AN:- Back again. I've got quite a bit more of this written, but I'm staggering updates just in case I have to stop writing for any reason

Chapter Two: Diagon Alley

"Lily!" It was a shout that could be heard halfway across Diagon Alley, and more than a few heads turned to the source of the noise. "Lily Lily Lily Lily Lily!"

Sally thudded into Lily hard enough to knock her backwards into a wall, squeezing her tightly round the middle, "Lily!"

"Hello, urk! Sally!" Lily tried to pry herself loose but Sally was stuck tight around her middle.

There was a sound of footsteps nearby and someone's amused voice reached them, "it's nice to see you."

Lily looked up from the golden blonde mane that was pressing against her neck and smiled as she saw Lisa smiling at them. "Can you detach her?"

"Sorry, I was stuck for twenty minutes when she first saw me."

Sally backed away and stuck her tongue out at Lisa, "it was not twenty minutes."

"Alright, twenty-one," Lisa and Lily hugged before Lisa turned to Lily's parents, who had been watching the goings on with amused smiles, "it's nice to see you again Mr and Mrs Moon." She said, holding out her hand.

Selene and Vincent shook her hand and smiled to the girls, "I suppose your parents are around somewhere?"

"I think they're in the Leaky Cauldron by now," Lisa said.

"Well we shall join them for a drink," Selene linked arms with her husband; "you girls have fun, and be careful."

"We will." Lily waved her parents off, then turned to her friends, "right, where first?"

Where first was Gringotts, where Lily and Lisa got out enough money to pay for all of their books, and then the girls made their way to Slug and Jiggers, where they spent the briefest amount of time possible buying their potions ingredients. It was a relief to get back out into the open air, and they hurried along to Madame Malkin's to get Sally a new cloak. While they were there they met Hannah Abbot, one of the girls in Sally's house, and the two of them had a spirited talk about whether the curtains on their beds would have been changed. As far as Lisa and Lily could figure out, the girls of Hufflepuff thought their current curtains were ugly, and had asked to have them changed for their second year.

"I can't believe you care that much about them," Lily said as they went next door to Amanuensis Quills.

"Well aren't there things you want to change about your dorm?" Sally asked.

"Given that my dorm is a slimy pit under the lake that goes pitch black every night and it's filled with people I don't like?"

"Sorry, I forgot."

"Don't worry about it."

In Amaneunsis' they each bought a set of new quills and ink to go with it, and after tearing Lisa away from the specialist quills Sally took them over to Florean Fortesque's. "We deserve a little break," she said, buying sundaes for the three of them.

"We've only been to three shops." Lisa pointed out, not exactly complaining.

"Yes, but have you seen the queue outside Flourish and Blotts?" Sally took an extra-large spoonful, "we need to prepare ourselves." She chomped down on the spoon and almost immediately grabbed her head, "Ah! Brain freeze!"

As the Hufflepuff girl moaned in agony the other two smiled at each other and got started on their own ice-creams.

"So was your summer a constant round of visits to relatives you don't like?" Lisa asked.

"Not so much actually. My mother has a new book coming out and my father has been working pretty hard as well."

"Which book is coming out?" Once she had found out that Lily's mother was a writer she had insisted on reading everything that she had ever written, including the very embarrassing first novel that had bought recognition to the Moons.

"Alec Thorne."

"And when's the next Bite coming out?"

Lily laughed out loud at that, "I think you must be the only person I know who actually likes those books."

Bite had been Selene's big hit, a truly atrocious tale about a young witch falling in love with a werewolf, who was too noble to be with her because if he lost control even for a moment she would become like him. Her mother was still obliged to turn out a new novel about the pair every few years, even though writing them made her cringe.

"There's just something about them," Lisa said defensively, "I can't help but like them."

"The new one is due next year, after she's put out the Alec Thorne and finished her contributions for this textbook."

"Oh, my mum's been drafted to help on that one."

Sally had gotten her sore head under control, "what's it about?"

"Defensive magic, easy to make healing potions for people without access to hospitals," Lily ticked off on her fingers, "and a brief history of dark wizards in the twentieth century. Everything a young auror could need."

"Wow, it must be so weird that both your mums are working on the same book."

"You do know they don't actually need to see each other while they're working right?" Lisa asked, "mostly my mum just writes it in the evenings when she gets off work."

"Yeah, but I like to imagine they all have to meet in secret and have like, secret handshakes so that no dark wizards can infiltrate their meetings and learn their secrets."

Lily and Lisa exchanged a look, wondering which of them would have to ask the inevitable question. Eventually Lily sighed and went for it, "huh?"

"Well Quirrel last year was evil, and he tried to kill Harry Potter, so I did some reading into dark wizards over the holiday, and that Voldemort one…" she trailed off as Lily and Lisa both flinched, accidentally knocking the table, "what?"

"We don't say that name." Lisa said delicately.

"What, Voldemort?"

They flinched again.

"Yeah, that one."

"Why not?"

"Because we don't really want to remember what happened back then."

"But none of us were even alive back then," Sally said, frowning deeply.

"Wizards in general don't want to remember."

"Oh," she seemed to accept the explanation and went on anyway, "so I was reading this book that said that some of His supporters were still out there, or at least that some people though they were, so how do we know they aren't right here among us? They could have all sorts of secret meetings and we'd never even know about it."

Lily and Lisa stared at her, "you know," Lily said eventually, "sometimes I would like to live in your head, just for an hour, and see all the wonderful things you see."

As they made their way to Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipment they were unfortunate enough to bump into Draco Malfoy, who was being led out of Knockturn Alley by his father. He sneered when he saw Lily, "still slumming with the muggles?" He asked her.

"Now now Draco," Lucius' voice had always been unpleasant, but Lily had forgotten quite how oily it could sound. The second he spoke she felt like she needed a shower. "Some people have chosen not to embrace the gifts their heritage could bring them, and we shouldn't jeer. It demeans you when you insult those who are beneath you after all."

Lisa and Sally both looked very much like they were about to say something, but Lily just bowed her head to Malfoy and dragged her two friends out of sight up the road.

"Why did you stop us?" Lisa asked when Lily finally let go.

"What good would it do?" She replied, "he's been making fun of my family for as long as I can remember, there's no point in trying to change it."

Sally was still looking back towards Knockturn Alley, her face puzzled, "why would he do something like that?" She asked, "he doesn't even know us, and he was still being mean."

"Because he's a mean person, now can we please keep shopping?"

They had a fun hour looking through the various curios on sale in Wiseacre's, but none of them could quite shake the uneasy feeling Lucius had given them, and they were quiet as they walked back through the alley towards Flourish and Blotts.

"The queue's got even bigger!" Sally said when they arrived, "what's going on?"

Lisa, being slightly taller than her friends, could just about look past a gaggle of middle aged witches to see the sign, "Gilderoy Lockhart in store today," she read quickly, before it was obscured again by a wild handbag. "We're actually going to meet him?" She said incredulously, "he's written the entire book list."

"Oh goody," Lily didn't even care that she sounded sarcastic.

"What's wrong with him?" Sally asked.

"He's under the same publisher as my mother," Lily explained, "she has… issues with him."

"My mum as well," Lisa said, "she doesn't like his books at all."

"What's wrong with them?"

"Well," the crowd moved and they were standing in front of a man-sized picture of a man's head, presumably Gilderoy Lockhart's. "My mum says that some of the things in his books don't add up. Like in Wanderings with Werewolves he claims that he managed to cure a man of lycanthropy, but that should be impossible. She even got to ask him about it at a Defensive Magic convention, before he got really famous and only did book signings. She said his explanations left a lot to be desired."

"His publisher wouldn't publish lies though would they?" Sally asked, staring up into the looming smile.

"Well, maybe not lies, but exaggerations." They shuffled along a little bit more, and a big stack of books came into view. All of them bore another picture of his head and the title Magical Me.

"Uhm, why has he written an autobiography?" Sally asked, "aren't all of his books kinda like autobiographies?"

Lisa snatched up a copy and read from the blurb, "apparently this one tells the 'inspiring true story of a rise from rags to riches of the most famous wizard of our time, and how his early experiences at Hogwarts and abroad helped shape him into the foremost expert on vanquishing dark magic in the modern age'." She snorted and dropped the book back onto the pile, "I wonder if a single word of that is true."

"We're almost inside now," Lily said quietly, "let's just get this over with quickly."

Looking ahead she could see the crowd of witches growing more excited, standing on tiptoe to get a glimpse of someone at the front of the line, presumably Lockhart himself. She had to admit that she was curious to actually see him in person. Her mother had talked about him a lot, but he didn't do many public appearances, so she had never had a chance to see him in person.

There was much pushing and they finally managed to get inside the doors. Abandoning the queue Lily jumped up onto the staircase so she could get a good look as Gilderoy Lockhart strutted onto the stage.

Her first impression was that she was looking at a peacock that walked like a man. His robes were a forget-me-not blue and his hat was sitting lopsided on his perfectly coiffed hair. His smile showed far too many teeth to look comfortable and his quill was truly impressive, at least as long as his forearm. She felt her eyebrow rise of its own accord, and realised immediately why her mother didn't like the man at all.

She watched closely as he looked up and flashed a dazzling smile at the front row of witches, who gasped and waved at him. Even from her distant viewpoint she thought his chin looked like it was in danger of disappearing into his neck, but no one else seemed to care. The step next to her creaked and a bright orb of gold appeared next to her, "is that him?" Sally asked.

"Well either that or those witches are going to be disappointed."

"He looks quite nice doesn't he?" Sally asked, looking to her friend for confirmation.

"You really think so?" Lily frowned, "I mean, sure he's smiling and cheerful but he looks a bit…" she searched for an appropriate word, "fake?"

"I think his hair looks kind of like mine."

"Yes, but you're a girl."

"The other women seem to like him."

Lily chuckled, "yes, but they're all old."

"Should we get our books?"

"I suppose so; it's not really fair leaving Lisa in line on her own."

They dropped back down into the melee and got hold of three huge stacks of books, somehow managing to navigate their way over to Lisa, who took her own pile from them and nodded to the front, "looks like someone else is here as well."

They looked over to see Lockhart grabbing someone from the crowd and pulling him onto stage. Lily recognised the mop of black hair in an instant. Harry Potter stood awkwardly next to Gilderoy as the photographer snapped half a dozen photos, and then Lockhart's smile somehow managed to widen. While Lily wondered quite how she could see someone's wisdom teeth from twenty feet away he started talking.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" His voice carried all the way to the back of the shop. "What an extraordinary moment this is!"

"Does he have to shout everything?" Lisa deadpanned next to her, sending Lily into a mostly silent fit of giggles.

"The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement I've been sitting on for some time."

"Bet that got sore after a while." Lily muttered, making Lisa snort into the cover of Year with a Yeti.

"When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography – which I shall be happy to present him now, free of charge." He paused, waiting for the crowd to applaud, which they dutifully did, "he had no idea." Lockhart shook harry hard enough that the boy's glasses nearly fell off. Lily wondered just how annoying it must be for Potter to have them sitting right on the tip of his nose. She knew from experience it was like having an itch you were completely unable to scratch.

"That he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, Magical Me." Another pause, another burst of clapping. Lily had to concede that he was a perfect showman, if nothing else. He knew exactly what to say and when to say it. "He and his schoolmates will, in fact, be getting the real magical me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen." Lisa and Lily got it a second before everyone else, and exchanged a horrified look as he prattled on, "this September, I will be taking up the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"

The crowd went wild with applause, the camera flashing and clicking while nearby a short woman with bright green glasses scribbled furiously in a notebook. He finally let Harry go, and the boy hurried off, looking thoroughly embarrassed Lockhart carried on bowing to the crowd, flashing his dazzling smile to everyone he could see. Eventually he sat back down again and the line started to move again.

"Are we really going to get our books autographed by the man himself?" Lisa asked as they shuffled along.

"I think we pay for them and drop out of the line before we reach the man himself." Lily suggested.

"Good plan."

The crowd shuffled forwards another two steps, the shop owner flitting about from customer to customer making sure they were fully loaded with everything Lockhart had ever written. The three girls were starting to struggle a little under the weight of their books, and it wasn't helped when someone shoved into them from behind.

"Hey!" Lily said, trying to turn around without losing control of her tower of books, "watch out!"

Whoever it was shoved again, forcing Lily out of the queue entirely. On the downside, this meant she found herself with the corner of a table jabbing into her stomach very uncomfortably. On the upside she had a perfect view as Lucius Malfoy was slammed into a bookcase by a balding red haired man. A huge smile split her face as the red headed man proceeded to thump Mr Malfoy in the face as hard as he could. A stray copy of the Encyclopaedia of Toadstools toppled from its shelf and caught Malfoy square in the eye.

Sadly, a huge figure had appeared behind them, saying in a loud and instantly recognisable voice, "Break it up there gents, break it up."

Hagrid seized both men by the collars and hauled the apart, holding them a good foot off the ground. Draco was standing nearby, and Lily was pleased to see that he looked absolutely stunned that his father was in such a state. She wanted to stay and watch what happened next, but Lisa and Sally had managed to make it round a corner, and she quickly slid back into the line next to them.

"What was that about?" Lisa asked.

"Someone was beating up Lucius Malfoy," Lily said, aware that she was still smiling broadly. "An encyclopaedia hit him in the eye."

"Good," said Lisa firmly, "he's a slimy git, just like his son."

"Where's the counter anyway?"

But they were too late, and suddenly the crowd shifted and they were standing in front of Lockhart's table. His smile turned on them like a fully charged lumos and he waggled his quill at them. "I'm not going to be able to sign all of those books girls," he said in what he probably thought was a charming and jokey tone, "so how about a copy of Magical Me each and I'll see you at school?"

Before they could protest he had scrawled across three copies of his autobiography and waved them along, beaming like an idiot the whole time.

"Great," Lisa said, turning Magical Me over so she didn't have to look at Lockhart's face, "now we all have an extra book by that guy."

"I think he seems nice," Sally said, "lots of people smile because it's polite, I think he's really happy to be here."

"You always try and see the best in people," Lily mumbled."

"What?"

"Not everyone is as nice as you want to believe." She said a little louder, "sometimes people don't have soft gooey centres."

"Well you always see the bad parts of people." Sally said sanctimoniously. "Maybe if you look for good you'll find it, but if you keep looking for badness then that's all you'll find."

Lily wasn't quite sure how to respond to that, so she settled for dumping her books on the counter and forking over what felt like far too many galleons for the privilege.

They trotted back out into Diagon Alley with their backs bent under the weight of their purchases, and Lisa quite wisely suggested that they should go and find their parents. Sadly, once they got to the Leaky Cauldron Sally's parents announced that they had to be off to relieve their babysitter of the pressure of looking after Henry, Sally's hyperactive younger brother. The girls said their goodbyes, and Lily felt tears sting the edges of her eyes, wishing that they could have all gone straight to school right then and there.

"Hey," Sally said, giving her san extra tight hug, "see you in a week remember?"

Lily nodded, "see you at King's Cross."

AN:- Big news for this chapter, Lily found her sense of sarcasm!

I'm settling into the characters a bit more I think. Lisa is the straight man, Lily is the sarcastic one, and Sally is the excited one. For some reason they sort of turned into the cast of Friends. Lily is Chandler, Sally is halfway between Joey and Phoebe, and Lisa is Ross.

Bite is kind of a Twilight thing. Young pretty perfect Mary Sue witch falls in love with a tortured young mysterious wizard. It turns out he is a werewolf, and they fall in love. He is too honourable to do anything, but she insists and eventually they end up married. In the latest book they are about to have a child, and there is much angsting about whether or not it will be a werwolf as well. Selene hates the books, but she has to keep writing them.

The Voldemort thing. Of course Sally wouldn't know not to say his name. It didn't come up the year before, but the whole Quirrel thing would have made her look into it over the holiday, so...

Lucius and Draco have obviously just come from Borgin and Burkes. Sally and Lisa have never really seen up close how Lily is treated by the members of the pure-blood community. This is the first time they've seen the casual disdain that the pureblood community treats others with. I tried to write Lucius the way he was in the book, so I hope it's alright.

Like I say, I couldn't think of a single reason to have Lisa and Lily like Lockhart, and if there's one thing Sally knows, it's people.

Great fun having the girls MST3King Lockhart.