Author's Note: Thank you so much for all the support I got on the first chapter of this! I was blown away by the amounts of alerts and favorites it received. Which is why this is already out, and it hasn't even been a week. That's how loved you guys make me feel. :) (hearts)
So this chapter was irritatingly hard to write at first (read: until I got to the Klaine-y bits)...but then I watched the episode on hulu while I was writing, and it got easier, so I hope it entertains you at least a little :). Also, I finally stopped lying to myself and categorized this as a Klaine fic. However, I promise that I'll include the other canon couples (even Finchel, while they last). Just wanted to throw it out there-as much as I love Klaine, I really did feel bad for Mercedes this episode. That's why there's so much focus on her...and I can throw in a little Mercedes/Anthony AU awesomeness if you want. Annnd finally, in case you didn't get the memo-I write fanon!Wes and David, because they're so much cooler than canon. I apologize for this long, and basically pointless author's note. :) Enjoy...The Substitute, facebook style!
Mercedes Jones is so excited to go bowling with Kurt Hummel! :D
Mercedes Jones: Or...not...
Kurt Hummel: I'm sorry, Cedes. :( I'll make it up to you, promise!
Mercedes Jones: You better, white boy. :S
Kurt Hummel: Friday still okay?
Mercedes Jones: Yeah.
(Kurt Hummel likes this.)
Rachel Berry hopes that the glee club has taken what she said to heart, and is coming up with solo ideas for her.
Santana Lopez: Jesus, dwarf. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly want to punch you in the face any more, you find a way to make it happen.
Quinn Fabray: Harsh. But kind of true.
Kurt Hummel: Rest assured that this will be dealt with at the earliest possible opportunity.
(Quinn Fabray and 8 others like this.)
Tina Cohen-Chang to Kurt Hummel: You are my new favorite person.
(Mike Chang and 9 others like this.)
Mike Chang: At first I was offended. Except then I thought about it, and you're kind of right. THANK YOU.
Puck: Fer real, man. I was about to push Berry down the stairs and make it look like an accident, not gunna lie.
(Santana Lopez likes this.)
Kurt Hummel: You're welcome. Holly Holliday is a goddess. I'm just glad she showed up when she did.
(Holly Holliday likes this.)
Brittany S. Pierce sees you drivin' round town with the girl I love...
(Artie Abrams and 9 others like this.)
Artie Abrams: ...and I'm like, "forgetchu!"
Quinn Fabray: Babygirl, you finally learned how to do status updates? I'm so proud of you!
Brittany S. Pierce: Artie did it for meee. :)
Artie Abrams: True dat. :D
N. Puck: That was hella fun, dude.
(Finn Hudson and 9 others like this.)
Holly Holliday: I'm glad you had fun! More to come. :)
(N. Puck and 9 others like this.)
Rachel Berry is very disappointed in the glee club's COMPLETE LACK OF DEDICATION.
N. Puck: ...no one likes this status Berry.
Kurt Hummel: Um, mayyybe because it's nonsense?
(N. Puck likes this.)
Finn Hudson: Rach, everything's fine. We're gonna be totally awesome for sectionals.
(Kurt Hummel and 9 others like this.)
Rachel Berry: Hmph.
Mercedes Jones to Kurt Hummel: Really? Again?
Kurt Hummel to Mercedes Jones: I am so sorry. I promise promise promise I'll make it up to you.
Kurt Hummel: "Live in my house, I'll be your shelter. Just pay me back with one thousand kisses..."
Blaine Anderson: "Be my lover, and I'll cover youuuu!"
(Santana Lopez and 25 others like this.)
Wes Craven: Don't get your hopes up, everyone. As adorably couple-y as this may appear, I have it on very good authority that nothing actually happened. :(((
David Hamilton: In other words, the continued longing sighs and LOOPED KATY PERRY MUSIC.
Wes Craven: Also, because Blaine alsdinm,zcael
Wes Craven: WHY ARE YOU NEVER THIS VIOLENT WITH DAVID?
Blaine Anderson: Because David, while still obnoxious, is less so than you. *charming smile*
David Hamilton: He's afraid you'll give away all his secrets.
David Hamilton: OW. Kurt, make him stop hurting us. :(
Kurt Hummel: *in an unconvincing monotone* Blaine, be nice.
Blaine Anderson: HA!
David Hamilton: Great, thanks. *pouts*
Mercedes Jones thinks this is quite possibly the worst week ever.
Kurt Hummel: :'(
Brittany S. Pierce: you know what u should do? pet a unicorn. it helps.
Mercedes Jones: Um. Thanks, Britt.
Brittany S. Pierce: :D
N. Puck: Holly Holliday is my hero.
(Holly Holliday and 10 others like this.)
Rachel Berry: I must admit, today was actually sort of fun.
Finn Hudson: Rach, you did amazing. You looked so hot. ;)
Artie Abrams: Agreed, yo.
(Mike Chang and 2 others like this.)
Santana Lopez: I actually almost forgot about how violently I dislike you for a few minutes. Good job, hobbit.
Quinn Fabray: Mean, much?
Santana Lopez: Whatever.
Kurt Hummel to Mercedes Jones: Did you think about what I suggested earlier? ;)
Mercedes Jones to Kurt Hummel: A little.
Kurt Hummel: Well?
Mercedes Jones: I don't know...maybe?
Kurt Hummel has sent Blaine Anderson a message.
Subject: Dinner.
I'm really looking forward to it! :)
...except I think Mercedes might be feeling a little left out (Okay, so I know she is.) because I haven't been hanging out with her that much. Would you mind if I invited her to Breadstix tomorrow?
Blaine Anderson to Kurt Hummel:
Subject: re: Dinner.
Of course not! Go ahead...the more the merrier.
And I do not take "no." ;)
Kurt Hummel to Blaine Anderson:
Subject: re: re: Dinner.
I caught that RENT reference, Mr. Anderson. Don't think I didn't. :)
Kurt Hummel to Mercedes Jones: Hey you. Check your phone...I just texted you.
Mercedes Jones finally gets to spend some time with her boy tomorrow! I don't even mind sharing him with Blaine Anderson...much.
(Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel and 2 others like this.)
Wes Craven: Do not fear the abnormal amounts of product in Blaine's hair. We promise it won't come alive and eat you.
David Hamilton: Just don't make eye contact with it for extended periods of time. That provokes it.
Blaine Anderson: ^ Haters. :(
Mercedes Jones: Haha, thanks for the advice guys. :)
Blaine Anderson is excited to meet Mercedes Jones in person. :)
(Mercedes Jones and Kurt Hummel like this.)
Mercedes Jones: Got that right, prep school.
Kurt Hummel is looking forward to din-din with Mercedes Jones and Blaine Anderson tonight! :D
(Mercedes Jones and 3 others like this)
Santana Lopez: KINKY.
Mercedes Jones: Breadstix, right? I spaced and deleted the message, and I don't remember. See? I AM DYING. I NEED TOTS.
Kurt Hummel: Obvi. :)
Tina Cohen-Chang: Breadstix? Nice. :)
Brittany S. Pierce: Bby, youre going to breadstix without me? :(
Kurt Hummel: I'll take you soon, boo. Promise. (hearts)
Brittany S. Pierce: ...I dont see any...?
Blaine Anderson to Kurt Hummel: I still cannot believe how much we have in common!
Kurt Hummel to Blaine Anderson: I know! It's so amazing!
David Hamilton: I can believe it. It's all we ever hear about. Ever. EVER, Kurt.
Blaine Anderson: David, I hate you passionately.
David Hamilton: Please. You love me so much that it causes you pain.
Wes Craven: But don't worry...not as much as he loves you, Kurt! :-*
Blaine Anderson: What in the hell is that?
Wes Craven: It's a kissy face, obviously. We're trying to hint at what you two should be doing right now.
David Hamilton: It astounds me that he hasn't come to murder us yet.
Wes Craven: I locked the door.
Blaine Anderson: That explains a lot...
(Kurt Hummel likes this.)
Blaine Anderson to Mercedes Jones: It was great to finally get to meet you the other day. Kurt's told me a lot about you. :)
Kurt Hummel: All good things, of course, Cedes.
Mercedes Jones: Duh, white boy. ;) Also, Blaine, I gotta tell you-you hurt my boy, I hurt you. Repeatedly.
(Finn Hudson and 15 others like this.)
Mercedes Jones: But it was good to meet you, too.
Blaine Anderson: Rest assured, I have no intention of hurting Kurt. Ever.
(Wes Craven and 15 others like this.)
Mercedes Jones: Good boy.
Quinn Fabray: Aww! :D Approved!
Kurt Hummel: Thanks, Mercedes. It was entirely unnecessary, but thank you. (hearts)
Brittany S. Pierce: Kurtie, whos Blaine? Is he a dolphin too?
Santana Lopez: Yes, Kurtie, is he (like I don't already know)? Because if he's not, I am all over that. ;D
Blaine Anderson: Um. Dolphin = ?
Kurt Hummel: Gay. Also, yes, boo, Blaine is a dolphin too.
Brittany S. Pierce: YAY! Are you going to have pretty dolphin babies?
Santana Lopez: I can't decide whether to be disturbed or turned on by that visual...
Puck: disturbed. so disturbed.
(Finn Hudson likes this.)
Finn Hudson: Hey, wait, are you two like dating or something?
Kurt Hummel: Finn Hudson, I LIVE with you. Could you please refrain from asking me stupid questions on social networking sites when you can just ask me the same stupid questions in person? I AM RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.
Finn Hudson: Geez, okay, touchy...
Santana Lopez: He's just pissy because he still hasn't gotten his hands in prep school's skintight jeans. ;)
Kurt Hummel: I hate you violently.
Kurt Hummel: Not you, Britt.
(Brittany S. Pierce likes this.)
Kurt Hummel to Blaine Anderson: Sorry my friends suck so much.
Blaine Anderson to Kurt Hummel: They're just protective, it's okay. :) They seem really sweet.
(Sam Evans and 10 others like this.)
Artie Abrams: Word.
N. Puck: Damn right.
Mercedes Jones: Well, this sucks.
Quinn Fabray: You okay?
Mercedes Jones: Yeah, just...yeah.
Quinn Fabray: You sure? I'm here if you need to talk.
Mercedes Jones: Thanks, girl. Just another hard day is all.
Quinn Fabray: Of course. Any time. It's the least I can do after everything you did for me last year. :)
Dave Karofsky likes Playboy, porn, sex with girls, hot girls and 111 other pages.
Blaine Anderson to Kurt Hummel: You okay? You haven't answered any of my texts...
Kurt Hummel to Blaine Anderson: Sorry. It was just a...hard day.
Blaine Anderson to Kurt Hummel: Want to talk about it?
Kurt Hummel to Blaine Anderson: No, I'm okay. Thanks, though.
Kurt Hummel: Can we maybe talk about something else?
Blaine Anderson: Of course! Whatever you want. :)
Mike Chang: So much fake raiiiin...
(Tina Cohen-Chang and 12 others like this.)
Sam Evans: It was kinda cool though.
(Mike Chang and 12 others like this.)
Will Shuester: I'm so glad you guys actually had the opportunity to experience one of my favorite songs with me!
N. Puck: It was actually a pretty alright song, Mr. Schue.
(Finn Hudson and 9 others like this.)