I'm so glad everyone liked this so much! BROFIST TO ALL THE PEWDIEPIE FANS OUT THERE! :D
And, to Lucas, who left the following comment:
"I will chop your balls off if you stop writing this"
I decided that because of this I should inform everyone I am, in fact, FEMALE. XD
Again, please REVIEW. I will only continue this if I receive REVIEWS. Though favorites and follows are GREATLY appreciated! I love them infact! Thank you ALL for REVIEWING, FOLLOWING, and FAVORITING. :D
The Last of Us belongs to Naughty Dog, the fanfiction is mine. Anything I create for this belongs to me and no one has permission to use it.
"CLICKER!"
Joel whirled around and shot the clicker right in the head, watching it fall and squirt expired blood all over itself and the floor of the abandoned house they'd found out in a wheat field.
"Thanks, Ellie." Joel breathed deeply before reloading. "That was the last one. I'm gonna go upstairs and check it for loot, you check down here."
"Ok."
They went their separate ways. Joel found two comic books, ammo, and a Harry Potter book. "I'm gonna git that girl to read some real writing." He muttered, taking it along with everything else.
"Holy shit! Joel, get down here! I found something awesome!"
Joel went down the stairs and found Ellie standing by an open cellar, proudly holding a box of unopened Twinkies.
"These things survived!" She grinned. "What are they?"
Joel grinned back. "Those, Ellie, are Twinkies. Also known as God's gift to man." He grabbed the box and then looked in the cellar and jumped down. "Damn, this place is stocked tight!" He looked at the shelves and shelves of food, canned and boxed. He wasn't all that sure on the boxed stuff, but everything else...it was good enough.
"Yeah, I know right?...Are ya...uh...proud of me?" Ellie jumped down after him, a bit hesitant with her words.
"Yeah, yeah I am Ellie." The gruff old man's face crinkled in a rare smile. "Pick what you wanna eat."
She nodded and went off, soon returning with a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli and canned peaches. Joel began to cook the ravioli-after getting a can for himself- on the small gas powered stove they'd found awhile back. While it cooked they both ate peaches.
Ellie once again found herself wondering on him and Tess. Did they ever share a meal like this? Ever get lucky like this? Then she wondered on Bill. Jackass from hell. She recalled he'd mentioned having a deal with Tess of some sort and wondered what it was between them. Once Joel handed her a bowl of ravioli and a spoon from the kitchen, she decided to ask once again.
"Hey Joooooeeelll-"
"The hell you want kid." Joel sighed, already guessing by the look on her face.
"How bouta' nother story, huh?"
He sighed again. "Bout what?"
"How'd ya meet Bill?" She scooped a bite of the ravioli in her mouth, finding it the most delicious thing she ever tasted, and chewed slowly.
"Through Tess." He talked to his food while eating it. "Guessin' you want the story don't you."
"Yep." She smiled, licking her fingers.
Joel again stared at the spoon ring and then to her and glared.
"Pleeeeeaaaassssee?" Ellie pouted, just like the girls did at school to get something extra to eat from the cooks.
"Gawd dammit kid." Joel nearly slammed his bowl on the ground and sighed. "Fine, fine, I'll tell ya'."
"Who the fuck is this guy, eh Tess?" Joel asked while eating an apple he'd gotten from a tree a few miles back.
"Bill. Family friend. Paranoid as they come, smart as hell, and grumpier than a Tasmanian Devil with a stick up his ass." She said, eating her own apple.
"Hm. Sounds friendly." He snorted. Two years smuggling with this woman and he'd still a lot to learn about her.
"Yeah. Let's go with that." She rolled her eyes as they reached a wall. "Alright Texas bend down."
Joel did so, she jumping the wall and lifting him. They both jumped on the ground after that. They were soon greeted by two runners and a clicker. Joel quickly took out the clicker while Tess shot one of the runners with an arrow. Seconds later, the other tackled her to the ground.
"Tess!" Joel's eyes widened in concern and he aligned the zombie in his sights, nearly firing until someone else took it out.
"Gawd damn it woman!" A grungy old man in an army coat with a bit much meat on his bones for a person living in these sort of times rushed out from an alley and helped Tess up. "You're a fuckin' idiot you know that?!"
Tess dusted herself off. "Hi, Bill."
Bill immediately turned to Joel and shoved him to the ground. "Who the hell are you?! Got any bites?!" He jabbed and poked him while searching until Joel flipped around and kicked the man in the chest, launching him into the wall.
"Tess, what the hell is this guys problem?!" Joel instinctively had his gun aimed at Bill. Tess rolled her eyes and helped him up.
"This is Joel, Bill. The guy I told ya about during our last drop off." She walked over and made Joel lower his gun. "Joel, this is Bill. He's fuckin' nuts."
Bill waved, breathing heavily. "Hi, jackass."
Joel nodded. "Same to you, ass hat."
Tess rolled her eyes again. "Quit bickering. Bill, there any more infected around this area?" Bill shook his head. "Nah, those were the only ones. But we should get in-just in case."
Joel just huffed and put his pack back on, which had fallen in the tussle. Bill then led them through the abandoned town, telling them about traps here or there, always muttering to himself about improvements to be made and walls to be built.
"Does he always chatter ta himself like that?" Joel whispered to Tess, who chuckled lightly.
"Yeah. He ain't got no one here but himself most the time."
"That'll drive a man insane." Joel muttered.
"Joel, he never was sane to begin with."
Bill led them half across town to an old catholic church. Joel stared up at the high roofed building, fleetingly remembering going to church with Sarah. She'd always wear a blue flowered dress her mother had made her before she died-she'd let down the hem every year. She never would throw that thing away... Joel shook his head, ripping himself from his thoughts and entering the church with Tess and Bill. There were several disorderly shelves sitting about stacked with food, pills, and other supplies.
"Damn Bill, you got a gold mine here!" Joel hadn't seen this much supplies in one place in years.
"Ya could say that." Bill said as he nailed a board over a window. "You could also call it a hunter's paradise. Bastards always try to break into my town-infected chase them off though. Always make sure to keep a few around for self defense."
Joel swallowed, thinking of his past. Tess gave him a look that said not to mention a single thing about anything he did before. Joel looked at the weapons all around the room and mentally agreed.
"Ya ever deal with any of those shit heads, Joel?" Bill asked, taking a can of peaches out and opening it, splitting it between the three of them.
"...Yeah...I dealt with them." Joel thanked him for the peaches and quickly ate them. "They ain't kind people."
Bill snorted. "Ain't no one a kind person these days. All the kind ones are dead."
Joel blinked and decided to just stare outside the window as Tess and Bill talked. He slightly listened, finding out they were speaking about a trade with some guys down in Boston. Pills for ration cards or something. At that, he began to listen more.
"I got all the pills, what I need is ammo." Bill said in a growling tone. "I can't use any of that ration card shit. No quarantine zone until Boston from here."
Tess nodded. "I can getcha ammo, Bill. What I need is the ration cards. That's why I'm askin' you to agree to that."
Bill furrowed his brow. "What the hell you want ration cards for?"
Tess was silent. Joel turned to her, realizing what she was suggesting-something she'd been hinting at for the last year. Bill seemed to realize it to.
"Oh no, no Tess, you're," he scoffed, "you're sayin' you wanna settle down? Ain't life taught you a damn thing?!"
Tess clenched the tin that contained her uneaten peaches. "I don't wanna settle down, I wanna have a stable business."
"What for? He knock your dumb ass up?" Bill jerked his thumb to Joel, who immediately began blushing out of embarrassment. Tess slapped his hand away and then smacked him upside the head.
"No you idiot! I been on both sides-I been in the business longer than you and I know what goes on. Hiding out in a little place, getting your name known, having people come to you. Yeah, it's nice. But you don't got supplies right at the ready-you don't got nothin' but your wits and skill."
"What's so bad about that? I'm doin' alright!" Bill exclaimed, gesturing to his superior arsenal.
"I don't give a fuck if you're doin' alright Bill, what you're doing takes constant surveillance and work and is twice as dangerous as workin' from a quarantine zone."
"So?"
"I'm fuckin' tired, Bill! And lazy!" She nearly threw the peaches out the window but stopped herself in time, shoving them into Joel's hands. "Here Texas eat up."
"Tess I already-"
"Eat. The. Damn. Fruit."
"Yes ma'am." Joel knew not to mess with Tess when she got the pissed off mother tone. Bill laughed.
"Boy she got you pussy whipped, don't she?" He smirked. That is, until Tess knocked him off the crate he was sitting on. He howled in pain and held his hand to his cheek. "Dammit, Tess!"
Tess took of her pack and silently stole some cans of food and fresh fruit. "Shut up Bill. We're going to Boston, we're getting ammo and we're getting ration cards. Give us the shit you want to be taken down and we'll be on our damn way out of your little insane house of a town."
Bill blinked, frozen there for a moment. Slowly and surely he did stand though, retreating to a back room and returning with a couple bags of pills, which he handed off to Joel.
"You carry 'em."
Joel blinked. "I don't wanna carry them."
Tess smacked his arm. "Carry them, Joel."
"Yes, ma'am." Joel loaded the medicine into his pack and put it back on his bag. "We leavin' now?"
"Yeah. Good seein' ya again Bill. Be back in 'bout a week."
Bill nodded. "You still remember the route out?"
"Hell yeah. I'm not getting chased by a pack of runners again." Tess inhaled deeply and tugged at Joel's sleeve, signaling him to follow her. They both walked out of the church and took the route out Tess remembered.
On to Boston.
"So Bill always was nuts." Ellie thought aloud, slowly eating and savoring the Twinkie Joel had given her while telling the story.
"Yeah. Not as nuts as he is now, but he was nuts."
"There was so much more stuff back then, wasn't there?" She licked crème from her lips.
"Hells yeah. There's still plenty now-easier to find natural stuff- but then it was easier pickin'." Joel dusted the Twinkie from his hands, licked his fingers and stretched. He then set up his sleeping bag and got in it.
"...Would we ever run out of food?" Ellie now looked worried, thinking about the future.
"Nah. There's always natural stuff. Vegatables, fruits. Animals. If stuff ever stopped being manufactured then we could all just go hick it out in the woods, live off the land. Like the Indians."
"The what?"
Joel smiled a bit. "A story for another night, girlie."
"Oh c'mon."
"Nope."
"Please!"
"Nope."
"Jooeeeeellll!"
"Good night." Joel chuckled as Ellie groaned and turned over, quickly falling asleep.