Hi everyone, I know it's been a really long time and for those of you reading my other stories, I swear I am not doing this on purpose. I'm really sorry it's taking me so long to update but thing's have been so crazy for me these past few weeks. Anyways I wrote a whole chapter for this and I felt like it was …different from what I imagined so I scrapped it and re-wrote the whole thing so it took even more time.
But here it is and I hope you guys like it. Thanks for being so patient and for reviewing and reading, it means tons to me.
"Ok, it's confirmed. He's in the library," Mercedes says walking up to Kurt, "You are really following through with this, aren't you?"
"Yes," Kurt answers, "I have to. How do I look?"
Mercedes raises an eyebrow at him.
"What? Just because I don't like him doesn't mean I shouldn't look good while trying to seduce him," Kurt says arranging his bangs.
"Kurt, don't you think you're going a little too fast? Maybe you should like…befriend him first," Mercedes says.
"Oh God no. It's Karofsky, Mercedes. You really think he's looking for a friend? He's an ogre. Now, this will probably require a little slut-ification on my part but it will be worth it," Kurt says, mostly to himself.
"Well, good luck, hot stuff. I have somewhere I need to be," Mercedes says arranging her own her.
"And where exactly is that Miss Thang?" Kurt says giving her a look.
"I'm meeting up with Anthony from the hockey team," Mercedes answers with a devilish smile.
"Oh wow, tell me all about it…"
"Hey, are you ready? He's not gonna be there forever, it is the library after all," Azimio says suddenly showing up next to Kurt. Kurt and Mercedes turn to look at him as he speaks.
"Where the hell did you come from?" Mercedes asks.
"Gym," Azimio replies as if it should be obvious.
"I'm on my way now," Kurt says answering his question.
"Alright, listen I should probably warn you, Dave has a tendency to lose his temper and freak out when he doesn't know what to do," Azimio warns him.
"That's ok, I'm very familiar with his angry side," Kurt says.
"Ok, well I could go and hide somewhere if you want, just in case," Azimio offers.
Mercedes and Kurt stare at him in surprise.
"What?" Azimio asks angrily.
"Nothing," Kurt replies, "But I'd rather you weren't there."
"Fine, but don't mess it up," Azimio says
Kurt rolls his eyes, "You know the more you say that, the less effect it has."
They watch in silence as Kurt struts away towards the library.
Azimio takes a look around to make sure no one's watching. When he sees the coast is clear he grabs Mercedes' arm and pulls her into the janitor's closet. He shuts the door and turns on the light.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Mercedes says angrily.
"I just need to talk to you for a moment," Azimio says.
"About what?"
"About Kurt and Dave of course, what the hell else?"
"You best watch your tone," Mercedes warns.
"Listen, as a person close to Hummel, do you think he can do this?" Azimio asks.
"Look boy, I think the whole plan is bogus. Karofsky is never going to admit he's gay to anybody, maybe you but that's it. But if you're worried about Kurt being able to seduce him, don't be," Mercedes says.
Azimio looks like he's deep in thought.
"Well if that's all I'm out," Mercedes says making a move towards the door.
"Yeah, whatever," Azimio says, no longer really listening.
"Oh God," Mercedes says shaking the door handle.
"What?" Azimio asks snapping out of his haze.
"The door is jammed! Oh my god, help!" Mercedes yells, banging on the door.
Azimio rolls his eyes and gives her a gentle push, "Step aside, woman. Let a real man handle this."
He gives the door handle a shake, it doesn't budge. He crouches down to explore the mechanics of the situation but of course he doesn't really know what he's looking at. Mercedes watches him with a very irritated look on her face.
"Ah see? There's your problem, the uh, interior…latch is not adequately attached to the door handle so when you…"
"Oh shut up," Mercedes says fuming.
"Ok, calm down," Azimio says, "I'm sure someone will get us out in no time."
"The hell you pull me in here for anyways? You could have just asked me out there," Mercedes says.
"Look, no offense but I have a girl and a reputation to maintain," Azimio replies.
"Excuse you?"
"My honey would flip if she saw me talking to some girl, especially a Glee frea…person," Azimio finished.
"Oh please, you'd be so lucky," Mercedes snorts.
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"It means I would never go out with a guy like you," Mercedes says moving past him to mess with the door.
"I would never go out with a girl like you either," Azimio says more than a little bit offended.
"This cannot be happening, not today. God if you open this door right now I will give up tator tots for a week," she gives the door a tentative shake, "whyyy?"
"Will you calm down, it ain't like you're missing much, just lunch," Azimio says suddenly bored with the whole thing.
"For your information I have a lunch date," Mercedes says.
"More like had a lunch date," Azimio says.
Mercedes lets out a groan, "This is all your damn fault, dragging me in here like you never threw slushies in my face…making me miss my date with Anthony…."
"Yeah about that…wait, Anthony? The dickhead on the hockey team?" Azimio asks incredulously.
"He is not a dickhead. He is hot and sweet and sensitive…"
"And boring as hell," Azimio interrupts, "Between you and me, he might be gay as well."
"You know what? How about you mind your own damn business?" Mercedes snaps back.
"Hey, I'm just sayin. No need to get all bend out of shape. I'm sure you two would have had a lot of fun playing…scrabble and what not," Azimio continues.
Mercedes gives him a glare as she pulls out her phone, "I'll just call somebody."
"Don't bother, there's no signal in here," Azimio says.
"And you would know how?"
"Not my first time in here. The honeys seem to like the privacy," he replies.
Mercedes makes a disgusted face, "You mean the sluts."
Kurt gives a deep sigh before walking into the library slowly. He searches through the rows of books and computers before making his way to the back. On the back left corner of the library there's a small section with sofas and he figures if the brainless jock has actually dared to venture into the library then that's where he'll be. Sure enough there he is. He has his head thrown back and his eyes closed. His legs are crossed, his right ankle balancing on his left knee and his arms are resting on the back of the couch. His letterman jacket is draped across the coffee table in front of him. He's wearing a plain white t-shirt with long sleeves that are rolled up to his elbows. Kurt approaches the couch slowly.
"Oh God," he whispers to himself as he stops only inches away from the sleeping jock, "I can do this, I can do this, just think Lady Gaga…"
He looks down at Dave's face. It's relaxed and his usual frown is absent from his features. With his jacket off, he could almost pass for a completely different person.
"Ok," Kurt says nodding to himself as he walks slowly past Dave's sleeping body and seats next to him with nothing but half a foot of space between them. Dave turns out to be a light sleeper. The sudden weight on the couch manages to rouse him from his sleep. He brings one hand to his eyes and rubs them before opening them. It takes him a couple of seconds to realize Kurt is sitting next to him. When he finally notices him, he's more than a little startled. He scoots away, his eyes wide.
"What the hell are you doing here Hummel?" he asks, in almost a hiss.
Kurt ignores the threatening tone, "Well I was passing by and I saw you sitting here and I couldn't help myself," he says coyly.
Dave frowns, "Help yourself from what?"
Kurt blinks a couple of times, "Uh…from approaching you…"
Dave's frown deepens, "What the hell do you want Hummel?"
"Well , for starters how about coffee? And then some explanations," Kurt answers with a sweet and provocative smile.
Dave's eyes land on his lips and Kurt notices it. He read in a magazine that licking your lips and biting your bottom lip are sexy ways to attract attention to your mouth when flirting. Kurt tries to play with his bottom lip but feels that the only message he's sending is that he's hungry so he ends up running his tongue across it instead. Dave's pupils follow the gesture before returning to his eyes.
"How about a punch in the face?" Dave says as he makes a move to get up.
Kurt grabs his arm and is surprised to find a lot more muscle than expected. He is suddenly more afraid as he realizes that the jock could actually snap him like a twig if he wanted to.
"Buy me coffee and I'll let you do whatever you want," the words leave his mouth without him even realizing it. He knows it's risky but at this point all he needs is a date and then maybe Azimio will be stupid enough to give him the tickets in advance.
Dave looks at him, obviously surprised, but only for a moment. His expression is completely unreadable as he speaks.
"Are you hitting on me Hummel?"
Kurt swallows nervously, "Is that a problem?"
Dave looks past Kurt to see if anyone else is in there. The place is pretty empty and it gives him the courage he needs. His attention turns back to the small boy. His eyes roam over Kurt's face, as if studying it for something. He leans in, never taking his hazel eyes off of Kurt's blue ones. He moves all the way until their lips are but an inch apart. Kurt's eyes widen and he instinctively moves away before he can even register what he's doing.
"Uh…" Kurt begins a sorry attempt to fix his mistake.
Dave saw it coming but he still can't help but feel slight disappointment. He hides it behind a perfect smirk, "I thought so."
He backs away.
"I don't know what game your playing at Hummel, but give it up. It's not gonna work. And just for the record, I'm not queer," Dave says getting up and swiftly picking up his jacket, "But if I was, I can assure you, you wouldn't be my type. Nice try, though."
He walks away leaving Kurt sitting in a confused daze on the small blue couch, his eyes wide and his nostrils filled up with the subtle yet poignant smell of soap, cologne and something else he can't identify.
It takes a minute for a frown to finally form on Kurt's features.
"Not his type? Not his type? Where the hell does he get off having a type?" Kurt fumes as he storms out of the library.
Kurt gives a deep sigh before walking into his last class of the day. Because that's just the way fate works, the first thing he sees when he steps in is Karofsky trying to defy his homosexuality by flirting it up with flat-chested cheerio. Kurt poignantly ignores him and walks past the scene to a seat two rows behind them.
Where the hell is Mercedes? he thinks to himself as the teacher walks in and begins a boring, endless and not to mention faulty lecture about the factual reasons behind Napoleon's 'ambitious' conquests when in reality he was just a greedy, short, midget who had to make up for the fact that he had to stand on a stool to kiss Josephine or at least that's what Kurt's gathered from this whole thing.
It's 15 minutes into class, when Mercedes finally walks in, flustered and slightly out of breath. She utters an embarrassed apology to the teacher and rushes to sit next to Kurt.
"Where the hell have you been?" Kurt hisses.
"You do not want to know, trust me," she says opening her textbook.
Kurt gives her a questioning look which she chooses to ignore.
"So how did it go with you know who?" Mercedes asks quietly, motioning towards Karofsky who is currently whispering into the cheerio's ear.
"It didn't. I don't know what his problem is. I'm beginning to think that ape Azimio got it wrong and he's not gay at all," Kurt whispers, "He said I wasn't his type, can you believe the nerve of that oaf?"
Mercedes raises her eyebrows in surprise, "Say what?"
"Do you two want to share with the class?" the teacher calls put, turning the attention of the class to Mercedes and Kurt.
Karofsky looks back as well, his eyes making contact with Kurt's. He lets his lips turn into a smirk and then turns away leaving Kurt to deal with his suddenly flaming cheeks.
"No, sir," Mercedes replies.
"Then shut up. As I was saying Napoleon was not at all short, he was in fact average height..."
They allow a couple minutes to pass before resuming their conversation.
"So listen, I decided what we're gonna do. I refuse to further humiliate myself," Kurt says.
"So you're giving up the tickets?"
"Of course not, we're stealing them."
"You have lost your mind."
"I'm serious, we'll steal them and then Azimio will think he lost them and call off the whole thing and we'll get to see Lady Gaga. Fool-proof plan," Kurt says.
"And how exactly are we gonna steal them?"
"Well, either they're in his locker or at his house so we'll have to check both...they have football practice today, according to Finn. It's the perfect time to do this," Kurt says.
"I don't know about this Kurt," Mercedes says.
"Don't worry about it. I have a secret weapon," Kurt says mischievously.
"What?
"Puck, I gave him 20 bucks to skip practice and help us out with the...mechanics of the situation. Trust me, this is gonna work," Kurt says returning his focus to the board and completelyignoring the way his pupils seem to drift towards the jock sitting two rows in front of him.
Kurt and Mercedes keep watch as Puck attempts to pick the lock on the locker.
"So how exactly did you find out he had these tickets?" Puck asks as he works.
Kurt looks at Mercedes than back at Puck, "No questions, Puckerman."
"Oooh, getting feisty are we?" he says popping the lock and swinging the locker door open.
Kurt gives Puck and unusually strong shove that smacks him into the next locker and begins riffling through Azimio's locker.
"They're not here," Kurt says angrily, "You know what this means."
"I really think we shouldn't. I mean you know I'm with you Kurt but I just don't know about this," Mercedes says placing her hand on her hip.
"Mercedes don't even sweat it ok, we have Puck," Kurt says taking her by the shoulders.
Puck pushes himself off the locker with a smug smile on his face.
"This is what he does. He's a criminal. If he's good at one thing is breaking into places," Kurt reassures her.
Puck frowns and Mercedes nods, "Ok. You're right, I mean he's got to be good at something right?"
"Hey, I'm good at lots of…"
"Yes and he's good at this, right Puck?" Kurt says ignoring Puck's attempt to speak.
"Well, yeah. I mean I'm…"
"See, Mercedes? Nothing to worry about. Now let's go, people," Kurt says heading towards the parking lot, "We only have about an hour."
"Is this it?" Kurt asks as they pull up to a nice two-story brick house.
"Yep, this is where I lost my virginity to Keeger's mom," Puck answers looking up at the house.
"Oh Sweet Jesus, we're gonna get caught and go to jail," Mercedes lets out in a slight panic and Kurt rolls his eyes.
"Dammit Puck, could you just get serious already. Where the hell is Azimio's house?"
"Alright, alright," Puck says and drives two houses down, "Ok this is it."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure," Puck replies clearly offended.
"Ok, park around the corner," Kurt orders.
Kurt makes it inside. The room is a complete mess as was expected. For a moment he wonders if Karofsky is this messy but chides himself for it and turns back to the window. Mercedes looks up and sees Kurt's head popping out from the window, a few leaves sticking out from his now-messy hair.
"Coast is clear, come on up you guys," Kurt says waving down at them.
Mercedes gives a groan as she begins to climb the wooden ladder on the left side of the window.
"Right behind you, babe," Puck says as he too makes his way up.
Mercedes reaches the top and stops, "How the hell am I suppose to get to the window?"
"Stretch out your hand, I'll pull you in," Kurt says, extending his hand and taking hers.
"Yeah, and I'll push. Don't worry about a thing, I got you," Puck says and giggles…er…chuckles in a manly way as he brings up his hand to give Mercedes a little 'push.'
"Puckerman," Mercedes hisses coldly.
"Yes?"
"Get your hand off my ass."
"Ok," Puck says but makes no attempt to move his hand.
"Now!"
"Ok, ok, jeez. I was just trying to make sure you had this," Puck says removing his hand but not before letting it rest there.
Mercedes finally makes it inside with little help from Puck, who follows in, right after her like a pro.
"Ok, start looking," Kurt says and they begin to move, searching around the room in a frenzy. Well, all except for Puck throws himself on the bed and begins a thorough reading of a very interesting and informative magazine.
Kurt opens a drawer and begins to riffle through it mercilessly until his eyes land on the jock/criminal.
"What are you doing?" Kurt hisses.
"Don't worry 'bout what I'm doin,' you just keep lookin' for them tickets," Puck replies.
Kurt glares and shakes his head at him, "Useless, Puck, useless."
"Kurt? Help me with this drawer, it's stuck," Mercedes says struggling with the dresser. Kurt walks over and attempts to loosen it. They're in the process of opening it when Puck jumps up from the bed and runs to the window.
"Oh, oh," he utters and turns to look at the other two, "Kurt? Azimio just pulled up to the driveway."
Mercedes and Kurt snap their heads around and rush to the window.
"Oh look, Karofsky's with him," Puck says as if they're just taking a stroll in the park, "Well, that's my cue. I'm out bitches, peace."
Puck gives them a small wave and jumps out the window.
"Dammit! Puck!" Kurt hisses at him.
"That skinny bastard, I'm so kicking his ass tomorrow," Mercedes glares.
"Oh God, Mercedes I hear them…."
"What do we do?"
"Hide, hide," Kurt says throwing himself on the floor and sliding under the bed.
"I know your skinny ass don't think I'm gonna fit under there," Mercedes says with a hand on her hip.
Kurt looks around in a panicky look and slides out, "Ok, ok, uh closet?"
They open the door to the closet and gasp, "Oh god…"
"What is that smell?" Mercedes coughs out as they shut the door.
"Restroom c'mon," Kurt says and pulls her into the restroom. They shut the door just as the bedroom door opens. There's a small closet inside the restroom and Mercedes wastes no time in crawling into the bottom and closing the door as Kurt climbs in the tub and hides behind the curtain. Both stay still in their respective hiding places and listen intently to the sounds coming from the bedroom.
"That's all I'm saying man," Dave says loudly.
"Alright, alright, I hear ya," Azimio replies and Dave chuckles, "but seriously, man. I gotta talk to you bout' something."
"What's up?" Dave replies.
Kurt strains his ears to hear better.
"Alright dude, before I say anything. Is there anything you want to tell me? You know like about, I don't know…who you've been kissing or…not kissing?"
Kurt's eyes widen. He hears no reply from Dave and Azimio continues.
"Ok. I want you to know that I know," Azimio says.
There's a moment of silence.
"Know what?" Dave's voice sounds a little strained.
"About you kissing Hummel in the locker room," Azimio blurts.
"That…wasn't what it…"
"I saw it," Azimio continues.
There's a long silence and Kurt can't help but chew on his fingernails. It's a nasty habit he thought he'd gotten rid off.
'Look, Azimio…"
"No, man. Stop talking, we're friends right? You should've told me…"
"Told you what?"
"That you're gay," Azimio says.
"No, I'm not gay ok?"
"Yes, you are and it's ok…I mean the only reason I went along with bullying Hummel is because I thought you hated him but…I mean, look, I'm not about to get mushy here, but dude, if you're gay, I'm cool with that," Azimio says.
"I don't know what to say…"
"You don't have to say anything," Azimio replies, "I just want you to know that I got your back. I mean, now I know why you're always so angry…dude, you gotta let it out."
"You know I can't, the guys they…"
"Fuck the guys, this is bigger than football."
"I'll think about it but thanks man," Dave says.
"There's one more thing I wanted to ask you….Hummel, do you like him?" Azimio asks.
Kurt's eyes widen again and he listens intently.
There's a long silence.
"No," Dave finally answers.
Silence.
"No," he repeats, "Hummel's…something else…"
"Oh damn, I really thought you had a thing for him. Why did you kiss him then?"
"Jeez, I don't know…he was there, screaming, I didn't know what else to do…"
Kurt's face turns into a frown.
"So you really don't like him?" Azimio asks again
"Have you met him?"
"Well, I've seen him you know? It's not like a talk to him…on the phone or anything…" Azimio's replies nervously and Kurt rolls his eyes.
"Well, he's snotty and bitchy and….god! He just….he thinks he's….I can't even, you know what I mean?"
"Uh…"
"I mean, sure, if we're talking looks then why not? I mean he's got a nice ass you know?"
"Not really," Azimio replies quietly.
"And alright, yeah, he smells particularly good like…flowers or some shit…I swear I can almost smell him now…but that's not the point. The point is he's…you know what? Let's not talk about him anymore," Dave finishes.
"So you remember what he smells like but you don't like him?" Azimio questions unconvinced.
"Whatever man," Dave says, "So what about you?"
"What about me?"
"I've been hearing some stuff," Dave continues.
"Now look man, I'm ok with you and everything but I ain't gay so you're just gonna have to pine for me secret," Azimio says.
"No, jackass, I meant that glee chick," Dave says.
"What Glee chick?"
"Mercedes something…"
"Boy, there ain't nothing there," Azimio says.
"I heard they saw you two coming out of the janitors closet together…"
Kurt face turns into a frown again, what the hell? Mercedes and Azimio…
"Dude, no. You know I have a girlfriend besides she got way too much attitude for me, she's crazy. I ain't about to be all over that besides it's like you said, crazy overrrides a fine ass any day," Azimio says and Dave chuckles.
"Alright man, if you say so," Dave says, "Listen, can I take a shower in your bathroom?"
"Yeah, whatever man. I'm gonna go get us some food," Azimio says.
Kurt's eyes widen in panic, No, no, no….don't come in here!
He backs up into the shower wall as he hears the bathroom door open and close. He hears Dave's footsteps approach the tub. Kurt places a hand over his mouth as Dave's reaches in and turns on the ice cold water…
Hope you guys liked it :) I'll try to update soon.