I'm so addicted to this story right now that I'm just addicted to writing chapters. Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, they were really nice!
The song for this chapter is 'Run' - Snow Patrol.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games.
Chapter Two - 'Run'
It's hard to pull myself together – to suddenly create a calm façade in the middle of chaos – but I manage. I straighten and turn towards the stage. There are a few impatient peacekeepers that make their way towards me from their positions near the other kids. Apparently I'm taking too long. They move to grab my arms and I hear Annie suck in a breath. When they touch me, I shrug them off and send them a look. Even though my legs are stiff and heart is thumping loudly – louder than before – I refuse to be dragged onto the stage.
I try to walk as smoothly and as confidently as I can towards the steps, towards the aqua lady, even though my mind is spinning. Someone in the crowd is sobbing and crying out. Despite being silent all afternoon, I know it's my mother. I'm scared to look over at her, worried that I'll break if I do. It's the only noise in the square that I'm struggling to block out, and it's tearing me to pieces inside.
When Asta reaches for my arm at the top of the steps, I let her. There's no point in struggling against the escort – even though it was her fault that I've been chosen. She's smiling like she's won the whole of Panem. I can't help but think about how ridiculous Asta looks up close – her skin too pale a blue for the ocean, a weird, wave-like tattoo curling up the left side of her face – it's surreal. Her nails are long and ridiculous on her bony fingers, but her grip is tight as she puts her arm around me and pulls me towards the microphone.
She gives me an uncomfortable squeeze as she speaks, "My, what a dashing boy! A gorgeous tribute, if I do say so myself!"
As much as I don't want to, I allow myself to look over the audience. Amongst the sad faces of the district, my family is easy to spot. Both my father and Tanner are holding and supporting my mother, who seems to be unable to stop sobbing. I swallow, finding it hard to just stand up here, helpless to console her. I can also see Annie, now standing as close as she can to the stage, eyes wide and watery, and both her tiny hands clamped over her mouth. I can tell easily that she's trying not to cry. 'Don't cry Annie,' I want to say to her, 'or you'll make me cry too.' If this was any other situation, I would've sent her a pointed look because of Asta's comment about me, but it's not - It's the worst situation I can think of other than Annie being the one up here, standing beside me. I bite down on my lip. It's the best hope I have of not doing anything weak on stage – I can't show any weakness now or I'll be one of the first gone.
But, as Asta pulls me back to stand beside Lilah, I find it even harder. She's just staring at the cracked floor, shoulders shaking and arms wrapped around her, as if holding everything together. I feel terrible. She's only twelve and already she's frightened to death.
After the mayor reads the treaty, the aqua lady, in her stupid voice, tells us to shake hands, I don't hesitate to pull Lilah into a hug. She's so much smaller than me, and I can feel her little hands cling onto the front of my shirt desperately. It's the least I can do and, not admitting anything, I need this too. I can hear Asta coo into the microphone, and people in the crowd murmuring and sniffing. If this is considered a weakness, I don't mind showing it.
For her sake, and for mine, I don't let Lilah go for the duration of the anthem, letting the girl cry into my shirt. It feels nice to be able to just hold onto something as the shock sinks in. Even though we've never spoken to each other before, she doesn't seem to mind me holding her.
When the anthem finishes, we're quickly surrounded by peacekeepers. The noise in the crowd starts up softly, and I can hear a few people shout or scream in desperation – one of them is my mother, and it feels like I've been stabbed through the heart. It only happens once, and then I can be certain that Tanner or my father have shushed her for the time being.
As soon as we're down the steps and inside the Justice Building, the door is bolted shut behind us. It's a ridiculous idea, thinking that a fourteen and a twelve year old could make it past a mob of peacekeepers to escape, but I don't doubt that the stronger tributes haven't tried it before. It takes three of them to pull Lilah and me apart; she's screaming and kicking, obviously terrified of them. I want to comfort her again and just hold her until she stops, but I can't – as soon as we're separate, I'm shoved into an empty room and left alone, the door locked behind me.
It's dainty – very much like our escort – but not outrageously decorated. I stand for a moment, just staring at the ornate rug on the floor. It looks stupid. Everything in the room looks ridiculous and I just want to be outside - outside on the beach, in the sun, in the fresh sea air, and in the ocean. I want to be outside with Annie, just like I'd planned.
Disheartened, I sit on the small lounge. It feels weird and uncomfortable, despite how plush the cushions are. I want to cry, but I know that I can't. I've never even thought about killing anyone before and I don't know how I'm suddenly going to do it now. But I have to. I don't want to die. I can't die in the arena and leave behind everything in district four – my parents, my brother, Annie. I want to cry but I hold back, swallowing and pushing the bridge of my nose lightly. I don't know how long I'm alone for but when the door opens and family walks through, my resolve nearly breaks.
My mother looks so worn and hopeless, and just as I've managed to stand; she throws her arms around my neck, despite the height difference. I can't stop the choked noise that escapes my throat. She smells like home and I never want to leave this scent behind. In her arms, I feel so safe and loved. I return the hug, and press my face into the shoulder of her light green dress, willing myself not to sob. My father and brother quickly join, surrounding us – surrounding me – with their arms. It's all I can do to keep from bursting into tears along with them but, slowly, they manage to escape and stain my cheeks.
In my mother's arms, I can hear her muttering and murmuring things, most of them 'I love you' and things that I'm hesitant to believe like 'you'll make it'. I know this is stupid. I can only wait to see the Career tributes that will probably be responsible for the end of my life.
We don't say anything, instead just sitting there as a family for what could be the last time. There's nothing for me to tell them about what to do when I'm gone – I hadn't started properly in the fishing business and all I did was help spear and scale the fish. If there's anything, they'll figure it out – I'm sure they will. I never want this moment to end but, despite being able to breathe again, I miss the safety that suddenly disappears when the hug ends.
With her soft, old hands on my cheeks, my mother studies my face and smiles sadly. Her green eyes are red and puffy and her wrinkled face looks sad beyond anything I've seen before. Quietly, she pulls me down and presses a kiss to my forehead. It's a lingering goodbye. After a few moments, she pulls away completely.
Quickly, my father puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye, "Use your skills, Finnick. You're good with fish and alright with nets – but find something that could match a trident. In all my years I've never seen anyone as good as you, as I swear I'm not being biased." It means a lot to me that he's already thought this through, as I hadn't even given it a moment. "Do you understand?" When I nod stiffly, surprised, he quickly pulls me into another strong hug. "You can do this."
He pulls away and Tanner ruffles my hair. One look at his face and I can easily see that he's trying, but failing, to be optimistic for me. I wish I had that sort of attitude right now. Trying to make it easier, my attempt at a joke fails, "You messed my hair,"
Tears in his eyes, he smiles softly at me, "You love me,"
"I do," I nod and wrap my arms around him.
He responds quickly, as the peace keeper starts ushering my parents out, "I love you, Finn. You can do this."
I don't get a moment to thank him, because Tanner is pulled away from me after a few seconds of struggle and shoved out the door. On the other side, I can hear my mother screaming and sobbing again. I take a shaky breath in and run a hand through my hair. I'm not even in the capitol yet and I'm already being torn apart.
There's barely a chance to collect myself before the next person walks in quickly, "...Annie."
Holding a basket of string and struggling not to look panicked; it's obvious that Annie's been crying. I cross to her and she throws her arms around me, dropped her basket on the floor. After my family, I couldn't have asked for anyone that I'd rather want in here with me. May doesn't even enter my thoughts at this time.
Annie clings onto the back of my shirt just as desperately as I cling to her. She doesn't sob or cry loudly, which I'm thankful for. I don't think I could keep it together anymore if I could hear how much pain she's in. I can't be certain how long I'm standing there with my best friend in my arms but, as soon as she pulls away, I want to drag her straight back into them.
She takes my hand and the basket of string and pulls us to the lounge. I'm surprised that they let her in here with it, but I don't question it. Sitting beside me, she lays the basket on the floor beside her legs and takes two pieces of string.
"We don't have much time," I hear her say quietly. Despite this, her voice is filled with meaning and urgency. "Watch my hands." Slowly but purposely, she uses her small hands to tie and loop the two pieces of string together. I realise now what she's doing – she's teaching me to tie knots.
I doubt that I'm going to remember everything, but I try my hardest to focus and not let my mind wander. She's helping me because she wants me to come back – there's no other reason for it. Then I understand that it would be stupid to think that she wouldn't want me home – she looks nearly as miserable as I am.
When she finishes, the two blue strings from before have been added to, becoming an intricate design of intertwining shades of blue. It's quick and rushed but it's still better than anything that I could have done. With skilled fingers, Annie ties a knot off at each end of the design, leaving strings hanging, somewhat evenly, from the ends of both. Before I can ask, she's taken my wrist and put it in her lap, and is tying the string around it. It looks beautiful – something that I could never make, I know for sure.
She holds onto my hand for longer than necessary, looking at the new bracelet on my wrist. A small, sad smile plays on her lips, "I was going to teach you to make these after the bet but..." She plays with my fingers for a few moments before letting go. "I had to cram a lesson into hardly any time."
I'm silent for a moment, not knowing what to say. Instead of spending all of our time crying and being miserable, she's tried to make the best of it. She's tried to help me as much as she can. Its heart warming and I can't help but smile softly, incredibly grateful, "Thank you, Annie."
She looks up at me, with her big, green, sad eyes and I die a little inside. I might never see them again. Softly, she reaches up and puts a hand on my cheek. I cover it with one of my own and watch her. She's trying to smile for me. Her deep brown hair is messy and her eyes are red and puffy, much like my mother's were, but she at least she's trying.
I feel terrible. I want to stay in the district and not fight in the Games, but there's no way out now. What she says next surprises me, "I would have volunteered for you."
The noise that leaves my throat is a mix between a laugh and a sob. I don't doubt that I would have volunteered for her too, if I could have and if she were in my place. However, I'm incredibly relieved that she's not. "What, do you think I can't handle myself in there, Annie Cresta?"
"Shut up, Finn, I'm being serious–" A peacekeeper walks in, and she immediately stops talking.
The stern looking man walks towards us and Annie presses her forehead to mine, not moving her hand from my face. "You can win this, you know." Her voice is low and urgent, trying to get everything out before the peacekeeper takes her from me, "You're strong and smart, but you have to believe that you can do it." She pauses only for a moment, "Do you believe?"
"Annie, I don't think –"
She cuts me off, "Finnick! Do you believe that you can win?" I've never heard Annie sound this desperate for an answer. She shakes me and searches my eyes frantically for something. I become aware of the peacekeeper holding onto her shoulder, pulling her slightly.
I don't have time to think it through, but I follow my gut instinct, "Yes. Yes, I do!"
She barely manages to peck me on the cheek before she's dragged away from me, her hand slipping from mine. I stand and follow her as far as I dare. Annie looks frantic as she's pulled out, and she struggles to unfasten something from her neck. The peacekeeper has her halfway out the door when she throws something towards me. It's a terribly aimed throw and nearly hits me in the face, but I managed to catch it.
It's her necklace – made of small, white puka shells. I've never seen her take it off since we were kids. One look at it and I can tell that it's important to her.
"Promise to bring it back to me, Finnick!" She manages to shout out, "Promise me you'll come back!"
"I promise!" I barely manage to get the words out in time before the door shuts and I'm left alone again, holding the necklace in my hands.
The car ride is surreal. I sit in the leather seats, unsure what to do with myself. I don't want to make conversation with the driver, and it seems as though he feels the same way about me. I play with Annie's necklace in my hands as I look out the window. The sea passes by quickly and it's disorientating – I'm not used to moving so quickly and I start to feel worse than what I already do.
The horrible feeling in my stomach and the lump in my throat haven't disappeared since I left the stage, but I've calmed down a bit. I sit alone in the back seat of the car and come to the realisation that I'm being shipped off to my death.
It begins to get noisier outside the car and, soon, we've pulled to a stop. Outside the car, people are pushing and shouting. Before I understand what's going on, the door, protecting me from the chaos outside, is opened by a peacekeeper. Suddenly the voices are louder and I'm blinded. Cameras are flashing in my face and people are waving at me. I don't know where half of them have come from – not that I can see them properly anyway. White spots clot my vision. I barely have time to pocket the necklace as a peacekeeper drags me from the dark of the car.
With men in white on either side of me, I'm guided to the train as cameras follow my face. They have screens up everywhere and it's hard not to miss seeing myself on them. I'm in every corner and you can see nearly every detail on my face. My hair is ruined, messy despite all the work I put into it this morning. My eyes are only slightly red, which I'm thankful for.
Behind me, Lilah has stopped crying, but her eyes are puffy and she looks miserable as the cameras move to her. It seems as though she's already started to give up. It isn't long until the reporters get bored and zoom back in on my face. It's frustrating, but at least they're not broadcasting the girl's misfortune to the whole nation.
They drag her up to my side, where we're forced to stand outside the doors to the train for the reporters. I risk waving to them, curious of their reaction, and several of the reporters are suddenly shouting and taking more photos. It's amusing, seeing all these colourful people tumbling over each other to see me. The peacekeepers push several of them away roughly when they get too close.
After a few more moments, the doors behind us slide open and we're suddenly face to face with Asta. She takes both of our hands and quickly pulls us in, out of the madness. I don't know where I'd rather be – with the reporters or with her – but at least it's quieter inside. The train moves off smoothly and, with just a glace behind me, the reporters seem to just fly off into the distance, replaced with a blur of landscape. Lilah isn't sure whether to grab something or sit on the floor at first, so I put a hand on her shoulder, trying to be as comforting as I can.
"You two were fabulous and we haven't even done anything yet!" We're both watching our escort as she expresses her excitement. I don't know how to feel towards Asta – she just seems to be in this for the money and the fame. She removes her sharp hands from ours and turns around, leading us down a hall. "Isn't it wonderful in here? You both are wonderful. I love district four and I could just eat both of you right up! We're going to have so much fun!"
She obviously can't tell how unimpressed we are, as she keeps swaying down the hall. I look over to Lilah and feel exactly how she's looking – lost and hopeless.
I'm pretty sure that the next chapter will be up within the next few days!
I'm neglecting my other stories for the love of this, oops.
Thanks for reading! :)