Heey there again guys! :3
Apologies for the accidental posting of chapter two, which was just a repeat of the first! My baad.. :P
Thankyou for those who've favourited and followed my story so far; please leave reviews!
This chapter also contains some guy on guy action (as a flashback), more extreme than last time, but no sexytimes... yet. :3 *evil laughter* It also contains a slight out of character Spock... expect much angst (welll, I tried :P)
This will be slow to develop, but it will be worth it, I promise. :)
Once again, I DO NOT own Star Trek... as much as I wished I owned Spock. *winks*
OKAYY, ON WITH IT.
X
Kirk swayed back onto the bridge in a severe state of confusion and feelings he couldn't quite fathom.
Spock...
He swayed violently, the floor coming up to meet him all too soon. Sulu and Uhura grabbed an arm each, and guided him to his captain's chair. Confusion clouded their eyes, along with a trace of worry. Uhura's eyes narrowed, and Kirk gulped, until she placed her cool hand on his feverish forehead.
"Hm, something troubling you, Captain? she enquired, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.
"Y-no, no, nothing at all. Why would you ask that?" Damnit, that sounded guilty... He cupped his face in his hands momentarily, attempting to pull himself together. A sharp voice hailed him back.
"Kirk. Care to explain the lack of First Officer on the bridge, and your sudden demeanour?" Uhura's voice was sharp, stinging him with judgement.
"I have no idea why our First Officer is not on the bridge, Uhura. You should also remember that I am the Captain of this ship, and to beware of the tone you are using. Now, we have little time of Alpha Shift left; would you mind returning to your station, and allowing me to carry out my duties?"
Her eyes narrowed even further into irritated little slits, and her voice was shaking with barely contained anger. "Of course Captain, but if I find out you've hurt him in any way, I will make it my mission to cause you equal pain." She turned on her heel and stalked away.
Kirk ground his teeth in frustration. He had forgotten that she and Spock were once together, and he couldn't help but feel guilty.
But, at the same time...
He felt it, too.
Spock was seeming to have trouble finding his feet. Slumping sideways, he gripped at the wall of the tunnel in an attempt to centre himself; he could not see the doctor in this emotional state.
Clenching his hands to prevent them from shaking, and taking a few calming breaths, he felt in a fit state to carry on. That was, until he spotted the person with whom he so desperately needed to speak, and started along the corridor.
He caught up with McCoy and gripped his bicep with possibly more force than he had meant.
"Doctor."
"Good God, Spock! You scared the shit outta me! And why, might I ask, are you giving me that God-damned death grip? I'm losing feeling in my hand, and for a doctor, that's not a good thing!"
"I apologise, Doctor McCoy," Spock said, trying to keep his voice level, "but I need to speak with you rather urgently about something. I am not feeling myself."
Now that Bones had had enough time to give Spock the once over, he was worried. There was an uncertain pallor to his skin, his heart rate and breathing were haywire, and his perfectly-kept hair was unkempt, as if he had been running his fingers through it. This was most disconcerting; he had never seen the Vulcan as much as twitch an eyebrow before.
"Doctor, please! I am requesting your help!" Spock could feel his control slipping away, his breath coming in short, desperate pants; his heart feeling as though it was attempting to escape his chest. Blood supply to his brain was short, and he could feel an increasing level of panic coursing through his veins.
"Woah, steady there. Sounds like you're having a panic attack, Spock. Now, focus on me, just my voice; got it?"
"Y-yes Doctor."
"Now, what I want you to do is take deep breaths. Focus on calming yourself down, do you understand?"
"I... understand." Spock attempted to slow his breathing, but to no avail. He could feel control leaving him; blackness was crowding into the sides of his vision, blocking out McCoy, but his voice echoed within his mind.
"Spock, for God's sake! Somebody help me carry him...!"
A long hiss, then... nothing.
X
Beep.
Beeeeeep.
"Captain! Sickbay calling sir!" Chekhov shouted urgently
"Yes, yes; hang on." Kirk's tone was unusually abrupt.
"Yup, this is Kirk; what happened now, Bones? This better not be another one of your tricks to getting me for my checkup-"
"Shut the hell up, Kirk. It's Spock."
Kirk suppressed a dry sob, worry filtering into him like poison. He dragged in a breath that felt like inhaling lead through a straw
"What's happened?" He demanded snappily, anger and worry laced in his tone.
"Just get down here, NOW!" Bones' eyes were wild. The connection cut off.
Silence echoed around the cabin. Kirk glanced around at his crew. Chekhov and Sulu both sported looks of equal shock and confusion, their jaws hanging open. Uhura looked wild, ready to kill. As he rose from his seat, she strode across to him.
"Captain, I wish to come with you." Her voice was firm, but shaking slightly.
He snapped his head around. "Uhura, no way am I letting you down there. You will not allow your feelings for him shadow his wellbeing or his judgement. Do I make myself absolutely clear? You. Stay. Here."
On these final words, Kirk strode forward and stood immediately over Uhura, his features crackling angrily. Uncharacteristically, she turned white as a sheet and nodded silently, tears brimming her eyes.
"U-Understood, Captain."
Kirk breathed out, suddenly aware of his outburst. All of the crew seemed to be avoiding his gaze.
"Sulu, you have the comms."
"A-aye, Captain."
It was with this, James Kirk turned and sprinted out of the room, as if every hound of hell was after him.
Hold on, Spock. I'm coming...
X
He could feel it before he opened his eyes. The bare sterility of the sickbay tickled the end of Spock's nose. With what felt like an inhuman amount of strength, he opened his eyes.
Wires trailed into his arms, infusing him with saline solution. A blood bag hung on the stand next to him, filled with his emerald-green blood. His head stung just above his temples. Grunting, he tried to reach, to feel, his injury but to no avail. He felt sapped of energy, but his emotions were now more acutely awake now than they had been for centuries. His Vulcan side seemed merely an echo compared to this. What a disgrace he was to his species.
Tears sprung immediately to his eyes, the edges of his vision blurring. He was emotionally compromised and he would never forgive himself for this; not now. Not. Ever. Hot tears ran down his cheeks, and he attempted to sit up. Hard hands pushed him down onto the bed, smoothing his sheets.
"Hey, shhh. Spock... are you okay?" Fingers delicately wiped the tears from his eyes. McCoy was there, looking down upon him, eyes filled with fear and concern.
Spock had never felt more isolated in his life. He flinched away from the doctor's touch and tried once more to sit up. Again, McCoy pushed him back down, this time more forcefully.
He looked on terrified, as the large Vulcan crumpled completely into some of the most desperate sobbing he had ever heard. Whipping out a hypo needle, he attempted to inject Spock with the sedative, but an iron grip held onto his wrist, pulling him in.
"Please, Doctor... h-help me. I need you to listen."
"Dammit, what is wrong with you?! I thought you Vulcans could keep a lid on your emotions?" Bones exclaimed exasperatedly, pulling away from the Vulcan's grip, his previous worry translating into irritation.
"I-I am emotionally... compromised, Doctor- a-and I am o-only half Vulcan, as I keep r-reminding you." Spock salvaged a touch of composure, drawing in a large, shuddering breath.
McCoy rolled his eyes. "Out with it, for God's sake Spock. I'm a damn doctor, not a counsellor, as I keep reminding everyone," he finished bitterly."This better not be the beginning of your Pon Farr; you know full well I'm not qualified for dealing with that."
"It is not that, Doctor; it is not scheduled to happen for another six months and five days. Plus, the opening stages do not harbour symptoms such as this."
"Well, spit it out then." the doctor snapped impatiently, "I have other patients to attend to."
"I believe," Spock began, being careful to phrase his words correctly, "that I am beginning to have- unknown emotional stirrings towards our Captain." He finished in a single breath. McCoy saw him visibly relax from this, as if a massive weight has been lifted. He laughed in disbelief.
"Really? That's all?! You're in love with Jim?" The doctor was almost ready to kill Spock for all this stress. Well, at least he wasn't as bad as Kirk for getting himself killed; quite the opposite, in fact.
"If that is the way that you interpret it, then I believe so, yes." Spock immediately flushed a bright green; a mingle of shame at his out of character behaviour, and his cowardice.
"How long?" McCoy enquired. Not that he needed to know, or even WANTED to know!
"From the start of this five-year trip, Doctor. I have in the past managed to keep myself preoccupied with other duties around the ship, but now..." Spock hesitated, trying to find the right words. His mind wandered...
Sweat dripped down his forehead as he lay on his bunk, thoughts of James Kirk fuelling his lust.
Spock started stroking himself, gently at first, but gradually increasing in pace, his body writhing in pleasure as he moaned out Jim's name, over and over.
"Well, well." someone chuckled. "Enjoying yourself there Spock?"
James.
A bright green flush saturated his skin, but he did not stop. Not now.
"Are you scared, Captain Kirk?" he growled lustfully. This was not like him. He should stop.
But...
"Oh, do continue Spock. You're getting to the best part. Now, touch yourself again, you dirty little Vulcan."
Spock closed his eyes and doubled his pace, the familiar knot curling in his lower abdomen. Without warning, he came, screaming James' name into the emptiness of his quarters.
"Oh God, yes... yes... JAMES!"
A sudden slap brought him back to reality, McCoy's face angry and flushed above his.
"HEY! I did NOT need to see that, Spock!
"See what, doctor?"
"You do realised that you just showed me what you were daydreaming about just then?" the doctor spat vehemently at Spock. "I do NOT need to know that you touch yourself while thinking of Jim..." his voice trailed off abruptly, and he looked towards the doorway, which a shadow had fallen across.
Spock looked up to see who exactly was there, and his heart jumped into his throat.
James.
Pheeeew, that took a lot of writing, and apologies if it's long! But finally a tiiny bit of smut at long last. :3
Dun-dun-duuuuuuunnnn! Jim finally knows about Spock's true feelings. How will he react?! Well, I think you all know already... or do you...?
Mwahahahaha. :3
As I said, I will attempt to update daily if I can, but it is near Christmas, so no hates if I don't, m'kay? :)
I hope you are enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it!
As always, reviews are welcomed. :3
Byee!