A/N: Hm, seems I need more words to be noticed. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Take note that the chapters will almost all be in First Person POV, since I need practice. The Prologue obviously came from Ed's perspective, and so will this one. The perspective may change per chapter, you can see which perspective it'll be from after the author's note.

Plus I have a very inconsistent update schedule (Actually it doesn't exist) so sorry if these update come in real slowly. Also, you might notice my attempt at writing some kinda messed up version of the failed human transmutation and how I miserably failed. *Hides in Emo Corner*

…o0-EDWARD ELRIC-0o…

This guy's house was MUCH bigger than I thought. I knew he was a rich kid considering he had his own 'plane', but seriously? The thing was three or four floors high, for Pete's sake!

Tamaki strode into the house casually, leading Al and I inside. It was even bigger indoors than out!

"Welcome to our humble home!" Tamaki proclaimed. "You two will be staying here for a while until you decide you would like another place to stay."

I glanced around, taking in the huge environment that was supposed to be a home. "It's… big." I muttered. Big, was an understatement, to say the least. I shook my head, sighing in defeat. "Gah, m'tired…"

Tamaki leaned down to eye level with me (annoyingly, I wish I could just smack that overly-cheery, grin off his pretty boy face-) "Ah, the jet-lag must be getting to you, I'll lead you to your room." Tamaki gave me that annoying smile, and when we got to our room, I collapsed on the bed, and fell asleep.

…o0o…

I ran up the hill, chest fluttering with satisfaction, and I clutched the little metal figure in my hands as I spotted my mother in her garden, holding a basket of vegetables and fruits. Hearing my sma- ahem, normal, footsteps approaching, she glanced up from a ripe tomato, and looked over at me with her soft, beautiful gray eyes, chestnut hair tied neatly over her shoulder. She offered me a warm smile as I came to a stop, a childish grin planted on my face as I offered her the little toy I made.

She blinked in surprise, looking over the toy, before giving me a pat on the head. My heart raced and filled with approval. "Did you make this?" I nodded happily, and she smiled at me. "Now that's my little man!" She put down her basket, pulling me into a hug. It was warm… and, nice. I loved it. "But…"

But? I blinked in confusion, but didn't push away from her, tensing up as I felt something drip onto my back… unbearably hot. The scent of iron replacing the comforting herbs, and my eyes widened. "You couldn't fix me."

What I thought to have been my mother's gentle hands suddenly dug into my back, and I let out a startled yelp, as blood spilled from her mouth. I pulled away, staring horrified at her- no, it. "M-mom?!" No. that wasn't her. It was a monster.

Its skin was charred, coal black hair was a mess on its unnaturally twisted head. Bones jutted out of its ripped open chest, organs moving, heart pounding, all in full view. Its jaw unhinged, and let out a raspy gasp, empty black eyes stared at me. "Ed… ward… couldn't fix… mama…"

It's let out a strangled gasp, reaching a mangled, twisted arm out in an attempt to live, before a loud SNAP, and it fell to the bloodied ground, dead.

Something tightened in my chest, and I stumbled back from the monstrosity… and screamed.

…o0o…

"Elric, wake up!" My eyes shot open, only to be met with violet ones staring straight down on me. Where did th- ACK! I rubbed my sore head tiredly, and glared at Tamaki. "Why the hell are you in here?!"

Tamaki was now sprawled out on the floor, holding his head in agony after I accidently head butted him, trying to sit up. "Owwww…. Elric! That hurt!"

I shook my head in an attempt to clear the ache, but only succeeded in making it worse. With a frustrated sigh, I sent the teenager an annoyed glare. "Ah suck it up princess, got a good reason as to why you're in my room at this ungodly hour?"

"P-princess?!" He spluttered, wide eyed, still holding his – rather red now… - head. "And it's six in the morning; get up if you don't want to be late!"

I let out a low growl, throwing off the covers and slinging my legs over the edge. "Fine, fine…" I stood up, stretching as satisfying pops rang out from my stiff spine. There was a long pause, as I noticed Suoh giving me a weird look…. Staring…

I followed his gaze to my automail limbs, on full display what with my only attire was a black tank top and boxers. The metal was securely drilled into my skin and bones, cold metal met flesh, where several pink-red scars marred the skin. Damn that had hurt… I scowled, quickly grabbing the gaping teenager by the scruff of his neck, and tossed him out of my room. "GET OUT."

…o0o…

I was rather annoyed to find Alphonse downstairs with Suoh, happily eating away and snickering at my, now rather red, face.

"Suoh, how many times do I have to tell your minions I don't want them dressing me?" I growled at Suoh, plopping down in a seat next to Al.

Suoh waved it aside, an overly cheery smile on his face. "Oh don't mind them, they do it out of habit."

I raised an eyebrow, grabbing a piece of toast. "What's got you so happy…?" Do I even want to know?

Suoh grinned, eyes sparkling with a childish excitement. "Call me Tamaki! And today's the day I'm starting a new club!"

Al perked up at this, finally looking away from his very full plate. "Then call us Ed and Al, what kind of club is it?"

And that's how we ended up listening to a half hour explanation about this guy's Host Club, which lasted the rest of breakfast and the entire car ride to the school.

Damn it Alphonse.

…o0o…

"… Do I have to?"

"Yup."

"But WHY?"

"Because it'll help you with your social issues Ed~!"

"I'm not socially awkward!"

"When it comes to kids our age, you kinda are, brother."

I let out a defeated sigh, plopping down onto a couch in the music room. It was fairly big, with tables and chairs dotting the area, making it seem nice and comfy inside, like home… no, don't think about that! Shaking my head, I examined the other occupants of the room. Tamaki sat straight across from me, with that annoying, womanizer smile the Colonel Bastard had whenever he tried to make a move on a girl. Al sat next to me, seemingly dead tired from the long, boring day of classes, and was
allowed a bit of time to rest. There was this small, blond kid, surprisingly shorter than me despite being seventeen (VICTORY! TAKE THAT MUSTANG YOU PYROMANIAC BASTARD WITH A GOD COMPLEX!), and was clutching a little pink stuffed rabbit. The guy right behind him was a FRICKIN' GIANT, at age seventeen as well; with short black hair, calm gray eyes, and stood well over six feet. There were a pair of twins there too, same age as me, with matching fiery red hair, and mischievous hazel eyes. There
was another guy next to Tamaki, with jet black hair, glasses, and was just a little taller than Tamaki, and the two were both sixteen.

The tall guy was Takeshi Morinozuka, often referred to as Mori, and the shorty (heheh) was Mitskuni Huninozuka, often called Honey. The twins were Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, and after a bit of confusion, I managed to tell them apart easily. Four-eyes was Kyoya Ootori, co-founder of the Host Club, and the Manager.

And for some reason, Tamaki thought Al and I should join this ridiculous cast for some stupid reason. Although, maybe this wasn't too bad of an idea, I could get some info out of the girls here-

"Will you join us Eddy-chan?" Mitskuni chirped curiously.

My eye twitched, annoyed at the nickname. "… don't call me that, and I'll consider it."

"GREAT! Welcome to the club Ed!" Tamaki exclaimed loudly, jumping up from his seat. Al jumped at the sudden outburst, and obviously started, accidentally fell off the couch with a loud yelp.

Al got up, groaning and rubbing his sore head. He quickly glanced from Tamaki, then gave me a surprised look. "You actually joined…?"

"Against my will." I muttered.

"Perfect! Both Elrics are now official members of the Ouran Host Club!"

Damn it Tamaki.

…o0o…

I was completely lost. No, not physically lost somewhere, I just didn't know HOW THE HELL I'M SUPPOSED TO ENTERTAIN A GIRL. Normally, I'd just go take Winry out to Rush Valley and let her get a bunch of tools and whatever she wanted and drain my wallet, but I couldn't do that here, since these girls were complete idiots.

The petite girl in front of me, Kyoko Sasagawa, shifted slightly, giving me a curious look as I just sat there, panicking and having no idea what to do. Meanwhile, Al was on the other side of the room, deep in a conversation with a few girls, who seemed really interested in his little stories.

I eyed the girls carefully. They better not do anything funny to Al-

"Um, are you alright?" I blinked, glancing at Kyoko awkwardly.

"O-oh, sorry, I'm not used to this kind of stuff." I paused, thinking a bit. What do idiot girls like…? A quick glance around the room, and I saw Mori standing silently as he watched girls swoon over Honey's childish nature, calling it "cute". The twins were… what the hell? Hikaru seemed to be purring something to Kaoru, stroking his chin and running a hand through his brother's hair- okay, no. Kyoya seemed to be writing in a notebook, working on something, and a bunch of girls asked him questions, and simply watched him work. Tamaki… he seemed to be charming the girls, in a way, complimenting them, speaking in poetic verses…

Yeah no, I'm not doing that... Wait…

I let a smirk creep up onto my face, as I gazed at the now very confused girl. "You know... I suppose I'm not one to talk a lot about myself, but," I gave her a grin, making sure to give her a mischievous look, the one Al claimed meant 'You're thinking something stupid again, don't go blowing anything up!' "You mind telling me about yourself? You seem like quite the interesting character~!"

…o0-One Week Later-0o…

I held back a groan, rubbing my aching head tiredly as I took my position next to Tamaki, Al on the other side, with Kyoya behind him, the twins positioned on the right, and Mitskuni and Takeshi on the left.

Tamaki send me a worried glance. "You alright? I wouldn't want one of our little kittens sick on only our second week of hosting."

I huffed, smacking him over the head. "I'm fine, idiot, and don't call me that, I'm not small!" Because I'm not; my height is perfectly normal for my age. Hell, I'm taller than Mitskuni, who's two years older than me! So I am NOT short!

Al sighed, giving me an exhausted look. I could practically hear his voice ringing in my head. 'Just go with it Ed.'

I scowled, shaking my head in exasperation. Taking out my pocket watch, I gave it a quick glance. Don't Forget Oct 3 11. I stared at the reminder, a frown settling on my face. 1911. Apparently here in Japan, they used a slightly different calendar, and it was 2017 here. 2:27. Three minutes until the idio- ahem, girls, started coming in.

The door started opening, startling us a little. Although I shouldn't be surprised, sometimes they came a little early. A boy poked his head in, big glasses perched on his nose. He wore a worn, brown sweater over a white buttoned up shirt, along with baggy dark brown pants, and sneakers. His brown hair was tangled and messy, and I could see big, brown eyes staring at us curiously as random rose petals flew about. Where the hell did those come from anyways?!

"Welcome~!" Everyone greeted, but I stayed silent, staring at the disheveled bo- wait. I blinked, narrowing my eyes. No, this was a girl. It wasn't obvious, but years of being paranoid does give you benefits, I guess. One glance at Al, and I could tell he figured it out too. I quirked an eyebrow and him, and he merely grinned. Let's not tell the others and see how long it takes them to figure it out.

The poor girl scrambled back, accidently shutting the door behind her, as she yelped in surprise at the… admittedly, strange sight of eight boys positioned in ways for a dramatic effect. Unfortunately I was one of them. "Th-this is a 'Host Club'?!"

I looked her over one more time. Isn't she in Al and I's homeroom class…?

"Oh wait, it's just a boy." Hikaru stated bluntly. I internally laughed. It'll be interesting waiting for them to figure this out.

"Wow, so it seems we have a commoner here." Kyoya said, and his eyebrows rose slightly. He glanced over to the twins, Al, and me. "Isn't he in your class?"

I shrugged, and Al nodded. "Well yeah, but he's shy. He doesn't act very sociably so we don't really know much about him." The twins said in unison. It's so creepy how they do that…

Kyoya blinked, looking slightly confused, before allowing a smirk to slip onto his face. Bingo. "Well that wasn't very nice." He looked over at the girl, smiling. "Welcome to the Ouran Host Club… Mister Honor Student."

The girl, Haruhi, I reminded myself, squirmed a bit under the staring, and Al gave her a sympathetic look. 'Sorry Miss Fujioka.'

Tamaki doesn't notice, and quickly sits up in his chair, violet eyes wide. "Wait, honor student? So that means you're that commoner Haruhi Fujioka! The exceptional Honor Student we're heard about!" No shit, Sherlock.

Haruhi's vain attempts at opening the door stopped, and she glanced over her shoulder at us. "You've heard about me…?"

Kyoya gave her his famous poker face. "Why you're infamous, it's not every day a commoner gains entrance into our Academy. You must have an audacious nerve to get here as an honor student, Mister Fujioka."

"Well… thank you, I guess." Haruhi's eye twitched in slight annoyance at being called a 'commoner', and I didn't blame her. These damn rich people always did make a big deal over small thing like this.

But Tamaki didn't notice Haruhi's fading patience, and smiled brightly at her, quickly getting up and walking towards her, but I reached out and grabbed the collar of his jacket, effectively pulling him back from embarrassing the poor kid. But of course, he just HAD to grab my arm, pull me forward, and loudly say, "Eddy here is an honor student as well!"

"I am?"

Al shifted from foot to foot nervously, shrinking back and giving me an apologetic look, mouthing 'Sorry' before disappearing behind everyone else. Alphonse Elric you traitor!

Tamaki gave me a pat on the head, before dragging me along with him towards Haruhi, and I mouthed. 'I tried' towards the poor girl. She started scooting away, as Tamaki dramatically draped an arm over her shoulder and mine. "You two poor commoners-" I am going to kill you Suoh. "-must
be quite brave to have come into the famous Ouran Academy-"

"Suoh, I swear, I am going to rip your legs off and stick em' onto your head if you don't shut up." I growled, trying to remove his hands from around my shoulders, but he instead tightened his grip.

Tamaki laughed, practically strangling me now. "Of course Eddy-"

"I can and will kick your ass if you damn rich people keep calling me that."

"-but little Haruhi here, along with you and Alphonse have shown that even poor people can get into our unique, private academy- Oof!"

I sharply elbowed him in the gut with my automail, and slipped away back with the other Hosts, who were watching the display in a rather amused way. I found Al peeking out from behind Kyoya, and he gulped at the sight of me. "Um… sorry I didn't help you Brother?"

"How could you leave me like that Al?" I hissed, pissed that my own brother abandoned me with that weirdo. Al held up his hands in surrender not looking the least bit guilty.

"In the Host Club, it's every man for himself."

"But I'm your brother!"

"We welcome you poor man to our world of BEAUTY!" Al and I glanced over at Tamaki, who was wandering off into his little fantasy world while Haruhi started scooting away towards the door.

"I'm out of here…" Yes. Save yourself before you're in too deep. Run girl, RUN.

Mitskuni quickly grabbed her arm, dragging the girl back. "Heeey! Haru-chan, you must be like a superhero or something! That's so cool!" Oh shit, she's in too deep in if Mitskuni is giving nicknames already.

Haruhi sighed, getting frustrated with the situation. "I'm not a hero, I'm an honor student…" She took note of what he had just called her, "AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING HARU-CHAN?!"

Startled, Honey jumped back with a wail, and quickly ran back, nearly knocking Al over before hiding behind Mori. Tamaki blinked, placing a finger on his chin curiously. "I never thought the new scholar… would be so openly gay." What the fuck?

Haruhi seemed just as confused, "Openly… what?"

Tamaki chuckled, as bright sparkled danced around him. "So tell me what kind of guy's you're into." Oh shi-

"The strong, silent type?" He asked, gesturing over towards Mori. "The boy-lolita?" Honey glanced up at the mention of his title, tears on the brim of his large, brown eyes. "How about the mischievous type?" The twins snapped into position, winking at the poor not-a-boy-but-a-girl. "How about the cool type?" Kyoya merely gave her a nod, smirking. "The polite, sympathetic type?" Al glanced around, before realizing that was supposed to be him, and waved at her, quietly mouthing 'Sorry but now you're stuck with us.' "Or the Little Devil?" The… what? 'Little Devil'? Well screw you too Suoh, I ain't short! Well I don't go looking for trouble- ah… well, I never really avoided it. Oh well. I gave her a grin.

Haruhi squirmed uncomfortably, before Tamaki bent down, gently stroking her chin. "Or maybe you're into guys like me, the Princely Type…?"

"GAK!" She quickly pulled back in surprise, stumbling back. She accidently bumped into a pedestal, holding an expensive looking vase. It shook, and started falling, and Haruhi gasped, making a quick attempt at grabbing it… but the vase shattered against the floor, and I managed to cover up a small flinch at the crash. Al quickly ran over to her, and I followed, quickly pushing her away from the sharp pieces.

"Don't get too close, you might get hurt!" Al quickly checked over the girl for injuries. "Are you alright?"

Haruhi blinked, slowly nodding. "Thanks, I'm fine."

I eyed the vase. "Don't worry, I don't think it was too expensive…"

"Oh, now you've done it commoner!" Hikaru exclaimed, glancing at the broken pieces.

"We were gonna auction that vase off starting at eight million yen!" Kaoru added rather cheerfully.

Damn it Kaoru.

Haruhi froze, eyes wide with panic. "Wh-what?! Eight million yen?!" She groaned, clear denial in her voice as she desperately tried counting that on her fingers, but to no avail. "H-how many thousand yen is that… How many thousands are in a million…?"

Ah, poor kid. I scooted over to Tamaki, tugging on his sleeve a little. "Hey, can't Al or I just fix that thing with our alchemy…?" I whispered. Tamaki blinked in slight surprise.

"I don't doubt you could, but it would arouse a lot of suspicion if you did, besides…" He gave Haruhi a curious smile, "I'd like to see how this plays out."

Al was supplying her with the calculations she needed, but that wasn't helping her mood in any positive way, much to his obliviousness. She straightened herself, glancing from Al to the twins nervously. "I-I'm going to have to pay you back…"

The twins glanced at each other, eyebrows raised. "With what money? You cant even afford a school uniform."

"What's with that grubby outfit anyways?" This earned them both a slap to the back of their heads by Alphonse, who gave them both disapproving looks.

Kyoya knelt down, picking up one of the pieces with a smirk. "Well, what do you think we should do Tamaki?"

Haruhi paled, visibly shaking as she stared worriedly at Tamaki, who sat down, crossing his legs. "There's a famous saying you may have heard Fujioka, 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do.'" He looked up, violet eyes gleaming. "Since you have no money you shall pay with your body." He pointed at her, with a confident smile on his face. "That means starting today, you will be the Host Club's dog."

I quirked an eyebrow at the phrasing. Dog, huh? Haruhi stood there, staring off, as Tamaki waved a hand in front of her face, confused.

And then she toppled over in shock.

…o0o…

"-can't keep a cat! I try telling him over and over, but he somehow always kept finding the things." I growled, remembering the numerous times Al managed to find a stray, and try hiding it in his armor. Of course now, he had a body and couldn't do that… But those damn puppy eyes were more effective now than ever.

One of the girls giggled, - Hiyori Iki, was it? – glancing over at Al. "You seem to care about him a lot."

I huffed at that. 'Care' seemed a bit of an understatement. "Of course, he's my baby brother, I gotta look after him, you know."

Kyoko nodded. "I understand, although I have an older brother, sometimes I feel im the older sibling considering he's so… Extreme."

I laughed at that. "Sometimes I question if Al feels the same way about me."

Over the rather loud chattering of the other Hosts and guests, I heard a door open, accompanied by footsteps. I glanced over at the entrance, where a very disheveled Haruhi was walking in with bags filled with snacks. I raised an eyebrow at the heavy bags. I noticed Al get up to walk over to her. He seemed to be offering to help her with those.

"He seems to be very kind." Hiyori noted, staring at Al.

I smiled. "Kind doesn't even cut it, he's gotta be one of the nicest people I know, along with my mom, and a few friends of mine." I paused, remembering the friendly faces appearing in my head. "One of them is… a close friend, always over the top, biggest family man I've ever met. Another is a rather… strict woman, but she's like a second mom to me."

Kyoko smiled at me, brown eyes sparkling. "I see, they must be very important to you."

"Hey… Wait a minute, what is this?" We all looked back to Tamaki, who was staring at some Instant coffee rather stupidly.

I sighed, getting up. "Let's see what this is about…"

…o0o…

"Um, Mister Tamaki, it's just coffee." Al supplied, a baffled look painted onto his face.

Tamaki examined the container curiously, as I took a place next to Al. "What, never seen coffee before?" Al quickly elbowed me, sending me that look.

Tamaki shook his head. "No no, it's just I've never seen this kind before… is this the type that's already ground?"

Haruhi frowned, eyeing the container. "What do you mean…? It's Instant Coffee."

The girls across from us both tilted their heads curiously. "It's… 'Instant'?" I internally rolled my eyes. She just said that, idiot. Why is this such a big deal…?

"Woah!" Tamaki gasped, "I've heard of this, this is commoner's coffee!" Wait wha- "You can just add hot water!"

"I didn't know there was such a thing…" One girl commented, and just then I noticed just how many had gathered around; at least a dozen more than before.

"So it's true then, commoners don't even have enough time to grind their own coffee beans!"

"Yeah, cause we actually have lives with jobs." I muttered to myself.

Al quirked an eyebrow at it, obviously confused as Kyoya, who suddenly appeared behind us, commented, "Well, commoners are pretty smart."

"100 grams for 300 yen?" Hikaru questioned, glancing at the container.

"That's a lot cheaper than what we normally pay." Kaoru muttered.

Haruhi glared at them, clearly annoyed. "I'll go back and buy something else! S'cuse me for not buying you guys expensive coffee, geez."

I sighed, rubbing my head. All this over coffee… Suddenly Tamaki raised his hand, stopping Haruhi. "No, I'll keep it." The idio- ahem, girls gasped, shocked at this as if someone had said Polaris was the brightest star, when really, it was Sirius, which was just farther away so it didn't appear so. Common knowledge!

"I'm going to give it a try." Tamaki declared, standing up, causing another gasp to erupt from the girls. "I WILL DRINK THIS COFFEE!" And then they started clapping, many gaping in awe at Tamaki.

Al stared for a moment, before nearly choking on his attempts to hide his own laughter. "All this over coffee?"

I put a hand on his shoulder, staring at the clapping crowd. "You have read my mind…"

…o0o…

Everyone watched closely, eyes wide with curiously as Haruhi prepared the coffee. Al and I stayed back, having seen this done many times before in the cafeteria back in Eastern HQ. Al frowned at the display, shaking his head, muttering something along the lines of, "Why are we doing this…?"

I leaned against the couch, observing as Tamaki swept a girl out from under her feet, catching her, and saying something flirtatious to her, causing all the other girls to squeal in delight. How that happens, I don't know. Women are truly puzzling creatures.

Another girl stayed behind, sipping her tea quietly, seeming to ignore the show completely. She suddenly started chuckling, for some reason, and Al and I threw her questioning looks. She didn't seem to notice, and I heard her say to herself, "Oh Tamaki… now you're taking the joke too far…" Al raised an eyebrow curiously, glancing over at me, confused. "You probably won't be able to stomach that crap, you don't have to drink it just because he bought it."

And people call me rude… I cleared my throat loudly, and she jumped slightly, shooting me a surprised look. Great, that look on her face is priceless! "Hey lady," I growled, "that was pretty rude there. I don't know if you're blind or something, but he seemed genuinely interested in it. 'Sides…" I glanced at Al, who seemed to be giving me the death glare, like, 'Shut up now or things might go downhill for us…' But he can't fool me, I know he's thinking this girl needs to be set straight too. "I drink it almost every day."

She quickly returned to her previous position, eyeing me carefully. After a moment, she visibly relaxed. "Oh, don't mind me, I was just talking to myself."

'Was just talking to yourself'? Then why the hell did you look at me like that? I was about to answer, when Al quickly grabbed the collar of by jacket from behind, effectively cutting off my air supply, and dragged me away. I squirmed, gasping for air, and he eventually let me go, frowning in disapproval. "Ed, why did you say that?"

I coughed slightly, regaining my breath. "Well did you hear what she said?"

Al frowned, crossing his arms. "No, but I heard enough." He stole a glance at the girl once more, shaking his head. "We don't need anyone suspicious of us already! Just… try being a bit more careful with your words, we don't need any more enemies."

Don't need any more enemies…? Al… I should be the one telling you to be careful, not the other way around… I quickly shook my head in defeat, "… Fine."

…o0o…

"So then he had this nightmare, that made him bolt right up out of bed!" Hikaru finished his story teasingly, as his guests stared at him with big eyes. I noticed Kaoru squirming uncomfortably, cheeks a bright shade of pink.

"H-Hikaru! Don't tell them that story!" His hazel eyes started to tear up, and look of betrayal flashing across his face. "I-I asked you not to tell anyone that…" He whimpered slightly, pulling away into his own defensive little ball. "Why... why are you so mean to me…?"

I raised an eyebrow at the little show. Sure, it's was an act, but they were good, believable, in fact.

Hikaru blinked, noticing his brother's 'distress'. "I'm sorry Kaoru…" The girls huddled together, staring, taking in every second of the scene unfolding before them. Hikaru carefully cupped his brother's chin, gently pulling his gaze up so that they were facing each other, eye to eye… a little too closely… "I didn't mean to upset you…" he whispered quietly, "But you were so adorable when it happened… I... I just had to tell them. I'm sorry…"

Kaoru swallowed back his tears, glancing away in hopes his brother wouldn't notice. "I… forgive you…"

The girls squealed, faces red, breaking my eardrums as they half-yelled, "Eek! I've never seen brotherly love quite like that!"

Haruhi, I noticed, walked past them, giving the twins a disbelieving look, before quickly refilling the girl's tea.

"S-so, Edward, was it?" The new girl in front of me asked.

I glanced back at her, relaxing back into my seat. I crossed my legs, leaning back in my chair, a smirk sneaking onto my face. "Yeah, and your name's Shiemi, right?"

The girl nodded shyly. "Y-yes…"

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Takeshi and walk in, with Mitskuni on his shoulders, seemingly half-asleep. Kyoya was off by the doorway with Haruhi, seeming to be talking about something along the lines of, 'He's a prodigy.' And 'Silent and protective as ever.' Suddenly Mitsuki talked Haruhi, and chirped up, lively as ever. She seemed a bit dazed, and shook her head at Mitskuni, and then again when he held up his stuffed rabbit, Usa-Chan. She paused, looking at the rabbit hesitantly, before smiling at him. Mitskuni blinked, staring up at Haruhi curiously. Ah, Bingo, he got it.

Al walked over to me, earning a few curious glances from the girls. "Tamaki said he wants to see us, come on."

…o0o…

"You're going to have to work hard if you're going to pay off that debt, my little nerd." Tamaki said, eyeing Haruhi. He bent down, blowing into her ear, startling the poor girl.

She clutched Usa-chan closely to her chest, and reached up to touch the tingling part on her neck Tamaki just breathed on. She glanced over her shoulder, brown eyes slightly distrusting. "… Please don't do that again."

I scowled, walking up to him. "What the hell is going on here?" This guy knows no limits, does he?

Tamaki gasped, scrambling away. "Mommy! Eddy said a bad word!" Kyoya simply raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, much to my amusement.

Haruhi sighed, scooting away a little. She looked over at Al, and the two seemed to engage in a silent conversation.

Regaining his composure, Tamaki shook his head, taking in Haruhi's messy appearance. "You need a makeover, or no girl's gonna look twice at you."

Haruhi's eye twitched, "Yeah, well… I'm not trying to get girls to look at me."

Tamaki blinked in surprise at Haruhi, seemingly shocked she doesn't care. "Are you kidding me? It's the most important thing!" He took out a rose out of nowhere, holding it up, "You have to learn to be a gentleman to please the ladies." Sparkles flew about, and- OH GOSH HE'S JUST AS BAD AS ARMSTRONG- "Like me~"

"I just don't think it's all the important." Tamaki froze, staring at her. "Why should I care about appearances an labels, anyway? I mean… all that really matters is what's on the inside, right? … I don't even understand why you even have a Host Club like this."

"It's a cruel reality, isn't it?" Haruhi groaned, looking at Tamaki with an annoyed glint in her eyes. "It's not often God creates a perfect being like mwah~" He said dramatically, flicking his hair. "Beautiful both inside and out~"

"Say what…?" I groaned. Just then, I realized I had said that out loud, but Tamaki ignored that, and continued.

"I understand how you feel, that not everyone is as blessed as I am-" What the hell, Tamaki? "-You must console yourself, otherwise, how else would you go on living?"

By this point, I drowned out his long-ass one-sided conversation, having heard it before… unfortunately. Al seems to have done the same, as he was quickly backing away from the idiot.

I glanced around for any onlookers, and seeing none, I scooted over to Al, whispering, "Find anything yet?"

Al shook his head, "Not yet, you?"

I sighed. So far nothing but a bunch of gossiping about who's dating who, Kick the Can, cake, and bunnies. "No, I got nothing… damn, this'll be harder than I thought-"

"Hey, what're ya talkin' about?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin as one of the twins slapped a hand on my back. Hikaru and Kaoru looked at both of us curiously, and in a – creepy – Identical eyes wide.

I quickly shoved Kaoru's arms off me, letting an annoyed scowl spread onto my face. "If we were whispering, it means it's not any of your damn business!"

Hikaru twirled a strand of Al's hair between his fingers, eyebrows raised. "Well we were just curious…" Al gently removed Hikaru's hand, shaking his head.

"Sorry Hikaru, but it's personal…" The twins pouted, giving us the oh-so-hated Puppy Eyes. Oh no, don't tell me they're gonna-

"-But most of all Haruhi, you must remember how effective a glance from the side can be!"

All four of us looked over at Tamaki, who had perched his head in his palm, glancing over at Haruhi, who suddenly looked up, exclaiming, "Oh, I got it!"

Tamaki perked up, violet eyes sparkling. "Oh? Did I strike a cho-"

"Obnoxious!" Tamaki froze, eyes wide in surprise. He dragged himself over to the corner, staring blankly at a random mushroom, and poking it. Ah yes, the classic Emo Corner.

"Uh… I'm sorry Tamaki-senpai…"

The twins laughed, both placing a hand on one Haruhi's shoulders. "You're a hero alright!" Her eye twitched in annoyance, and she swatted the twin's hands away.

"Sorry Tamaki-senpai, but I do admit, your lecture did strike a small chord in me…"

I quickly shook my head at her, waving my hands, silently saying, 'Don't do it, or you'll get dragged into the club too.' Unfortunately, it was too late. Tamaki stood up, roses flying about. He turned around to face us, a big smile on his face. "It did? Well…" He held out a hand, "Let me teach you more, my friend."

I let out a whistle, admittedly shocked at how quickly he recovered. "Well that was fast," Al muttered.

Kaoru blinked, staring at Tamaki, baffled. "Boss…?"

"Call me King!" Tamaki said in a sing-song voice, still somehow physically sparkling.

"You can teach him all the basics of Hosting…"

"…But he's not going to get very far with the ladies if he doesn't look the part." Hikaru finished, walking around so that he faced Haruhi. "He's not exactly Host Club material, but… maybe if we took off his glasses it'll help…?" He gently took hold of Haruhi's glasses, and pulled them off, glancing back at her, before freezing, eyes wide.

"H-hey, I need those!" Haruhi protested. "I used to have contacts, but I lost them on the first day of school!"

I blinked, staring at her big, brown eyes… she looked so… I shook the thought out of my head. Not important. Tamaki quickly shoved Hikaru and Kaoru aside, looking Haruhi over. He stopped, shaking a little, before he raised his hand… and snapped.

Now I admit I half-expected a giant burst of flame to explode from his fingertips, but I managed to somewhat conceal my automatic flinch. Alphonse cringed at the noise, and I suspected he must've felt the same.

Damn it Mustang.

"Hikaru, Kaoru." The twins saluted, shouting a 'Yes sir!', before both grabbed one of Haruhi's arms, and dragged the protesting girl towards the changing room. "Kyoya, my hair stylist!" Kyoya nodded, taking out his phone and quickly putting in a number. "Mori-senpai, run to the eye-doctor and get Haruhi some contacts!" Mori nodded, running off. "Edward, Alphonse," We bother perked up at the mention of our names. "Distract the ladies while Haruhi gets ready, make sure nothing goes wrong here." Wait, that's it? I shrugged, and following Alphonse, I managed to hear Tamaki say, "Honey-senpai… You…. Go have some cake." A quick glimpse over my shoulder and I say Mitskuni sulking in the corner, eating some strawberry cake with Usa-Chan.

…o0o…

I stretched a bit, feeling my stiff back pop a little, before relaxing in a much more comfortable state. All the Hosts were crowded around the changing room Haruhi was in, and I noticed Mitskuni sitting at a small table, with a half-eaten slice of cake on a plate in front of him, and roughly thirteen other plates stacked up on top of each other nest to him, crumbs rolling off. That can't be healthy…

Haruhi's uncertain voice rang out from behind the curtain, "Um, senpai…?"

Tamaki placed his hands on his hips, "Aren't you done changing yet?"

I swiftly elbowed his in the gut with my automail. "Geez man, be patient."

Eventually, the curtain slid back, and Haruhi peeked out, clad in the full male uniform, hair combed, standing up straight, no glasses."…Are you sure it's alright for me to keep this uniform?"

Tamaki squealed in delight at the sight. "Ooh! CUTE! You're as pretty as a girl! Adorable!" If only you knew…

"Haru-chan, you look so cute!" Honey exclaimed, sitting up at the sight.

"That looks really nice on you Haruhi-san!" Al said, smiling at her.

"If we'd known that's how you really looked…" Hikaru started.

"Then we would've helped you out sooner." Kaoru finished, smiling. I glanced over at them curiously. The two seemed to be acting a little… different around her… Bingo, they got it.

"Who knows, maybe he'll draw out some customers." Kyoya stated, looking over Haruhi, who was tugging at the collar of the uniform a little, looking a little uncomfortable.

Tamaki grinned, turning to face the rest of us. "You know, that's just what I was thinking!" He turned towards Haruhi, pointing a finger at her. "Our little errand boy is moving up the ranks! Starting today, you are an official member of the Host Club!" He gave her a sly smile. Oh no… "I will personally train you to become a first rate Host. If you can get one hundred customers to request your service, we will completely forget about your eight million yen debt!"

Haruhi's eyes widened, and she stumbled back, stammering, "A-A Host?"

…o0-Omake Break-0o…

"I think you're taking this poor thing too far…" Haruhi mumbled, scooting away from Tamaki.

The idiot himself twirled towards her, "Spurned, neglected, but that doesn't matter now!" He slapped a hand onto her back, "Long live the poor! We welcome you poor man to our world o-of... of... CRAP!" He spluttered, shaking his head at his slip up.

...o0-End Omake Break-0o...

I leaned back in my seat, looking over at Haruhi, who was surrounded by three other girls. She squirmed a bit, looking uncomfortable with the situation.

Kyoko looked over as well, blinking. "Are you worried about him?"

I shrugged. "Well, Haruhi's new to this, so I'm just curious as to how this'll turn out."

Shiemi nodded, "I see… would you like to go watch…?"

Well this is a surprise. Shiemi was normally rather shy, and this was the first time she spoke up and asked something. I nodded, smirking at her. "Of course, but only if you would like to."

Shiemi's race shifted to a bright red color. "Y-yes please!" I internally frowned. These girls were so easy to infatuate…

"Alright, let's see how our newest member is doing."

…o0o…

"Oh, I see…"

"Your mother was sick and passed away ten years ago…"

I blinked in surprise. Her mom died ten years ago…? Just like…! … Mom… The image of Trisha Elric flashed before my eyes, long chestnut hair, warm gray eyes, soft, fair skin, sunny smile… Mom… charred skin. Blood. Gaping mouth. Jaw unhinged and backwards. Messy, sticky hair. Bones. Organs. Beady black eyes. Raspy and hoarse voice. "Eeeed…waaarrrd…"

I quickly shook the image out of my head. Sorry mom… I turned my attention away from the mutated creature in my head, back to the brightly colored room, towards Haruhi, who seemed to have gotten used to the hosting by now.

"Who does the chores around the house?" One girl asked carefully, pity filling her eyes. I frowned at that. I hated pity. It wouldn't help anyone, just make one feel bad for themselves, which would get them nowhere. But the pity wasn't directed at me,
but at Haruhi.

She looked up at the girl with a sad smile. "Oh, I do them myself. My mother taught me, she was an amazing cook." She looked away, seemingly lost in a memory. "And when she went to the hospital… she left me all kinds of great recipes. It was fun to create each dish, especially when they turned out well. And it made me happy to see my dad enjoy it as well. I've had a hard childhood, but…" She looked up, giving her guests a reassuring smile. "Dad and I have managed to make it through okay."

All three girls stared at her, blushing furiously.

"So uh…"

"Is it okay if tomorrow…"

"We request to sit with you again tomorrow?"

Haruhi's smile brightened. "Yeah, I'd really appreciate that, ladies!"

I looked over to see Tamaki watching, peeking over the couch, with Kyoya standing next to him, and the twins on the ground behind the couch.

"Why is he so popular…?" Tamaki muttered.

"He's a natural, it seems." Kyoya responded, readjusting his glasses.

"No training needed." The twins agreed.

The redheaded girl next to Tamaki glanced over at him, and he quickly returned his attention to her. After a moment, he held up a hand, and snapped his fingers. "Haruhi, come here for a moment."

She looked up in confusion, but got up and walked over anyways. I scooted closer, wanting to hear this. "I'd like you to meet someone." He gestured towards the girl sitting next to him. I looked her over, recognizing her from the coffee incident. "This is my regular guest, Princess Ayano Koji." (1)

Haruhi blinked, eyes wide for a moment. So she recognizes her too… She quickly recovered, offering the girl a charming smile. "Miss, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Tamaki gasped, bolting up from his seat and tackling Haruhi, trapping the poor girl in a bear hug. "THAT WAS SO CUTE! THAT EYELASH BATTING WAS VERY GOOD! SUPER GOOD, AMAZINGLY GOOD!"

Haruhi's muffled screams went ignored as Tamaki twirled around with Haruhi smothered against his chest. Ayano stared, reaching out as if intending to stop it. "T-Tamaki…"

Haruhi managed to rip away a little, yelling out, "Mori-senpai, help me!"

He looked over, and narrowed his eyes dangerously. Next thing I knew, he had torn Haruhi from Tamaki's arms, holding her suspended in the air. I noticed his eyes widen a little in realization. Bingo.

Everyone froze, staring at the awkward scene. Tamaki's hand twitched. "Uh… Mori-senpai, you didn't need to go that far…" He let out a small, awkward laugh. "C'mon little one, let daddy give you a big hug!"

I frowned, looking over towards Ayano. Wait… she's… glaring? Her gray eyes glimmered with… jealousy? "I already got a dad, I don't need another one." Haruhi groaned. I narrowed my eyes. Something's going to happen…

…o0o…

I held my automail hand towards the sky, peering through the gloved digits into the clear blue sky. It's was rather nice out, not too crowded, and a cool breeze was passing through.

The water in the pond suddenly splashed, and I glanced over from my position under a cherry blossom tree, to see someone throwing something into the pond. Too big to be any coins… I got up, walking over to get a closer look. I hid behind a tree, glancing over at the person. It was Ayano, with a disgusted sneer plastered across her face. She turned on her heel, and walked away, leaving me behind. I got out of my hiding spot, and walked over to the pond to see what had happened.

There were books and school supplies scattered around in the pond, soaking wet. A satchel was floating around, emptied of its contents. I bent down, picking up one of the dripping wet books with my left hand. The water was cold alright, near freezing. I opened it, searching through it to try finding a name. Wait… Har-

"Hey! Edward!" I looked up, wide eyed to find Haruhi running towards me. She stopped, panting as she glanced between me, the book in my hands, and the other things in the pond. Wait… I looked back at the name.

Haruhi Fujioka.

Well shit. This does not look good. I dropped the book, staring back at Haruhi. Shitshitshitshitshitshit- "I-it's not what it looks lik-"

"It's okay Ed, I know you didn't do it." Eh? I blinked in surprise, finding Haruhi giving me a rather annoyed expression. "I saw from the window, you had just gotten here."

I nodded, as she quickly took off her shoes, rolled up her pants legs, and peeled off her socks, getting into the pond to get her things. I quickly got up. "Hey- let me help-" Not bothering with taking off my shoes, for obvious reasoned, I walked over, reaching down to grab a few books, and floating pencils.

…o0o…

"Hey commoner, Edward, you got some nerve skipping out on the club like that." I stopped my search for the missing wallet to look up, finding Tamaki near the pile of soaking wet supplies. I scowled at him, nodding towards the things, and he noticed, "Wait… what happened to…?"

Haruhi shook it off, returning to the search. "It's no big deal, we got it…"

Tamaki frowned, kneeling down to feel the water. After a moment, I suddenly felt someone grab my left arm, and I turned to see Tamaki, scowling at me. Oh man, that does not look right on him… "I got this, you get back onto dry land." I pulled away, narrowing my eyes.

"Why should I? I want to help Haruhi find his wallet."

He leaned down, - much to my annoyance, the freakishly tall giant… - and hissed into my ear, "Your automail's gonna act up in this freezing water, get out so nothing bad'll happen." There was, in fact, dull throb in my thigh, but I didn't mention it. I've had worse, so it didn't seem important.

But he was persistent, and I eventually found myself sitting next to the wet pile, watching at Tamaki found the wallet, and waved it front of Haruhi's face. After a moment, she quickly snatched it out of his hand. I grinned. Payback time, "Hey,
lovebirds! Time to get your asses inside already, lunch is just about over!"

Haruhi shot me a dirty look, and Tamaki simply blinked in confusion.

…o0o…

The ache in my leg didn't stop, but it was bearable.

Haruhi was seated with Ayano, who had curiously chosen to request her, despite the obvious hatred for the Host. I sighed, leaning back in my seat. I flashed a smile at my guests, continuing with my story. "And then, BAM! The entire shelf came crashing
down on us!"

Hiyori laughed, magenta eyes sparkling. "It seems you two really loved books, huh?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I still do actually."

Shiemi smiled. "It's good you have something you enjoy doing, I can't seem to find anything…"

Time to bring out my secret weapon, the unbeatable method that has been passed down the Elric line for generations! I pouted, looking up at her with my not very commonly used Puppy Eyes, Elric version. Mom could use it. Al used it a lot as well. And now it's my turn. I sunk band in my chair, giving her the saddest puppy eyes I could manage, which really wasn't that hard, considering I was already pretty sma... ahem, get back on track. "Do… Do you not enjoy speaking with me?"

Shiemi squeaked in surprise, and Hiyori and Kyoko squealed. Shiemi gulped, shaking her head. "N-no, it's just… the recent attacks. A friend of mine was a victim."

I stopped, eyes wide. So something had happened to one of her friends… Damn it Thorne… "I see… Do… you want to talk about it?" Shiemi paused, before shaking her head. "It's alright…" I said firmly. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." She nodded, giving me a thankful look.

There was a sudden crash, and we all nearly jumped out of our skins. I whirled around to find Haruhi's table flipped, with roses scattered across the floor with broken glass. Haruhi herself was caught straddling Ayano, screeching like a banshee, "No Haruhi! Leave me alone! Somebody help! He just attacked me!"

I got out of my seat, ignoring the growing aches in my thigh and hurried over, but Alphonse beat me there.

"Are you alright?" Al asked, only to receive a scream in response.

"Get away commoner! Someone do something! Teach these commoners a lesson!" Suddenly, two jugs of water poured onto the two girls, abruptly stopping Ayano's screeches.

The twins, who were both holding a now dripping jug, glared down at Ayano, who stared at them in shock. "Why… did you do that?"

Tamaki walked over, helping Ayano up, as Alphonse got Haruhi. Ayano let out a fake whimper, looking up at Tamaki pleadingly. "Do something Tamaki… Haruhi just assaulted me…"

He brushed her bangs aside, gazing into her eyes coldly. "I'm disappointed in you… you threw his bag into the pond, didn't you?"

Ayano's eyes widened, "Y-you don't know that…! You don't have any proof that I did!"

"You know, you're a beautiful girl, but you're just not classy enough to be a guest here. Because if there's one thing I know…" His violet eyes flashed dangerously, full of confidence. "Haruhi isn't that type of a man."

Ayano stared, stammering, "B-but… why Tamaki…?" She pulled away, before running off, sobbing, "Tamaki you idiot!"

Tamaki pulled his attention back to Haruhi, who was still dripping wet. "Now how to punish you… after all, it is your fault," he paused for a moment, before pointing a finger at her, "Your quota is now one thousand!"

Haruhi nearly toppled over in shock. "One thousand?!"

Al smacked him over the head. "I don't think there's that many people in this whole school!"

Tamaki rubbed his sore head, laughing, "C'mon, I've got high expectations for you, my little rookie."

Haruhi blinked, defeat glimmering in her eyes, but it quickly disappeared as Kyoya handed her a bag. "This is the only spare uniform we have left, but it's better than a wet one."

Haruhi nodded, taking the bag. "Thanks a lot you guys, I'm gonna go change."

Tamaki nodded, before quickly shoving me after her. "And you outta get your leg checked out."

I scowled, but went after her. "Yeah yeah, I got it…"

…o0o…

The automail sucked. Now Winry would kill me if I ever said that out loud, but in some situations, automail really wasn't the best.

The skin surrounding the port was a dark red, numb and freezing. Damn, I should have dried it off right after I got out of that pond. Running the towel through the grooves, and shaking out the rest of the water was a pain. The joints were moving stiffly, and it hurt like a bitch, so when Tamaki came in with the automail maintenance kit, I was thrilled.

After a little while of Tamaki gawking at the automail while I tended to it, I eventually heard Tamaki say something like, "I'm going to go give these towels to Haruhi", and leave. I started working on my automail, before-

Oh shit he's about to walk in on a girl changing.

I shot up from my seat and pulled the curtain back, just as Tamaki called out, "Haruhi, I brought you some towels." I saw his pull the curtain back, and he froze, staring. After a full second or two, the curtain slid back into place.

Well… bingo.

…o0o…

"Haruhi…"

"Yeah?"

"So… you're…a girl?"

"Biologically speaking, yeah." Haruhi pulled back the curtain, the sunny yellow dress falling into place on her, earning a very confused choking sound from Tamaki, who was twitching rather violently.

I stifled a laugh, "So it took you walking in on her half-naked to figure it out?"

Tamaki's face turned a bright shade of red, and he shot me a death-glare. "Sh-shut up!"

Haruhi frowned, crossing her arms. "Listen senpai, I don't really care if you recognize me as a boy, or a girl… tome, it's more important to be recognized for who they are, rather than for what sex they are."

Kyoya chuckled, adjusting his glasses. "Well, isn't this an interesting turn of events." The twins smirked at each other, looking as if they were about to burst into laughter.

Haruhi blinked, staring at the still-shell-shocked Tamaki. "Uh, you know senpai, I thought you were really cool back there…"

Tamaki stopped his seizure, blinked, before his face turned red in embarrassment. Kyoya smiled, glancing over in my direction. "You know, I may be mistaken, but it seems like we're witnessing the beginnings of love here."

I laughed at the obvious comment. "Of course it is."

"You know, getting fussed over by a bunch of girls may not be so bad…" Haruhi thought aloud, making Tamaki freeze in shock. She let out a laugh. "I'll just call everyone 'dude' and 'bro' now!"

…o0o…

A/N: I DID IT. Chapter one is DONE! *collapses on bed* Hope ya liked, please review, and stay tuned to see Ed and Al engage in a battle to the death of Kick the Can! … just kidding. Well, including ANs, I did manage over 9K words, 8K more than last time, YAY! Also, hope you like those Omake Breaks, they'll come in every chapter from now whenever I get bored, and they're like Bloopers, I guess XD Anyhoo, once again, please review!

(1) - I am hoping that's her name...

EDITED 2/12/2018 - Fixed some spelling and grammar issues, and I noticed there was a problem where the paragraphed were spit in two in the middle of a sentence so I fixed that as well.