Chapter 2

Because of Sam's erratic schedule, Yvette took Esperanza to all her practices. He was working two cases with Michael, and she thought Sam was bad, burning the candle at both ends, but Michael balanced an additional case with Jack. It was a wonder how he had any time for his family. Then she talked with Fi.

"Michael is just as bad as Sam, Yvette. He's gone all the time, and when he's here, the kids are asleep. They never see him anymore."

"I know what you mean. Sam is the same way."

"I swear, I'm just about ready to tie him into a chair and make him sit for a week. I understand he wants to provide for us, but this is ridiculous." She let out an enraged puff of air, releasing the pressure inside her chest. "Thank you, for listening. I couldn't very well let Maddie have it. She's his mom, you know?"

Yvette laughed. "I know what you mean. Now that you've vented, I hope you feel better."

"I do, but I still might let Michael have it with both barrels when, if, he comes home. But at least I'm downgrading from the 50 cal."

As she watched Esperanza's practice, Yvette couldn't help but chuckle as she recalled the conversation. Yet it was depressing as well.

"How did our lives get so crazy? I would give anything to make it stop, so we could go back to the way it used to be."

"I know, I've done everything I can to make cuts. Michael complained about the expensive clothes I was buying the kids, so I stopped doing that. And I made do with my own things, but there's only so much I can do, because I could have us in rags, and it still wouldn't be enough. It's not about the money for Michael. The work just drives him."

"I honesty don't think Sam would work this hard if we didn't need the money. I've reworked our budget, trying to squeeze what I can out of every penny. If only I could find a way to make everything work on less money. And if worse comes to worst, I can get a part time job. Samuel is in school now, so I could work while they're gone."

Fi said, "Yes, but what do you do with them in the summer?"

"I'd have to get Maddie to watch them. I know she wouldn't mind."

"Aye. Otherwise all your hard earned cash would be going to pay for daycare. It's a crazy cycle, 'vette."

Yvette let out a breath and rested her chin on her hand. She wasn't sure what to do. No matter what option she chose, someone or something was going to lose out. But something had to be done, because the rising tension in her household was too much to bear. Nobody seemed to be happy, and they were all running around pursuing things that they thought would satisfy them, but it wasn't working.

Sam was gone again that night, and he didn't even bother to call to tell her he wouldn't be coming home. Maybe he was tired of hearing the resistant tone in her voice as she tried to accept his need to work. The least he could have done was give her a goodnight call, but the phone was silent. When she tried calling him, she got the same answer. "You've reached Sam Axe. Leave a message." Tired of everything, she cried herself to sleep and dreamed of happier times.

Little did she know that her daughter heard her behind the closed door, and without knocking, Espie slipped into the room, climbed in to her father's side of the bed, and snuggled up against Yvette's back while she slept.

Maybe Daddy doesn't love her anymore, but I do.

He sat in a van listening to the bug they'd planted in their target's room. It was very late, and all he'd gotten so far included some bad reruns on the hotel television and the room service cart jittering as it entered the room. The guy sounded like he was sleeping, snoring loudly. It made Sam sleepy, but he fought the urge to lean his head on his hand and close his eyes for just as second. A second would turn into a minute, and a minute into an hour, and who knew what he would miss? There was a muffled knock on the hotel door. Sleepy snuffled and woke. Sam heard the sheets rustling and his footsteps as they crossed to the door. He sat up, hoping that this was the meet they were waiting for.

"Sully sent me." It was a woman's voice.

"How much?"

It soon became apparent to Sam that this wasn't a meet between their suspect and an arms dealer. She was a hooker, and the man was her client. Sam always hated having to listen to the sounds of two people in the throes of passion. It reminded him too much of what he was missing at home. He glanced at his watch. By now Eve would be sleeping and the kids would have been out hours ago. If he closed his eyes, he could imagine the scent of her, and the softness of her skin as he spooned up to her backside. He found himself imagining a whole lot more as he listened to what the bug picked up. Finally, he ripped the headphones off, because he couldn't stand it. His breath was fast and shallow, and it took a real effort to settle down again.

With more of the same a short time later, it was going to be a long night. At two, Michael came and relieved him.

"Anything exciting?"

"Only if you like listening to sex." He handed Michael the headphones. "Enjoy, Mikey!"

"See you tomorrow, Sam."

"Night, Mike."

The streets were nearly deserted as he drove home. It was always a little creepy driving this late at night. It made him wish even more that he didn't have to work like this. He missed his family so much, but they depended upon him to put a roof over their heads, keep them clothed and fed, and give them some of the nicer things in life. The only way to do that was to work. But this is getting to be too much! How can I make it stop?

Sam's cell phone rang. "Yeah, Mike."

"Sorry to do this to you, Sam. Our guy is meeting up with his dealer in a half hour at the lighthouse."

"I'm on my way, Mike. See you there." He did a u-turn and headed back toward the coast.

With that case wrapped up, it was one down and two more to go. The next one involved hanging out in Hallandale sipping on Cuban coffee and taking recon photographs. Now and then he'd get up, and he even bought some flowers from a street vendor. This would be a short day, after one more stop, and he might even make it home. That made him feel warm inside.

As he sat at the little cafe, his eyes fixed on a couple with two children, a boy and a girl. They were about Espie and Samuel's age, but their parents were far younger than Yvette and him. It made him think. He wasn't getting any younger, his kids were growing up without him, and if he wasn't careful, he'd turn around some day and find them leaving home for college or their own families. Then what? If he neglected them now, he would miss all those good times and lose the bond he had with them. No, he couldn't let that happen. Why didn't I see it before? I'm turning into my father! The old Samuel Axe Sr. left his wife and son for a career in the Navy, and it scarred Sam for life. He vowed he would never be like that; suddenly, he realized that he'd broken that promise. It's going to end, and soon. I'm not going to wait until they're my age to try to redeem the time, because I won't be as fortunate as my dad was. By then it'll be too late.

"Mom?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Can I get a bicycle for my birthday?"

Yvette stopped preparing supper and looked at her. "Why? What's wrong with the one you have?"

"It's always breaking, and Dad's never around to fix it. Grampa tries, but he says it's on its last legs. And Grampa said he'd help get one for me."

"Well, I guess we should look into getting you a new one." Yvette smiled at her, keeping secret the fact that she and Sam had already discussed getting her a new bike, despite finances being so tight. She was so proud of her daughter who would be turning twelve in a few weeks. Both the kids were growing up so fast. Her mind flashed to a promise Sam made, that he would be there for the party. It pained her that she had to wonder if he was as good as his word. Lord, what happened to our family? We're falling apart at the seams, and I don't know how to stop it!

"Mom, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Espie." She blinked away the tears and caressed her daughter's face. "Just thinking about how big you're getting. You were such a little girl when we got you, so isolated by the language barrier, and I'm sure you had to be scared, too."

"I was. But you and Daddy made me feel safe. Even when I couldn't understand you, I knew I was okay here, that I'd be well taken care of. My mom, she kind of loved me, but when I moved in here, I found out what real love was like." She sighed. "I miss Dad."

"I miss your dad too, honey."

Esperanza fell silent for a few moments. "I was thinking. When I get a new bike, I could ride it to the arena. It's not that far!"

"No. You'd be riding down some busy roads. I'd be afraid you would get hit."

"Aww, Mom! I'm just trying to help here! If you didn't have to drive me, you wouldn't have to spend that money on gas. You and Dad already spend too much on me with the skating."

Yvette turned and stared at her. "What brought all this on? That's a lot to think about for a child your age."

"Yeah, well, I have a friend at school whose parents are getting divorced because they fight all the time about money. You and Dad never fight because he's never around. I don't know which is worse."

Suddenly, Yvette couldn't hold in her emotions any longer. Her daughter's statement hit her in the gut, and she dropped into a kitchen chair, hiding behind her hands as she broke down. Esperanza stood rooted to the floor, eyes wide, feeling guilty for making her cry.

"I'm sorry, Mom." She got down on her knees before her.

She managed to find the air to speak. "It's not your fault."

Espie got up and wrapped her arms around her mother's shoulders. All the while, her mind worked, trying to come up with a way to bring their family back together. Her mind kept going back to her skating, and how it seemed to be causing so many of the problems. Before her dad started spending so much time working, she remembered overhearing them one night as they sat at the kitchen table working the budget.

"Do you realize that last month we spent almost two thousand dollars on Espie's skating?" Sam rustled a small pile of receipts. "New blades, another costume for the competition, extra ice time, eating out because we were pressed for time getting her to that extra ice time." He let out a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "We're gonna have to find somewhere else to cut if we intend to keep this up. Either that, or I work more. We've been getting a lot of cases lately, so it's not like there wouldn't be opportunity."

"Maybe we need to just cut down how much we spend on skating. She doesn't need all these new outfits, Sam! We can start buying bigger sizes, and I'll alter them to fit her now, and as she grows I can take them out."

"Her boots are going to need to be replaced again in a few months. She's got her eye on those nice ones in the catalog, but I think we'll have to talk her down to something less expensive." He groaned and ran a hand over his face. "The last thing I want to do is make her give it up! She's good, and she loves it. I don't want to take it away from her."

"Neither do I." Yvette sighed. "Okay, see if you can pick up some extra money doing an extra job here and there. We'll survive a month or two."

That was three months ago, and things were getting worse and worse. Espie was afraid that if something didn't change soon, her friend's parents wouldn't be the only ones splitting up. The solution was to find a way to make some money, lots of money so Dad wouldn't have to work so much. But she was just a kid. If she could use her skating talent...she came up with an idea.

"Mom, can I call Ms. Olga?"

"Why, honey?"

"I have something I need to talk to her about." She gave her a smile that hardly ever failed her when she wanted something.

"Alright. Supper will be ready in a little while."

"Okay. Thanks, Mom!" She ran for the stairs.

"No running in the house, young lady!" She let out a sigh with a small chuckle. If she had a dime for every time she or Sam had to tell her not to run in the house, their financial problems would be solved.

She heard a car door slam and looked out the back window over the sink. Her eyes threatened to pop out of their sockets when she saw Sam approaching the house. He came home! She finished stirring the skillet on the stove, wiped her hands, and met him at the back door.

"Hey, honey, I'm home." He smiled broadly at her as he came inside. In one hand he held a bouquet of flowers. "I got this for you. Sorry if they're a little wilted. I bought them from a street vendor in Hallandale this afternoon and I didn't have any water handy, so..."

She cut him off by grabbing his face in her hands and kissing him, her fierce emotions enhancing the press of her lips on his. Sam tossed the bouquet somewhere in the vicinity of the table, not caring that it landed on someone's empty plate. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, loving the feel of her body eagerly moving into his. She stirred up things he hadn't felt in awhile, and he had the sudden urge to take her upstairs.

The moment was dashed by a throat clearing. "Hi, Dad."

He broke away from Yvette and turned his attention to Esperanza. With a smile, Yvette caressed his cheek and turned back to finishing supper preparations.

"Hi, punkin. How was school today?"

"Okay, as usual." She moved into the room, took two steps, and met him in the middle. They embraced, and he kissed the top of her head.

"It's good to be home," he said softly. She nodded in agreement, and he felt that whatever wall was between them lately had a major crack in it, just because of those simple words.

"We weren't expecting you home tonight," Yvette said. "Sammy, will you set a place for your father?"

Samuel, who just entered the kitchen, nodded and went to the cupboard. He was still a little short and had to use a stool, but he got a plate and glass down. The rest was easy. "Hi, Dad."

"Hey, Sammy." He ruffled the boy's hair as he snuck past to put the things on the table, and it hit him how he'd slowly become a stranger to his family. When this all started, he had dreams of being there for everything, being the kind of dad who took an interest in his kids' interests and not only encouraged them, but he would be there to help when they needed it. Lately, however, he'd been very inaccessible. It gnawed at him at first, but work overwhelmed him and he pushed it to the back of his mind. Now he was reminded of it again, and feeling like an outsider in his own home left him cold and empty inside. He didn't like that sensation, not one bit.

That night, as they lay in bed with their bodies tangled together, Sam spoke softly. "I've really missed this, Eve. I miss you, the kids, and everything." He wrapped his arms tighter around her. "I can't keep doing this. Something's got to give, and I don't want it to be my wife and family."

"But what can we do?"

Hovering over her, he looked down into her eyes and smiled. "The kids are out of school next month. Let's take a trip and get away from this rat race for awhile. Then we can remind ourselves how good it is to be a family and figure out what's preventing us from being together, eliminate stuff that isn't worth our time." He kissed her lips briefly. "Working so much is not the answer. More money is not the answer. I just wish I knew what was."

"Let's not worry about it right now," Eve whispered. "Let's just enjoy tonight. Just love me, Sam. That's what I need right now."

"Me too." He kissed her passionately as his hands moved over her body.

Esperanza was still up, just finishing her homework. She had some extra math to do that night. Her conversation with Ms. Olga turned out to be quite productive. She agreed to let her work in the pro shop in exchange for store credit to pay for the things she needed. At minimum wage it wouldn't be much, but it would help her parents. Then they wouldn't have to strain the budget to keep her in her hobby.

That was another thing that needed to change. She had to get more serious about her skating. As she glanced at the gold medal glinting in the glow from her desk lamp, Espie pondered her future. She needed to not just win medals at the junior local competitions. She had to go regional, national...all the way to the Olympics. And then she could be just like Penny O'Loughlin, making millions of dollars doing commercials and modeling clothes and stuff. Then Daddy wouldn't have to work so hard paying for my stuff. I could buy him all the hawaiian shirts he wanted!

Esperanza went to bed that night with big dreams and an even bigger smile on her face. She had it all figured out. The hard part was making it happen.