clint

3. Tony

4. Pepper

5. Annette

6. Bobbi

7. Jade

8. Bucky

9. Sharon

10. Natasha

They were written in Steve's uncanny neat handwriting. Natasha's hand shook as she picked the one with Clint's name up. She remembered that her mother had a tape recorder in the basement and practically ran down there to grab it.

Placing the first tape in it, Natasha started it up.

"Hey...it's Steve, Steve Rogers. And I'm dead! Surprise...not. I bet you're wondering why I died in the first place. Well if you're Kara, it's because you destroyed my reputation. If you're Clint, it's because you ruined my chance at ever graduating. If you're Tony, you made my mother out as irresponsible. If you're Pepper, it's because you made me out as a womanizer. If you're Annette, you became friends with the people who were ruining my life. If you're Bobbi, you promised you'd help me but just tossed me away like trash. If you're Jade, you listened to me...but I didn't mean what I said. If you're Bucky...(Steve growled) you know what you did. If you're Sharon, f*** you. And if you're Natasha...I loved you Nat, I really did"

Natasha could feel the tears itching away at the corners of her eyes as she quickly shut the tape off. She could hear it, the remorse and distress in her now long gone boyfriend. She shivered, as if she was cold... and honestly? She was. Steve, her Steve wasn't there to hug her in the arms she always felt safe in. His lively heat was now a deadly cold, stabbing at her skin like nails.

"Steve...", she whimpered, wrapping her arms around herself, trying to mimic a hug she yearned for. "Steve... I loved you, too..." "So why...?"
Natasha snapped her tearful gaze upwards, not ready for her eyes to meet with a ghostly blue pair. Her sight was blurred from the tears, but she could make out something blue. Just blue. And that voice. It sounded... faded.
"W-what?"
"Why couldn't you tell me this when I was still alive, Natasha? While I was still breathing?!"
Hearing his voice stabbed her, right through the chest. She couldn't be... she couldn't be hearing him. He was dead! Dead! "Steve?", she questioned, wiping away her tears and realizing that in front of her was... Steve. Steve Rogers... who was dead. Natasha had to be dreaming. She must have passed out from crying so much and now she was hallucinating her dead boyfriend. "No... n-no... it's not real! He's not here anymore!", she assured herself, not moving her eyes away from the uncannily blue form of Steve. She could see through him. "He's dead! You're dead!"
"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that, Natasha.", the form of the deceased blonde snapped.
Natasha was indeed shocked to hear such a harsh tone from him, even if she still believed she was making this all up in her head. Steve's voice always had a gentle melody to it. Even when the people he called his friends betrayed him in the worst of ways. He didn't bat an eye during any of it. Steve was better than that... wasn't he?
"Steve..."
"Why, Natasha? I have told you I love you more times than I probably should have. Hell, even my last words alive to you was that declaration. Why was it so hard for you to say it? Don't I deserve an answer for it?"

1h Her throat tightened as she tried to find an answer. In all die hard honesty, she couldn't. She didn't have an answer. "..."
Steve shook his head, disappointment written all over his face. "I knew it. I meant it all those times when I said I loved you. I thought I found someone I could give my heart, too. Someone that I could actually pour my heart out to. I should have know... I should have know I couldn't. You weren't there, Nat!"
Aching. Just aching she felt at the shortening of her name.
"You weren't there when I was being terrorized! You weren't there to ask if I was okay! You weren't there to defend me! I shouldn't have been so blind! I shouldn't have gave my heart out to you! Don't you have anything to say to that?"
"... I'm sorry...", was all she could mumble, feeling as guilty as sin. She realized that she never did say the words 'I love you' to him. Steve deserved that much from her when he was alive. He had always been there for her. Always. But where was she when he was in need? When he was being harassed? Not at his defense she was! "I'm so, so sorry."
"And that's what I expected from you. To be sorry. I tried forgiving you, trying to reason with myself that you wouldn't betray me like the rest of them! I was that kind of a person, wasn't I? I always been told I wore my heart on my sleeve. Just exposed to everyone to break it. And look what happened. I'm dead.", Steve deadpanned, his eyes now dull. "I'm dead and everyone else lives on. They get to forget. They have that privilege."
Natasha just nodded. "I know. But I won't."
"And I expected that from you, too." The redhead watched as Steve bent down closer to her, transparent hands on hers. "Natasha, I know you didn't mean to intentionally hurt me. I know you. I know that you will probably always ache from this. But I wished you would have done better. I wished that I would have done better. I wished I was a stronger person. But I just couldn't bring myself to be."
And with that, he just vanished, leaving her to ponder on so many opened questions.