Greetings Readers! Here comes the next moment!

Warnings: Spoilers for 2x09, also for another story that I wrote in Moments and Minutiae. You don't have to read it - all you need to know is that Arthur has already found out about Freya. (Although it's the third story there, check it out *blatant fanfic plug*)

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of its characters.

Merlin was really beginning to wish Gwen wasn't pregnant.

He'd been almost as delighted as the future parents had been when they'd announced the news, somehow managing to drop an entire stack of armor (although in his defense, he'd been standing next to the cupboard in the armory and when he fell over something had to go). There had been a latent fear he'd refused to acknowledge that for some reason magic would need to be used to beget an heir and that, somehow, the terrible events that had occurred at Arthur's birth would return.

But everything had been fine, Arthur even choosing to embarrass Merlin when he'd expressed his concerns about heirs by commenting highly on his royal virility. That, quite frankly, was far more information than Merlin cared to know on the subject; the two of them were, first and foremost, his friends and some things about their relationship didn't bear thinking about.

So he was glad she was pregnant – it was just that he regretted all the free time she now had on her hands. Gwen had been told to reduce her duties as queen in order to get the necessary rest and avoid stress, and so she spent a lot of time hanging around with Merlin. Her friend couldn't complain about the mandate – as court physician, he'd given it himself – but he certainly regretted what she chose to do with her spare time.

Matchmaking. With him and pretty much every young girl in or around the castle.

Merlin rubbed his eyes in a mix of exhaustion and friendly irritation. "No, Gwen."

"And why not?" Gwen exclaimed, forking her hands on her significantly more ample hips. "She's a lovely girl, Merlin. And she has," her eyes twinkled, "been giggling about you ever since she came to work here."

"I'm surprised she's been able to breathe," Merlin said dryly, trying as hard as possible not to meet Gwen's eyes, "she's been here for two years."

"Merlin!"

Merlin's eyes softened and he smiled at her. "It's a nice thought, Gwen, and she's a nice girl. But I am not interested."

"But," Gwen sat down, groaning slightly as she shifted the unfamiliar weight around so as to keep the baby as comfortable as possible. "I just want to see you happy, Merlin. You've been alone as long as you've been in Camelot – and that's been a long time." She rubbed his shoulder, somehow just missing the slight tension that had entered his body. "I think that any girl would be lucky to have you."

Merlin took a deep breath and smiled again, although it was considerably weaker now. "Thanks, Gwen."

"So why won't you let me find you someone?" Gwen laughed. "Is there something wrong with all the girls in Camelot?"

"Nothing." At least nothing they can't help, Merlin thought, but they'll never be her. "I just – I don't want to find anyone, Gwen. I'm fine as I am."

"Liar." Gwen looked at him. "Why not?"

Merlin put down the flasks of potion he had been stirring and turned fully to face her. He looked her straight in the eyes. "Gwen, let me ask you something. If something were to happen to Arthur," her eyes widened, and he continued hastily, "which it's not, not while I'm around, would you ever want to find anyone else?"

Gwen blinked. "I…no, I wouldn't. It wouldn't be the same."

"Exactly." Merlin nodded, taking both of her hands in his and squeezing them reassuringly. "And neither do I."

"Merlin…" Gwen stopped and bit her lip, cursing the hormones that made her eyes water even as she should be strong for her friend. "What happened to her? Who was she?"

Her friend took a deep breath and stared at their clasped hands for a long moment before looking up at her. "Her name was Freya and," his voice became a little choked, "she died. A long time ago."

"Oh…" Gwen squeezed his hands tightly and then reached up to pull the court warlock into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Merlin. Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"It all happened so fast," Merlin's answer was muffled by her hair, "I barely knew her for a few days before she was…before she died." He snorted, although in more sorrow than in mirth. "Sometimes it feels like it was all just a dream."

"What happened? Was she very sick?"

Merlin pulled back and smiled at her, manfully trying to hide the moistness that was in his eyes even though Gwen knew full well it was there. "Something like that."

"What then?"

"Merlin, have you seen Guinevere?" Arthur's voice came from just outside the opened chamber door and he rounded the corner. "I've been looking every-ah." He smiled in a way that made Gwen's knees weak even as Merlin rolled his eyes in amusement. "What are you two doing?"

"Just talking," Merlin replied, attempting to dry his eyes surreptitiously as he bent over his potions.

"About Freya," Gwen added, and her eyes began to well at the thought of the pain her friend had gone through alone.

Arthur, being Arthur, completely misread the situation. "You told Gwen that I killed your girlfriend?"

As soon as Gwen let out a shocked gasp, Arthur knew he'd made a mistake. Merlin shot him a look that was equal parts irritation and amusement. "Of course I didn't," he said, "I'm not a complete idiot."

Arthur gave him a quick glare before turning to look at the terrifying love of his life as she walked towards him, her eyes flaming. "Arthur Pendragon!"

~.~

By the time that had all gotten sorted (with a little helpful explanation from Merlin) it was time for dinner with a visiting diplomat. Gwen had hurried off with her maidservant to get ready and Arthur had stayed behind with Merlin as he finished clearing up the potions so the two could talk about the ongoing negotiations with the diplomat's kingdom.

It was only through sheer will that Merlin did not lean against the potions cupboard as he closed it. "Arthur…am I needed at the banquet tonight? There are things I need to get done around here that are best done as soon as possible."

Arthur's eyes narrowed slightly in concern, but he managed to keep his voice manly and brisk. "No, you don't have to go. You look like you're about to fall over – last thing I need is for these negotiations to go bad because of you spilling the soup in Lord Ulfric's lap or something equally clumsy." He allowed himself a small smile. "Take a break, Merlin. Anything big can wait until tomorrow."

Merlin simply nodded, and Arthur swept out, his cape swirling out behind him as he went into the corridor. Alone, away from the prying eyes of the court or of the visiting dignitary, he let his expression sink into a frown as the guilt hit him. Years had done little to dull the shame he felt for what he had done all those years ago, or Merlin's heartache, it seemed.

Neither Arthur nor Gwen were themselves at dinner that evening. Luckily, the dignitary had a more than voracious appetite and only needed the most basic of courtly gestures that Arthur gave without having to think much about since they'd been drilled into him since birth. When Gwen asked to be excused, her hand dwelling on her protruding belly pointedly, Arthur had left the table as well, leaving the dignitary in the capable hands of his court. No big decisions were to be made that evening anyway.

After setting Gwen comfortably in a chair back in their chambers, Arthur looked distractedly outside the window and sighed nearly imperceptibly. Gwen, knowing Arthur as well as Merlin did, smiled sadly and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently.

"Gwen…"

"I know, Arthur," she replied, "I'm worried about him too." She stroked the back of his hand with her thumb. "Go on, then. I'd go too, if it wasn't for this," she gestured at her stomach.

"I shouldn't be long," he promised, being torn between worry over his friend and protectiveness over his pregnant wife.

She pulled his face down into a gentle kiss. "Take as long as you need."

~.~

Arthur had known about Freya long before he'd known about the magic, and so knew exactly where to direct the horse as he rode into the dark night. When he had walked into Merlin's chambers only to find them empty, he hadn't been surprised. Whenever the heartache was the worst, Merlin always went to the lake.

His horse neighed in greeting to Merlin's as Arthur dismounted and tied the reins to one of the trees surrounding the lake. Merlin must have heard him approach, but made no effort to look at Arthur even when the king sat down beside him.

They sat there in silence for a long time, Merlin pretending not to have tears welling in his eyes and Arthur pretending not to notice them. Occasionally Merlin would reach down to brush his fingers against the surface and the ripples were make a light noise in the darkness, but otherwise everything was silence and stillness.

"How could you –" Arthur began, only to feel the words caught in his throat. Merlin looked over at him as he tried again. "How could you forgive me? For what I did to her?"

Merlin gave a weary, half-hearted shrug. "It wasn't your fault, not really."

"Not my fault!" Arthur gaped at the other.

"I mean," Merlin waved a hand ineffectually, "you didn't know. That she wasn't just a monster, that she was a girl, that I lov-" Now it was Merlin's voice that choked and unable to continue.

"How can you not be angry?" Arthur asked, quietly and almost nervously.

"I was in a way," Merlin replied, "for a long time. I knew you did what you thought you had to…but it didn't change the fact that she was gone. Nothing would." He took a deep breath. "But, I was mostly mad at myself."

"Why?"

Merlin blinked furiously as he tried to steady himself. "It was my fault she was still in the city. I could have gotten her out so much quicker, but I just…" he sighed, "I didn't want to see her go…she made me…" He shook his head. "And then when I finally made plans to smuggle her out of the city, I took too long. If I'd only moved faster."

Arthur stared at him. "You would have helped her leave? But then you wouldn't have seen her again."

Merlin gave him a very pointed look and the king's mouth fell open in a very unregal manner as the implication hit him. "You were going to go with her? You would leave Camelot?"

"Leave us?" was unspoken, but both men heard it.

Merlin laughed, and the mirth, although mixed with heartache, cheered Arthur immensely. "Like you're one to talk – you were all set to abdicate and elope with Gwen because it wasn't safe for here." He arched a brow. "Become a farmer, huh? Make me do all the hard work?"

Arthur flushed and swiftly moved into their usual banter. "That was your job. Gwen told you that?"

"We're best friends – we tell each other everything…or at least mostly everything," he replied, grinning a little at Arthur's affronted expression. "Don't worry, she never told me that you snore, and I never told her about all those belts I had to enhan-"

"Shut up, Merlin."

Both men looked out across the water again, although the air was a little lighter this time.

"Merlin."

The light voice made both men's hearts stop for a moment, although for vastly different reasons, and they both looked down into the water. There, outlined in nearly transparent and fluctuating waves of water, was a beautiful dark-haired young woman.

"Freya," Merlin breathed reverently, leaning forward to get a closer look.

"Merlin," she smiled and seemed to move closer, "It's so good to see you."

Merlin's voice choked a little and he let the tears fall. "I've missed you, too." He blinked suddenly. "Is something wrong? Is Camelot in trouble?"

"No," she hastened to reassure him, smiling, "Camelot is fine. But I'm worried about you, Merlin." She reached up towards her love, causing the water to lap over his outstretched hand. "Your pain called out to me even through the Lake. What is it?"

Arthur cringed. Merlin smiled, although the effect was somewhat dampened by the grief and longing in his eyes. "I've just been missing you. It's hard when the roses bloom…I think of you."

Arthur regretted both the matchmaking Gwen had embarked on and the roses he had asked Merlin to put in her room earlier that day.

Freya smiled up at him almost cheekily and replied, "And what about strawberries?"

Merlin burst out into genuine laughter before playfully glaring at her. "Never going to let that go, are you? And strawberries were always your thing, Freya."

"Strawberries?"

Both warlock and lady of the lake turned to look at the king. Freya's eyes widened ever so slightly, before she bowed her head in respect. "Your highness."

Arthur's mouth opened and closed. It was clear that those two were made for each other – they were equally confusing. "How – there's no need to bow." He leaned forward. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you."

There might have been a flicker of pain in Freya's eyes, but it was hard to see in the glisten of moonlight across the water. "You did what you thought you needed to. I cannot judge you for that."

"How can you not be angry?"

"Oh, I was," Freya sighed, "at least for a while. Although if I had been killed before I met Merlin I probably wouldn't have been at all. It was terrifying," her voice shook and Merlin reached out to stroke her watery cheek comfortingly, "to hurt those people, to kill them and not be able to stop. Death was…freedom in a way. No cages, no shackles, no innocent people being hurt."

Merlin shuddered slightly, and Freya made another lap of water run over his hand. "But after meeting Merlin," she turned back to face Arthur, "I could find strength – and anger towards you when you took my love away from me."

Freya seemed to draw a steadying breath, and both men could almost feel the air passing by their faces. "But, I knew in the end that what you did saved more people than I can bear to think about. I just hated to leave Merlin – he made me feel loved, and I only hope I made him feel the same."

"You did," Merlin whispered, clearly struggling not to simply fall into the water. "You have no idea, Freya."

She smiled warmly at him, although tears could be seen glinting through the haze of water. "Merlin…" She looked at Arthur. "He is why I helped you all these times, Arthur Pendragon. I can forgive you for his sake, because fulfilling your destiny brings him peace. And that is all I want."

Arthur blinked a few times. Then cleared his throat. Then fell back on banter. "Merlin," he said, certainly not in a voice hoarse with emotion. "I think she's too good for you."

Merlin simply shook his head with resigned amusement, but Freya shot him a look that was strangely fiery for such gentle eyes and made him reel back despite himself. "I disagree. I often think he is far too good for you." She flushed and put both hands to her mouth. "Oh…"

Arthur laughed. "Well, at times I suppose I can agree with that." Merlin gave him a cheeky grin and Arthur rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Merlin."

Merlin smiled and leaned down closer to the water. "How long do you have?"

Freya's eyes grew serious. "I'm not sure. This is the first time I've pulled free on my own, I don't know when I'll have to return."

Merlin's eyes darted back to Arthur. "Er, Arthur?"

"What is it?"

"Would you mind…giving us some time alone?" Arthur just stared at him, and Merlin continued, "Oh come on, have I ever interrupted yours and Gwen's time?"

"Yes," Arthur said bluntly, "you have. Frequently." He grinned down at his friend as he got up, dusting the sand of the lake off of his pant legs. "But I guess I'll just have to show you by example what you're supposed to do." He gripped his friend's shoulder. "Will you be all right?"

Merlin smiled down at Freya. "Never better."

Arthur managed to not look back all the way up to the beaten path. Once he'd gotten there, he watched as carefully as he could to see what was happening. It was only when he heard a burst of pure, genuine laughter that he felt he could turn the horse and return to Camelot.

And the next morning Merlin, even though he had bags under his bloodshot eyes, looked happier than he had in a long time.

A/N: D'aww. Freya and Merlin get some time together - they make the best with what they can. And why do I write Arthur so oblivious? Because it's funny, probably. I have no shame. Ha!

This idea was inspired by wind of banners. Thanks! :)

Thanks for reading and please review! They make me happy!