Paige and Hanna agreed to meet on Wednesdays for their study nights, after Paige's swim practice. It was a time that worked for Hanna, and that wasn't too horribly inconvenient for Paige, after she figured out a way to rearrange her whole schedule around it.
The first night, when Hanna showed up and started unpacking a stack of fashion magazines from her bag, Paige did her best to stifle a laugh. "Hey, what?" Hanna protested. "You're studying for school, but I'm studying for life!"
Hanna wasn't too distracting. Still, she was pretty distracting, though. She had the shortest attention span of anyone Paige had ever met, and she would just toss out whatever thought was going through her mind whenever things got too quiet for her liking. Paige learned to put up with it, realizing that Hanna just needed to feel connected. They weren't just together, studying; they were studying together. They may have been studying different things, but the whole point was that it was a shared experience .
Paige also learned that Hanna needed a lot of hugs. They didn't have to be particularly long or affectionate, but they had to be frequent. That kind of need was foreign to Paige, having grown up as Nick McCullers' daughter. Indeed, since the time that she and Emily broke up, Paige found herself subconsciously flinching whenever people got too touchy-feely, having lost a bit of her comfort-level with physical contact. Paige started to suspect that Hanna's constant attempts at connecting wasn't about her own needs, but that they were actually Hanna's way of trying to get Paige reconnected.
Whatever it was, Paige found herself looking forward to her Wednesday night study sessions with Hanna. They provided an oasis in the middle of her week, the way that swimming used to, in that brief period of time when she and Emily used to swim not just for training but for the fun of it. Back before things went bad, and Paige went back to training at night, to avoid Emily - and all of the attitude and awkwardness that being with Emily brought with it. Coach Fulton, of course, would have preferred it if her two best swimmers trained together, but she understood. The distraction would have outweighed the benefit.
Paige looked at the time on her phone and reluctantly concluded that it was time to to kick Hanna out. "I've got a big practice tomorrow," she explained, "before the meet against Ravenswood on Friday."
Hanna nodded pleasantly and began gathering her things together. Paige walked her downstairs and to the front door.
"Ravenswood's going to be crazy," Hanna remarked, leaning in the doorway.
"It always is." Not only was Ravenswood High their biggest rival, but, since the schools were so close, Ravenswood always sent a large contingent of fans to their meets, often drowning out Rosewood's fans in their home pool. "We're going to need a lot of support from the stands, if we're going to have a chance."
"Well, I'll be there to cheer you on." Hanna gave Paige's arm a rub.
Paige smiled. "It's okay, Hanna. I know you're going to be there for Emily."
"Emily?" Hanna scowled. "She's got her own cheering section, Paige. I'm going to be there for you."
Paige had been holding the door open as Hanna stood in the doorway, but she took her hand off of it and wrapped her arms around herself. "Seriously, Hanna, the last thing I want to do is to come between friends."
Hanna rolled her eyes. Paige wasn't the one who had come between her and Emily. But she didn't want to dwell on that. Paige had enough on her mind. "Just stop being such a martyr," she said, hoping she was using the word correctly, "and accept the fact that I'll be cheering for you on Friday, okay?"
Paige managed a smile and mouthed the word "Okay." Hanna cupped her left cheek and softly kissed her right cheek. "That's for luck." Paige smiled and dipped her head. Hanna stood looking at her for a second or two, as if she had something more to say, but, in the end, she tilted her head with a shy wave and turned to go. Paige's eyes followed her all the way out to her car. When Hanna was buckled in, she looked back at the door, happy that Paige was still standing there, and waved another good-bye. Paige lifted an arm off of her waist and waved back.
"Not going to lie," Paige said out loud to nobody. The thought remained unfinished, but it was something about how good it felt that there was going to be somebody there cheering for her.
Friday's meet was tightly contested, as everyone had expected it to be. Paige and Emily both won their individual races fairly comfortably, but Ravenswood was still hanging in when the final event, the 4x100 medley, came around. As the team lined up, Paige, the team's co-captain, and the anchor for the race, visited each of her teammates to get them a quick pep talk. She started with Emily, who was swimming the first leg, putting her hands on her shoulders and assuring her that she could do it.
Paige was in the zone. It didn't really feel like talking to her ex. It didn't feel like anything except what it was: Encouraging her teammate to swim a good race.
As the preceding race wound down and the swimmers were about to take their marks, Hanna yelled out a loud, "Let's go, Paige!" Three sets of eyes immediately focused on her: Paige and Emily's, from the pool area, and Emily's girlfriend's, from the stands. Hanna wasn't worried about anyone's eyes except Paige's. When Paige looked at her, she responded with a small wave that Paige returned on reflex. Paige's smile was a bonus. Hanna's attention-getting cheer had actually helped motivate her.
Emily knew why Hanna had cheered so loudly for Paige. It was a way of getting to her; of letting her know, in case there was any question, whose side Hanna was taking in the relationship wars. Emily glanced at her girlfriend, who blew her a kiss. That was all she needed. It didn't matter what her former best friend thought.
Emily got the team off to a fast start, easily beating the swimmer from Ravenswood. It seemed that Ravenswood was sandbagging a little, holding the stronger swimmer back from the first leg so that she could swim the second leg, to try to use the element of surprise to pull away in the race. By the time Paige jumped into the water for the anchor leg, she had some catching up to do. She was up to the task, bringing home the victory for Rosewood with just a fraction of a second to spare.
Amid the hugs and congratulations from the relay team and the rest of her teammates, Paige couldn't help looking up at Hanna in the stands. Hanna was on her feet, clapping with pride. When she saw Paige looking in her direction, she gave her the thumbs up and, putting her hands at the sides of her mouth as a megaphone, yelled a loud, "Yeah, Paige!"
'Hi, Paige," Hanna said softly, as usual, as Paige walked by.
As Paige approached the girls' table, she had been steeling herself not to smile. It was a losing battle, but she managed to hold it together, acknowledging Hanna's greeting by nodding her head, and only letting her smile show after she had safely passed the table by.
"I'll see you guys later," Hanna said, grabbing her handbag and walking quickly to catch up with Paige. Paige looked over at her with a smile when Hanna linked their arms. Paige pulled out her earbuds when she sat at what had become her usual table. Hanna sat next to her. "How's it going, Paigey?"
Paige rolled her eyes at the name. "I'm good. How are you?"
"Good…" Hanna's eyes lit up. Guess what! I'm going to the movies on Friday!"
"Really?" Paige was only half-pretending to be interested.
"Uh huh," Hanna assured her confidently. "You're taking me."
Paige chuckled. "I am?" Hanna nodded, assuring her that she was. "And what movie are we going to see?"
"'Everything, Everything.'"
"Oh, the uh… the one with the sick girl and the dude who kidnaps her?" Hanna rolled her eyes at Paige's reduction of what she considered to be a beautiful, tragic romance, but nodded. "No, no, nooooo," Paige chuckled, putting her hands up and shaking her head. "I don't think so."
"Well, I do! When was the last time you even went to the movies?"
"That's just it, Hanna – I don't really go to the movies. Especially not sappy, mushy rom-coms like that."
"Well, you do now!" Hanna announced confidently. "You're taking me."
Paige opened her mouth to protest, but Hanna's eyes shut her down. "Fine," she said, trying her hardest to make her voice reflect just how unwilling a party she was to this plan. "When am I picking you up?"
Paige did her best to hang in there with the movie, for Hanna's sake. After all, Hanna had really been there for her, after her break-up with Emily. Still, sitting through the movie was basically torture for Paige. She couldn't help ridiculing it and pointing out plot inconsistencies as they watched, much to Hanna's chagrin. The bruises on Paige's arms testified to how much her comments were irritating Hanna.
Hanna had produced a full-sized box of Kleenex from her purse – not one of the small, travel packs that are made specifically to fit into a purse or a pocket, but an actual cardboard box of tissues. How she had managed to get the whole thing into her purse was a mystery to Paige, who was also baffled by the fact that Hanna went through almost the entire box. By the end of the movie, she was clinging to Paige for support, her left hand tightened around Paige's right arm, while she dabbed at her eyes with her right hand.
Paige was confused. She didn't think of Hanna romantically, and she knew that Hanna didn't think of her that way, either. She wasn't confused about any signals Hanna might have been sending. She had seen Hanna wrapped around Emily in similar fashion, so she knew that it was just Hanna being Hanna, clingy and emotional. What had Paige confused was the feelings that she, herself, was starting to feel as Hanna leaned into her, her head on her shoulder, trying to hold it together. Paige definitely felt something, but she wasn't sure what. The only feeling that she could compare it to didn't make any sense, given that Hanna was just a friend, and a straight friend at that. Perhaps it was just her typical protectiveness. After all, Hanna had moved into her inner-circle, and Paige was profoundly protective of her friends.
But it certainly felt much deeper than that. In the end, Paige put it down to loneliness, and the fact that she missed the feeling of being with someone. She scrunched her lips together, summoning her willpower. What she was feeling was totally unfair to Hanna. She steeled herself in her seat, determined not to take advantage of the situation.
Despite what Paige expected, the ride home wasn't awkward at all. Hanna ran through the highlights of the film, as if Paige hadn't been there to see it with her, and Paige grunted and grumbled over having to relive the movie. Hanna couldn't help smiling at the way Paige was protesting, especially since Paige's face was telling a different story. As much as Paige hated sitting through the movie, she was enjoying Hanna's enthusiasm about it.
Paige turned towards Hanna with a serious look on her face when she pulled into her driveway. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?" she asked without cracking a smile. "I know this was an emotional night for you."
"Ha ha." Hanna spread her arms out wide, and Paige obligingly fell into them. "Thanks for coming with me," she said softly, adding, as the hug ended, "I know it wasn't your thing."
"No, it really wasn't," Paige said through a smile, "but thanks for getting me out of the house. It was fun not to have to think about anything for a couple of hours."
"Paige!" Hanna jogged to catch up with Paige in the parking lot. "Hey – headed home?" Before Paige had a chance to answer, Hanna had caught up and was walking next to her. "Do you think I could get a ride? I was supposed to ride home with Spencer, but she got stuck in some student council thing." Hanna shook her head at Spencer's priorities.
"Umm, sure, I guess," Paige said. "Only, I'm not going straight home. I have to stop and pick up a check from my Mom and get it to the bank before it closes."
"Okay," Hanna said eagerly. As she walked to Paige's car with her, she added, "I don't think I've ever met your mother."
"Nobody has," Paige chuckled. "Most people think she doesn't actually exist."
Paige pulled into a parking space at a strip mall, turned off the engine, and put her hands in her lap. Hanna took a quick look at the stores, wondering where Paige's mother worked.
Paige had a serious look and a serious tone when she spoke. "Just… fair warning: My Mom may be a little…" She paused, trying to come up with a polite-sounding adjective. Rude? Hostile? Obnoxious?
"A little?" Hanna prodded.
Paige sighed. "Look, when my Mom sees you with me, she's going to assume that we're together." Hanna smiled deviously, as Paige quickly added, "And I swear I didn't tell her that, she just assumes that any woman I hang out with is someone I've got a thing for."
The thought that Paige would've told her mother that they were together hadn't entered Hanna's mind, but she didn't dwell on that. "So, she's going to resent me for trying to replace Emily?"
"No, she's going to resent you for not having a penis." The annoyance in Paige's tone was for her mother, not for Hanna.
"But I thought you and your parents worked all that shit out?"
"Yeah. We did. Sort of. I mean, she loves me, but… Well, let's just say, she can be pretty hard on any girl I bring home."
Hanna grabbed Paige's hand and leaned in so close that her lips were almost touching Paige's ear. "We should mess with her! Let's pretend we're dating," she cooed, playing with Paige's hand.
Paige laughed at the thought. "Well, as fun as that sounds," she said sarcastically, "let's not. Believe me, it's hard enough dealing with her giving her any more ammunition." Paige freed her hand from Hanna's grip and climbed out of the car. Hanna bounced out of the other side, smoothing her top back into place over her hips. Paige tilted her head towards a catering establishment, and they headed towards it. Growing up in Rosewood, Hanna had seen the shop, "Grandma Becky's Perfect Platters," all the time, but she had never been inside.
Hanna was enthralled by the smell as soon as Paige opened the door. "Mmmm!" She couldn't help squeezing Paige's arm in delight at the scent. "Your mom's a caterer?"
"Yeah. The owner, actually. She worked in the dining halls in college, and – long story short, my Dad bought this business for her after she got her MBA."
"Oh. So, your mom's not 'Grandma Becky'?"
"No," Paige asserted, "and please don't say the word 'Grandma' too loud in here. I don't want to have the 'What about grandkids?' fight over my 'life choices' again!" Paige scoffed.
There were stacks and stacks desserts looking as if they were about to be boxed up and loaded for delivery, but Hanna didn't see anyone working in the shop. After a bit, someone came from the back, boxed up a pair of cakes without so much as acknowledging Paige or Hanna, and took the boxes out through the door behind the counter. Hanna thought the woman looked a little young to be Paige's mother. It seemed odd that the woman, whoever she was, hadn't even acknowledged them.
"I texted my Mom," Paige explained. "She should be out any minute."
Hanna nodded and started to wander around the shop, her hands clasped behind her back as looked at all of the delicacies. Paige followed behind her warily, panicking when Hanna got too up close and personal with a red velvet cake.
"Don't touch it!" Paige whispered urgently, smacking Hanna's hand away. Hanna slowly reached under Paige's hand, playfully making another couple of attempts to swipe a sample of the frosting. "Hanna!"
"I'm only kidding, Paige!" Hanna rolled her eyes. "Jeez, do you really think I'd stick my finger in a work of art like that?"
"Oh..." Paige was able to breathe again. She was still learning how to handle Hanna's sense of humor. "Okay," she said, relaxing just enough for Hanna to seize the opportunity to reach around her and swipe a lick of frosting. Paige gasped in shock. Hanna gasped, too.
"Oh, shit!" she whispered, when she saw that, by moving so fast as she tried to catch Paige off guard, she ended up swiping a bit more than she had intended to. She made a half-hearted effort to smooth the top of the cake back into something presentable, cringing comedically as she did. Paige just shook her head.
"Admit it," Hanna teased, offering Paige a taste of the residue of the frosting that was left on her finger, "you have fun with me!"
Paige declined the offer of frosting, but there was no denying the truth of what Hanna had said. Not with the big, toothy grin that was, somehow, forming on Paige's face. She was having fun; something that she wasn't used to anymore. Certainly not since the break-up.
Suddenly, they heard the sound of someone judgmentally clearing her throat behind them. Paige stood up stiff as a board. Hanna quickly hid her finger, which had still been up near Paige's lips, behind her back. They hadn't been doing anything that they needed to hide from Paige's mother, but they were certainly acting as if they had.
"Hello, Mrs. McCullers." Hanna discreetly wiped the frosting off of her finger onto the back of her jeans before she extended her hand to Paige's mother, showcasing her best manners. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
Paige's mother scrunched her nose to move her glasses in place so she could look Hanna up and down. She turned to glare at Paige, who nervously cleared her throat. "Um, Mom, this is Hanna."
Paige's mother raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Oh," she said dismissively, once the name registered. "The study buddy." It took all that was in Hanna not to burst out laughing.
Mrs. McCullers hadn't made air quotes with her fingers, but Hanna could hear them in her tone. Part of her wanted to cozy up to Paige, just to mess with her mother. If it had only been about Mrs. McCullers, she would have, but Paige had already made it clear where she stood on the subject. Hanna wasn't going to stir up any trouble for her.
"Yes," Paige began. "She's one of…"
"Simone!" Paige's mother yelled in the direction of the back room, "Grab that check from my desk! The one for my daughter."
Paige snuck Hanna a sad, apologetic smile. Simone emerged from the back room with an envelope which she handed to Paige's mother, who handed it to Paige. Before Paige could say thank you, her mother asked, "You're okay on your own for dinner tonight?" and turned back to the storeroom, not bothering to wait for an answer. Paige tried to laugh it off. Hanna rubbed her back sympathetically.
"Why don't we go get a burger after the bank?" Hanna offered as they buckled themselves in and Paige started the car.
Paige smiled knowingly. She knew that Hanna was trying to make her feel better after the coldness of the encounter with her mother, and she appreciated it, but it wasn't necessary. "You don't have to come to the bank with me," Paige said. "I have time to drop you off first."
"I'll go with you," Hanna volunteered cheerfully. "My Mom's out tonight, too, so I was going to get a burger anyway."
"Okay," Paige said with a pleasant shrug.
When they got to their booth at the Shake Shack, Hanna sat on the same side as Paige, instead of across from her. Paige thought it a little unusual, but she didn't mind. At least, with Hanna next to her, she didn't have to worry about maintaining eye contact and pretending to be interested when Hanna started to go on and on, as she invariably did.
Paige soon discovered the reason for Hanna's choice of seats. She kept reaching over to help herself to Paige's fries, even though she had fries of her own. At first, she did it playfully; pretending to sneak them without Paige noticing, but, as they started talking, Hanna reached for fries from her bag just as often as she reached for fries from Paige's. It seemed to Paige that this was all part of Hanna's need for communal activities; that they weren't truly sharing a meal together unless they were literally sharing. It fit in with the pattern she had seen in Hanna in the time that they had been friends. She was all about doing things together.
Their conversation was unremarkable until the meal was over, at which point Hanna wrapped her arms around Paige's arm and sighed, "It sucks, being single, doesn't it?" Before Paige could say that Hanna didn't need to worry about her, because she was doing all right (which wasn't a total lie), Hanna continued. "You know the worst part?"
Paige realized that this wasn't about her being alone, but about Hanna. She gave her hand a comforting squeeze.
"The worst part is eating alone," Hanna said, in answer to her own question. "Being alone. No one to talk to or listen to." Hanna put her head on Paige's shoulder. "I don't think I realized how much I missed that until tonight."
It took Paige a moment to figure out what Hanna was talking about. She knew, of course, that Hanna didn't like to be alone, but she almost never was. After all, she had lunch with Spencer and Aria every day, and, on their study nights, she often talked the things she and Mona did together. But, Paige realized, Hanna was talking about something different: Spencer had Toby, and Aria had Mr. Fitz. Even Mona, from what Paige gathered, had something going on with Mike Montgomery. Paige and Hanna were the only single ones.
Paige tilted her head, letting it rest on top of Hanna's for a moment. She puckered her lips and gave a kiss to the air in front of them in solidarity. "We single gals have to stick together," she announced.
Hanna nodded against Paige's shoulder, and they enjoyed their friendship moment. After a few seconds, Hanna sat up and sighed, "Well, I guess you've got some laps to swim or something tonight."
"Or something," Paige echoed. She really didn't want to leave, but she knew that Hanna was right.
Hanna put her hand on top of Paige's and smiled a thank-you before she got out of Paige's car. Paige followed her with her eyes as she got out of the car and headed to her front door. When she turned around on the sidewalk for a wave good-bye, Paige rolled down her window. Hanna slowly walked back to the car, so that she could hear what Paige had to say.
"Seriously, Hanna," Paige said softly, "whenever you want some company, just give me a shout, okay?"
Hanna smiled, nodding her head, and leaned through the window to give Paige a hug. "You, too, okay?" Paige nodded and smiled.
Hanna gave a final wave as she opened the door to her dark house. Paige put the car in gear and headed back to Rosewood High, for her night training.
A/N - You've all been so very kind to this story. Thanks so much. I'm a bit out of my area with Panna, and your encouraging words really help.
I just wanted to mention that the business with Hanna tasting the cake was based on a scene at an art exhibit in the movie, "ToY," the movie that inspired me to write this fic. Credit where credit is due, you know... :)
One more note (for you youngsters out there...): The title for this fic is based on the titles of two "Queen" albums from the 1970s, "A Night at the Opera" and "A Day at the Races," which, in turn, were named after two Marx Brothers movies from the 1930s...
Thanks for reading! :)
