Awake.
Darkness… void of, not light. No, void of anything at all- but how was I aware of this? Now aware that there was in fact an I… I think, therefore I am. It seemed such a familiar phrase, thought out in such haste as well. Was it common knowledge? I am thinking, I am here… what is this- where is here?
This is not the same! This is wrong… b-but, what am I basing this on? An assumption, a memory? How?! All that is, is this blaringly quiet darkness. There is no memory, I have nothing- I am nothing… there is fear. I am suddenly awake, but not just wakened there is more; a new understanding of what it is to actually be awake. To be, at all- different from how I was before I was… Then how does it seem so familiar? By all rights how is it anything has the potential to feel familiar?
Crushing darkness, feeding fear- this is not right. It isn't supposed to be this! I wasn't here before! Where am I supposed… WHO am I?
"What the hell is this?!"
I can speak, audibly… I can move.
And then, there was a panicked flurry of hands, scratching the air madly. They were my hands- I have a body, I can feel it. Muscles contorting under skin, haphazardly constricting as the anxiety and fear feast upon me!
"I'm going to be devoured!"
The next moment was sharp, painful even. A back, or my back crackling to an upright position- I can almost feel where my extremities end… where they begin. The next second, I'm sitting up; sitting still, with eyes wide open. I can see, is my first realization looking at the barren white wall in front of me. There are fair, slender hands outstretched before me as well, perfectly still… to a nearly unnatural degree. At least I think so… are- are these my hands?
Trying to move them, I discovered they were indeed. Square palms slowly, with a sort of serene grace all their own moved towards my face. I gazed down, like one would at a heartfelt gift; slender and long fingers, moved perfectly well, and amazingly steady for the amount of anxiety my head was swimming with. The very thought of how I was feeling forced reality to come back to me.
Putting my hands down in my lap, all of my body took a relaxed and very still pose. My eyes however; darted about the tiny, bland room restlessly- like flies around a carcass. The room I absorbed was very small, and quite empty. In fact, the only things within it were me and the bed I was sitting on. The rest was white- white to a nauseating degree; the tiles along the floor were white and polished, the bricked walls themselves, were a chalky textured eggshell white.
No fixtures at all, aside from the lights strewn in line along the ceiling- there wasn't even a light switch. I dared an effort to speak then;
"What kind of place is this?"
Sliding my legs over the side of the bed caught my attention, no not my feet, just that there were no sheets on this bed at all. I had been laying here, on a bare mattress and pillow, in a paper smock. A hospital was my first thought, however as I came to a full standing position I realized that was a stupid assumption- a hospital room with a bed and nothing else?
A nagging voice in the back of my mind next- 'How did you know what people wear in hospitals?' Easily ignored.
The only thing that stuck out about this room was the door, a large black door opposite the bed just three steps away. The solid looking door held a menacing presence, although even as I stood in front of it, I failed to place why exactly that was. Obviously metal, I placed a careful palm onto it; the cold it let off was like being stabbed by lots of needles, and only proved to make me very aware of my bare feet on this icy tiled floor. In the center at eye level it had a feature; a marking in the shape of a clockwork gear. I felt as though I had never seen it before, despite my lacking memories.
There was a circle in its center, pierced by three arrows pointing inward… peculiar little scribble it was, still failed to help locate me. Am I alone in this building however? Surely not, I mean a sealed door with no knob- nothing in here with me. There is no way I have been here more than a few hours; of this I was sure. Feeling a bit lighter in realization that I must be receiving some sort of help here, I balled my pressed hand into a fist and began lightly rapping at the door with it.
Vocalizing as I did so;
"Hello? Is anyone there, I- I'm ready to come out? Nurse?"
No response.
"D-doctor?" I stuttered, confidence in my initial conclusion melting away now.
No response.
Waiting moments- moments that felt as hours for a response I took another guess at my situation to no one in particular;
"… Fellow inmates?"
This… this is not the sort of room one finds in a hospital, it all seemed so laughably obvious now. Oh God- this is some sort of prison… no it's a mental house. Maybe that's why I can't recall anything- I'm in the loony bin! I turned around and pressed my weight against the door, it was now the only thing holding me up. How many times have I gone through this all before? What am I in here for, that I can't even have blankets on my bed?!
Before my thoughts could reach any other horrid conclusions, I was startled out of my own head by the sound of a crackling radio announcement. As words followed the initial crackling noise I jumped straight up in shock- even letting out a small yelp.
"I want to remind everyone- once again…" The feminine voice sounded highly irritated. "that Dr. Bright does not have O5 clearance, and also to state the fact, that if he is asking for permission to get through ANY level of clearance; that is your first red flag. Dr. Bright is also no longer allowed near SCP- 914, in light of last weeks 'barbed-wire spider' incident. Haha… we were all very amused."
The sarcastic voice cut off there, accompanied by another loud crackling sound.
"Doctor Bright…" I whispered to myself.
So then- this is some kind of a psyche ward? The fear came back, it gnawed at me in the next few still moments, to the point I felt as though I would cry. What else was there to do about it? Before I had the time to man the fettle position, there was a voice on the other side of my door. A feminine voice to be sure, but as it grew fuller- closer I was plucked from my despair. Someone was coming for me!
Muffled by the distance, the woman's voice became clearer as I backed away from the door, dizzy with anticipation… or is this just more anxiety?
"What do you mean you think that you heard knocking- either you did or you didn't!"
"Well I was standing here all through my shift, then when Marv game to relive me we both-"
"Both of us heard it ma'am." They were two masculine voices, both sounding somewhat distressed, the female voice on the other hand maintained composure like a brick wall;
"Okay, so we've established you two buffoons did, in fact hear something, great! Because my schedule is packed tighter than double-d tits in an a-cup bra today, and I don't have time for 'maybe we heard somethin' kay?"
She seemed to be attempting to cover up some sort of drawl, in an effort to sound more intelligent I pondered. The next second, the metal door quickly hissed open, sliding into the wall. So nervous- all I could do was stand there like a statue as the owners of the voices stepped forth from it. They were still mid-sentence, not even looking at me though.
"Yes ma'am; but I am positive I heard knocking."
There was an armed guard, heavily armored in fact- bullet-proof vest and all looking back to a short, older looking woman with pretty silver hair, and a white lab coat. The woman caught a glimpse of me with her scrunchy little face and did a double-take at me. I stayed still, perfectly still- in fear or shock, I did not know. But judging by the look that came over her face next, maybe there was something to be afraid of.
Her jaw fell open, eyes opened wide and she dropped the card she had been holding. The yellow card landed on the floor with a small clatter; that was made much larger by the silence of the room. At that moment, the guard turned to face me as well; he seemed no happier, from what I could gather with the black visor over his eyes.
"…Is it-" the guard broke the silence, only to be interrupted by the, should I call her a doctor?
"Shut it." She said it fast, as if the guard had said something unpleasant or rude.
When I finally began to fidget, they both jumped alittle… how still had I been standing, jeez. The apparently trigger-happy 'guard' raised his firearm to me then. I let out an audible gasp, and recoiled in fear before the doctor reacted by slapping him in the face.
"Are you crazy? What is this- your first week on the job?!" She quietly screamed to his face.
"Apologies, ma'am." He cleared his throat and quickly regained his composure.
She then flashed me a quick smile and slowly bent down to pick up the plastic card she'd dropped.
"Don't be afraid." Her reassuring voice came out as she stood back up, and it actually did make me feel a bit more at ease.
Which is why before she could continue, I decided to ask the question that was burning a hole in my brain:
"Are you my doctor?!" I cried, although my voice was shaking my body remained steady, noticeably.
She opened her mouth, but no words came. The look on her face too; was she trying to think of something to say?
"What kind of hospital is this?" I demanded.
"You…" She trailed off.
"You, don't recall any…" but, she hesitated her line of questioning again.
A conflicted look clouded her features then, she slowly closed her mouth and then looked up as if, considering something. This was just flat out obnoxious now. The weight of this anxiety, washed over me like a torrent of water would- I couldn't even pretend to be outraged. All I can do, is stand here and wait on them… this is what it is to be helpless then?
The Doctor stood on her toes to whisper something to the guards ear, bending down to accommodate her height, he nodded a couple of times, and then left the room. An obviously fake smile plastered her face over, and she spoke;
"Yes- I am one of your doctors. You may call me Dr. Lovat if you wish. And I need to consult with another- eh, I will be back shortly." She was clearly flustered.
And then she began backing out of the door, keeping her eyes fixed on me. What was this? What kind of a hospital, why am I even, why is she so… I couldn't form a complete line of questioning in my head- there were too many and they all flew by a mile a minute. In fact, I didn't even open my mouth until she was out of the door, and even then, I only found myself interrupted;
"I'll return shortly, you just sit tight." She breathed, quickly.
And then, the door hissed to a close. Leaving me in the deafening silence, once again. I was pissed… at her, at them- at myself! I couldn't have even protested her leaving?! Good going… uhhh, that was when a worse thought entered my head; the realization of what I didn't remember. And that was anything- everything! Hands clenched to my head now;
"What's my name?"
Okay, so this story is my first ever shot at true psychological horror; as well as my first contribution to anything SCP related. Would really like some feedback- even though I only used this chapter to establish mood, do you guys feel it was too heavy handed or... did you like? Seriously keep those critiques coming; this is how I learn.