Rember when its written in bold it means Nostalgia Critic is talking while reading the story. when its writtin in italic its the story and when its normal text its just the critic talking.

can't believe Mr. Mosby is making you guys do a one-million word essay on the Tipton's!" Shouts Carrie "What did you two do!"

"We had fun" replied Zack

"For once Zack isn't lying" Cody stated

"Huh. I better go down and have a nice little chat with him then" said Carrie

"A little chat" the fuck dose that mean?

As Carrie walks away her jean shorts and her tang top fall off leaving her in a bright blue bra and white panties.

"That was a sight I never thought i would see." said Zack and Cody simultaneously.

I think it just means…Zack made it up. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's what she's saying. You can take this sound…(a fart sound effect)…but through Zack's bullshit interpretation…(Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" plays)

(A photo of a human butt is shown with an arrow pointing to it and the caption "Next Mozart; "Mozfart"?)

And then we get horrific-ness. This next part actually is fucking…fucking creepy.

15 minutes later in Mr. Mosby's cabin

"OUCH! Not so hard Mr. Mosby!"

"I'm done now anyway." said Mr. Mosby "If I ever catch you or your little friends doing that again your next experience will be a lot harder and a lot longer."

"Okay. I'm going to go up to my room now" said London while she was walking away.

On the way London and Carrie meet

"Oh. Hi Carrie" said London cheerfully

"Ahh, Hi London. May I ask why you're naked?" asked Carrie curiously

"Oh I was having sex with Mr. Mosby after he caught me with Zack and Cody"

"They did what now!" shouted Carrie

Now that's a normal reaction.

"Calm down, I know your mad. So I'll pay you if you forget about it" Said London as she pulled out $1,000,000,000 from the purse that was hanging over her shoulder.

You know I may be wrong but isn't the guy usually the one paying for sex

"That'll work. Now this means a lot to me London." Says Carrie "but (something tells me I'm going to regret this Carrie says under her breath)

Oh yes you will lady

but you and who ever you want can have ... sex with Zack and Cody."

"Great! Well see you around Carrie!" Says London as she walks away

Oh, look, she made a deal with the mom. She paid for sex. As if this story was honestly trying to market itself to an older audience. Yeah, let's face it, story, you're made for rocks.

(A photo of a boulder is shown before returning to the story)