A.N.- Here's Chapter 2: I promise the baby will turn up soon. I have a gender and almost a name and everything, so no worries. Thank you to everyone who's followed, reviewed, etc., I really appreciate it. I am still yet to purchase Star Trek: none of it's mine. (Excuse me whilst I disappear to cry in a corner.)
- J.M.H. -
The room was dim, lit only by Jim's table lamp. Their duty shifts both began in just over an hour and Jim had woken early, ravenous for the love of his partner. He woke Spock without any guilt, fuelled that morning by pure lust. The craving satisfied, he lay entangled and sweaty in the sheets of their bed.
'Jim.'
The rise and fall of Spock's chest was still more rapid than usual, his voice still a little breathy, and his body naked under the sheets.
'Yeah?' he panted.
'I wanted to say thank you,' he whispered, turning to meet his partner's gaze.
'For this? This was all you, you pointy-eared bastard,' Jim grinned. 'I shouldn't be surprised anymore, but hell you can move.' He followed down the line of the sheet covering his partner with his fingertips, and squeezed where he reached his crotch.
'It's a Vulcan thing,' Spock replied shyly, a dark blush quickly becoming tangible around his ears as he used the phrase he had so often heard Jim utter. 'But, that is not what I meant.'
'No? Then what?'
'Jim... I'm so grateful to you, for everything you've given me. You've taught me to follow emotion along with logic, and you've given me a place to call home. I don't feel torn anymore. I was lost, once, Jim. You gave me safety, and you gave me love, two things I did not know I needed.'
Jim furrowed his brow, touched but confused. 'Why are you telling me this now? What's wrong?'
'Nothing is wrong,' Spock promised him. 'It is just that the birth of our child should occur before the next week is out, and it will change my life in ways I never thought possible, and that's only because of you. Without you, I struggle to think what I would be doing now, how I would be living. I love you Jim. Lieutenant Uhura once told me that a loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge, and nothing matters to my people more than knowledge. Through loving you I have learnt so much that would otherwise have remained a mystery to me. I hold information that I'm sure my people never have, and I owe that to you. You chose to love a Vulcan, and with that you took me to places I was not supposed to go to, and showed me things I would never otherwise have seen. I owe you so much, Jim, and, although I am almost sure that I shouldn't, I still fear the prospect of you disappearing, and me becoming alone again. To live alone is painful Jim, and the fear of it comes because I do not think I can show you how much I really care.'
'Spock,' Jim said, and his cheeks were wet with tears that, until then, Spock hadn't noticed. 'Spock, love makes you vulnerable. It gives people power over you, because they can absolutely tear you apart if you dare to care about them so deeply.' Jim swallowed to save his voice from cracking anymore. 'Loving you the way I do, if I thought you didn't care about me then I would be in pieces. The kind of pain even the dumbest Vulcan couldn't miss. I know you care. You hear me? I know.'
'Thank you, Jim.'
'Quit thanking me.' Jim wiped what remained of his tears away from his face with the back of his hand and sniffed. 'We're going to have a baby soon. I wouldn't have asked for that if I didn't know you cared.'
Spock was silent, and Jim found his hand under the bed sheets. He stroked his fingers tenderly.
'Our shifts start in under an hour, Jim.' Spock tried to pull his hand away, refusing to give in to his partner's desire... again. 'I need to shower.'
Jim sighed theatrically. 'Well,' he said, 'I suppose that's OK... after all, I could do with a shower myself.' He grinned mischievously, and leapt from the bed.
Spock returned the gesture, and followed Jim where he had made a dash for the bathroom. Things were OK, he realised. Better than OK. And they weren't going to change any time soon, at least not for the worse. He was more than ninety-four percent sure of that.
Thanks for reading!