I don't own VA or anything just the story line! Anyway, please enjoy! I don't own Antidote by Faith Marie.
Rose POV
There was so much screaming. 'Why does mommy and daddy hate each other' I thought as I hid behind the wall where they couldn't see me or hear me. They're always yelling why are they yelling! I would always notice dad was gone and mom was always crying and then she would yell at me to leave. But today was different.
"You don't think I know about that man you bring into my household! Around MY daughter!" I heard my father yell.
"What and you can bang those secretaries at work?! I'm not stupid! I should have left you years ago! I'm done! I'm taking Rosemarie and we're leaving!" I heard a loud smack and a thud.
"Like hell you are! You can leave! Rose stays with me!" I heard Baba yell. I heard my mommy get up.
"You think you'll get her ever after I tell the court what you really do for a living! You'll never get to see her! I'll make sure of it!" I heard my mommy throw something. I cried and tried to stop the noise with my hands over my ears.
"Oh? What about that little pill problem of yours? How would the court like it if they found out your pill addiction?" My father chuckled darkly.
"You bastard! I'll leave with her one way or another! Over my dead body you'll have her!" I heard her leave the room and trudge up the stairs without noticing me against the wall.
"Rose! Rose! Where are you! We're leaving honey!" Mommy yelled. I saw my daddy come in and look down at me. He crouched next to me and stroked my streaked face.
"I'm sorry you had to hear that My little Rose. Know that mommy and I love you no matter how much we dislike each other. You are the best thing that happened to us. Now I'm going to talk to mommy and then you and I can go on a trip to Turkey. Daddy's birthplace remembers we went there before to see grandma and grandpa before they went to heaven?" I nodded and clutched onto him.
"Baba…I don't want you to leave…Please don't leave me…I want to go with you! Not mommy!" I cried harder.
"I promise my little Rose. I will never leave you." He whispered to me. I heard my mommy come down the stairs and I was pried away from my Baba. I wailed and reached out for him.
"Babaaaaa!" I cried for him while he growled at mommy.
"She is coming with me! You won't see her ever!" She started walking towards the door with me flailing in her arms.
"Baba! Baba! I want you! Baba!" I screamed and wailed.
"Put her down Janine! She doesn't want to go with you!" Baba yelled at Mommy. She just ignored him and went to fumble with the door, but Baba grabbed her and took me out of her arms while she fell to the floor. Her eyes were red rimmed and glossy; dilated her pupils were huge.
"You're not going anywhere with her. Your high off your mind and aren't in the right mind to leave. Go to bed and sober up." My father warned. She just shook suddenly pulled out a knife and lunged at Baba. Baba quickly through me on the sofa near us and grabbed mommy's wrist and I heard a crack. Mommy went to get to me, but suddenly there was a loud bang and she stopped. She looked straight at me and dropped. Red liquid started to surround her head and I cried. Baba walked over and turned her over and closed her eyes. He sighed and walked over to me and picked me up.
"I'm sorry baby girl. I didn't want you to see this." He whispered to me. There were loud sirens and suddenly the door came off.
"Freeze! Put the child down and put your hands up!" Three big men came in with guns and whimpered into my daddy's shoulder.
"Daddy…Don't go…" I cried. I felt him hug me and set me down.
"Rose…I promise when I get out I will take you home. We can live like a big happy family. Just you and me with all the animals in the world. Okay? For now, daddy must go bye bye. I'm not breaking my promise to you. I won't ever leave you. I'll be in your heart where I'll always be. You'll never be alone." He took off a necklace that looked like an eye and put on me.
"As long as you have this I'm always with you. It's called a Nazar, it keeps bad things away. It'll protect you until I come and get you." He said and kissed my forehead while the three men took him away while I cried and begged him to say.
"BABA!"
I gasped and woke up in a cold sweat. I hand went my neck where my Nazar used to be. I let out a shake breathe and reached into the nightstand drawer next to me where it sat. I looked at it and slammed the drawer shut. 'No one needs to know. Remember. Don't trust anyone.' I thought. I got up and walked out of the room quietly; I went downstairs into the kitchen to get a drink. I grabbed a glass after rummaging through the cabinets and turned on the faucet. I took a drink and was deep in thought when the light suddenly came on. I gasped, and the glass fell from my hand on to the floor shattering in a loud sound. I saw Viktoria looking at me startled and frantic.
"I'm so sorry Rose! I didn't mean to scare you. Goodness I have a bad habit of doing that." I just let out a shaky breath and smiled.
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shatter the glass. I'll clean it up." By now Olena and Randall had come out; as well as Dimitri who had stayed the night. I bent down to clean up the glass when I accidently cut the middle of my hand on a piece that stuck out a little higher than the others. I hissed and naturally looked to see it bleeding decently. My vision started blurring and my breathing got more rapid. 'Oh god. It's blood. It's too much. Too much blood.' I started panicking. I felt someone grab me and pick me up and set me down on something soft.
"Rose." I heard an echo, but I couldn't focus. I was so far gone.
"Rose!" I heard again and this time I felt someone hugging me and stroking my hair until my vision became clearer and my breathing evened. I looked to see Dimitri had taken me into the living room away from the glass.
"Rose. You with me?" He asked, and I nodded slightly. Olena came over to me with a first aid kit and sat on the living room table.
"I'm going to clean up your cut okay? Why don't you talk to Dimitri while I do it?" She smiled sweetly, and I nodded. I turned my head while she started to clean my cut. I winced at the pressure but kept my focus on Dimitri.
"So, I'll be taking you to school on Monday. Mama and Papa wanted to give you a week to get used to it here before they threw you into a social warfare battle zone. Mama would usually be the one to take you, but her and Babushka will be out of town with Sonya and Karolina on a spa get away thing. Viktoria would, but she doesn't have a car. Papa works early in the morning, so you and Vika are stuck with me." He distracted me from the light pain coming from my hand.
"Oh, that reminds me. I'm going out with some friends tomorrow; Mia Rinaldi, Lissa Dragomir, Christian Ozera, Mason Ashford, Eddie Castile, Adrian Ivashkov, our cousin, and Sydney Sage. It's a big group I know, but everyone is super nice in their own way. Lissa is super nice and kind in general, while Adrian and Mia are kind of the flirts' slash risky kind of people, Mason and Eddie are like two peas in a pod; they are basically the class clowns of the school and they are super laid back. Sydney and Christian are kind of the quiet ones in their own separate ways. Christian comes off kind of the moody and depressed with a bad attitude, but under all that he's nice once he starts to think of you as a friend. Though his nice is being snarky and sarcastic, but don't take offense to it. Sydney comes off as indifferent and doesn't take to strangers that quickly, but once you're her friend she is one of the best you'll have. Christian and Lissa are dating, as well as Adrian and Sydney. Mia is kind of all over the place with guys not in the bad way, but just in 'haven't found the right one' way. Finally, Mason and Eddie. They dance around each other a lot. They don't want to ruin their friendship, so they act like there is no tension of them wanting each other. Anyway, you'll get along with them and they'll love you. At least you'll have some people you know before you come to school." Viktoria rambled. I smiled and told her I'd be glad to come.
"Alright all done! It wasn't too deep, so it'll take a couple of days to heal. We just have to keep it clean and constantly dressed and wrapped." Olena smiled sweetly.
"Anyway, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but why were you up this early? It's almost two o' clock in the morning." Viktoria asked before she could even think. I just shook my head and looked at the floor.
"Nightmare. That's all." I quietly mumbled.
"Must have been a hell of a nightmare for you t-" Dimitri grabbed her and smiled at me.
"We should be getting to bed now. So please excuse us. I'm right across from you if you need me, ok? Have a better night Roza." He says while walking up the stairs with Viktoria in tow.
"I think we should all head to bed. Have better dreams Rose." Everyone left, and I sighed shakily. I walked up to my room and pulled the drawer out on my nightstand. I gently caressed the Nazar and picked it up, then got into bed crying myself to sleep. Wishing I could have been born in a different time and place.
*Morning*
"Rose! Wake up! Mama says she needs you downstairs! It's almost breakfast time anyway!" I woke up to Viktoria yelling through my door. I threw my pillow at the door as a response. I heard her feet pound down the hall and stairs while I got up and threw on some baggy sweats and a baggy sweater hiding all evidence of the repressed depression on my arms. I hadn't slept at all last night. Night terror after night terror after I closed my eyes. Seeing so much blood made me feel so ill. I threw my hair into a ponytail and walked downstairs seeing everyone laughing, Viktoria pouting at a comment made by Dimitri. Olena noticed me first and smiled then frowned when she saw my pale face and dark bags under my eyes.
"Rose! I have some things for you! Why don't you come to the kitchen? I need some help with breakfast anyway." Olena nodded towards the kitchen and walked while I followed noticing everyone stayed where they were. I walked in and saw Olena holding a bag while inspecting me.
"This is all your medication. I know you don't like them, heck I don't even like looking at them, but if they help you then I'll give them a chance. I'll go through them for you. Your depression meds you must take them twice, one during the day and one at night, night terror meds are once a night, appetite meds are before every meal, and anxiety is once a day." I felt nauseous looking at them all. I grabbed the anxiety, antidepressants and appetite, grabbing a cup of water Olena handed me and took them out swallowing them. I washed them down with the water and Olena put them all in the kitchen cupboard. We walked back into the dining room with breakfast and sat down. Everyone chattered about anything and everything while I stayed quiet and nodded when someone asked me something. I finished without going for seconds and excused myself choosing to get ready for the day. I walked upstairs and into my room, grabbing a pair of blue jeans and a long sleeve blood red long sleeve. I got in the shower and did the necessities before I got out and got dressed. I left the bathroom and into my room where Vika was laying on my bed.
"You ready to go? Their all waiting at the bowling alley. I promise you'll like them!" I nodded, and I followed her downstairs.
"Dimitri! Can you give us a ride to the bowling alley since you're on your way to work?" Viktoria asked while Dimitri nodded, grabbing his keys and duster. We followed saying our goodbyes to the others and I whistled when I saw the car we were walking to.
"1970 Ford Mustang Mach I. V-8 and four speed manual transmission? Suede leather interior. Pure black exterior simple, but gorgeous." I complimented.
"You speak car?" Viktoria said with a grimace. We got in with me in the back and Viktoria in the passenger seat.
"I guess going from home to home you learn something from every family. There was this family before the last. They had a son that wasn't so well behaved. Taught me a lot, but I wasn't really a great kid. I ran away a lot and got into some deep trouble. I learned how to hotwire and to build an engine through the years. Anyway, he taught me everything there was to know about cars. It's something that actually enjoyed over my four years of it." I explained while looking out the window.
"That's cool. Dimitri runs a mechanic shop in town, well the only one, but he brings cars by all the time! There was once he brought over this nice Camaro and oh god it had speed!" Viktoria giggled.
"Really? A mechanic? I wouldn't have expected you to be one with a star lawyer father and a stay at home mom. No offense." I stated bluntly. He shifted and spoke after he made a turn into the parking lot of a nice-looking bowling alley.
"Yeah. It was my friend Ivan who turned me to it. He has wealthy parents and they had lots of nice cars he liked to take out and wreck when we were younger. Anyway, he couldn't tell his parents and it's a small town so taking it to the mechanic wasn't an option. So, I read up on cars and fixed them for him. After years of doing I grew to like it and decided at eighteen to go to college and get my business, along with my auto mechanic degree and certifications to become a mechanic and opened the shop here in town. I just lost a guy at the shop and I know that you need a job so your free to work with me and the guys. Ivan, Christian, Sydney, and few others mine and Ivan's age work there so you'll know a few people. Think about it for the time until school." He gave me a small smile and parked. Viktoria got out and pushed the seat forward letting me out. I closed the door and smiled shyly.
"Thank you. For the offer. I'd like to work for you. Actually, can I start soon?" I asked.
"Yeah if you want you can start Saturday. I'll come by and take you there. Alright I'll see you girls later text or call if you need a ride." We waved, and he took off. I heard a loud squeal and saw a blond with short hair attack Viktoria in a bear hug.
"I missed you so much Vika!" She exclaimed.
"I missed you too Mia." Viktoria giggled. They separated, and everyone immediately looked at me. I tried to make my face as blank as possible.
"Oh guys! This is Rose Hathaway. She's the one staying with us. Rose this is Mia." She pointed the blond from a second ago. "Lissa." Pointed a nicely dressed blond with a kind smile. "Sydney." Another blond with a gold cross necklace. "Christian." A black-haired guy smirked at me. "Mason and Eddie." A red head with a goofy grin and a brunette with the same expression waved. "And finally, Adrian." A nicely dressed guy smoking a cigarette lazily grinned at me.
"Anyway. Let's go in!" Viktoria said while walking into the bowling alley. We followed with me all the way in the back and got our shoes and went to our reserved lane. We got into mid game and everyone was laughing even me. Everyone made me feel welcome; Lissa was always keeping conversation with me along with Mia, Christian I found out is a perfect bickering partner and future partner in crime for me, and Adrian was someone I could make snide comments at and him not get offended. Sydney even talked a little about working with Dimitri and them when she found out he offered me the empty position. By the end we were walking out and talking about school and how they'll make sure I get through my first day no problem.
"Anyway, we should get going mama is making Borsch with black bread and tea cakes to celebrate Rose getting her job with Dimka." I looked at her confused and she just giggled.
"In our family nothing stays hidden that long. Dimka told Ivan and Ivan told his mom and our moms are best friends, so she told our mom and so mom is making a big celebratory dinner and dessert." She explained.
"Anyway, can you call Dimka really quick? Let him know we're ready to be picked up." I nodded and took her phone that was held out and went through it until I found Dimitri's name and pushed it to call. It rang two times before he picked up.
"Hello?" I heard his raspy voice which made me stop thinking for a moment.
"Uh…Dimitri? It's Rose. Um, we are done at the bowling alley, so we need a ride." I heard a loud clang and a foreign curse.
"Uh, I'm kind of behind here. Can you guys come to the shop? I'll be ready by the time you guys get here. Tell Vika and she know where to go." I heard a chuckle, and something being thrown.
"Ivan! Don't throw your empty oil can at me! I get you want to go home but throwing things won't help! I have to go Rose, I'll see you soon." He said goodbye and hung up. I gave the phone back to Vika who got done talking with the others.
"Dimitri told us to walk to the shop because he was behind." I told her, and she nodded. We said our goodbyes and started walking to the shop that wasn't that far. We walked up to the shop and went inside.
"Dimka!" She yelled and walked through the door.
"Hey Vika! I am finishing up here and then we can head out." Dimitri said as he was under the hood of a car with a tall blond standing next to him.
"Ooh, who's the pretty girl?" The blond noticed and grinned.
"Her name is Rose. Last time I checked I was the only one that got that tone of voice." Viktoria glared at him and he chuckled. He wrapped his arms around her and dropped a kiss on her head.
"Of course, not beautiful. You're my one and only girl, plus I have a feeling that she has a different taste in men." He glanced at Dimitri and then me grinning. I turned slightly red and Vika just smacked his arm.
"Be nice Ivan." She giggled, and I suddenly felt like it was too intimate for me so I walked over to Dimitri. I noticed him fiddling with the spark plugs on a 98 Honda Civic.
"Spark plugs bad?" I asked. Dimitri glanced over at me and nodded.
"Yeah, that's understatement. Their bad. I've been fiddling with it for the last thirty minutes, but I won't be able to get it done tonight. So, I'll try tomorrow." He wiped his hands off and walked with me following towards the front reception area.
"It's a nice place you have here." I said. He yelled at Ivan to turn off the lights in the garage and he went into the office and grabbed some stuff. He turned off the lights and walked out of the building turning off the lights and locking it up. We headed to his car and Ivan to his while saying our goodbyes. We got into the car and went home. We pulled up and walked into the house with Olena greeting us all with hugs.
"Oh I'm so happy for you Roza!" She exclaimed. I smiled and went into the kitchen taking my medication for the night. I walked out to see everyone at the dinner table and sat down with them. We laughed and after dinner had Russian Tea Cakes and tea. We hung out for a while before everyone decided to head to bed. I walked upstairs when I noticed the game room open and immediately saw a piano. My fingers twitched a little before I shook my head and headed to bed. I got into my sweats and tank then got into bed falling into my dark dreams.
Rose…Rose…ROSE! I saw my mother's bloody face and her scream.
I gasped and yelled out in panic. I sat there for a minute or so before getting up and my body walked into the game room over to the piano and ran a scale before finding a tune that I only ever played once, but yet it was so familiar to me.
Finding refuge in my own lies
"How are you"
"I'm doing alright"
Small talk is a great disguise
Just let me be just let me be
Empty thoughts start to crowd my mind
Am I only living, living to survive?
Shake it off but I've lost the drive
Just let me be just let me be
Let me be, okay
I increased the tempo and went into the chorus. I felt for once that I was free from all my past and night terrors.
No one knows what goes on up inside my head
There's a new kind of poison and it's starting to spread
No one knows what goes on up inside my head
They don't think I need help
But I'm scaring myself
I just want to be OK
I just want to be OK
By now I was slightly crying and hadn't noticed a tall figure in the door way.
All the voices in my head are coming to life
They're getting louder and I'm, I'm terrified
How do you run from your own mind?
Is this what I've become?
Take it back what have I done
No one knows what goes on up inside my head
There's a new kind of poison and it's starting to spread
No one knows what goes on up inside my head
They don't think I need help
But I'm scaring myself
I just want to be OK
I just want to be OK
I hated that I felt like I had all this bottled up, but know one knew. Of all the pain I had been through and held in.
No one knows what goes on up inside my head
There is a new kind of poison and starting to spread
But I didn't think the antidote was in my hands
I can change my plans I can change my plans
I tried to find my reflection on the glass
But all I ever saw were the things I lacked
All the smudges on the mirror made me go insane
All I ever thought I was
Was a mistake
No one knows what goes on up inside my head;
There's a new kind of poison and it's starting to spread
No one knows what goes on up inside my head
Up inside my head
Up inside my head
I finished and started crying when I felt someone wrap their arms around me. I turned into the warm chest and sobbed into their chest. I heard mumuring in Russian which I realized was Dimitri. I slowly calmed down and I just stayed in his arms for a while. Finally, he spoke and stroked my tear stained cheek.
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to but know that if you do need to talk I'm here to listen. What is said between you and me will stay between you and me." Dimitri gave me a reassuring smile.
"I-I can tell you, but it might take me a bit to get through it. Only Alberta and the people that were there know about it. It's hard for me to let someone in, but it's eating me away. I can't sleep, and I can barely force myself to eat. I need someone that won't judge me. You've, since the beginning, have never judged me or asked questions. You don't didn't give me pity and let me work for you when you barely know me. This stays here okay?" He nodded and rubbed my back showing me comfort.
"I was born into a high-middle class family. We weren't wealthy, but we had nice things." I swallowed hard and let out a trembling gasp. He rubbed my back even more giving me a reassured squeeze on my hand.
"From as far as I can remember my parent's fought all the time. They looked like the perfect family, but behind closed doors my father was a workaholic that came home late all the time. He and my mother were both unfaithful always sleeping with other people. My father never brought anyone home not wanting me to be around it. My mother on the other hand had a pill addiction and like to bring strange men home while baba wasn't home. She would always yell and scream at me if I saw something I wasn't supposed to and lock me in my room until my father found out and that caused another level of fighting. My father did a lot of dirty dealings under the rug of his owned business. One night he came home to my mother high on pills and saw a man leaving. He grew angry and they started to yell. My mother threatened to take me away and my father wasn't having it. She went upstairs to find me while the entire fight I had been hiding behind the wall they were arguing on the other side. My father knew I was there and told me that she won't take me away and I remember telling him that I wanted to stay with him. My mom ripped me out of my father's arms when he hugged me and took off towards the door. I screamed for him and snapped. He took me out of my mother's arms and shoved her to the floor, but she came at him with a knife and he threw me onto the couch and broke her wrist. She was still high on pills, but she went to grab me and-and-" I sobbed loudly while Dimitri comforted me.
"He-He shot her. Point blank in the head. There was so much blood. He came over to me and said he was sorry. The policemen came in and took him under the account of Voluntary manslaughter. He gave me a family necklace called the Nazar and he told me he'd be back one day. That he will always love me. I haven't heard from him since. From what Alberta told me, he could be out any year now. My father was never a bad man. He did bad things, but he only wanted to protect me and to an extent my mother no matter how much he hated her. I was five when this happened. After that I got thrown into an orphanage for a while because I didn't have any family. It was the first and the last. I was neglected, beaten, and starved by them before Alberta came along and took me in. She put me in foster family after foster family. No one wanted a troublesome child who couldn't seem to behave and had so many mental issues. Screaming from a night terror, having to force me to eat, sleep, take my pills, not cut myself or commit suicide. I was a burden to everyone. Alberta almost gave me back to the orphanage when she ran out of families after the last ones I set the son in my grades hair on fire for groping my boob. You guys are my last chance. If I mess up, I'm gone." I slowly calmed down.
"Roza. You are so much more than a burden. You're so beautiful it hurts and I'm sorry you had to go through that at a young age. No child should go through that abuse both physically, emotionally, and mentally. Your so strong for getting this far when most would have given up. You may take pills, you may have scars, you may have issues, but we don't care. We love you for you and we wouldn't want you any other way. I help you and help fill that void. Don't forget you have me and my family behind you no matter." He stroked my cheek and kissed my forehead.
"Let's get you to bed okay?" I nodded tiredly and he picked me up bridal style and carried to my room. He laid me in my covers and went to stand straight, but I held onto him and whimpered.
"C-Can you stay for a while. Just until I fall asleep." I begged and he nodded slipping between the covers holding me.
"Thank you." I mumble as I doze off, but not before hearing.
"Anything for you Roza…" He whispered.