Woot! Chapter Two! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, I really appreciate them! I also want to thank all of you who read this and added it to favorites or for story alert! And a special thanks to ForASunset'sRise for everything!
Okay, Disclaimer time: I do not own Naruto, if I did, Deidara wouldn't die and Tobi wouldn't be Madara. But I don't…I only own Kalika, Alex, and Sebastian. Oh and I don't own friendly's either. Or the Maine. Or ice cream 'because I ate it all…
Anywhaayyyyzz, onward with the story!
Okay so maybe giving Tobi candy wasn't the best idea in the world. Because right now, I really wish that I were Deidara and could just…BOOM! No more Tobi. But then Alex would be mad and I'd be homeless and that would not be fun. So no Tobi go boom today…
Well, while the members of the Akatsuki were trying to calm Tobi down, I decided to have a meeting… "Yo, Fudgenut number One and Fudgenut number Two, I'm calling an emergency Senior Bueve's spazzy spiffy club of awesomeness club meeting now!" I announced loudly.
Sasori looked at me weirdly and Hidan yelled, "Bitch, we can't go now-"
"I wasn't talking to you, dickface," I interrupted him. "I was talking to Fudgenut number one and Fudgenut number two, not you guys," I rolled my eyes. "Alex, Sebastian, come."
We exited the room, closing the door behind us and made our way into our secret meeting room…i.e. the dining room, yeah…so secret…
"So, what's this meeting about, Kikerz?" Alex asked me.
"It's about this," I said. "My dream come true! My favorite characters from Naruto, here, in my bedroom! Now, we have to…we have to…to…" I looked around, searching under my chair, under the table, everywhere. "Where the fuck is it?"
"Where's what?" Sebastian asked.
"My obsessive notebook of pure obsessiveness…" I stood up, looking on the shelves. "I know it was in here somewhere…OH, NOPE, no it's not. It's in my room, silly me," I giggled, walking through the doorframe, I called over my shoulder. "I'll be back…momentarily…"
Skipping up the stairs, I started humming. It was just some random thing…no particular song…
I opened the door to my bedroom. "That's weird," I said. "I could've sworn I left this open…"
"No you didn't, bitch," came Hidan's voice. "What is this?"
"What's what, my fellow Jashinist?" I froze. "Oh…didn't we tell you guys that you're not actually supposed to be real? That you're just characters from a popular anime? Hmm, guess it slipped my mind. I meant to tell you guys. Sorry. But as you can see from all those pictures in that binder, I'm kinda obsessed with that particular show…Naruto!"
I grabbed the binder from Hidan's hands and tucked it under my arm. "Deidara, why are you looking through my biology textbook?" I asked the blond who was staring at the front cover. "Oh…never mind…just ignore me…that's fine! I see how it is! I-"
"Why is my face in this book," he interrupted my rant.
"Huh?" I walked up behind him, trying to look over his shoulder. "Damn boy, you too tall! Squat down, so I can view what you talking about!"
Deidara sighed, and squatted down. "Ooooh! I drew that!"
"You…drew that, un?"
"Well, yeah…why? You don't like it," I started to fake cry. "because if you don't like it, I can just…I can just erase it…"
"No, I mean, it looks just like me, yeah," he said. "How…?"
I smiled. "Oh well, that's an easy one," I laughed, taking my phone out of my right butt pocket—man, I love jeans.
I unlocked it using my super-secret password—Deidara's name (insert eye roll)—and went to my pictures. "Let's see, saved pictures. Yeah. Now I'm scrolling down…yeah, here we go." I clicked on the picture which I used to draw Deidara with. I showed it to him. "See? That's how!"
He stared at my phone. "Why do you have my picture on that thing?"
"My phone? Oh, well, because, I think you're shmexxyyy…" I said the last part quietly, hoping he wouldn't hear it, but, yet again, I was disappointed.
"You think I'm…shmexy?" he asked. "What does that mean, un?"
I looked at him and pretended to listen for something. "Oh, yeah, Alex I'll be right down!" I yelled. "Love you, Dei. Bye, Tobi, love you others!"
And I ran out of my room and down my stairs. God I'm doing so much running today. Did I mention I hate running? I think it's a waste of effort. Stupid running…here's the junk, unless I'm being chased by some creepy pedophile in a white van, then I am not going to run, but I've broken that rule twice today…TWICE!
Whatever, onward with the story…so I got back to the meeting room, with my obsessive Akatsuki binder under my arm. I held it up in triumph. "I got it!"
I sat at the head of the table, and opened my binder to the first folder that-thank Jashin!—Hidan didn't see yet. I took out the folder and took out a stack of papers. "One hundred and fifty plus ways to annoy the Akatsuki," I said with a devious grin on my face. ""Now, I decree that we do NOT annoy Konan, 'because she's cool. And I like her. And I don't think Tobi can be annoyed, so we'll count him out…Sebastian, you're on Deidara duty-"
"Why can't you be on Deidara duty?" he interrupted.
"Because! I loooove—I like him. I like him ad I don't want to be the one bothering him. Alex and I will split Hidan and Sasori duty. Got it? GOT IT?"
"Yeah, but if any other Akatsuki members poof here, you're taking them," Alex said. "I do NOT have a death wish."
"Okayyyy! I'll have so much fun! Now this is what we'll do…" so I took out some highlighters and highlighted the ones that each of us would do, in different colors of course! Alex was pink, Sebastian was blue and I was purple, obviously.
It's funny because as soon as I highlighted the last one, our five guests walked into the room. I immediately flipped the pages over. "And that is why we need jobs. We need to fix the door knobs AND! Sebastian, you have to put the ceiling fan back up."
"I already did that," he said.
"What?" Sebastian pointed up and I looked only to see that he was right. "Oh, well, does it work?"
"Yeah, Sebastian, did you do the electrical wiring?" Alex asked.
"Yes."
"I want to know if it works!" I demanded. Amazingly enough, the Akatsuki members were really quiet, even Tobi—which is kinda funny seeing as I just gave him candy…
"Okay," Sebastian said, standing up to pull the string.
"Wait!"
"What could you possibly want now, Kalika Dylan Marvil?"
I was taken aback. "Whoa, no need to use my full name…Jashin! I was just gonna get the fire extinguisher, gooooshhhhh!" and with that I skipped away into the kitchen, grabbed the, guess what color?, purple extinguisher. I then skipped back into the dining room-slash-meeting hall. "Okay, you can pull it now," I said, standing in between Konan and Sasori.
Sebastian started the fan which started to spin. "Wow, what do you know, it works!" Alex exclaimed.
"Wait! Give me a second…Five, Cuatro, Three, Dos, One!" and poof. A fire! I stood there, staring at the flame with my mouth hanging open. Did I mention I like fire? A lot? That's what happens when you're father was a fire demon and you're the Hindu goddess of death and destruction, but that's a story for another time.
Oh and I had the fire extinguisher in my hand too. I don't know how to work it though. Which is kind of weird if you think of how many fires we've had in this household.
But Sebastian said I wasn't allowed to use it. he said something about how I would never stop playing with it or something.
To tell you the truth, I would play with it all the time. It would be like my newest toy!
Yeah, well, back to the current problem at hand. My ceiling is on fire. Oh, and Sebastian is yelling at me and just yanked the fire extinguisher out of my hand.
"HEY!" I yelled. "It's rude to snatch!" I hit the extinguisher out of his hand, and threw it across the room, where it burst into flames. How does that happen? I do not know…
It's really funny, this one time I was washing my hands and the toilet burst into flames. I thought it was cool so I went to get some snacks to watch it, but when I came back, Sebastian had put it out. Then he yelled at me and called me incompetent, and he made me cry.
"Now what the fuck are we gonna do," Sebastian yelled at me.
"Um…have you forgotten?" I sassed. "One-half Fire demon, right here." I walked over to the extinguisher and put my hands in the flames. Concentrating on my breathing, I felt the heat being sucked into my blood stream.
Now that I have some fire in my blood, I thought. I can just…I closed my fist, and the ceiling was left, charred.
I smiled, proud of my handiwork.
Now Sebastian is yelling at me again, and I feel like I'm gonna cry. I hate it when people yell at me.
My bottom lip started to quiver, and I knew I was gonna cry. Oh Jashin, please don't let me cry. And…another prayer goes unanswered by my god.
See, when I cry, it's not like in the movies. It is NOT attractive. My face gets red and puffy and I can't breathe which triggers my asthma.
Well, I guess, it's a good thing that I'm still in the silent crying stage. I put my head down, with my hair covering my face. Sebastian is still yelling at me. I feel the tears that are running down my face.
I take in a big gasp of air, great now I'm going into the all-out crying stage. This stage includes whimpering and crying and gasping and the puffy red face.
"stop…" I murmured. But I don't think he heard me. Maybe I didn't actually say it out loud.
I turned around before anyone could see my tears and went up to my room, two steps at a time.
Closing my door now. Now I'm locking it, no one can see me cry, that doesn't happen. Now I'm lying on my bed, crying into my pillow.
I hate how whenever someone yells at me, I cry. I'm too emotional. I hate how I cry and I hate how easily someone can make me cry. And I especially hate how my favorite characters of the Akatsuki saw me cry.
I hate people and I hate the world and I hate my life and I hate…this stage of my crying sequence. This is when I get really angry at anything and everything. I tend to destroy things too.
I dug in my marker basket and pulled out the sharpies that I stole form Sebastian a while ago. Then I started blasting my Sad Songs Playlist, and Misery by the Maine started blasting through my speakers.
Uncapping the markers, I walked over to my white wall, writing along with the lyrics.
I'll say this once again. You people, you aren't my friends.
The devil he can command. Tonight. That's right.
Looking for misery, but she found me, lying naked on the floor.
I was heading insane. The devil told me his name, but he's not welcome here. Anymore
Now I moved over to the next wall, seeing as I wrote too big to write more than the first verse on this one.
Tell me what do you see? (What do you see?) when you're looking at me? (When you look at me?)
The sense of responsibility is killing me, inside.
The music picked up, becoming louder, and I sang along. Well, more like, I screamed along.
LOOKING FOR MISERY, BUT SHE FOUND ME, LYING NAKED ON THE FLOOR! STAY AWAY SWEET MISERY!
I WAS HEADINF INSANE. THE DEVIL TOLD ME HIS NAME, BUT HE'S NOT WELCOME HERE, ANYMORE. STAY AWAY SWEET MISERY!
*Sebastian's point of view*
"LOOKING FOR MISERY, BUT SHE FOUND ME, LYING NAKED ON THE FLOOR! STAY AWAY SWEET MISERY!" I listened to my sister yell.
Alex walked up to me. "She's gonna lose her voice again," she told me, knowingly.
"What the fuck is that?" Hidan demanded.
"It's obviously the girl, the one with the mixed art," Sasori said in a slightly bored tone.
"Kalika, yeah," Deidara added.
"Tobi wants to make sure that Kika-Chan is okay," Tobi yelled, dashing up the steps.
Konan came up to me. "Will she be okay?"
"Yeah, she's just a drama queen," I waved her concern away.
"I don't know, Sebastian, usually she stops after misery, but I hear Because of You and a little while ago I heard You Can Let Go Now," Alex said, concern lacing her voice.
"Will she be alright, hmm?" Deidara asked.
"Tobi will find a way to cheer her up," I said, really hoping that I was right. I needed to go apologize, but right now, she won't have it. I'll do it later, when she cools down.
"I'm going to check on her, un," Deidara said, heading up the stairs with Sasori not far behind.
"I wanna see if the bitch is okay, too," Hidan said, following the other two.
"She won't let them in, will she?" Konan asked from beside me.
"No, she won't," I answered the violet haired girl. "What do you think, Alex?"
"Unless they force themselves in, they'll be out in the hallway for a while," the brunette answered me.
*Kalika's Point of View*
Misery ended, and I still didn't feel better. You can let go now came on and that made me want to cry even more, remembering my father. The song was the exact opposite from my experiences with my father. For one thing, my father wasn't dead, although he might as well be. He left when I was little, so I don't remember much about him.
Now Kelly Clarkson's Because Of You came on and I started writing it's lyrics on my door, in a considerably smaller font.
I heard banging coming from my door that I had just finished writing on. "Can Tobi come in," I heard an innocent voice yell. "Tobi wants to help Kika-Chan because Tobi is a good boy!"
I smiled as I opened the door. I didn't see anything besides a blur of black and orange before I was hugged.
"Okay…okay…Tobi…I need…to…breathe…" I said patting Tobi's back. He let go apologizing like a normal Tobi would. Haha I made a joke. Normal and Tobi in the same sentence…LAUGH! "Come on in Tobi."
He walked into my room and I shut and locked my door again. "What happened to Kalika-Chan's room?" Tobi asked.
I looked around, not really caring that my once pristine, all white room had pink, purple, black, and green lettering all over my walls and doors. I was So gonna regret this tomorrow morning, I thought, but shrugged it away.
"Don't worry about it, Tobi," I smiled.
"Okay, Tobi won't worry," he cheered. "What made Kika-Chan so sad?"
"Well, my big brother was yelling at me, and I don't like it when people yell at me," I said sadly.
"Tobi doesn't like it when people yell at Tobi either," Tobi replied. "Tobi only tries to help. Tobi doesn't mean to be bad."
"Aw, Tobi, you're not a bad boy," I tried to cheer up the now crying Tobi. "Tobi's a good boy! And Kika-Chan is going to take Tobi-san to get ice cream, okay?"
"Can…can sempai come?" Tobi asked hesitantly.
"Um…who's sempai again?"
"Sempai is Deidara-Sempai!"
"Sure, Tobi, of course, sempai can come," I smiled.
"Yay!" Tobi cheered. "Tobi get ice cream with sempai and Kika-Chan! Yayyy! Tobi is a good boy!"
"Yay! Come one, Tobi, I bet I can beat you to the car!" I cheered, running to the door. But, it wasn't open, so I ran into it and fell on the floor. I sat up, pouting a little. "Owie."
*Sasori's Point of View*
Deidara was just about to open the door when a very audible thud was heard from behind it. "What was that, hmm?" Deidara asked in that annoying way of his. (Author's Interjection: You Leave My Dei-Kun Alone Or I'll Use Your Puppets for Firewood!)
"The bitch probably got annoyed with Tobi and threw the little fucker at the wall or something like that," Hidan said. Why does he have to swear so much? It's annoying… (A/I: Growl…be nice!)
The knob turned and opened.
*Kalika's Point of View*
I opened the door with much prompting from Tobi, and, you know me, I was talking. So I wasn't exactly paying attention to where I was going so I ran into someone.
Yeah, well that "someone" happened to be Deidara—to whom I've had a crush on since I was thirteen. That's three years that I've had a crush on him, but now that I know that he's real? It just makes it that much worse.
So, yeah, I walked into him, but Wait! There's more! Then he fell backwards so that we were on the ground, with me on top of him, and no before you ask, it wasn't one of those trip-and-kiss scenes.
And it was really uncomfortable. The only thing that could've made this worse would be if Sebastian came up and saw this. Well, that's not the only thing that could've made this worse…see, this is what happened…
Tobi yelled, "Tobi wanna play too!" and jumped on top of me. Then Hidan yelled "What the Fuck?" and jumped on top of Tobi.
Then Sebastian came up the stairs to see what all the noise was about with Alex at his heels.
Then Alex yells, "Dog pile on Deidara? And no one invited me?" and she jumped on me too. Well, onto the pile.
Next it was Sebastian's turn to jump, and boy did he jump. I groaned quietly in pain and put my head down on Deidara's shoulder. Then I started laughing, like hysterically. It was…just…just no…
Well, I don't know what's going on today, it must be close to my "time of month" because I'm suffering from major mood swings.
Either that or I'm pregnant. Which would be totally messed up, seeing as I'm a virgin…unless I conceived of the Holy Spirit of Jashin? Psshhht, yeah right. It's just close to my time, but…just to make sure…
"Yo, Xela!"
"Yeah, bitch?" Alex replied.
"Did you get your peanut butter yet?"
"Uh…yeah this morning, porque?" (A/I: porque is Spanish for why, just letting you know…)
"So, I'm probably getting mine tomorrow? Stupid body. It's like our punishment for eating the apple first, yeah?"
Alex started laughing. "Yo, Catholic bitch, I'm talking to you!" (A/I: I am not racist against Catholics, I am Catholic, and I hope I don't offend anyone…)
"yeah, yeah, sure, sure," she laughed again.
"I'm in pain," I said. "What about you, Deidara-kun?"
He groaned a little. "Okay," I said happily. "Fun time's over! Get! Off!" I yelled, putting my hands on the ground on either side of Deidara and pushing up while flipping to the side.
"Ow, my elbow hurts now," I frowned, but my smile returned just like that—see? Crazy mood swings!—come on Tobi! Come on, Dei-Kun!"
I stood up, grabbing both Deidara's and Tobi's hands and pulling them up off the floor. "Where are you going?" Alex asked.
"We're going grocery shopping to get stuff to make…wait for it…WAFFLES!" I screamed.
"But I don't want to go, un," Deidara complained.
"I don't give a flying shit and giggles, my little pyromaniac," I said, kissing the tip of his nose.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him down the stairs to catch up with Tobi, who apparently got a head start.
*Hidan's point of view*
What the fuck? Why the fuck would she bring that little turd with her to the grocery store? And then she kisses him? the fuck…
*Sasori's Point of View*
I shifted my gaze away. She's holding his hand, and kissing him. sure, it's just his nose but…wait, what's happening to me?
A/I: *cough cough* jealousy *cough cough*
*Kalika's Point of View*
"Come on, I know a short cut," I whispered to Deidara.
"For what, un?"
"Just shut up and follow me, khajkGWbfuytwgr," I said quietly. "Come now, my friend, and quietly, we do not wish to alert the enemy…"
"The enemy?"
"Shhhh!" once we came through the front door, I ran screaming, pulling Deidara with me, to the car.
Slapping my free hand down on the hood of my special truck, I gave a victory yell, very sophisticatedly-like, if I might add. "Take that you little Fudgenucker! HAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE BEATEN YOU FOR ALL TIME! YOU WILL NEVER RISE FROM THE S=ASHES OF YOUR SHAME AND HUMILIATION! haHAHAHA! VE TE FAIRE VOIR! Mother sasser! Woot! Yeah!"
Just then, Tobi came running out of the house. "Tobi!" I yelled. "Deidara!"
"You don't have to yell, un," he replied. "I'm right here, yeah."
"Check this out," I smirked. Leading Deidara over to one of my windows, I blocked his view and covered his eyes. "There's a reason this truck is my special truck," I whispered in his ear.
"Get on with it, yeah," he said. "And why is your hand in front of my eyes, un?"
"Just wait," I smiled, removing my hand from his eyes, I moved aside, gesturing to the window.
"That...is cool…un…"
"Ain't it?" I agreed, admiring my handiwork.
That particular window, the one of the passenger seat, is a stain glass window of Deidara that I made myself. Well, I made all of them. There was Tobi, Sasori, Pein and Konan in the same window, Hidan and Kisame, and the back…rear view? Window has all the Akatsuki together, ex-naying Orochimaru, the creepy pedo…
"is that even legal, hmm?" he asked.
"Um…I'm not sure. I don't think it is, but I have my ways… MWAHAHAAHAHAH! WORLD DOMINATION!...cough cough…I mean, please step into the vehicle and fasten your seatbelts, tightly and securely," I smiled.
"Come on Tobi," I grinned at the masked man. "I'll help you get buckled in."
"Yay! Tobi gets help!"
I opened the door and moved aside so that he could sit down. "Tobi sits in Tobi side!" he cheered pointing the window, where he was depicted.
I nodded as I leaned over him with the buckle-y thing in hand and pushed it into the…seatbelt depositor…thingy…yeah…
"Deidara, do you need help too?" I asked, noticing the boy' struggles.
He blushed a furious shade of red. "Aw, it's okay, I lo-…I enjoy your company so I won't tell anyone," I smiled cheekily. I buckled him in and played with his hair before closing the door and going to my side.
After taking the necessary safety precautions that are necessary to take before driving to be safe, I started my truck and started down the street.
Pulling into Friendly's, I parked the car, saying, "Please wait until the vehicle has come to a full and complete stop, before undoing your safety harnesses," I laughed. "Wow, I sound like that robo voice on ROLLERCOASTERS! I should take you guys on rollercoasters, but I don't think Tobi can handle it, hmmmm?"
I hopped out of the car, remembering to open the door first—mind you, and called, "Push the red button to get out!"
Apparently they weren't as technologically hopeless as I thought they were because they were because they were out of the car in less than a minute. We walked into the restaurant, where the nice waitress lady greeted us. "Table for three?"
"Um…" I turned to look at the boys. "Did you guys eat dinner yet?"
"NO BUT TOBI'S HUNGRY!"
"Tobi, shhh! No yelling," I told him.
"Tobi is sorry."
"What about you, Dei-Kun?"
"No, un."
"Yeah, table for three!"
"Right this way," the lady said, leading us to a booth table. Tobi decided that he wanted to sit with Deidara, but as soon as they sat down, Tobi pushed Deidara out of the seat and came to sit next to me. He did the same thing, back and forth.
"Okay," I said, standing up. "Tobi, pick a seat, and sit there."
"Tobi wants to sit with sempai, but…but Tobi also wants to sit with Kika-Chan…"
"How about this," I suggested, pulling up a chair. "You sit here and then you can sit next to both Deidara-sempai and Me…"
"No, Tobi want to sit alone."
I deadpanned. If I was in a cartoon, the background would be that bleary color, and my face would be looking down with those blue lines…you know…
Anyway, Tobi forced Deidara to sit in my booth, and pushed me down to sit next to him. soon after the waitress came over. "Are you ready to order?"
"Um…I have a question?" I raised my hand.
"Yes?"
"Um, can we get dessert first? And then our entrees?"
"Um…sure…" I think she thinks that I am weird; can I help it if I like to have ice cream before dinner?
"Yay! Tobi, Dei-kun, pick out what you want," I told them, throwing the dessert menu at them. "Can I have a Hunka Chunka PB Fudge Lava Cake Sundae? Oh…and a cotton candy drink…and a water! Yeah! What do you guys want?"
"Tobi's looking!"
"Uh…"
"Hopeless," I face palmed. "Tobi'll have the Monster Mash sundae and Deidara'll have…have…he'll share with me!"
"What?" he questioned me.
"Well, I'm not gonna finish the whole thing…so we share!"
Yeah, I'm pretty sure they liked the ice cream, seeing as I didn't get any of my own…grrr…"Deidara, I swear, if I didn't like you, I would kill you…eating all of my ice cream…And TOBI! Why you no eat your cherry?"
"Tobi doesn't eat red things, though."
I groaned, reaching over the table, I took his ice cream dish, and I ate his cherry. Did I mention I love cherries? Well, I do.
"Can we leave now?" I asked.
"Well, what about the groceries, yeah? Didn't you say-"
"Yeah, yeah, that was a lie, but I guess I have to…"
Yeah so we went grocery shopping, gross! I made Deidara and Tobi carry the bags, haha. Slave labor. Muahahahaha! Anywhozits, Alex just called me, and…I don't wanna talk to her. Besides she would yell at me for driving and talking on the phone, so…she can wait.
"Deidara, can you bring the bags in please?"
"Yeah."
"Yay!" I cheered. "I hate manual labor! No, wait, Tobi, can you bring the bags in? Deidara, bring me in the house?"
"Yay! Tobi's a good boy!"
I stood up out of the car, closed the door. I'll lock it later…being lazy…nothing different here. Deidara came around to my side of the car. I smiled, gesturing for him to turn around. He rolled his eyes at me, can you believe this? The sass? "Attitudeous little pyromaniac aren't you?" I scolded before climbing onto his back.
Well, Tobi—being the good boy he is—got ALL the bags, and Deidara had me, so we walked into the house. And I was dropped…onto my tosh…"Owie, my butt…" I looked up at Deidara who was staring, open mouthed at something.
Following his gaze, I wanted to…I don't know…scream? Gag? Coo? I don't know!
Sebastian and Konan were making out! Talk about Konan being OOC...
Anyway, that's it for this chapter. I don't know how I feel about it. some places I rushed it, some paces I prolonged it…I just…I don't know… but this is the longest chapter that I've ever written…EVER! Fourteen pages, 4,523 words! So be proud…oh, yeah, "Tosh" is my word for butt, don't ask. So, review me please? Pretty please? Okay I have to leave, Young Justice is coming on!
I love all you beautiful people!
Loves and hugs,
Yours psychotically,
Vee