Listen to What's in the Heart of a Child Chapter 2, a spring awakening fanfic

Ernst went over the Latin assignment a few times with a puzzled expression placed upon his face. Why did they even do Latin? When was he ever going to speak Latin other then church? He stared down at the bed underneath him and softly giggled as he imagined the nights when Hanschen used to stay the night. When Mama wasn't suspicious, of course. Hanschen would sleep on the bed most of the time, and Ernst would take the floor just in case Mama was to walk in. Ernst would whisper sweet nothings to Hanschen and Hanschen's response would be a kiss on lips. He covered his mouth and shut his eyes, letting a giggle escape from his lips.

He bit down hard enough for his lip to bleeding, hoping that that would take his mind off of his boyfriend who was probably so cold and lonely. Ernst put his homework away, he couldn't concentrate. Ernst just continuously kept hoping and praying, and hoping and praying that Hanschen was alright. In a sense, Ernst knew he should have been the one sent to the reformatory. They thought it was all Hanschen, that Hanschen forced Ernst into being intimate with Hanschen. He couldn't speak up… he couldn't be caught, it wasn't happening.

He made his way over to his little 'hiding spot' and took out his journal. Then headed back to his little cove, otherwise known as his bed. Ernst made sprawled out, his hand in action to write.

Why can't he just come back and I take his spot up there at that mean place? I mean, it's really my fault. I shouldn't have invited him to go the vineyard that day. And being at the doctors doesn't help much because he isn't telling me what is wrong with me. I keep wondering why I go. I did something wrong, being with Hanschen, but what's so wrong about it? Why can't anyone tell me?

Warm tears formed in the corner of his eyes as they splashed down his cheek, reaching the page and leaving their mark. Ernst wiped them away as more decided to come crashing down. He shook his head and let them be. Ernst just needed to get his feelings out.

The thing is… when he comes back, what if he has moved on or found somebody better then me? Somebody more attractive and somebody a little less gentle. See, I'd do anything for him. Whatever he wanted, I did for him. I guess I like him too much and I should just give up all my feelings for him.

I guess it's best to just figure out what I want. For now, it's him.

Ernst closed up the notebook and hid it once more. He could only handle so much in one day. Time to get some rest. He prayed that night that the next day maybe was better.

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Monday rolled around and Ernst still wasn't feeling up to school. Mama had handed him the list of items she needed. He knew walking maybe could help clear his mind. He kissed her cheek and smiled. "I'll do it, Mama." Ernst bid his goodbyes then headed out his front door. Closing the freezing knob behind him.

Ernst finished up his shopping, paid and made his way to the door. As he was exiting, someone else was entered and managed to push past him. He let out a sigh and murmured, "Excuse me?" It was him. It had to be. Ernst's eyes widened as he stared up at him. "Hanschen?"

Ernst made his way out of the store and his lover followed behind him. The two headed to the side of the store which was almost secluded, but not enough.

Hanschen knew it was best to not say anything at all for fear that when he returned to the reformatory, he'd miss Ernst too much. "Hello Herr Robel, do you need any help with that?" He motioned toward the bags in his arms.

Ernst shook his head, his mouth proceeded to become dry. "No, I'm fine, I've got the bags. How are you?" Oh god, how gorgeous could he have gotten? Hanschen had always been but maybe it was not seeing him for so long. Wow, Ernst thought to himself. He couldn't believe it really was him. Ernst couldn't keep his eyes off of Hanschen. Ernst felt his heart racing the closer he moved to his lover.

Hanschen's facial expression changed within seconds to a confused look to a sudden smile. "Eh, fine. Reform's school's different. A little difficult." He jammed his hands in his pockets, feeling a little out of place. Hanschen kept glaring around the area making sure nobody he knew saw him with Ernst. He didn't want to go back to the reformatory. Despite how he hated his parents, he'd rather be at his house then at that sick place any day. "Maybe I should go."

Ernst's eyes widened to the size of golf balls as he shook his head. The light sun beat down on him, he didn't want Hanschen to leave. "Please stay…" Ernst felt like Hanschen had rejected him. They obviously were not allowed to see each. But when had that ever stopped Hanschen before in the past? Not once.

All Ernst wished for was a kiss. It may seem selfish but he missed the way Hanschen used to. Usually a little forced but Ernst didn't think much of it. Hanschen probably found a better looking boy who was better then Ernst in all senses. Ernst felt his knees getting weak and his hands shaking. Must hold onto the bags.

"Ernst, you know that I can't," Hanschen could barely look at Ernst. Every time he did, he didn't want to him.

"Five minutes," he said, insisting. Ernst moved the bags into one hand. He gripped the blondes hand in the other and led him into the woods.

When the two arrived Ernst looked around making sure that nobody could see them. Ernst placed the bags atop of a tree stomp. He turned to Hanschen with a grin on his lips. As soon as Ernst sat beside Hanschen, he placed his hand on his cheeks, "I've missed you so much," seemed to be the only thing escaping from his pink lips. Ernst wanted to tell him he loved him and that he was passing all his classes. Which, in the past, he wasn't. The last time he spoke those three most important words Hanschen's response wasn't one he excepted.

Hanschen couldn't pay too much attention to Ernst like he had in the past. "This isn't a good idea," he whispered, feeling a bit of a role reversal. Hanschen couldn't be here, it wasn't a good idea. Ernst was smart enough to know that but wanted to put Hanschen in harm anyway. "So what do you want? I must get home before my mother comes out looking for me. I'm sure so is yours, waiting for you." He looked as though he wanted to go home. No sense in him staying, right?

Ernst stared into those big blues eyes feeling a distant feeling, but that was certainly expected. That wasn't the reaction he was hoping to get. At all. He felt as though he was going to cry yet again, just as he did the night before. Ernst didn't want to seem like a baby infront of Hanschen, no, he'd pick on him about it. "Nothing…" Ernst picked up his bags. "Have a good evening." He bit down on his lip, trying his best not to break down into tears.

With that, he headed out of the woods and began back to his house. Ernst wanted so badly to see Hanschen running after him trying to see if he was alright. As usually, he didn't give a damn if Ernst was alright. It was Hanschen, all he cared about was himself. Why was Ernst foolish enough for falling for him? Ernst even risked getting caught again for him. What was he thinking?