"I don't know what to do, honestly. I cannot confess to him. He would just hate me more, and I definitely do not want that to happen.." I think and take my head out of my hands. I stand up and start pacing back and forth.
"Hmm." I stop and the door to the dormitory opens, and Crabbe and Goyle step inside. They both glance at me, but don't say anything, knowing I am not in a good mood. I nod in their direction, then walk out of the dormitory and down to the cold common room.
The common room is empty, but you can hear people talking from their dormitories. I quickly leave the common room, and up to the Great Hall, where most of the fifth year students are seated at their tables. It's around lunch right now, so I have another class after this.
The Slytherin table is fairly empty, most of the people I do not know very well. I sigh and look over my shoulder, hoping to see Crabbe and Goyle walking into the Great Hall, but they are not there. Then I glance over at the Gryffindor, and see Potter sitting by Granger and Weasley, but otherwise alone.
"I wonder what he is thinking right now. Maybe he's thinking about me. Ha! In my dreams.." I think and trudge over to the Slytherin table and sit down a few spots away from everyone else. They are all silent, exchanging looks every once in a while, then looking back down at the food on their plate.
"Idiots," I think and smile to myself.
Crabbe and Goyle suddenly sit down next to me, and I jump. I didn't see them coming, wow.
"What class do we have next, Malfoy?" Crabbe asks. I pause for a second.
"I don't know," I respond and shrug.
"Transfiguration," Goyle says and looks at both Crabbe and I.
"Great," Crabbe says sarcastically. I smirk. I mean, Transfiguration is not the best class, but it could be so much worse. Like Care of Magical Creatures, which is terrible.
We just sit around, occasionally talking and making fun of some first years that come into the hall a little bit before we leave. All of the fifth years stand up and go towards the exit, so that is what Crabbe, Goyle and I do too.
We walk up to the doors that lead out of the hall and everyone pushes their way out, bumping into people and falling. Someone gets pushed into my back, and I turn around, about to yell at them, when I see Potter is the one who bumped into me. We just stare at each other for a few seconds, until Potter gets a weirded-out look on his face, and rushes towards Weasley. Weasley looks over at me, and Potter whispers something in his ear, which causes Weasley to get a look of shock on his face.
"They're not talking about me… are they?" I think as Crabbe, Goyle and I push our way out of the hall. "Probably not.." I think and sigh. Then Crabbe, Goyle and I get to the Transfiguration classroom, and I see that Potter has this class with me too.
"Well, great. Now I won't be able to get anything done.. Not that it matters. But still, I'll be distracted and dreamy the whole period, and people will start to get suspicious," I think and we sit down a few rows behind the Gryffindors. "I wish I could talk to someone about this… Explain my feelings and actions.. I wish I could talk to Potter. But like I said, I would get rejected and he would hate me. It's a loose-loose." I think. I wish I could just get rid of these putrid feelings, have them leave my head. Ugh.
Professor McGonagall walks into the room as the rest of the students sit down, Potter two rows in front of me. I find myself dazing off, thinking about Potter.
The whole lesson was a blur, like a weird dream that never happened and was unclear. But it did happen, and it sure was boring. I hope no one noticed me being all 'out of it' . Especially Potter. But, he is in front of me, and unless he looked behind him and directly at me, there is no way he could have seen me.
Later that evening, I'm heading towards the Slytherin common room after dinner alone. I wanted to leave Crabbe and Goyle so I had time to think by myself for a bit until they came down. I hear footsteps from down the hall, and think about turning around and just going the longer way, but figure it's just a stupid lost first year.
I continue down the hall, but then I see him. Potter is walking down the hall towards me. Oh, right.. He has detention for Umbridge tonight for back-sassing her. It was funny though, seeing Potter talk back to Umbridge. I hope it isn't too bad for him..
I just walk straight past Potter, and feel him looking at the back of my head. I glance back over my shoulder and see Potter staring at me. Then his face flushes, and he turns around and rushes away.
Maybe, just maybe, Potter is developing the tiniest bit of feelings for me too. What a funny thought, him and I together. Maybe one day. I hope.