I am overwhelmed and humbled by the response I received for the first chapter. Thank you to all those who read, reviewed, favorited, alerted, whatever. Thank you for giving this a chance. Please keep that supportive momentum up! Love to all. Read, review, and most importantly, enjoy.

Chapter 2

"But I'm holding back, that's the strength that I lack.

Every morning keeps returning at my window.

And it brings me to you,

And I won't just pass through,

But I'm not asking for a storm."

First Aid Kit, Emmylou

Sophie listened as Tony and Ziva talked in quiet voices in the kitchen. They were cleaning up from breakfast- pancakes and strawberries, which were her favorites. It sounded important, and she stopped drawing to take a deep breath. Important things made Sophie nervous- that usually meant that she was going to a new house with new people and long nights and lonely days.

She didn't want to leave Tony and Ziva's. They didn't hit, they didn't yell when she wet the bed or when she cried because she remembered things. They read stories and went to the park, drew pictures with markers. Ziva gave Sophie hugs when she woke up from scary dreams. She liked to watch movies with Tony. They were always doing something fun- clay, blocks, dress up. They were quiet things to do together. Nobody had ever really played with her or did what she wanted to do before.

Were they watching to see if she was really as good as she was pretending to be? Probably, since she was a bad kid. That's why Rachel never picked her up from babysitting at Mrs. Gonzalez's house, or why Mr. Williams hit her or why Mrs. Parker yelled loud in her ear. Being a bad kid meant that Sophie wasn't allowed to have a mommy and a daddy. That's why school was so hard- she didn't like to watch all the other boys and girls get picked up from class by their mommies and daddies, who gave them kisses and oohed and ahhed over their drawings.

Usually Marcy picked Sophie up from kindergarten. Marcy was a big girl who lived with Sophie at Mr. Williams house. She was fifteen years old, which meant she got to wear short skirts and chew bubblegum and do homework from big heavy books. They didn't have pictures like the books she read with Tony and Ziva-only lots of words. Marcy had a boyfriend named Gabe, and sometimes he would come with Marcy to pick her up and ask her how her day was. Marcy pretended not to like Sophie when Gabe was around, but at night when Mr. Williams broke her glasses or made her eat outside, Marcy would give her a hug and let her sleep in her bed.

But Marcy stopped letting Sophie sleep in her bed because Mr. Williams started coming into her room at night. Sophie worried about Marcy all alone in the big lonely house with Mr. Williams and his mean fist.

Marcy was the first person to take care of Sophie like mommies and daddies on TV. She missed Marcy more than she missed Rachel sometimes, which was weird because Rachel was her mommy, but Marcy was nicer to her than Rachel ever was.

Rachel didn't love Sophie- she knew this because she told her so. She called her lots of names and made her eat the spicy red stuff until she threw up or when she asked too many questions about the men or the needles.

Sophie wanted a mommy like the ones she saw on TV, but she also wanted her mommy to love her. Maybe Ziva was like her TV mommy, because she did all the things they did- she brushed Sophie's hair, gave her hugs, read stories. Ziva told her she loved her, but why did Ziva love her and Rachel didn't? When Sophie thought about all these things too much it made her head hurt and she had to curl up in a ball and suck her thumb until the thinking stopped.

Ms. Andrea was coming to visit today. Sophie didn't want her to- when Ms. Andrea visited it meant it was time to grab her backpack and go. She bit her lip and watched the cars drive by. They went super fast- she wondered if when she was bigger she would be able to run that fast. The doorbell rang and she jumped.

"It is alright, n'sicha," Ziva soothed, putting a warm hand on her back. "She is just coming to check on you."

Sophie nodded, feeling numb.

Ms. Andrea waved and gave her a big smile. "Hi Sophie! How have you been?"

"Good," she replied. Her heart beat fast like when she was about to get in big trouble for being such a bad kid. She wanted a hug from Ziva.

"Well, I'm just gonna have a look around, and then I'll talk to Tony and Ziva, and then you can get back to playing."

Sophie nodded and sat down stiffly on the couch. Ms. Andrea was looking in the fridge and in the big sunny playroom. She started talking quietly to Tony and Ziva and it got hard to breathe because they were probably asking her if they could still send her away. She felt clumsy and uncomfortable, like her heart was too big for her small body. Sophie wanted her to leave- Ms. Andrea reminded her that she'd never be like a normal kid.

…

"So," Andrea began, "You're licensure has come through. This means you'll start receiving a monthly stipend for Sophie's care. I've heard you're interested in adopting her- is that correct?"

"Yes." Tony answered quickly, grinning as he grabbed Ziva's hand.

"Great." Andrea said, nodding enthusiastically. "I would recommend you have Sophie evaluated by some doctors- a pediatrician, a phychiatrist, perhaps even an educational consultant. She's had some pretty traumatic experiences. I can give you some references in the area, if you'd like."

"I would appreciate that- thank you." Ziva confirmed.

"Good. I'll leave them with you now. I'll begin searching for any extended family- her mother's rights were terminated by the state when she abandoned Sophie two years ago. If nobody comes forward, we can start the finalization process."

"Wow," Ziva breathed, at a loss for words.

Andrea smiled knowingly. "I'll be back in about a month. Don't hesitate to call me if you have any questions." She stood up from the table, smoothing out the wrinkles in her pencil skirt. "Bye Soph! Enjoy the rest of your day!"

Sophie nodded and looked at her her lap, where her hands were clenched in fear. Ziva wondered if she ever be able to forget all the abuse she had suffered. Probably not, she conceded grimly. She clucked her tongue and reached for her. "What is the matter, my sweet girl?" she cooed, rubbing her arm. Sophie shook her head, quiet and sad.

Tony kneeled down so they could see eye to eye. "Ms. Andrea came today so we could talk about adopting you- making you our little girl forever. What do you think about that?"

Sophie's eyes went wide and she opened and closed her mouth a few times before speaking. "Until I have to go?" She questioned.

Ziva smiled and shook her head. "No, shaifeleh. Forever means that you will live with us and be our daughter until you a grown up and have your own family. It means that even when you are a grown up, you will still be our daughter."

Sophie furrowed her brows and seemed to mull this over. "Ok." She finally said. Forever sounded better than ok- it sounded safe. Did forever mean that Rachel was never coming back for her? Maybe. Maybe that was ok. Maybe forever with Tony and Ziva was what she wanted.

...

Ziva smiled warmly as Sophie made her way into the kitchen for dinner, her hair wild about her face. "Are you hungry, shaifeleh?" She asked sweetly, and Sophie shrugged. She barely ever said more than a few words a day, and only when it was absolutely necessary. It made her worry about Sophie's future, and about her capabilities as her mother. Should she be doing more? What should she be doing? These were some of the things that kept her awake at night.

Tony put the bowl of salad down next to the platter of spaghetti with meatballs- Sophie seemed to enjoy that. "Ready, kiddo?" He asked, and pulled her chair out for her.

She moved forward, but tripped on a wet spot on the tile floor. Sophie landed on her stomach and her chin hit the floor, sending her teeth into her bottom lip. Her eyes went wide, round, shocked, before she began to cry.

Ziva moved to comfort her but Tony got there first. He took Sophie in his arms and gave her a soft but welcoming hug. "Baby," he cooed, "Can you open your mouth so I can see if you hurt yourself?"

Sophie continued to cry, but let Tony probe open her mouth so he could inspect the cut on the inside of her lip. The bleeding was already slowing, but he took the ice cube Ziva handed him and placed it on the wound anyway. "That should make it better," he whispered softly, rubbing her arm a little.

Ziva marveled at this sweet sight and teared up a bit. She had always known Tony would make an excellent father, but seeing him in action brought an inexplicable feeling of elation and pride. She could already see her as daddy's little girl- she knew Sophie already had Tony wrapped around her little finger without having done much but simply fill the empty void they had been seeking to fill in their house for years.

Sophie wiped at her eyes and yawned, dazed and exhausted from all that crying. Ziva quietly set a plate for both of them- they could eat when they were ready. She twirled her fork around some pasta and smiled as she watched Tony lift Sophie to his hip and sway back and forth, his chin atop her head.

….

Sophie came easily into Tony's lap and sighed sleepily, her thumb reaching her mouth. It was obvious she had difficult sessions with both of her new doctors. She closed her eyes and dozed. Ziva smiled thoughtfully and played with her hair as Dr. Amy Blake and Dr. Leah Stein settled themselves in chairs opposite them.

"Let's get down to business." Dr. Blake started, smiling a little, a pen woven between her long, thin fingers. "Sophie definitely presents some developmental delays, but they are mild. Her fine motor skills and comprehension aren't where I'd expect a four year olds to be, but I am confident that with some hard work and support, she can catch up to her peers. Her eyesight is also bad-she's very nearsighted. I want to give her another prescription for glasses- the old ones were not strong enough. But she's a great kid- so sweet!"

Dr. Stein nodded and jumped in. "Sophie is such a cutie pie, but I've noted some things from my evaluation today and from her file. She seems to have some anxiety and depression issues, which are common for children who have experienced trauma like she has. Furthermore, I can say that Sophie has Selective Mutism- an anxiety based disorder that prevents her from talking to most people. She is literally scared speechless. With some intensive therapy and lots of love, I am confident she can move past it. There is a fantastic program at the Child Mind Institute in New York City for children just like Sophie. They have week long sessions a few times a year where they have almost a school setting, but combined with field trips and special activities to get them talking. It's had amazing results. If her social worker agrees, you should start applying for the summer session- spaces fill up quickly."

Tony and Ziva nodded numbly, a little shocked.

Both doctors smiled kindly, knowingly. "It's a lot, we understand," Dr. Stein added.

Dr. Blake nodded. "Also, we have agreed that putting Sophie back in her old kindergarten classroom is not the best idea. She is on the younger side of the class, and coupled with her delays and her SM, we think it would set her back. We agree that it would be best to keep her home with you for now so she doesn't experience attachment issues in the future. We've also added a prescription for Paxil to manage her anxiety."

"Remember, keeping a schedule is important for this transition. Meals should be at the same time and same place every day. Food should be healthy but not terribly exciting. Bed and bath time should be at the same time and same place. "And she'll want to do the same things over and over again as she learns that she's safe and loved," Dr. Stein added softly, placing a hand on Sophie's back. Sophie simply watched her, calm and quiet.

"I think Sophie would benefit from twice weekly sessions with me. From her file and her SM, it's obvious we have a lot to work through. Right, honey?" Sophie quirked an odd smile at her but closed her eyes.

Tony and Ziva nodded, standing to shake both doctors hands. "We'll be in touch." He agreed, hoisting a dozing Sophie higher on his hip. Her hand curled possessively around his collar as she dropped off into a deep sleep.

...

Ziva padded down the stairs and plopped down next to Tony, who had his laptop open on his lap, a forgotten beer warming on the coffee table.

"Is she asleep?" He asked, not looking up from the screen. He was unshaven, a little grizzled with worry.

"Yes." She answered softly, cuddling up close to him so she could see what he was reading. "We read Olivia twice- I think it is quickly becoming a favorite." She squinted. "What are you doing?"

He shrugged, almost sheepishly. "Researching Selective Mutism, and that program the doctors recommended. Do you know its 2,500 dollars for a week long session?"

Ziva whistled through her teeth. "But it will be worth it, and the state will likely help with the cost."
"Yeah." He conceded. "The head doctor is one of the best in his field."

She hummed, reading over his shoulder. The website talked about social anxiety and exposure methods. She felt slightly nauseated as she imagined Sophie being abused into such silence, and swallowed hard.

"I can't imagine what she went through." Tony whispered, running a hand over his face.

Ziva grimaced. "I can," she admitted.

"I'm sorry you know what that feels like," he whispered, pulling her close.

"Don't be," she evaded. "Lets just… move on. As a family."